Episodios

  • Why Your Bedroom Could Be Your Best Self-Improvement Opportunity

    Why Your Bedroom Could Be Your Best Self-Improvement Opportunity
    Nov 11 2025

    In the next few days, if you take on this task, you’ll improve a small part of your home. This isn’t just about getting organized, though that’ll happen, it’s about acquiring a mindset that can transform every aspect of your life.

    Hey there. It’s me, Kore. And you’re listening to Exercising Self-Control: From Fitness To Flourishing.

    Here’s what you do. Pick a small room where you live and commit to spending 30 to 60 minutes per day improving this room to a new standard of excellence. I recommend your bedroom but if that’s not practical choose another space.

    Getting Started

    Have a look at the room you’ll be improving. To keep this from being too clunky I’ll refer to “the bedroom” from now on.

    What do you see when looking at your bedroom? Is everything where you want it to be? Does anything need to be cleaned or repaired or upgraded? Does anything need to be removed? Would adding something make it better?

    The main question you want to answer is, “What would make this bedroom an excellent bedroom?”

    Make a list of everything you’d like to change as it occurs to you. When the list is complete, put the changes you’d like to make in priority order. That is, the most important first down to the least important.

    The Process

    Work on number one until complete. Then move onto number two, three, etc. Work for 30 to 60 minutes every day until everything has been done. Now you have an excellent bedroom according to your own standard.

    Photo by Spacejoy on Unsplash

    After completing this first improvement project, you can move onto other areas you’d like to improve. This can be other spaces in your home or beyond.

    Beyond Your Home

    This same approach will transform your other life areas.

    * Work Appraise your email management, project workflow, meeting efficiency, workspace organization. Prioritize and improve systematically.

    * Relationships Consider your communication, conflict resolution patterns, quality time systems, and shared responsibility structures. Which improvement would make the biggest difference?

    * Health Examine your sleep habits, eating patterns, exercise routines, stress management, and medical care systems. Apply the same prioritization and systematic improvement approach.

    What Happens As A Result

    You’ll know you’ve internalized this life improvement mindset when you find yourself approaching problems systematically rather than feeling overwhelmed by complexity. This mental framework reduces stress, simplifies decision-making, and creates lasting change because you’re taking on the responsibility for making your life better.

    You see what needs doing, organize a project around that, and get to work.

    Whether organizing your kitchen or restructuring your career, the approach remains the same: step back, identify the current reality, set a new standard, prioritize improvements, and work methodically through your list.

    Going forward, investing the time and effort in ever expanding areas, you’ll acquire something more valuable than an excellent life. You’ll develop a perspective and mindset that applies in any circumstance. Your focus becomes channeled toward continuous improvement as a way of life.

    Start Today

    Give this a go. Your first simple improvement project is waiting. The mindset transformation that’s possible can be the start of something truly life changing.

    That’s it for today. Catch you next time.



    This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit stoicstrength.substack.com
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    4 m
  • Keep Yourself Consistent With Your Word

    Keep Yourself Consistent With Your Word
    Nov 10 2025
    In goal achievement, accountability is often suggested to help with success. The concept is straightforward. Get a coach or a partner who serves as an external resource to help you keep your word. Whether it’s waking up at 6 a.m. consistently or sticking to a workout routine, these accountability systems provide outside influence and support.But here’s the thing: you can lie to a coach, deceive your accountability partner, and even attempt to fool yourself. However, the third option, self-deception, fails 100% of the time. You always know exactly what happened.Here I’m talking specifically about scenarios you have determined clearly beforehand what your behaviour is going to be. An assignment or task, for example. A coach might not discover your failure, your partner might remain oblivious, but you know. This is why personal accountability trumps all external systems.Hey there. It’s me, Kore. And you’re listening to Exercising Self-Control: From Fitness To Flourishing.The Natural Inclination Toward Self-DeceptionOur brains naturally resist accountability because acknowledging failure triggers discomfort. We rationalize (“just five more minutes of work”), minimize (“missing sleep one night won’t hurt”), and deflect (“I’ll make up for it tomorrow”). Recognizing these patterns is the first step toward breaking them.Possible Counter-Arguments To “You Can’t Lie to Yourself”Now, is it true we can’t lie to ourselves? This, as in many things, depends. There are forms of self-deception that occur non-consciously that are possible.1. Psychological Defence Mechanisms: Psychologists have extensively documented how our minds protect us through denial, repression, and rationalization. People genuinely convince themselves that harmful behaviours aren’t problematic. For example, alcoholics who truly believe they “don’t have a drinking problem”, or workaholics who sincerely think their 80-hour weeks are “temporary”. These aren’t conscious lies. They’re non-conscious self-protection mechanisms.2. Cognitive Dissonance and Compartmentalization: We’re capable of holding contradictory beliefs simultaneously. Someone might genuinely believe they value health while consistently making unhealthy choices without experiencing the internal conflict you’d expect. They’ve compartmentalized these beliefs so effectively they don’t register the contradiction.3. The Neuroscience of Self-Deception: Brain imaging studies show that self-deception activates different neural pathways than conscious lying. When we successfully deceive ourselves, we’re not accessing the same “truth detection” systems that would catch us lying to others. The brain literally processes self-deception differently.4. Gradual Boundary Erosion: The “one-more-minute” phenomenon works precisely because each individual extension beyond the boundary feels insignificant. People aren’t lying about their bedtime. They’re genuinely convincing themselves that “this time is different”, or “this exception is justified”.5. The Motivational Blindness Effect: Research shows that when we’re highly motivated to achieve something, we genuinely don’t “see” ethical violations or boundary breaches. It’s not conscious deception. Our motivation literally blinds us to information that conflicts with our goals.And finally, perhaps the most compelling challenge is that if we truly couldn’t lie to ourselves, self-deception wouldn’t be such a universal human struggle requiring constant vigilance and external systems to overcome.This counter-perspective suggests that personal accountability requires developing the skill of honest self-awareness rather than simply relying on an innate inability to self-deceive.My PositionMy position, as always, is that what we do non-consciously is not up to us as a matter of choice in the moment. What we can do is make conscious choices. That’s it. Those conscious choices are best when consistent with the person we intend to be, the values we aspire to live, and the goals we strive to realize. It’s these conscious intentions with which we can purposefully condition our non-conscious behaviours and processes.And when we have clarity on our intentions, we can develop the integrity required to more effectively live the life we prefer. It’s from this perspective that we can become more honest about our own choices.That said, let’s get to the practicalities.Photo by Brett Jordan on UnsplashCommon Self-Deception PatternsBeyond my own bedtime struggles where I far too regularly postpone sleep for “just one more thing”, people commonly lie to themselves about:* Diet choices: “This cheat meal doesn’t count.”* Financial habits: “I’ll budget starting next month.”* Exercise routines: “I’ll work out twice as hard tomorrow.”* Relationship boundaries: “I’ll address this issue later.”The Predictable Consequences Of Self-DeceptionWhen we break ...
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    9 m
  • How To Build More Strength By Establishing "Neurological Trust"

    How To Build More Strength By Establishing "Neurological Trust"
    Nov 9 2025
    Have you ever wondered why your pull-ups suddenly fail even though your back muscles feel fine? Or why you can lift one leg high to the side but can’t do a full split? The answer lies in a fundamental principle that governs your movement: Neurological Trust.Hey there. It’s me, Kore. And you’re listening to Exercising Self-Control: From Fitness To Flourishing.A Strong Foundation = A Strong PerformanceWhen you do pull-ups your grip strength often determines your overall performance. Not because your lats aren’t strong enough, necessarily, but because your brain operates on a simple safety protocol. If your grip is weak, your nervous system doesn’t trust that you can maintain good contact with the pull-up bar. This neurological override actually reduces the strength signals sent to your pulling muscles, limiting your performance before your prime movers even fatigue.Studies in motor control and biomechanics have demonstrated this phenomenon across multiple movement patterns. When your brain perceives instability or weakness at any point in the kinetic chain, it inhibits force production as a protective mechanism. This neurological inhibition affects everything from strength to flexibility to coordination.The Grip-Strength Connection: Building TrustThe solution starts with building that “neurological trust” through foundational strength. For pull-ups, this means developing your grip endurance. For example, you could build up to a 45 to 60 second dead hang with a few sets at the end of your resistance workouts.It makes sense, doesn’t it? If someone is able to do a set of 10 to 15 pull ups they’ll be hanging on the bar between 30 to 45 seconds depending on the speed of their reps. If they can’t hang that long they obviously won’t be able to complete their set. That’s why many people use lifting straps. I believe it’s better to improve your grip strength so you can access your pulling strength at any time, no lifting straps needed.Me, mid-pull-up, when I was coaching regularly at an obstacle course racing gym (circa 2020). My grip strength was at an all-time high during this time.This same principle applies to rowing movements, bent-over rows, and single-arm dumbbell rows, for example. When your grip is solid your brain directs a fuller neural drive to the prime movers.Beyond Grip: The Flexibility RevolutionThis neurological override doesn’t just affect pulling movements, it also changes how we understand flexibility. Current research suggests that what we perceive as “tight muscles” is often neurological inhibition, not tissue limitation.Consider the side split. Stand and lift one leg to the side as high as possible. Note that angle. Now attempt a seated side split. Despite having the same hip joints, you likely can’t achieve that same angle on both sides at the same time. Physiologically, there’s no tissue connecting your adductors from one leg to the other. Your brain is the limiting factor.Passive, or what’s also called relaxed, stretching doesn’t address this neurological issue. Instead you need to train the stretch under load (i.e. moving into a stretch while using resistance) or with a method called “contract-relax” or PNF (i.e. proprioceptive neuromuscular facilitation) stretching.If you’d like to try the “contract-relax” method:* Move into your stretch position* Contract the stretched muscle for 5 seconds* Relax and then move slightly deeper* Repeat 3-5 timesThis teaches your nervous system to trust new ranges of motion by demonstrating strength throughout the movement.The Balance Factor: Stability Unlocks StrengthThe neurological trust principle becomes most obvious with balance challenges. When you’re unstable (e.g. when performing a single-leg Romanian deadlift) your brain prioritizes balance over power. Every micro-adjustment to maintain stability diverts neural resources from your prime movers to your stabilizing muscles.If you do the same exercise with just a slight hand support, you can immediately handle more weight or perform more repetitions. The stability allows your nervous system to dedicate a fuller effort to the intended movement pattern.This is why squatting on unstable surfaces, like a Bosu ball, is counterproductive for building leg strength. You’re not training your quadriceps and glutes from a solid base. Instead, you’re training your balance reflexes while your brain inhibits force production for safety.Determine Your Strength Training ScenarioSo, before blaming weak muscles during any resistance exercise you may be doing, ask yourself:* Is my foundation solid?* Am I fighting for balance?* Do I have strength through the full range of motion?Do your best to move through a full range of motion when resistance training. This has you naturally moving into a stretched position under load which trains your neurology to trust your strength at those ranges.The LessonYour brain will inhibit strength, movement, and flexibility when it...
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    7 m
  • Do You Know What Your Exercise "Diet" Lacks?

    Do You Know What Your Exercise "Diet" Lacks?
    Nov 7 2025
    Imagine eating only chicken and rice for every meal. Your body would eventually rebel, lacking essential vitamins, minerals, and nutrients found in fruits, vegetables, and other protein sources. You probably already know this about food but have you ever considered that your exercise routine might be suffering from the same monotonous “diet”?Hey there. It’s me, Kore. And you’re listening to Exercising Self-Control: From Fitness To Flourishing.The Movement-Nutrition ParallelJust as your dinner plate needs a colourful array of foods for complete nutrition, your fitness routine needs a diverse movement palette for complete health.Think of it this way:* Cardiovascular exercise is like your vegetables, essential for heart and lung health.* Strength training acts like protein, building and maintaining your muscle foundation.* Mobility work resembles healthy fats, keeping your joints supple and functional.* Power and explosive movements? Those are your quick-burning carbohydrates, providing energy and athletic spark.Beyond the Basic FourThere’s a lot of focus placed on fundamental movement patterns: push, pull, squat, hinge. These form an excellent foundation, especially if you’re just starting out. However, the human body is capable of amazing things. As witnessed across every sport and physical activity imaginable. Your movement menu shouldn’t stop at the basics any more than your food choices should stop at the four food groups.Fitness, by definition, means you are fit for something specific. The question becomes “What do you want to be fit for?” Carrying groceries upstairs? Playing with your kids? Hiking mountain trails? Maintaining your independence as you age?Photo by Toomas Tartes on UnsplashAssessing Your Exercise DietTake a moment to evaluate your current routine using these questions:* Does my workout challenge my heart and lungs differently throughout the week?* Am I building strength, endurance, power, and mobility in a balanced way?* Would my current fitness prepare me for unexpected physical demands?* Am I training movements I actually use, or want to use, in daily life?If you’re like most people you might discover some nutritional gaps in your exercise diet, so to speak. Maybe you’re strength training regularly but neglecting cardiovascular health. Perhaps you run frequently but rarely challenge your power or mobility. These imbalances are as problematic as eating only protein while skipping vegetables.The Health Span RevolutionHere’s where this variety becomes truly important: we’ve moved beyond just talking about lifespan. Now health span is the goal (i.e. how long you can live with vitality, independence, and cognitive sharpness). Research shows that varied movement patterns directly support brain health, preventing cognitive decline and memory loss. Different types of exercise challenge your balance, coordination, and reaction time; skills that determine whether you can navigate stairs safely at 80 or recover from an unexpected stumble.Consider three specific examples:* lifting weights maintains bone density that prevents fractures* balance training reduces fall risk by an average of 30%* cardiovascular exercise increases blood flow to the brain, supporting memory and decision-makingEach movement type contributes unique benefits that can’t be replaced by the others. Just like how vitamin C from oranges can’t replace the iron from spinach.Your Complete Movement MenuCreating exercise variety doesn’t mean overwhelming complexity. Start by ensuring your weekly routine includes:* Something that makes you breathe hard (cardiovascular)* Something that challenges your muscles against resistance (strength)* Something that improves your range of motion (mobility)* Something that demands quick, powerful movements (explosiveness)* Something that tests your balance and coordination (stability)The beauty of this approach lies in its flexibility. Dancing covers cardiovascular fitness and coordination. Rock climbing builds strength while challenging problem-solving skills. Yoga enhances mobility while calming the mind. Sports naturally combine multiple elements while keeping exercise engaging.The Long GameJust as a varied diet supports lifelong health, diverse movement patterns prepare you for whatever life demands. Whether that’s keeping up with grandchildren, maintaining independence, or simply moving through your day pain-free, your body needs a complete fitness foundation.You’re not just exercising for today’s goals. You are investing in decades of future vitality. Make your movement menu as rich and varied as your dinner plate.That’s it for today. Catch you next time. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit stoicstrength.substack.com
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    6 m
  • The Lesson My Shoelaces Taught Me About An Effective Pause

    The Lesson My Shoelaces Taught Me About An Effective Pause
    Nov 6 2025

    So here’s a life lesson that smacked me in the face again today. I’ve butted my head against this teaching moment more times than I should have, considering all the thinking and time I’ve put into learning the dichotomy of control. But yeah, I guess I’m thick-skulled, mule-headed, or just not very intelligent. Maybe all of the above.

    Hey there. It’s me, Kore. And you’re listening to Exercising Self-Control: From Fitness To Flourishing.

    Here’s what happened. I went to untie my shoes and felt some resistance when I pulled the lace. Without thinking, I just kept pulling harder. What I’d done was create some sort of knot that wasn’t there before. As I moved about during the day, my laces had configured themselves to make untying more of a challenge. By pulling harder, I made this new knot even tighter.

    Photo by Glen Carrie on Unsplash

    Then I had to get my fingernails in there, really look at it, trying to figure out what I’d done. I ended up spending way more time than usual taking my shoe off when I should have felt that little bit of resistance from the first tug and stopped to investigate.

    I could have paused and thought, “Hey, this has happened before.” I’ve been dealing with shoelaces for a lifetime and I’ve felt that little resistance before. Pausing costs almost nothing. Maybe an extra few seconds. But avoiding that second harder pull would save me minutes of frustration.

    This stubborn shoelace made me realize how often I apply the same counterproductive approach to bigger challenges.

    When you’re facing something that seems routine and there’s unexpected resistance, the instinct is to think, “I’ll just force it” or “I’ll just push harder.” Sometimes it works. But it’s wiser to pause and evaluate what’s really going on.

    Think about this, you’re in a meeting and your idea meets resistance. Do you push harder, repeat yourself louder? Or do you pause to understand the objection?

    You’re having a disagreement with someone you care about. Do you insist on your point when you hit a wall? Or do you stop to really hear what’s causing the disconnect?

    The principle works across the board. If you don’t know why something isn’t working, what’s causing the resistance, force usually isn’t the answer. Take the time to understand what’s happening. It might take a minute and save you ten. That’s the old saying: a stitch in time saves nine.

    When you’re sure it’s all good, you can get back on pace quickly. No big deal. But if you try to bulldoze through and make things worse, now you’re creating your own obstacles. That’s not effective or efficient.

    The next time you feel resistance (whether it’s a shoelace, a conversation, or a problem that should be simple) remember the pause before the pull. Sometimes the wisest action is the one you don’t take right away.

    That’s it for today. Catch you next time.



    This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit stoicstrength.substack.com
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    3 m
  • Reflections On The First 100 Episodes

    Reflections On The First 100 Episodes
    Nov 5 2025
    100 episodes in 100 days. One commitment that has changed how I approach both fitness and life.Photo by Tim Wildsmith on UnsplashHey there. It’s me, Kore. And today marks the 100th episode of Exercising Self-Control: From Fitness to Flourishing.Back on July 11th, I posted the teaser trailer for this podcast with a short description of what I had in store for you. Eighteen days later, on July 29th, came the very first episode and my commitment to publishing one episode every day for a thousand days in a row. That mission has been my North Star, and honestly, it’s taught me more about consistency and transformation than I expected.Three Lessons LearnedHere’s what I’ve learned over these first 100 episodes:First, the power of showing up daily changes you in ways you can’t predict. Just as in fitness, where one workout seems insignificant but 100 workouts transforms your body, this daily practice has shifted how I think about commitment and growth. As I’ve shared in past episodes, consistency may start with discipline and effort but it ends in a shift in identity. I’m now someone who publishes daily. The work has worked on me as much as I have worked on it.Second, your past efforts are a resource you can draw on today. These first 100 episodes have largely been drawn from personal notes I’ve kept over the years: handwritten notes I went through one by one, sometimes randomly, sometimes grouped together for those multi-part series that you’ve experienced; electronic notes I kept and moved from Google sheets to Evernote to Amplenote and so on over the years. I’ve also referenced old videos and other projects that I’ve done. What struck me was how much wisdom we accumulate without realizing it. Every thought, every reflection on life, fitness, and personal development becomes valuable when you commit to sharing it consistently.Third, this podcast journey is literally demonstrating its own philosophy. The goal has always been to help you use exercise as the foundation for transforming your entire life. Well, that’s exactly what’s happening for me. This daily practice has become the foundation for my own career transformation. I’m transitioning from working as a fitness trainer to becoming a one-on-one coach, helping people wherever they are in the world apply these principles to their lives.With that little segue I’ve got some plans going forward.The PlanThe daily commitment continues but my approach will require some change in strategy. I’ve been putting as much as four and a half to five hours into each episode. It’s also been less at those times when my notes were basically intact and just needed to be less meandering since they were personal thoughts that I was just writing for myself. But dedicating that many hours to a single episode isn’t sustainable if I want to help people one-on-one, which is my new focus.Going forward, episodes will be more off the cuff, more impromptu. I’ll be putting less production effort into each individual episode because I’ll be putting more energy into the bigger picture (i.e. working with individuals one-on-one to implement these ideas in their lives). This episode is an example of that shift: just me, riffing, letting you know what’s happening, and giving myself a little celebration with a shorter episode.I do have some loose ends to tie up, particularly finishing what I introduced in the episode To Be Effective Use The Power of One where I gave you a bird’s-eye view of how to be effective using one purpose, one principle, one skill, one system, and one task. That’s coming up and will require more organization because I want to wrap that framework up properly for you.What’s Next?Beyond that? Well, tune in and find out. But here’s what I can promise: every episode will continue serving the same mission—helping you understand that the virtuous self-control you develop with your exercise practice isn’t just about getting stronger physically. It’s about developing the principles, skills, and systems for becoming who you choose to be in every area of your life.The first 100 episodes laid the foundation. I appreciate you being part of the journey. Now let’s see what the next 100 will bring.That’s it for today. Catch you next time. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit stoicstrength.substack.com
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    5 m
  • The Secret To Making Regret-Free Choices

    The Secret To Making Regret-Free Choices
    Nov 4 2025
    Why do some people consistently make decisions they later regret, while others seem to navigate life with unwavering clarity? The difference often comes down to their understanding of the relationship between values, virtues, and principles and how to use this framework for principled action.We’re going to get into the weeds on these three concepts today. With these clarified you’ll be able to make better choices in any aspect of your life.Hey there. It’s me, Kore. And you’re listening to Exercising Self-Control: From Fitness To Flourishing.Principled action (i.e. action based on your conscious, honest understanding of reality) is the only consistently effective action. Principled action yields long-range success because it also aligns our daily choices with our highest values.The Framework DefinedFirst, let’s define our terms:Value - that which one acts to attain and/or maintain* This is the motive power in your life. With your values held clearly and with commitment you can better create the quality of life you prefer.Virtue - the principled action by which one attains and/or maintains a value* A virtue is a value operationalized (i.e. your values enacted).Principle - a concept that accurately reflects reality* Acting on principle is the best we can do in the moment. The place from which we act to live our highest values and realize our most important goals.* Remember, we don’t act on reality necessarily, we act on what we imagine is reality. The better our grasp of reality the more effective our actions.To sum it up: Value is the end, virtue is the means, and principles are the foundation upon which we act.Framework in Action: The Entrepreneur ExampleCore Value: Financial FreedomSupporting Virtue: ProductivityDaily Principles: Material value creation, long-term thinking, continuous learningPreferred Self-Identity: The EntrepreneurDaily Behaviours: Coaching, writing, marketing, strategic planningPreferred Outcome: Monthly income of at least $25,000Notice how the entrepreneur’s daily actions flow directly from their principles (i.e. material value creation, long-term thinking, continuous learning), which support their virtue of productivity, which serves their core value of financial freedom.Photo by Natasha Hall on UnsplashSuccess as IntegritySuccess can be described simply as integrity. It’s living consistent with your highest values. Failure, then, is the lack of integrity or living inconsistent with your claimed values.True success is acting consistent with your Preferred Self (PS) in the moment of choice. Your PS is the most excellent version of yourself you can imagine being in every regard (i.e. who you are minus your limiting beliefs and unwanted conditioned behaviours).Failure is failing to take action or living inconsistent with your stated values. Only fearful inaction (i.e. what you refrain from doing because of fear) is regrettable. A value voiced yet not acted upon cannot be a true value. It’s only a value enacted (i.e. a virtue) that’s a true value.Common Pitfalls to AvoidMany people confuse goals (e.g. a certain level of income, a specific relationship, six-pack abs) with values (e.g. financial freedom, security, fitness), leading to misaligned actions. Others try to adopt virtues without understanding the underlying principles, resulting in inconsistent behaviour. The most common mistake is voicing values you don’t actually hold. This creates internal conflict and decision paralysis.Warning signs you’re off-track:* Regularly acting against your stated values.* Feeling conflicted about major decisions.* Realizing goals that leave you unfulfilled.An Exercise: Reflecting On Four VirtuesEvery moral value is best expressed as a lifelong practice of virtue. Virtue is the value enacted and is its own reward. Virtue brings the value to life in the very moment it’s enacted. In other words, when you choose to exercise virtuous self-control you can be successful as a matter of choice.Here are four virtues and a question to discover how it might apply in your life.Independence → The ability to direct your experience regardless of circumstances or others’ opinions. When did you last make a choice based on your own judgment rather than others’ expectations?Integrity → The strength of character to act consistent with your standard of personal excellence regardless of your own emotional turbulence or social pressure. What situation recently tested your commitment to your values?Honesty → The assurance that your choices are based on your understanding of reality in as full a context as possible. Where might you be avoiding an uncomfortable truth?Rationality → The adherence to reason, as opposed to emotional thinking, for every virtuous choice made. What decision would benefit from more careful reasoning?Practical Application FrameworkStep 1: Identify Your Core Values Ask yourself: “What do I most want to attain and/or maintain in life?” Look beyond surface ...
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    10 m
  • Is Your Goal Setting Causing More Harm Than Good?

    Is Your Goal Setting Causing More Harm Than Good?
    Nov 4 2025
    In the same way that targets are useless unless you are shooting, goals are useless unless you are taking action.Photo by Kenny Eliason on UnsplashIf you are not taking action to realize your goals, the goals you have can only cause negative emotions. Frustration, guilt, shame, sadness, or anger inevitably result from having goals you are doing nothing to achieve. Research by psychologists Edwin Locke and Gary Latham confirms that goals only improve performance when they’re paired with specific action plans and regular progress monitoring. Without these elements goals become sources of psychological stress rather than motivation.Hey there. It’s me, Kore. And you’re listening to Exercising Self-Control: From Fitness To Flourishing.The Hidden Cost of Inactive GoalsConsider hypothetical Brenda, who has maintained the same three New Year’s resolutions for five consecutive years: get fit, learn Spanish, and start a side business. Each December these unfulfilled aspirations resurface, bringing waves of disappointment and self-criticism. Brenda’s goals aren’t motivating her. They’re slowly eroding her confidence and creating a pattern of learned helplessness.Contrast this with someone who’s transformed their vague fitness goal into a specific system: “I am attending my gym’s 6 AM strength training class every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.” When asked about their goal six months later, they don’t talk about getting fit, they talk about their deadlift progress and the friends they’ve made in their morning class.The difference? It’s best to create what psychologists call “implementation intentions.” These are specific when/then or if/then scenarios that set up clear directions that increase goal realization by up to 300%. You want to design practical steps and systems, not abstract wishes with undefined plans.Self-Assessment: Are Your Goals Helping or Hurting?Take a moment to evaluate your current goals using these questions:* Can you name three specific actions you’ll take this week toward each goal? If not, your goal is too vague or lacks an action plan.* Do your goals energize you or create anxiety when you think about them? Effective goals should feel challenging but achievable, not overwhelming.* How many of your goals have remained unchanged for more than six months? Stagnant goals often indicate misalignment with your actual priorities or current capacity.* Do you have more than five active goals? Research suggests that beyond 2-3 primary goals, effectiveness diminishes dramatically due to divided attention and cognitive overload.If your answers reveal inactive or stress-inducing goals, you’re not alone. You simply need better goal architecture.Goals Become Powerful When...Goals transform from psychological burdens into powerful catalysts under specific conditions:* They Generate Immediate, Specific Actions Instead of “I want to write a book” (This is a passive goal that breeds guilt), try “I am writing 300 words every Tuesday and Thursday from 6-7 AM” (This is an active goal that drives behaviour). The goal gradient effect shows that people accelerate their efforts as they approach milestones. This only happens when progress is measurable and actions are specific.* They Include Built-in Tracking Systems Effective goals have review mechanisms. Weekly check-ins, progress tracking, or accountability partners transform abstract intentions into concrete commitments. Without tracking, goals remain wishes. What gets tracked, focuses attention and breeds action.* They Connect to Immediate Rewards, Not Just Future Outcomes Sustainable goals provide short-term satisfaction alongside long-term benefits. Many people enjoy their morning gym community immediately, even as they work toward their fitness objectives. If all you can look forward to is the far-in-the-future possibility of achievement you’re following a recipe for eventual abandonment.Common Pitfalls That Create Harmful Goals* Social Pressure Goals: Goals adopted because others expect them, not because they align with your values or interests. These can create resentment and rarely sustain motivation. Your goals need to be YOUR goals.* Overwhelming Ambition: These are “transform my life” goals that require sweeping life changes. If you put too much pressure to change everything you’ll likely end up changing nothing. Start small and simple, expanding your scope as you become more competent and skilled.* Unclear Next Steps: Goals without obvious first actions create decision paralysis. “Start a business” is paralyzing. “Research three successful businesses in my industry this week” is actionable.* No Exit Strategy: Some goals outlive their usefulness but we cling to them out of sunk-cost thinking. Regularly evaluate whether your goals still serve your current life situation.Commit To Discover Misaligned GoalsThe most liberating aspect of this approach? It gives you permission to abandon goals that ...
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    10 m