Fernanda Shoup, originally from Argentina and turning 40 with two toddlers at home! She married her wife during Covid outside at a barn in Parker but was supposed to be in Argentina! Talk about a different environment. When she connected with her wife, she wasn’t sure she wanted to be a mom but when she realized that she would parent with HER and that was what changed the whole thought about motherhood! When you have a wife, everything changes. Her wife didn’t want to be pregnant and Fernanda said she was 100% on board with carrying a child but unfortunately it took 2 ½ years of all kinds of infertility issues! Her pregnancy was a breeze and it was glorious. In the 3rd trimester her legs went numb and she was in a ton of pain. She tried many different remedies but it was demoralizing because no one would listen to her. After her wife had to FORCE the hospital to listen, they did scans and found a herniated disc and kept her overnight and had to do survey for her disc issue while 36 weeks pregnant. She had immediate pain relief as soon as she woke up from surgery! Her OB wasn’t the best and didn’t listen so they switched offices (always advocate for YOU) and she had a c-section at 39 weeks. Her c-section was quite the experience too! She struggled with so much postpartum depression and the “I’m not worthy” feelings. Her midwife told her “is the fact that your child wasn’t breastfed going to show up on their application for medical school?” Her feelings of inadequacy lasted months! Even her mom said she was a shell of herself. Her sweet life and her decided that they wanted more kiddos and her wife decided she would carry baby number 2. She got pregnant on the FIRST try! So when they came home with a newborn, they were pregnant with their second! Her wife is a firefighter and hated being pregnant and was on bedrest at 20 weeks!

Emily Hill is a hospice chaplain and licensed social worker. She developed a love for hospice when she was 7 years old because of her grandfather. She was so blown away by how hospice people change the world of the family of the person passing on. She earned a Master’s of divinity and connects with death doulas and how to make people comfortable. Regardless where you fall in the spiritual spectrum, death is a kind of rebirth into the next steps. She has two children and grew up as a pastor's kid but in her head she had everything planned out with the “normal” progression of get married, have babies, move on. She has a group of college girlfriends that she can’t do life without! She was the first one of the friends to have a baby and they showed up with a party size pizza because they were 24 and didn’t know any better! They are her people! Her best mama moment came recently when she was asked to chaperone a field trip and when she was worried what her 10 year old would say about her going. But low and beyond, her daughter was excited to have her, it made her heart so happy! Her worst mama moment was when she had a miscarriage. It rocked her world after having a 3, and 5 year old she had a miscarriage and she was devastated. It also could have ended their marriage because of how they experienced this loss. Humans often experience experiences so differently and they can sometimes make or break a marriage. She wishes she would have known that everyday is a fresh start. We build on things day after day but really every single day can be a do-over! Emily says, “give yourself grace!” You are never going to be perfect so give yourself grace!

Deborah Mallow never thought she wanted kids but after spending time with her friends and their kids, she fell in love with the idea of being a mom. She is one of the positive, happiest people you have ever met! In fact, she has written a book called 6 Steps to Fewer Days That Suck. What a great title! She was 38 when she had her son and now he’s in his 20’s, living in Minnesota. She struggled with balancing it all. She was exhausted through motherhood because she was so stressed about making sure everything was “good.” She wishes she would have taken more time to “chill.” She says living in the moment is important. Her husband was her biggest supporter and is still the doting father. He was always a very active dad and he used to have their son strapped to him. He has always LOVED being a dad. Her best mama moment was when her son went to college! As a helicopter mom, she was so proud! She encourages you to understand that if people are not kind to you, it’s not something YOU need to worry about. Disengage from toxic people. Confidence, resilience and positivity are the three life skills you need for this life. Find the things in life that are positive because all things are contagious and if you go down the negative road, that’s what you will attract. You can find her at thedailydecisions.com.

Dr. Jann Blackstone is a Jan of all trades as a behavioral scientist because she studies people's behaviors. She likes to call it mediation to bring people together. She predominantly works with co-parents to get families to be able to parent in a cohesive way for everyone in the family. A bonus family is basically a step-family but she didn’t like the word “step.” That word was just too negative. THe biggest need of a bonus family is acceptance. All of the people in the family need to feel nurtured and accepted and that all starts with acceptance. The logistics of a bonus family are really important to make everyone feel comfortable and “at home.” She coined the phrase “bonus” as how the family can all work together. Bonus means a reward for a job well done. Once you feel like you are part of the family, then you want to be involved and you will respect your bonus parents. She says there can’t be too many people who love your child. Everyone is different and that’s what the acceptance thing is all about. Comparing is when things go badly. You need to reach out for help to have a relationship because putting the kids first should be your priority. Using the children as the criteria for all decisions. Modeling apologies for your kids is really important. She isn’t saying you can’t fight in front of your kids. BUT what you can do, is disagree but then when things are calmed down, model the “I’m sorry.” Using the words that you want your children to learn, and model in the real world. When you tell your kiddo NOT to do something, you need do tell them what TO do. Also, when parents are splitting up, try to talk to them together and what those kids really want to know is how this is going to affect THEIR life. Kids are egocentric and that’s their job. As children get older, you are going to have to repeat yourself many times. As they grow, their cognitive ability has changed and they need reassurance. Adding children to a bonus family all comes down to communication and respect so that the unknown isn’t feared. You can find Dr. Jann Blackstone at https://bonusfamilies.com/ She wrote a book called The Bonus Family Handbook and is found on Amazon and all places where books are sold!

Angela Tipton runs a website called fireyourcareer. She believes in empowering other women to live their truths. She became a mom at the age of 30 because she focused on creating her career. She had a tough time balancing her career and personal ambitions with being a mom. She didn’t want to set aside her career but finding the time to be 100% at both. Her husband has been her biggest supporter and was truly her 50% parenting partner. She also has some family around her in Oregon. Her mother- in-law and aunt were two of her biggest supporters and she doesn’t know how she would have done it all without them. Choosing her best mama moment was tough because she has so many great memories and times with her two boys. She took her eldest skiing for the first time and was so impressed with his tenacity and the chance to watch him enjoy a sport that she loved was a highlight in her mamahood journey. Her worst mama moment came during Covid when childcare wasn’t available and figuring out all of the dynamics behind all of that was really tough. She wishes she would have known that parenting was harder than she ever thought it would be. But she also learned that she is getting through it and you can work things out. Preparenting she had lots of opinions but they didn’t turn out to be very realistic. Going with the flow is so important in parenting. At Fire Your Career is all about living life on YOUR terms. The pursuit of what makes you happy is so important, especially financial freedom. She has a free ebook on her website. Check it out!

Riana Milne is a coach and psychotherapist for parents. She specializes in childhood and
relationship trauma. 100% of us have childhood trauma because sometimes it comes from 3 generations. She is a mama of two very empowered ladies as a single mom. She uses the
theory of mindset for success, she created a modeling agency. She has written 13 books and has a podcast all about relationships. She believes in empowering women to be healed in order to be the best mom they can be. When you know what childhood trauma is, you can change how you parent and how your kiddos grow. She teaches people about the top 10 childhood traumas: Alcohol or addiction issues, verbal messaging, emotional abuse or neglect, physical abuse, abandonment, foster care or adoption, personal trauma, sibling trauma, community and family trauma, mental health issues with mom or dad are the top 10 traumas that absolutely touch 100% of people. Understanding what traumas are in your past can help you understand your own behaviors and how you parent. The first step to healing is identifying your traumas and then working through those traumas. Parents have a direct impact on who their kids become and watching what you say and how you encourage or don’t encourage makes a huge difference. Plant the positives. Riana works 100% virtually and can help any parent to help them become the best parent and human that they can be. Rianamilne.com is where you can find her. She has free book downloads and tests and quizzes. Her podcast is called Lessons in Life and Love. Check her out because her expertise can really help you.

Kim Keane is a mom of two daughters and lives in Pennsylvania who also helps women through their healing journey through sound healing and reiki. Using vibrational frequency helps healing through tuning into your chakras. She was 27 when she became a mom and her biggest challenge has been letting go of perfectionism. This was a huge issue because both girls are strong willed and arguing with “yourself” is really hard. Motherhood hasn’t always been a fun journey until she healed her own trauma and could see that she couldn’t expect perfectionism from them or herself. She felt she was on her own since her husband worked a ton and often struggled with frustrations of teaching Kindergarten and having kids who didn’t listen at work and at home. Her husband is her biggest supporter now and all of the things that we are responsible for and transport kids where they need to be. Her mom has always been the pitch hitter in the family when she needed her. Her best mama moment is watching the sisterhood relationship that has developed with her daughters. Having them spill the tea with her makes her realize that she has done a good job to cultivate the trust. Her worst mama moments came with her lack of patience. Again, it came back to her own need to control the situation. She wishes she would have known she didn’t need other people’s validation or opinions. You are setting yourself up for disappointment because other people’s opinions don’t matter in the long run. She wants moms to know that it’s ok to ask for help and it’s ok to care for yourself (whatever that looks like for you). Kim wants to help moms and you can find her at kimkeane.com

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Aureen Monteiro is an author of a book called Rise Higher, to manage stress for women in higher profile positions. She became a mom at 27 with her one and only baby girl. She is a teenager now and it’s been a roller coaster as a mama of a teenager! The spectrum of emotions is something she didn’t see coming. She was worried she would lose her connection with her preteen but she learned that she needed to listen more and talk less. Evolving as a mom as our kids evolve is so important. Tweaking your communication methods is essential in order to continue the relationship in a positive way. Her biggest challenge as a new mom was the unintended c-section and breastfeeding. It truly takes a village to raise a child. She had a village and sometimes that wasn’t enough. There are nights when you just sit and cry right alongside your kiddos. Her daughter made her proud when she was in 5th grade when she wrote her own book. She had her own book published about being bullied and how to get through that. They are both writing books simultaneously and it’s a really wonderful way to connect with each other. Her least favorite mama moment was when she realized she had an identity crisis. She went from being Aureen to only being her daughter’s mom. Losing your own identity is hard. Be open to listening to what your kids share without judgement. Their way of communicating might be different than the ways you expect but give them the time and space. Be willing to pivot your communication ways! She used to wish she would have had a manual but learning alongside her daughter has been an amazing 14 years. Her website is risefromtheash.com where you can learn more about her journey and how to manage stress.