
Horde
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Compra ahora por $24.95
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Narrado por:
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Nick Jermyn
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De:
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Ian Thomas Healy
Orcs used to be a fearsome fighting force, and the unleashing of the Horde brought terror to humans, elves, and dwarves time and time again over the centuries. Nowadays, there aren't any more Ultimate Evils, necromancers, or dark wizards left to hire the Horde. Paug Blumpkin is smart for an orc (rather like saying he's smart for a box of hair). He's bored of training with the rest of the Horde for a war that will never come, and he's definitely tired of polishing his helmet. So he decides to set off in search of adventure, bringing along his cheerfully idiotic brother Milph, who has a regular habit of forgetting his pants. When they mug a wizard while he's answering Nature's call, they discover a treasure map (conveniently hidden in his elven pornography), and thus begins their very own Quest Perilous.
There's a powerful magical artifact halfway around the world, and Paug decides he's going to get the Tome of Unknowable Mysteries first. When he learns a celebrated human hero is after the same booty, the race begins. With Milph using the stolen wizard's wand (badly), a barbarian warrior-woman named Petunia bringing the muscle, a lousy gambler named Hodak the Inconsequential (who happens to be 14th in line for the throne), and a halfling thief named Gilpin with a chip on his shoulder, the companions head out into the great untamed wilderness, where death lurks behind every tree (and occasionally is the tree itself).
©2017 Ian Thomas Healy (P)2018 Ian Thomas HealyListeners also enjoyed...




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I received this book free in exchange for a honest review
Morality rating- This book abounds with Sex, and Sexually both explicit and implied, along with violence, language, and bathroom humor.
Tolkien Rolled Over
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Loved the old D&D feel of the story.
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"Bears..."
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This book was given to me for free at my request and I provided this voluntary review.
Fun
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So much so that I had to rewind to get back to where I fell asleep listening. Narrator was the perfect choice to perform this story.
This audio was given to me free, and I voluntarily gave this review.
Hoping there's more
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The narration was amazing with so many different voices.
The story was so much fun and full of lots of unexpected turns. Never before had I wanted to consider cheering for the Orcs and now I want more, much much more. This book is fantastic!
So much FUN!!!
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I'm glad to have been wrong. Horde was actually a lot of fun. The adventure itself was engaging, the characters were amusing, and the jokes were, though admittedly pretty dumb, still pretty hilarious. I feel like the book successfully grabbed me and my standards and dragged us both down in the mud to meet it. I came out a bit messy, a bit humbled, and chuckling like a fool.
I did have some issues with a few choices the author made - like Elvish just being French - but it didn't come up often enough to really grate on my nerves. All in all, I had a great time.
I'm not sure I'd pick up Ian Thomas Healy's usual stuff (again, not my cup of tea), but I'd absolutely be down for another fantasy romp. I'd even want to get in on doing the cover illustration for one.
Unexpectedly and Surprisingly Enjoyable
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El oyente recibió este título gratis
The performer did an incredible job as well- each character with their own recognizable voice and manner that really added another layer to the experience. I can’t wait to hear more of Ian’s work- especially the delightful fantasy he is so gifted with.
A ribald and rollicking good time!
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It is a well written story about two orcs who are brothers. One brother, Paug, is considered smart and can read. The other brother, Milph, is not. One night Paug decides to set out on an adventure and Milph decides to tag along. At the beginning of their travels, the orc brothers come upon a wizard and while the wizard is going to the bathroom, they rob him of his wand, money and a map. They then meet Hodak the Inconsequential, who helps them understand that the map is a treasure map. So, they gather a few more companions and all set out to follow the map.
This was a well paced and written light-hearted fantasy adventure with characters who were interesting, likeable, humorous and a bit obsessed with "pleasures of the flesh." I really enjoyed it but my only complaint - the ending. It seemed a bit sudden and wrapped everything up in a bow. It is a complete story [no cliffhanger] but, there could easily be a sequel as these characters deal with the aftermath of their adventure.
The narrator, Nick Jermyn, did a good job voicing all the different characters - monsters, humans, elves, orcs, dwarves, etc. He enhanced the fun adventorous world in which all of these characters live.
Enjoyable Fantasy Adventure
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Very fun book
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