In this episode, I’m joined by Dr. Natalie Faber to explore a question I often return to: What if a narcissistic family system operates like a cult?

When we hear the word cult, it can conjure images of something extreme, distant, or dramatic, something that happens to other people. But what if a cult simply describes a system. A system where one person’s reality becomes the only acceptable reality. Where it’s “my way or the highway.” Where you’re trained to question yourself, but never the person in charge.

We’ll talk about how these systems are upheld through conditional love, inconsistent rules, and roles that determine your worth based on how well you perform. While education often focuses on the narcissist’s behaviour, this conversation looks beyond the individual to the wider system that protects and maintains the dynamic.

Using real-life examples, we explore how the psychological dynamics of cults and narcissistic families can be strikingly similar.

Dr. Natalie Faber joins us from the Lalich Center on Cults and Coercion, where she serves on the board of directors and oversees continuing education for clinicians. She is an associate teaching professor of psychology at Arizona State University and a licensed psychologist in private practice, specialising in work with survivors of cultic abuse, spiritual and religious abuse, and coercive control.

If you grew up in a family where love felt conditional and you became hyper-vigilant, constantly monitoring and managing your narcissistic parent’s moods. Where you learned not to trust your own mind, and self-doubt became second nature, where obedience felt like survival in a home that trained you to question yourself but never the person in charge! Then this episode offers a powerful new lens for understanding what you lived through, and why it was never your fault.

Dr. Natalie Fabert

Lalich Center on Cults and Coercion

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BEYOND SURVIVAL - The Therapy Podcast

In this episode, I explore the trauma responses many of us developed just to survive childhood and why they still show up in our adult lives.

I’ll break down the main trauma responses, the core wounds they originate from, and how these patterns are shaped by growing up with narcissistic parents.

I’ll also walk you through the four types of narcissistic parents and how each one impacts a child’s nervous system, sense of self, and relationships, and why your responses were never flaws, they were there survival responses!

Most importantly, we’ll talk about healing: how to begin meeting the wounds underneath your trauma responses with compassion, safety, and choice, rather than shame. This episode is for anyone who has ever asked, “Why do I react this way?” and is ready to move beyond survival and into self-trust and emotional freedom

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BEYOND SURVIVAL - The Therapy Podcast

This week, I'm unpacking one of the most common yet misunderstood experiences for adult children of narcissistic abuse: Narcissistic Parentification.

I’ll walk through the different roles the children are cast into; Scapegoat Child, Golden Child, Enmeshed / Gilded Child, The Invisible Child, and how these roles profoundly shape your relationships, boundaries, identity, and sense of self today.

By understanding the dynamics behind the role you were assigned, you can finally challenge the narratives that kept you small and start healing on your own terms.

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BEYOND SURVIVAL - The Therapy Podcast

In today’s episode, I'm diving into Instrumental Parentification — a dynamic where a child becomes the household’s “mini Cinderella.” They’re the ones cooking, cleaning, managing bills and appointments, caring for siblings, or even being conditioned into the role of caregiver for an ill family member.

We’ll explore how these adult-sized responsibilities shape a child’s sense of self, and how the impact often follows them into adulthood, influencing their relationships - especially with their siblings.

Listen to understand how this pattern develops, why it’s so damaging, and what healing can look like.

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BEYOND SURVIVAL - The Therapy Podcast

In this solo episode, I’m diving into the topic of parentification — what it looks like, how to recognise it, and why naming your experience is the essential first step toward healing.

Before we can deconstruct and dismantle the roles and patterns we grew up with, we need the language to understand what truly happened to us. I’ll be sharing real, relatable examples to help you spot the subtle and not-so-subtle signs of parentification in your own family system and explore how these dynamics may have shaped your sense of self, relationships, and emotional world.

This episode will help you recognise the signs of parentification - for you or your siblings - and begin making sense of your story with clarity and compassion.

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BEYOND SURVIVAL - The Therapy Podcast

In today’s episode, we dive deep into the complex topic of enmeshment—what it is, how it forms, and what healthyfamily patterns actually look like. We explore the journey of emancipation: how to recognise the conditioned roles you were assigned in childhood and, most importantly, how to break free from them.

Joining us is Dr. Ken Adams, renowned national lecturer, workshop leader, and consultant specializing in child abuse, dysfunctional family systems, and sex addiction. Dr. Adams is the acclaimed author of Silently Seduced, When He’s Married to Mom, and A Light in the Dark.
Together, we unpack the dynamics of enmeshment and offer insights on reclaiming your autonomy and emotional freedom.

www.drkenadams.com

www.overcomingenmeshment.com

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BEYOND SURVIVAL - The Therapy Podcast

“I started this work at the age of 19. I was a child abuse advocate, a sexual abuse advocate, a domestic violence advocate, a therapist — and yet, I didn’t know it was happening to me.”

Dr. Christine Cocchiola is a leading expert on the experience of adult and child victims of coercive control. But even with all her knowledge and training, she found herself living inside the very dynamic she’d dedicated her life to understanding and preventing.

In this powerful and deeply personal conversation, Dr. Cocchiola shares her own story — the signs she missed, the psychological grip of coercive control, the impact on children, and how to recognise it in your own relationship. She also offers essential guidance on how to protect children from a coercively controlling parent.

This episode is a must-listen for anyone seeking to understand the hidden dynamics of control and reclaim their sense of safety and self.

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www.coercivecontrolconsulting.com

Ted X Talk - It's All Coercive Control

BEYOND SURVIVAL - The Therapy Podcast

Solo Episode - This week on Beyond Survival – The Therapy Podcast, I’m unpacking the truth behind people pleasing.

So often we think of it as a habit or personality trait - but in reality, it’s a deeply ingrained survival response.

When a child grows up in dysfunction, their nervous system learns that safety comes from centering others and erasing themselves. This fawning response isn’t about being “too nice” - it’s about self-abandonment learned in an environment where needs, emotions, and authenticity weren’t safe.

Join me as I explore how this pattern forms, how it shows up in adulthood, and what healing looks like when we start to reclaim our right to exist, take up space, and be seen.

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BEYOND SURVIVAL - The Therapy Podcast