The Lesson My Shoelaces Taught Me About An Effective Pause

So here’s a life lesson that smacked me in the face again today. I’ve butted my head against this teaching moment more times than I should have, considering all the thinking and time I’ve put into learning the dichotomy of control. But yeah, I guess I’m thick-skulled, mule-headed, or just not very intelligent. Maybe all of the above.

Hey there. It’s me, Kore. And you’re listening to Exercising Self-Control: From Fitness To Flourishing.

Here’s what happened. I went to untie my shoes and felt some resistance when I pulled the lace. Without thinking, I just kept pulling harder. What I’d done was create some sort of knot that wasn’t there before. As I moved about during the day, my laces had configured themselves to make untying more of a challenge. By pulling harder, I made this new knot even tighter.

Photo by Glen Carrie on Unsplash

Then I had to get my fingernails in there, really look at it, trying to figure out what I’d done. I ended up spending way more time than usual taking my shoe off when I should have felt that little bit of resistance from the first tug and stopped to investigate.

I could have paused and thought, “Hey, this has happened before.” I’ve been dealing with shoelaces for a lifetime and I’ve felt that little resistance before. Pausing costs almost nothing. Maybe an extra few seconds. But avoiding that second harder pull would save me minutes of frustration.

This stubborn shoelace made me realize how often I apply the same counterproductive approach to bigger challenges.

When you’re facing something that seems routine and there’s unexpected resistance, the instinct is to think, “I’ll just force it” or “I’ll just push harder.” Sometimes it works. But it’s wiser to pause and evaluate what’s really going on.

Think about this, you’re in a meeting and your idea meets resistance. Do you push harder, repeat yourself louder? Or do you pause to understand the objection?

You’re having a disagreement with someone you care about. Do you insist on your point when you hit a wall? Or do you stop to really hear what’s causing the disconnect?

The principle works across the board. If you don’t know why something isn’t working, what’s causing the resistance, force usually isn’t the answer. Take the time to understand what’s happening. It might take a minute and save you ten. That’s the old saying: a stitch in time saves nine.

When you’re sure it’s all good, you can get back on pace quickly. No big deal. But if you try to bulldoze through and make things worse, now you’re creating your own obstacles. That’s not effective or efficient.

The next time you feel resistance (whether it’s a shoelace, a conversation, or a problem that should be simple) remember the pause before the pull. Sometimes the wisest action is the one you don’t take right away.

That’s it for today. Catch you next time.

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