“I started this work at the age of 19. I was a child abuse advocate, a sexual abuse advocate, a domestic violence advocate, a therapist — and yet, I didn’t know it was happening to me.”

Dr. Christine Cocchiola is a leading expert on the experience of adult and child victims of coercive control. But even with all her knowledge and training, she found herself living inside the very dynamic she’d dedicated her life to understanding and preventing.

In this powerful and deeply personal conversation, Dr. Cocchiola shares her own story — the signs she missed, the psychological grip of coercive control, the impact on children, and how to recognise it in your own relationship. She also offers essential guidance on how to protect children from a coercively controlling parent.

This episode is a must-listen for anyone seeking to understand the hidden dynamics of control and reclaim their sense of safety and self.

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www.coercivecontrolconsulting.com

Ted X Talk - It's All Coercive Control

BEYOND SURVIVAL - The Therapy Podcast

Solo Episode - This week on Beyond Survival – The Therapy Podcast, I’m unpacking the truth behind people pleasing.

So often we think of it as a habit or personality trait - but in reality, it’s a deeply ingrained survival response.

When a child grows up in dysfunction, their nervous system learns that safety comes from centering others and erasing themselves. This fawning response isn’t about being “too nice” - it’s about self-abandonment learned in an environment where needs, emotions, and authenticity weren’t safe.

Join me as I explore how this pattern forms, how it shows up in adulthood, and what healing looks like when we start to reclaim our right to exist, take up space, and be seen.

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BEYOND SURVIVAL - The Therapy Podcast

This week a listener asks a question: How do I let go of all the rage?

After years of no contact with her abusive family, she’s exhausted by how much power the past still has over her present.

She doesn’t want revenge or empty apologies - she just wants peace. But how do you move forward when there will never be justice? In this episode, we explore what rage really is beneath the surface, why it can feel impossible to release, and how to begin freeing yourself from its grip so you can finally start living for you.

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www.callaghancounselling.ie

BEYOND SURVIVAL - The Therapy Podcast

This week, I read a letter from a listener who’s been no contact with her mother for two years - but still feels like she’s living with her shadow.

Every bark of the dog, every knock at the door, sends her body into high alert. Even something as simple as checking the mailbox feels dangerous.

Myself and Dr. Ruth Callaghan will explore what it’s like when no contact doesn’t bring peace, and how our nervous system can become stuck in fight/flight - especially when the person we’re protecting ourselves from once felt impossible to escape.

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BEYOND SURVIVAL - The Therapy Podcast

Question - "I'm never going to find her easy but how do I regulate after exposure to her?"

In this episode, we hear from a listener - an only child - who has spent a lifetime navigating exhaustion, guilt, and confusion in her relationship with her aging mother.

Her mother calls her “my everything,” professes deep love, yet never asks about her life or family. Instead, she elicits promises, plays the victim, uses guilt to control, and bends the truth to suit her narrative.

For this listener, going no contact isn’t an option. So she’s learning to hold firmer boundaries — limiting visits, stepping back from constant caretaking, and seeing the manipulation for what it is — but still battles the heavy weight of guilt and self-doubt: “Am I being too harsh?”

With growing self-awareness and hard-won clarity, she asks a powerful question: "How do I regulate better when with her - and after?"

Together, Ruth and I explore how to stay grounded in contact with a narcissistic parent, how to recover from the emotional crash afterward, and how true healing often means redefining love, responsibility, and self-worth on your own terms.

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BEYOND SURVIVAL - The Therapy Podcast

This week, we read a powerful letter from a listener whoasks myself and Dr. Ruth Callaghan the question: "How do I decide whether or not to go no contact? I can't seem to spend time with them that doesn't involve drama?"

The listener describes growing up with a mum who seemed caring on the surface — "never shouting, just nagging, crying and hounding me, until she gets her own way" — and a dad who told her to “keep the peace.”

Now, as a mother herself, every attempt to set a healthy boundary is met with guilt, tears, and emotional pressure.

In this episode, we explore what it’s like when love comes with strings attached, how emotional manipulation can hide behind the illusion of softness, and the painful process of deciding whether connection is still possible — or whether protecting yourself means finally walking away.

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BEYOND SURVIVAL - The Therapy Podcast

Trigger Warning: Sexual Abuse

Q "What I’m currently struggling with is this pattern I have where if there is a pause in our physical intimacy due to life stress or other circumstances I feel incredibly afraid and triggered into feeling worthless and think our relationship is doomed."

In this deeply moving episode, we explore the lasting impact of childhood trauma on even the healthiest adult relationships. A listener grew up with a covertly narcissistic mother, being placed in the “gilded child” role, and enduring emotional enmeshment and covert sexual abuse. After confronting her past and investing in recovery, she finds herself triggered by fears of abandonment and worthlessness whenever intimacy shifts in her relationship.

Together Ruth and I unpack how childhood wounds can resurface in adult partnerships, why healing can feel like a maze, and what tangible, actionable, steps can help move from old patterns of survival into deeper connection and trust.

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BEYOND SURVIVAL - The Therapy Podcast

These weeks listener asks these 3 questions

• Is it unrealistic to expect her to change?
• How do I get her voice out of my head that I’m in the wrong?
• Have others found a way to be in a relationship with a mother with narcissistic tendencies

Listen as Ruth & Katie unpack these questions and what they really mean for your healing, your boundaries, and your sense of self.

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www.callaghancounselling.ie

BEYOND SURVIVAL - The Therapy Podcast