The Secret To Making Regret-Free Choices

Why do some people consistently make decisions they later regret, while others seem to navigate life with unwavering clarity? The difference often comes down to their understanding of the relationship between values, virtues, and principles and how to use this framework for principled action.We’re going to get into the weeds on these three concepts today. With these clarified you’ll be able to make better choices in any aspect of your life.Hey there. It’s me, Kore. And you’re listening to Exercising Self-Control: From Fitness To Flourishing.Principled action (i.e. action based on your conscious, honest understanding of reality) is the only consistently effective action. Principled action yields long-range success because it also aligns our daily choices with our highest values.The Framework DefinedFirst, let’s define our terms:Value - that which one acts to attain and/or maintain* This is the motive power in your life. With your values held clearly and with commitment you can better create the quality of life you prefer.Virtue - the principled action by which one attains and/or maintains a value* A virtue is a value operationalized (i.e. your values enacted).Principle - a concept that accurately reflects reality* Acting on principle is the best we can do in the moment. The place from which we act to live our highest values and realize our most important goals.* Remember, we don’t act on reality necessarily, we act on what we imagine is reality. The better our grasp of reality the more effective our actions.To sum it up: Value is the end, virtue is the means, and principles are the foundation upon which we act.Framework in Action: The Entrepreneur ExampleCore Value: Financial FreedomSupporting Virtue: ProductivityDaily Principles: Material value creation, long-term thinking, continuous learningPreferred Self-Identity: The EntrepreneurDaily Behaviours: Coaching, writing, marketing, strategic planningPreferred Outcome: Monthly income of at least $25,000Notice how the entrepreneur’s daily actions flow directly from their principles (i.e. material value creation, long-term thinking, continuous learning), which support their virtue of productivity, which serves their core value of financial freedom.Photo by Natasha Hall on UnsplashSuccess as IntegritySuccess can be described simply as integrity. It’s living consistent with your highest values. Failure, then, is the lack of integrity or living inconsistent with your claimed values.True success is acting consistent with your Preferred Self (PS) in the moment of choice. Your PS is the most excellent version of yourself you can imagine being in every regard (i.e. who you are minus your limiting beliefs and unwanted conditioned behaviours).Failure is failing to take action or living inconsistent with your stated values. Only fearful inaction (i.e. what you refrain from doing because of fear) is regrettable. A value voiced yet not acted upon cannot be a true value. It’s only a value enacted (i.e. a virtue) that’s a true value.Common Pitfalls to AvoidMany people confuse goals (e.g. a certain level of income, a specific relationship, six-pack abs) with values (e.g. financial freedom, security, fitness), leading to misaligned actions. Others try to adopt virtues without understanding the underlying principles, resulting in inconsistent behaviour. The most common mistake is voicing values you don’t actually hold. This creates internal conflict and decision paralysis.Warning signs you’re off-track:* Regularly acting against your stated values.* Feeling conflicted about major decisions.* Realizing goals that leave you unfulfilled.An Exercise: Reflecting On Four VirtuesEvery moral value is best expressed as a lifelong practice of virtue. Virtue is the value enacted and is its own reward. Virtue brings the value to life in the very moment it’s enacted. In other words, when you choose to exercise virtuous self-control you can be successful as a matter of choice.Here are four virtues and a question to discover how it might apply in your life.Independence → The ability to direct your experience regardless of circumstances or others’ opinions. When did you last make a choice based on your own judgment rather than others’ expectations?Integrity → The strength of character to act consistent with your standard of personal excellence regardless of your own emotional turbulence or social pressure. What situation recently tested your commitment to your values?Honesty → The assurance that your choices are based on your understanding of reality in as full a context as possible. Where might you be avoiding an uncomfortable truth?Rationality → The adherence to reason, as opposed to emotional thinking, for every virtuous choice made. What decision would benefit from more careful reasoning?Practical Application FrameworkStep 1: Identify Your Core Values Ask yourself: “What do I most want to attain and/or maintain in life?” Look beyond surface ...