In this episode of the Able To Care Podcast Andy Baker challenges one of the most common assumptions in caregiving and education: that quiet, compliant behaviour means a child or adult is okay. From classrooms to care homes, we often confuse a lack of disruption with emotional wellbeing—but the two aren't always connected.

This episode explores how masking, compliance, and people-pleasing can be signs of distress, not progress. It’s a must-listen for parents, teachers, and carers who want to better understand what behaviour really tells us—and when silence might be a red flag.

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• Able Hub – Free tools, training, and community for carers, parents, and educators

• Andy Baker’s Book: Targeting the Positive with Behaviours That Challenge

• Mood Monitoring Tools – Consider using apps or visual emotion charts

1. Behaviour ≠ Wellbeing – Quietness and compliance can sometimes be signs of masking or distress.

2. Check in Emotionally, Not Just Behaviourally – Emotional check-ins should be part of daily practice, not just reserved for crisis moments.

3. Masking is Not a Sign of Progress – Children and adults may learn to “be good” to avoid punishment, not because they feel safe or happy.

• [00:00] – Introduction: “She’s been so good lately…”

• [01:00] – Sponsor Message: Carers Card UK

• [02:00] – Behaviour vs. Wellbeing: What Are We Really Measuring?

• [04:00] – The Masking Effect in Trauma and Neurodivergence

• [05:30] – Real-Life Examples: When ‘Good’ Isn’t Good News

• [07:00] – What to Ask Instead of “Have They Been Good?”

• [08:00] – Emotional Check-ins: Why Staff Should Model Too

• [09:00] – Looking Beyond the Surface: Signs of Emotional Safety

• [10:00] – Final Thoughts: Moving from Behaviour to Belonging

If you work with or care for children, young people, or adults—this episode could shift your entire perspective. Andy Baker shares practical insights and powerful real-life scenarios to help you move beyond behavioural assumptions and start seeing the person underneath. Whether you're a parent, educator, or care professional, you’ll walk away better equipped to ask the right questions and support emotional wellbeing more effectively.

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If this episode made you pause and think, share it with your team, your school, or your care community. Start a conversation. Let’s build a culture of curiosity, not just compliance.

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In this compelling episode of the Able to Care podcast, I’m joined by Belinda Eddington, Executive Function Coach and founder of MindSpark CIC. Together, we unpack one of the most misunderstood and essential aspects of human development – executive functioning. From how children plan, organise and regulate emotions, to how adults can support growth through understanding, Belinda shares her passion, research and practical strategies for educators, carers and parents.

Whether you’re raising a child, working in a school, or simply trying to understand your own thinking a bit better – this episode is full of lightbulb moments.

We’re proud to be sponsored by Carers Card UK – the UK’s #1 discount card for unpaid and paid carers.

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• MindSpark CIC: Find Out More

• MindSpark Coach Training: Find Out More

• Books:

  • Smart but Scattered series – Peg Dawson

  • The Developing Mind – Dr Dan Siegel

  • The Body Keeps the Score – Bessel van der Kolk

• Via Strengths Questionnaire: www.viacharacter.org

• Andy Baker’s Book: Targeting the Positive with Behaviours That Challenge

1. Executive function is not just academic – it’s foundational. These brain-based skills shape behaviour, learning, self-regulation and relationships.

2. Understanding comes before intervention. Rather than focusing on the ‘what’, shift your mindset to ask ‘why’ – be a detective, not a judge.

3. Support builds from strength. Executive functioning challenges are real – but with compassion, coaching, and the right scaffolds, growth is absolutely possible.

00:00 – Sponsored message: Carers Card UK 01:55 – Welcome & topic introduction 02:05 – Meet Belinda: background and expertise 04:00 – What is executive functioning? Explained 07:00 – Real-world examples of executive function challenges 12:00 – How trauma, stress, and neurodivergence impact EF 18:00 – Strategies: scaffolding, coaching, metacognition 24:00 – Behaviour, mindsets, and flipping the lid 32:00 – Embedding executive function into school culture 40:00 – Belinda’s research in schools and findings 51:00 – Strength-based conversations and personalised support 54:00 – Final reflections and why this matters

• You’ll finally understand what executive functioning means – and why it matters for every child and adult.

• Belinda offers practical examples for supporting children who struggle with memory, planning, or emotional control.

• If you work in schools, care, or parenting – this episode will help you spot challenges earlier and respond more compassionately.

• Plus, we explore how your own regulation as a professional or parent influences your ability to support others.

Follow Able to Care for more compassionate conversations that empower carers, educators and parents:

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We’re always told to “catch them being good”—but what about the people doing the catching? In this solo episode of the Able to Care podcast, host Andy Baker shines a spotlight on the forgotten ingredient of exceptional care: the carers, teachers, support workers, and parents doing the daily work of holding everything together. If we want positive outcomes, we must nurture positive environments—and that starts with recognising and valuing the people behind the care.

🎧 This is a free, listener-focused resource for anyone who wants to build stronger, more compassionate cultures from the inside out.

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• PERMA Model by Dr. Martin Seligman

• Self-Determination Theory (Deci & Ryan)

• Targeting the Positive by Andy Baker

1. Recognition isn’t optional—it’s fuel for performance, morale, and retention.

2. Motivation thrives when staff feel autonomous, competent, and connected.

3. Positive team culture is contagious—model it, and it spreads to every pupil, resident, and family.

00:00 – Catching Them Being Good: Why it matters more than you think 01:54 – Sponsored Message: Carers Card UK 02:15 – The True Cost of Neglecting Carers 03:02 – Intrinsic Motivation & Wellbeing Models 04:26 – Seligman, PERMA & Self-Determination Theory Explained 05:04 – Emotional Contagion and Organisational Culture 06:27 – Recognising Effort, Not Just Perfection 07:11 – Team Practices That Actually Work 08:21 – Peer Recognition & Praise With Meaning 09:13 – The Ripple Effect of Positive Culture 09:37 – Final Reflection & Your Next Step

If you're a parent, teacher, or care provider, this episode is your reminder that you matter too. You can’t pour from an empty cup, and culture starts with what you model. Whether you lead a classroom, manage a shift, or support someone at home, Andy’s insight will leave you equipped—and inspired—to build teams and families that thrive on recognition, not just responsibility.

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