When people think about care homes, they often picture routines, medication, and maybe a bit of bingo. But what if the most important part of care is the part we can’t easily measure?

In this episode, I’m joined by Surraya Sadr, Head of Wellbeing and Lifestyle at Mindful Care, to unpack what wellbeing in care settings really means - especially for those supporting people living with dementia.

We explore the emotional reality of being the person everyone leans on, why wellbeing roles are often misunderstood or undervalued, and how small everyday moments - not big activities - are what truly shape quality of life.

If you’re a parent, teacher, caregiver or support professional, this conversation will challenge how you think about behaviour, connection and what “good care” actually looks like.

Surraya brings a powerful blend of experience across youth work, occupational therapy and dementia care.

• Former Dementia Care Coach in the NHS

• Led wellbeing across 40+ care homes and 50 staff

• Finalist at the National Dementia Awards (Best Wellbeing Lead)

• Now Head of Wellbeing & Lifestyle at Mindful Care

Her work focuses on improving dementia care, staff wellbeing, and practical, person-centred approaches that actually work in real settings.

• Mindful Care: https://mindful-care.co.uk/

• Wellbeing Forum (April 2026 – Anglia Ruskin University, Cambridge)

• Email Surraya: https://able-training.co.uk/podcast

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abletraining/

• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/abletrainingexperience

• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/able-training-ltd-/

• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@abletocarepodcast

If someone doesn’t feel safe, connected or understood, no amount of task-based care will meet their needs.

The conversations, the noticing, the small adjustments - this is where real care happens, but it’s rarely measured or valued.

Burnout doesn’t arrive loudly. It creeps in through disconnection, anxiety and emotional exhaustion - and many carers ignore it until it’s too late.

00:00 – Introduction 02:30 – What wellbeing roles really involve (beyond bingo) 06:00 – Why dementia care requires emotional skill, not just tasks 10:30 – Why wellbeing staff are undervalued in care homes 14:30 – Surraya’s journey into wellbeing and dementia care 18:30 – What’s improving in care homes (and what still isn’t) 22:30 – Signs you might be heading towards burnout 26:00 – Compassion fatigue and emotional load in care roles 30:00 – Why wellbeing fails in some care settings 34:00 – Adapting activities for different cognitive needs 38:00 – A real example of turning a struggling team around 41:00 – Why mental wellbeing is so hard to measure 45:00 – Realistic self-care (not bubble baths) 51:00 – How families can support wellbeing teams 55:00 – Common challenges shared in wellbeing forums 58:00 – Rethinking the “activities coordinator” role 1:02:00 – Final message: your worth as a caregiver

If you’ve ever:

• Felt like behaviour is misunderstood or labelled too quickly

• Been the one “holding everything together” for others

• Struggled with burnout, guilt or emotional exhaustion

• Wondered how to better support someone living with dementia

• Questioned why care systems focus more on tasks than people

This episode will give you a different lens.

Not a perfect framework. Not a checklist.

But a more honest, human understanding of what care really requires.

Surraya said something that stuck:

“It’s not about big activities. It’s about the everyday moments.”

And maybe that’s the challenge for all of us.

Are we focusing on what’s visible… Or what actually matters?

Most behaviour doesn’t “come out of nowhere”. Whether you’re caring for a loved one with dementia, supporting a child with big emotions, or working in health, education or social care, there is nearly always a click, click, click moment before things escalate. In this episode, Andy Baker breaks down how to recognise early signs of distress, why logic often fails when the nervous system is activated, and what to do in those crucial seconds before behaviour takes off.

For caregivers, teachers and parents, this episode offers practical tools for calmer responses, safer environments and stronger relationships – without slipping into control, shame or endless firefighting.

If you ever find yourself thinking:

• “It came out of nowhere”,

• “They go from 0–100 instantly”, or

• “Nothing I say gets through”…

…this episode gives you a different lens. You’ll learn how physiology drives escalation, how to reduce triggers you can influence, and how small adjustments can prevent big incidents. This is for anyone who wants fewer meltdowns, calmer homes, more regulated classrooms, and safer care settings.

1. Behaviour escalates physiologically long before it escalates visibly – if we miss the cues, we miss the opportunity.

2. Connection beats correction in the early stages – logic only works once the nervous system feels safe.

3. If you want fewer “big” incidents, get obsessed with the “small signals” – curiosity is the most underused de-escalation tool.

• Andy’s book Targeting the Positive with Behaviours That Challenge

• Able Training courses on behaviour management and de-escalation: https://able-training.co.uk/podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abletraining/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/abletrainingexperience LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/able-training-ltd-/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@abletocarepodcast