Most of us think behaviour management is about stopping the outburst—but the truth is, what happens afterwards matters even more. In this solo episode, Andy Baker unpacks the power of repair after conflict and why it’s the most overlooked stage in care, education, and family life. Learn how repair builds trust, strengthens relationships, and prevents repeated incidents—whether you’re a parent, teacher, or carer.

💙 Sponsored by Carers Card UK The Able to Care podcast is proudly sponsored by Order your card today

🔗 Resources & Links Mentioned

• Dan Siegel’s Name it to Tame it principle

• Bowlby’s Attachment Theory

• Andy Baker’s relational response flow (Connect → Resolve/Correct → Record/Reflect)

🧠 Three Key Messages

1. Repair is not optional – Behaviour isn’t truly resolved until trust is rebuilt afterwards.

2. Brains learn in recovery, not in crisis – Reflection works only once calm has returned.

3. Repair strengthens relationships – Consistent repair fosters safety, resilience, and long-term positive outcomes.

⏱️ Chapter Timestamps

• 00:00 – Why repair is the missing piece in behaviour management

• 02:00 – Understanding recovery vs. crisis learning

• 04:15 – The neuroscience of memory and the recency effect

• 06:00 – Repair, attachment theory, and building resilience

• 08:30 – Practical frameworks: feelings before facts & reflection models

• 11:00 – Real-world example: A parent choosing repair over confrontation

• 13:00 – The PERFORM framework for debrief and moving on

• 15:30 – Objections answered: “We don’t have time for repair”

• 17:30 – Final reflection: Trust is built in recovery, not calm

🎯 Why Listen to This Episode? If you’ve ever wondered why the same behaviours keep happening, this episode will shift your perspective. You’ll walk away with practical tools for:

• Rebuilding trust after conflict

• Supporting children, adults, or older people more effectively

• Saving time and energy by preventing repeat incidents This is essential listening for anyone in care, education, or parenting who wants stronger relationships and better outcomes.

🔗 Connect with Us

In this episode of the Able to Care Podcast, host Andy Baker is joined by Mary Merheim, elderly nutrition consultant and author of Navigating Nutrition in Later Life. Mary shares practical insights into why appetite often declines with age, the hidden risks of malnutrition in older people, and the simple, everyday strategies carers can use to help loved ones eat well.

From small snack hacks to re-thinking mealtime as a social connection, this conversation is full of advice for parents, carers, and professionals who want to ensure dignity, independence, and better health through food.

💙 Sponsored by Carers Card UK Carers Card UK provides support, recognition and rewards for carers across the country. From discounts on gym memberships, clothing and days out, to access to wellbeing tools and a supportive community, it’s all available for less than the price of a box of chocolates a year.

👉 Get your Carers Card today: Order your card today

🔗 Resources & Links Mentioned

• Mary’s Website: marymerheim.co.uk

• Grand Bars (nutritious cake snacks): grandbarsnacks.com

• Mary’s Book: Navigating Nutrition in Later Life – available on Amazon

• Follow Mary on TikTok for short tips: @MaryMerheim

🧠 Three Key Messages

1. Every mouthful matters – older adults still need nutrient-dense food, not just calories.

2. Social eating boosts appetite – shared meals encourage connection and prevent loneliness.

3. Small changes go far – whole milk, eggs, oats, and fortified snacks can transform daily nutrition.

⏱️ Chapter Timestamps 00:00 – Introduction & Sponsor: Carers Card UK 01:41 – Why nutrition in later life matters 06:00 – Why appetite often declines with age 12:00 – Signs of poor nutrition in older adults 20:00 – Food, mood, and the link to mental health 30:00 – Small changes that make a big difference 40:00 – Practical snack and meal ideas 50:00 – Real stories of nutrition improving lives 55:00 – Gadgets, adjustments, and independence 01:00:00 – Supporting people with dysphagia 01:02:00 – Where to find Mary Merheim & Grand Bars

🎯 Why Listen to This Episode? If you’ve ever worried about a loved one losing weight, refusing meals, or becoming frailer with age, this episode is essential listening. Mary provides evidence-based advice and compassionate guidance for carers and families navigating the tricky reality of appetite loss, malnutrition, and dignity in later life.

You’ll walk away with practical tips you can use straight away – from making small swaps in the kitchen to transforming mealtimes into moments of joy and connection.

🔗 Connect with Us 📲 Instagram: @AbleTraining 📲 LinkedIn: Able Training 📲 TikTok: @AbleToCarePodcast 🌐 Website: AbleHub.uk

Lying is one of the behaviours that gets under our skin the most. Whether it’s a child saying “I didn’t do it”, a teen spinning a story, or an adult covering up a mistake, our instinct is often to jump straight to moral judgment. But what if lying isn’t about dishonesty at all? What if it’s about survival, safety, control, and self-esteem?

In this solo episode of the Able to Care Podcast, Andy Baker explores the psychology of lying—why it’s a universal behaviour across ages and cultures, what research reveals about punishment versus empathy, and how parents, teachers, and carers can respond in ways that build trust and honesty instead of shame.

💙 Sponsored by Carers Card UK Caring, whether paid or unpaid, deserves recognition. Carers Card UK is the nation’s leading carers card, giving you:

• An ID card with emergency info access

• A growing discount network (gyms, days out, clothing, glasses & more)

• A Wellbeing Hub, Carers Circle tool, and app-based community All for less than the cost of a box of chocolates per year. 👉 Order yours today Order your card today

🔗 Resources & Links Mentioned

• @AbleTraining 📲 LinkedIn: Able Training 📲 TikTok: @AbleToCarePodcast 🌐 Website: AbleHub.uk

When dementia takes away memories, what happens to identity—especially if the world never truly recognised it in the first place? In this powerful episode of the Able to Care Podcast, host Andy Baker speaks with Neil Cutler, advocate, presenter, and trustee at Dementia Forward. Drawing on his personal journey of caring for his late husband who lived with dementia, Neil shares candid insights into how dementia uniquely impacts older LGBT people. From navigating prejudice in care settings to the fight for inclusive dementia training, this is an unmissable conversation about love, loss, dignity, and the urgent need for change in health and social care.

💙 Sponsored by Carers Card UK

Are you caring for someone, paid or unpaid? You could be missing out on thousands of pounds in discounts. Carers Card UK offers:

• ID card with emergency info access
• Exclusive discounts on gyms, days out, electrical goods, and more
• Access to a wellbeing hub, Carers Circle tool, and mobile app

All for less than the price of a box of chocolates per year. 🎟️ Order your card today

🔗 Resources & Links Mentioned

• Dementia Forward – Neil’s organisation supporting people living with dementia across communities.

• Targeting the Positive with Behaviours That Challenge

🧠 Three Key Messages

1. Identity matters in dementia care – recognising and respecting who someone is can be as important as supporting what they can do.

2. Language shapes inclusion – words like “placement” or “contact” can feel clinical; replacing them with “home” and “family time” fosters dignity.

3. Training is essential – mandatory LGBT dementia awareness training can transform care home culture and ensure no one is forgotten.

⏱️ Chapter Timestamps

• 00:00 – Introduction: Dementia, memory, and identity

• 02:00 – Neil’s story: Love, care, and losing his husband to dementia

• 10:00 – How dementia impacts LGBT identity in care homes

• 16:00 – Person-centred care vs. identity never recognised

• 21:00 – Why inclusive training matters

• 25:00 – Activities, community, and belonging in care homes

• 34:00 – Family, friends, and chosen support networks

• 38:00 – Turning grief into purpose: Neil’s advocacy and training work

• 46:00 – Hopes for the future of inclusive dementia care

🎯 Why Listen to This Episode? This episode goes beyond dementia—it’s about dignity, belonging, and creating care systems that truly see people for who they are. Whether you’re a parent, teacher, carer, or health professional, Neil’s story will inspire you to think differently about inclusion, compassion, and how we respond to the most vulnerable in our communities.

🔗 Connect with Us

📲 Instagram: @AbleTraining 📲 LinkedIn: Able Training 📲 TikTok: @AbleToCarePodcast 🌐 Website: AbleHub.uk

In this solo episode, Andy Baker unpacks why calling someone a “good kid” or a “bad kid” (or colleague, or parent) is a trap. You’ll learn how confirmation bias, the fundamental attribution error, and the halo/horn effect quietly shape our judgments—then get practical, trauma-informed ways to move from moral labels to needs-based, descriptive language. Perfect for parents, teachers, and carers who want better relationships, calmer behaviour, and fairer decisions.

💙 Sponsored by Carers Card UK

Are you caring for someone, paid or unpaid? You could be missing out on thousands of pounds in discounts. Carers Card UK offers:

• ID card with emergency info access
• Exclusive discounts on gyms, days out, electrical goods, and more
• Access to a wellbeing hub, Carers Circle tool, and mobile app

All for less than the price of a box of chocolates per year. 🎟️ Order your card today

🔗 Resources & Links Mentioned

• Confirmation Bias (explainer) — how we only see what we expect: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Confirmation_bias

• Fundamental Attribution Error — why we blame their character but excuse our context: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fundamental_attribution_error

• Halo/Horn Effect — first impressions that distort everything after: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Halo_effect

• Targeting the Positive by Andy Baker (the TARGET model & de-escalation tools) Targeting the Positive with Behaviours That Challenge

🧠 Three Key Messages

1. Labels limit: “Good/bad” thinking triggers confirmation bias, making us collect evidence to prove ourselves right and miss the full picture.

2. Describe, don’t judge: Swap moral labels (“He’s aggressive”) for neutral, specific behaviour (“He shouted when asked to stop playing”). Curiosity beats certainty.

3. Need behind behaviour: Most behaviours serve a function (survival, regulation, communication, control). When we meet the need, behaviour improves.

⏱️ Chapter Timestamps

00:00 — The “good vs bad” trap: why it feels neat but harms decisions

00:19 — 💙 Sponsor: Carers Card UK

01:40 — Why black-and-white thinking shows up in care, education & home

02:21 — Spectrum thinking: people aren’t heroes or villains

03:14 — How labels drive prejudice, stigma & shame cultures

04:01 — Ignorance vs malice: why learning is non-negotiable in care

04:24 — Psychology 101: confirmation bias

05:10 — Fundamental attribution error in everyday life (and traffic!)

06:01 — Halo/horn effect: when looks & first impressions mislead us

07:14 — Moral lens vs needs lens: “What happened to you?”

08:21 — Practical reframes: replace labels with descriptive language

09:15 — Be a detective, not a judge: 3 context questions to ask

09:35 — The “benefit behind behaviour” (survival, regulation, communication, control)

10:20 — Create a balance sheet: record positives as diligently as incidents

11:14 — Notice & reinforce what you want to see more of

13:07 — Boundaries + understanding: compassion isn’t “excusing”

14:20 — Culture shift: stop cementing identities, start spotting strengths

15:01 — Your one-week challenge: swap judgment for curiosity

🎯 Why Listen to This Episode?

• Actionable: Concrete language swaps & prompts you can use today.

• Evidence-informed: Social-psychology concepts made practical for parents, teachers, and carers.

• Relationship-first: A humane, trauma-informed path to better behaviour and trust.

🔗 Connect with Us

📲 Instagram: @AbleTraining 📲 LinkedIn: Able Training 📲 TikTok: @AbleToCarePodcast 🌐 Website: AbleHub.uk

If you found this helpful, please rate, review & share with a colleague or fellow parent/carer who’d benefit. Your support helps the show reach the people who need it most.

In this powerful episode of the Able to Care Podcast, Andy Baker sits down with Ryan Kennedy, whose journey from being in care to becoming both a foster carer and social worker shines a light on resilience, reform, and real change. Ryan opens up about the reality of entering foster care, why language matters, and how lived experience can shape better practice for children today. With honesty and insight, Ryan challenges the system while offering hope for what truly works in supporting young people.

💙 Sponsored by Carers Card UK This episode is sponsored by Carers Card UK — the UK’s #1 carers card offering recognition, discounts, and a supportive community for paid and unpaid carers.

👉 Explore the benefits: Order your card today

🔗 Resources & Links Mentioned

• access exclusive courses, events & resources for carers

• Kennedy Framework – Ryan’s developing model for trauma-informed fostering (link to Ryan’s socials/website if available)

• The legacy of Victoria Climbié and reforms in children’s services

• Key concepts: trauma-informed care, ACE’s (Adverse Childhood Experiences), family time vs. contact

🧠 Three Key Messages

1. Language matters. Words like “placement” or “contact” may feel clinical to professionals but can deeply affect how children experience care.

2. Lived experience is a superpower. Ryan’s perspective as someone who has been a child in care, a foster parent, and a social worker gives unique insights into what the system misses.

3. Consistency builds trust. Beyond policies, what young people need most is a constant, safe adult who remains present—even after they “age out” of care.

⏱️ Chapter Timestamps

• 00:00 – Intro & sponsor: Carers Card UK

• 01:42 – Ryan Kennedy’s story: from child in care to carer & social worker

• 02:36 – What social workers miss in those first “safe place” moments

• 05:40 – Wearing different hats: child, foster parent, social worker

• 09:14 – Reading files as someone who once was a file

• 12:20 – How AI could reshape social work language & empathy

• 13:33 – What training doesn’t tell you: system flaws & barriers

• 16:00 – Saying no as a foster parent & setting boundaries

• 19:00 – The difference between being cared for and being understood

• 25:00 – “Placement” vs. “home” and why language shapes belonging

• 30:00 – Biggest challenges: advocating within broken systems

• 42:00 – Education struggles & supporting excluded children

• 48:00 – Facing the “care cliff” and supporting beyond 18

• 54:00 – The Kennedy Framework: safe spaces, noticing the unspoken & developing trust

• 59:00 – Closing thoughts & staying connected

🎯 Why Listen to This Episode?

• Hear the reality of care from someone who’s lived it on all sides

• Learn practical insights for carers, teachers & professionals working with children

• Understand how language and consistency can change a child’s sense of safety

• Be inspired by Ryan’s Kennedy Framework for trauma-informed care

🔗 Connect with Us

📲 Instagram: @AbleTraining 📲 LinkedIn: Able Training 📲 TikTok: @AbleToCarePodcast 🌐 Website: AbleHub.uk

👉 If Ryan’s story resonated, please follow, rate & share so more carers, teachers and families can learn from this vital conversation.

In this solo episode, Andy Baker breaks down the early indicators of distress—the subtle “bottom of the rollercoaster” cues most of us miss before behaviour escalates. Whether you’re a parent, teacher or carer, you’ll learn how to recognise micro-signals, why early intervention is everything, and exactly what to say and do in those first crucial moments to prevent crisis, protect relationships, and build trust.

💙 Sponsored by Carers Card UK Proudly sponsored by Carers Card UK

Are you caring for someone, paid or unpaid? You could be missing out on thousands of pounds in discounts. Carers Card UK offers:

• ID card with emergency info access
• Exclusive discounts on gyms, days out, electrical goods, and more
• Access to a wellbeing hub, Carers Circle tool, and mobile app

All for less than the price of a box of chocolates per year. 🎟️ Order your card today

🔗 Resources & Links Mentioned

• Targeting the Positive with Behaviours That Challenge

• Think Bike campaign video – awareness analogy Andy references

• Key concepts: Polyvagal Theory, Window of Tolerance, Crisis Development Model, Co-regulation

🧠 Three Key Messages

1. Early beats urgent. Escalation rarely comes “out of the blue.” Spot baseline deviations early (posture, tone, fidgeting) to intervene before the “click-click-click” climb.

2. Respond, don’t react. Use calm tone, gentle noticing (“I see you tapping—are you okay?”) and small adjustments to redirect stress.

3. Connection is the brake. Empathy, predictability and co-regulation calm faster than control or confrontation.

⏱️ Chapter Timestamps

• 00:00 – Hook: invisible escalation & the rollercoaster metaphor

• 00:28 – Sponsor: Carers Card UK

• 01:49 – Why “out of the blue” behaviour is a myth

• 02:10 – Escalation model: intervene before the climb

• 03:02 – Cinema story: how timing changes the outcome

• 04:32 – Why late intervention is harder (polyvagal & tolerance window)

• 06:28 – Knowing a person’s baseline to spot deviations

• 07:05 – Universal & individual micro-cues (fidgeting, eye contact, silence, self-soothing)

• 09:34 – Don’t “park” early signs—proactive saves time & safety

• 11:04 – Scripts: what to say without provoking

• 12:28 – Co-regulation & calming tools (breaks, activities, sensory adjustments)

• 13:52 – Awareness vs. “code white” autopilot

• 14:43 – Regulation as a skill, not defiance

• 15:30 – Challenge: spot your “bottom of the rollercoaster” cues

• 16:40 – Classroom example + Think Bike analogy

• 18:01 – Wrap up

🎯 Why Listen to This Episode?

• Learn how to spot escalation before crisis

• Get scripts & strategies you can use right away at home, school, or care settings

• Protect relationships and trust while preventing harm

🔗 Connect with Us

📲 Instagram: @AbleTraining 📲 LinkedIn: Able Training 📲 TikTok: @AbleToCarePodcast 🌐 Website: AbleHub.uk

👉 If this episode resonated, please follow, rate & share so more carers, teachers and parents can benefit.