Tom Felton Shares His Gratitude for Growing Up in the Wizarding World | Audible.com
Tom Felton Shares His Gratitude for Growing Up in the Wizarding World
Looking back on his experience playing Draco Malfoy, the actor and writer shares his other creative outlets, his mental health journey, and what he’s learned about himself from writing “Beyond the Wand.”
Note: Text has been edited and does not match audio exactly.
Katie O’Connor: Hi listeners, I'm Audible Editor Katie O'Connor, and today I'm excited to be speaking with actor Tom Felton, best known for his years spent playing Draco Malfoy in the Harry Potter films, and the author of the new memoir . Welcome, Tom.
Tom Felton: Hi. Thanks very much. Nice to be here.
KO: We're so happy to be having you here. So, I want to get right into the memoir. Why now? Why was now the right time to sit down and reflect and write your story?
TF: Well, there was never really a timeline, to be completely honest. And it was never really a sort of endeavor with the goal of writing a book. This has been in the works now for quite a few years. It was more really, it was a product of going to Comic Cons mostly, and getting a chance to actually be asked a lot of questions about early filming days and how we did a lot of the things, quidditch, et cetera. That actually allowed me to start going over my own memories and sort of fleshing them out. And I'd find myself telling five-minute, slightly anecdotal answers to questions and then thinking about it later on, after the Q&A was over, and sort of remembering lots of little details that would probably be lost in the ever-fading memory. I just started scribbling them down, really.
Mostly, it was very short two- or three-page stories. Again, mostly just so I remembered them because I knew, as time does, it tends to blend things or blur things into one. So, I thought it was quite nice to have all these little sections of my life. And it was really only sort of in the last year thatEbury [Tom's UK publisher] and I have been working together and structuring that with a lot of skillful help. They've managed to turn these—and I mean, it literally was a binder of scrappy notes written on hotel pieces of paper that they leave by the side of your bed, et cetera—to sort of start compiling it.
It took a little bit of convincing, to be honest, that it would actually end up reading as a book. But once I put things in a timeline, and once I sort of realized where there is a start, middle, and end, it became more and more obvious that there actually was a story so far. You know, it's far from an autobiography, I've only just turned 35, so I like to think there's still some giddy-up left in the tank.
KO: Some time.
TF: Yeah. But it's been a really nice and cathartic process, reminding myself of all the ins and outs and the highs and lows of the last 20-odd years.
KO: I love that this really started as you looking to connect with your fans more. I think that's great. And in listening, I found a real maturity in you and a real grace as you reflected back on certain tougher moments, particularly with your father. And I was curious if you were always that forgiving in your judgements, or if not, what allowed you to get there?
TF: I wouldn't say forgiving as if I haven't forgave him. There was never any blame, I don't think. I think the older you get, the easier it is to sort of, well, hindsight is a beautiful thing, really. Actually, writing the book, or writing down these separate stories, especially the ones that were slightly outside of the Comic Con world, really just my own personal muggle upbringing, they're just very cathartic, and it helped me understand more the bigger picture.
And as I know from yourself, Katie, what it must be like to have a handful of rowdy little ones all wanting different things at different times, and to be expected as a parent, or as a brother, or as a mentor to assume that they know what to do perfectly at every moment is a bit absurd. So yeah, I really enjoyed reading bits and pieces, about my brothers especially, to them and seeing them smile and laugh rather than throw me off the couch or anything like that.
KO: [Laughs]
TF: Yeah, it's actually been a really nice sort of family experience as well.
KO: That's great. It does sound like you guys have a nice relationship. And to your point, hopefully this means that in 20, 30 years or so, my kids will have the benefits of hindsight as well.
TF: Yeah, I'm sure they will.
KO: So, you share toward the end of Beyond the Wand that part of the reason why you wrote this is to help others who have had mental health struggles. And you're very vulnerable about your own, and candid about some of the struggles your brothers faced as well. I admire you for going against, as you say, that traditional British male trait of not expressing one’s emotions. And now I'm sure it's easier if you're between jobs to sort of help prioritize that mental health, but when you're on set or on stage and having those long days, how do you find that balance?
TF: I think it changes for everyone all the time, really. Just because you found a mental tool that helps one day, it doesn't necessarily mean it will work the next. I mean, there are more obvious ones that I know people can connect to, such as daily meditations, or daily exercise is a classic. Swimming, to me, is a huge one. Just getting my head under the water, preferably sea water, does massive resetting for me.
But I have the ultimate tool to remind me that I'm here and I'm now, and that's a dog called Willow. Because she doesn't seem to care what day of the week it is, or what the weather is, or who you are, or where you come from, she just wants to celebrate life in every single way possible. So, that's the main thing. I love being around animals, full stop, but obviously my dog's got a bit of a special place for me. So, I bring her wherever I can. Although she can be a little bit of a pain in the ass at times because of her boisterousness, it's always worth bringing her.
That, and I find instruments, as long as I have an instrument somewhere nearby, in fact there's one to the right.
KO: Hey [laughs].
TF: And there's one to the left, just in case.
KO: Whichever way you turn, you're covered.
TF: Idle hands, I find, don't help at all, so it's nice to keep the hands busy. I often take a ukulele and a book on set to keep the hands busy.
KO: I think that's great. As a creative person, you have these other creative outlets to fulfill yourself in those moments.
TF: Yeah, I think people often forget, especially making a film, that sometimes it's very, very long days and there's lots of gaps in between being the character. I mean, for the 10 years that I spent playing Draco, or 11 years, I probably was only having to be him for a handful of weeks combined. So, there's lots of time for Tom to explore things that he enjoys. And also got him into trouble, such as skateboarding on set, et cetera.
KO: Your behind-the-scenes stories were great. I laughed at so many of them. So, of course, you're no stranger to performing, but I'm curious what it was like to perform your memoir? And if while you were performing, did you find yourself wanting to tweak any lines that you'd written as you were going along?
TF: Not really. I tell you what, it was an experience. I'm not sure if you've heard, but it took a lot—well, not a lot longer, but it took longer than I expected it to. Because it was one thing writing it all down. It was one thing compiling it. It was another thing sort of filtering through it and editing it into what I thought was a good sort of package. Reading it out was actually, it was two things. It was either hilarious, as in I kept laughing at what my brothers did or how I reacted. The first chapter took me, I think, twice as long as it should have done, because I found myself giggling quite a bit.
KO: I mean, even the names of your chapters, how each chapter has an alternate name. There's humor just throughout this book, it's great.
TF: Yeah, well, the key thing there for me is that I write a lot, just in general. And I write very conversation-style. So, it's supposed to sound like me and it's supposed to sound like it's my voice talking to you, rather than a third party. That's why I had to do the audiobook. I think even when the idea was proposed that someone else might do it, I thought, “No, no, no, no, no. It has to be me.” So, I was either giggling too much or I got quite emotional, especially reading about how much my mom did for me in my early years. So, I had to sort of find this new audiobook Tom, where he was able to read it without getting too attached to the fact that this was my life.
"I had to sort of find this new audiobook Tom, where he was able to read it without getting too attached to the fact that this was my life."
KO: Right.
TF: So, the producer was quite often asking me, because he couldn't see me but he could hear me, and he was going, "You all right? You all right in there?" And I'm sort of, "I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine. Let's go again. Let's go again." So, it took a little longer than I expected, but it was enormous fun. And it was actually a really, really nice way of not finishing off the journey, but finishing off the writing process. Like, “This is in the can.” And no, luckily, I didn't want to change anything. So, that was good.
KO: That's good. And I'm so glad you did perform it. It's a gift to all of us listeners to get to hear it from you directly.
TF: Well, thank you.
KO: So, circling back to acting, you say in your memoir that when people ask you about acting, you encourage them to be childlike. I loved this. You said, to quote, "Separate yourself from the tedious analysis of adults. Forget about good and bad." And I was curious if you find that this advice applies to other areas of your life as well?
TF: Definitely. Definitely. Acting is an obvious one to say, "Go and play," because I mean, sometimes if you're dressing up like a pirate or pretending to be the Fairy Godmother, then the nature of play, you're going to have to be playful to sort of get into that. But I think it goes into all walks of life. In many ways, we're all acting to some degree. I'm sure there's many a restaurant that I've been to where the waiters didn't particularly want to be there or bankers behind a desk that didn't particularly want to be there, but they put on a bloody big smile and they enjoyed it. And you know the ones who you sort of bond with, because there is a playful element and people aren't just sort of treating everything as just a mission of getting from A to B.
And I think—sorry, back to your point—more so is that, if you're writing a song because you want people to like the song, it's probably not the best. Same as dancing—people who dance to get other people to clap them is very different from seeing that guy who's dancing his life out on the dance floor, possibly terrible dad moves—hard cut to me—but he's having the time of his life and he's enjoying it.
And especially in today's world, I think people put far too much emphasis on having to be good or bad at something. So, the more element of playfulness, that you're just doing it because you simply love to do it, I think people value that now more than ever.
KO: Yeah. And hopefully it can allow people to live a more authentic life too, right? Rather than succumbing to the pressures of everyone around you.
TF: Yeah, it's the nature of the beast. Obviously, if you perform—you know, I've just finished doing my first play, and the first few weeks of rehearsals were absolutely terrifying. I thought there is no way I'm going to be able to do this, even though I'd known, I'd already agreed, that in another two weeks’ time, I was going to have to perform this to hundreds of people each night. The reward really was performing, because by that time we sort of managed to get it together. So, it's not always the case of just dancing in your own bedroom just because it's for you, sometimes it is about getting together with other people and creating things that you didn't think that you were capable of doing.
I think it's more a case of, if what you do is something that you love doing, and you're not hurting anyone, then you should just do it for yourself, and other people will quickly warm to that energy.
"I think people put far too much emphasis on having to be good or bad at something. So, the more element of playfulness, that you're just doing it because you simply love to do it, I think people value that now more than ever."
KO: Yeah. And congratulations as well, for your first turn there on the West End. Did you ultimately enjoy it and do you think you'll be going back to the stage? Do you prefer film sets, do you think?
TF: I'm an author now so—
KO: Oh, I'm sorry, yeah.
TF: [Laughs].
KO: Yeah, the multi-hyphenate, let's not forget.
TF: Uh no, thank you. I did really enjoy it. It was a very, very different experience than anything I'd ever done before. Certainly different from the nativity plays that I did as a six-year-old [laughs].
KO: But your teacher back then, right, saw such promise in you, that's what led you down this path in one way.
TF: Yes, yes, I'm sure I didn't do a great job as Snowman Number 3, but I'm definitely very grateful. I think that's another thing, isn't it, is that we sort of forget that it's not a case of suddenly turning it on. There's a lot of years of doing less than good stuff and then it develops over the years, hopefully.
I'll definitely come back to the stage for sure. The camaraderie and the live element is obviously very, very different from a film set. Usually on films it takes a lot longer to get it done and it's a real marathon. And also, the main thing for me as an actor, is that all my life I've been trained, or training, in something where you learn your lines a few weeks before, or a few days before, or a few hours before if they've changed them on the day, which they often do. You turn up, you assess what you need to do, where you need to stand, who you're acting with. You probably get a few hours, maybe a whole day to get that scene done. And then once it's done, that's it, you never repeat it ever again. The lines have gone in your head and then they're gone. And then two years later, they show it to you on a screen and that's just sort of the process.
Versus, this is essentially one long scene. It's an hour and a half long. And there's only four of us on stage, so it took a lot of memorizing. But essentially coming back every night and just working on this one element of your craft, and this one character. So you become very, very attached to not only the character but also all of the other actors that you work with. It's very intense, and right now, I'm really glad to be focusing on how people receive the book, but it's definitely something that I will look forward to going back and doing one day.
KO: Yeah, it sounds amazing but I'm sure exhausting. And also, an incredible bonding experience. But speaking of bonding experiences, you shared so many wonderful memories from your time working on the Harry Potter films. And I was curious if you had a favorite film in the series that you worked on and if you do, is it a different favorite from your experience of reading or listening to them?
TF: I do remember listening to them early on. I think it was Stephen Fry that did the early ones. I remember the second book. I remember reading the second book or hearing the second book and that being the one that turned something that I thought wasn't for me—"Boy under the what? Lives under a cupboard under the stairs? No thanks.” It wasn't really for Tom the cool, or Tom who thought he was cool, 11-year-old. But by Chamber of Secrets, I'd started to warm up to it. And I think actually it was my favorite film. I haven't really watched the films that much since, but I remember watching the second film and thoroughly enjoying Alan Rickman and Kenneth Branagh together. I thought they were brilliant. And just the prospect of the basilisk was positively terrifying. And Potter and I got to have a little dueling action in the Great Hall, which has always been one of the funner stunt memories I have. So yeah, I'd probably have to go with that.
KO: And correct me if I'm wrong, I think it's the film where you got introduced to your onscreen dad as well?
TF: Yes.
KO: Jason Isaacs. And I loved getting to learn more about your special relationship with him outside of the films.
TF: Yes, well said. That was the film that I met dad, yeah. Jason is, I mean, he's obviously more of a best friend now than he is a dad, but he's always had a sort of a paternal influence on me. He's definitely been a lot better of a dad than Lucius was to Draco. He didn't hit me once [laughs]. So that's a result.
KO: Yeah, you can literally only go up.
TF: That's true. And yeah, we often jest and joke, but also, professionally, he's just been incredibly encouraging. He went to come see the play not so long ago, and to have his praise was very humbling. And I'll look forward to calling him Dad Two for probably the rest of my life.
KO: That's wonderful. So, another special relationship, I know everyone ships your relationship with Emma Watson, your co-star who played Hermione Granger, and she pens the foreword to your memoir. So, what was that conversation like? How did that come to be? Was that your idea? Was that her idea?
TF: I think it was a bit of both, really. Emma is, obviously, we've been best friends now in life for a long, long time. And we've also just, we've sort of seen each other quite a bit since filming has finished, whereas it's always been the nature of the beast that we're in different corners of the earth at the same time. But Emma and I have seen each other quite a bit. And she was actually a huge—I remember coming to her when Ebury and I first started talking about turning my scraps of paper into a book. And I was a bit scared, to be honest with you. I thought, “Oh, crikey, this is a bit too much.” She was a massive kick in the right direction, really, to say you should do this. She read a lot of the early stuff and she thought that not only would fans get a kick out of it, but she also was very encouraging for me to write down all of the stuff, not just the fluffy, happy memories, but all the ins and outs. So, that kind of set me into a new gear, where I was like, “Right, fine, if I'm going to do this, then bollocks to it, I'm going to just tell the whole story.” I thought, “Let's go for it. Let's really write down everything and see if it works.” And it did.
And then she was basically the first person I sent it to. And she was very, very, very encouraging and then, yeah, I sort of sheepishly asked—I think it just came to me at the moment—I said, "Would you write the foreword?" And she said it with no hesitation, so I'm very grateful for that, and yeah, it's cool to have her as part of the book.
KO: That's great. And one thing, actually, that I just was thinking about while you were talking, some of these interactions that you two have had over the years with fans, right, you share some interesting interactions that you have had, where people really conflate the character of Draco with you as Tom and sort of started going after you about your treatment of Harry and some not nice things that you've done. And I was curious if you enjoy playing sort of the bad guy, the villain, for the layers that are always a part of those characters, or if you do like stepping into a good guy type of role?
"I knew exactly what Draco would do in every situation, which was quite nice."
TF: I think it depends really. Personally, it's about playing something that's as far removed from me as possible. If I was playing Tom, then I think I would second-guess everything, but I knew exactly what Draco would do in every situation, which was quite nice. I think Alan Rickman and Jason Isaacs would agree that playing those parts is somewhat more juicy. I mean, Alan Rickman was fantastic because he refused to break character even when these kids were coming in to view the set. So yeah, I always thought that I don't particularly—well, I definitely don't see Draco as a villain, I just see him as poor, well, not misunderstood child, but—
KO: A victim of his circumstances maybe?
TF: Yeah, a victim of crap parenting.
KO: Yeah.
TF: And not having any good influences around him. Not to say that he was a hero in disguise. I think he was always going to be a bit of a slimy git, but humanizing these people and not making them just, you know, Voldemort—
KO: One dimensional. Yeah.
TF: Yeah. Exactly. So, I think that was always an element of characters that I've enjoyed bringing if I can.
KO: That's super special, yeah. Did you learn anything about yourself while either working on the memoir or even while performing it?
TF: Yeah, lots. It's hard to put it into a sort of soundbite to be honest, as far as what I learned. I think I really enjoyed the patience that's been required, and I've really been grateful working with Ebury on this, because there's never really been a timeline where they've said, “Right, let’s get it done.” It's literally been me going, “Oh yeah, I remember these little bits and pieces” and slowly going through my own memory bank, but at my own pace. But also, it's a lot easier to think of something; it's a lot longer and harder to actually write it down. So, I've had to be a bit patient with it.
And I think, ultimately, it's just made me—I consider myself to have been always grateful, but it's just made me more grateful for my personal situation, as far as my friends and my family and what they've all gone through. But again, mostly, to the fans. I remember finishing it and one of the questions from the editors was, “Who do you want to dedicate it to?” And I just didn't really have anyone off the top of my head, other than my mom or my dad, or my dog [laughs]. And then quickly, it just hit me. I was like no, this is for the fans. This is purely for them. And whether they've seen the films or not doesn't really make too much of a difference. Hopefully, it's a nice tribute to how much I appreciate everyone that's got us here and continues to support the films, and me.
KO: I think that's beautiful, and I think your fans will really feel that too.
TF: Cool.
KO: Yeah, I mean, as a fan, I so enjoyed it and I think you hit the nail on the head with your conversational style. It really did just feel like you were listening to stories from a friend, and sort of had you bringing us along that ride. It was great.
TF: Well, that's music to my ears.
KO: Good. You just wrapped up your stage work. I know you're about to embark on a tour for this book as well, which is super exciting. But I'm curious, what is next for you? What do you hope your next project is?
TF: Well, I've got a very hungry Labrador downstairs, so I imagine she's going to need walking today. Nothing really in mind. I've been lucky that the play finished just in time for me to not only just prepare for the book tour but actually to enjoy it. I've never done a book tour before. But I know I'm going to get a chance to meet a lot of the fans that have gotten me here and I'll get to share bits and pieces from the book, but also sort of get the chance to say thank you face to face. So yeah, I'm going to enjoy the next month or two and I look forward to hearing what everyone thinks.
KO: That's great. Well, have a lot of fun on your tour. Thank you so much for your time. I really appreciate it.
TF: No, thank you, Katie. Send my love to everyone at Audible, and I look forward to hearing the reviews.
KO: I will. I think they're going to be great. Spoiler alert, I think they're going to be great [laughs].
TF: Thanks, Katie.
KO: And listeners, you can get Beyond the Wand, written and performed by Tom Felton, right now on Audible.
