To understand the self-deprecating magic of Jenny Lawson's writing, one need only to glimpse the subtitle of her hit 2015 memoir, Furiously Happy, which reads: "A Funny Book About Horrible Things." Lawson approaches heavy topics like depression, anxiety, chronic illness, and trauma with heart, honesty, and a sense of humor that never once undermines the pain or isolation of struggling. Rather, she fosters a sense of camaraderie with her listeners, encouraging them to embrace and care for all parts of themselves—even those they'd most prefer to forget.
Lawson's memoirs serve as a reminder to the more than one billion people globally living with mental health disorders that they are not alone, they are not broken, and they are never beyond hope. It's fitting, then, that the author has turned her unvarnished vulnerability and irreverent wit to the well-being and self-development space with How to Be Okay When Nothing Is Okay, offering listeners not only recollections from her own life but guidance on coping, creativity, and community-building. I spoke with Lawson about what inspired her to collect and share the tools and tricks she's used throughout the years, the most terrifying thing about recording her own audiobooks, and how we can take care of ourselves when the light at the end of the tunnel looks dim.
Alanna McAuliffe: Wielding humor and heart-wrenching honesty in equal measure, your previous memoirs Let’s Pretend This Never Happened, Furiously Happy, and Broken (in the Best Possible Way) all meditated on themes of mental health, life’s awkward moments and true absurdities, and surviving in spite of it all. Your newest listen follows suit, with one caveat; How to Be Okay When Nothing is Okay shifts genres from autobiography to well-being and personal development. Why did you opt to not only share personal stories but actionable advice and coping mechanisms in this book?
Jenny Lawson: When my kid went off to college a few years ago, I had this fear that I hadn’t taught them everything they needed to know, and so I started putting together all the life hacks I’ve learned from my many mistakes and struggles so that I could pass it on to them. I’ve been collecting these tools myself for decades to help with anxiety, depression, focus, ADHD, creativity, memory, and so many more, and it quickly turned into a book that I’d been accidentally writing for years.
I kept thinking how much this book would have helped me when I was younger, and that’s how it came to be. Ironically, I recently gave a finished copy to my kid and they were like, “This looks great but I have no time to read right now,” which is understandable. This is exactly why audiobooks exist.
In How to Be Okay, you assert that “I’ll never apologize for throwing out lifejackets.” Thank you for continuing to lend your voice to eliminating the stigma surrounding mental illness and neurodiversity. How did you first come to share your own story with such vulnerability, and why does it feel so essential to keep narratives and open dialogues about mental well-being going?
I started blogging almost 20 years ago when people weren’t as open about their mental health. I was writing a parenting blog for The Houston Chronicle and it was very irreverent and funny, and when I was really struggling with a depression and could barely function I would publish things I’d written in brighter days, but it felt like such a lie.
Eventually, I decided to be honest about the fact that I was struggling, and I was shocked to see so many people respond with “I thought it was just me.” We are so much less alone than we feel, particularly when depression is telling us such cunning lies. I’ve been saved by people who tell me that I’ve helped to save them. For every lifejacket I’ve thrown out, I’ve been thrown one as well. I feel really lucky.
You’ve narrated all your books thus far, bringing authenticity (and pitch-perfect comedic timing!) to your recollections and reflections. What is the process of recording like for you?
It’s terrifying, exhilarating, exhausting, and wonderful. When I’m recording, I imagine I’m talking to a friend out there in the darkness and that way it’s less scary, and I think a little more authentic.
One of the most intimidating things that comes from recording an audiobook is that I read more than I talk and so there are SO MANY words that I mispronounce that the audiobook producer points out as I’m reading. I lost track of most of them, but one that sticks out from this book is that I’ve always pronounced Maya Angelou’s last name like it rhymes with “clue” when apparently it’s supposed to be pronounced like “low.” WHAT THE HELL?
For real—Google it. There’s a recording of her pronouncing it. And so I pronounce it the correct way on the audiobook, but I’m certain most of the people listening are going to say, “Does she not know how to pronounce Maya Angelou’s name right? What a weirdo.”
With the Nothing Is Okay portion of your title, you nod to both internal struggles (like the consuming doubts of anxiety or the vicious lies of depression) and external factors alike. On the topic of the latter, you embrace happiness as a radical act, writing, “Laughter and joy give us the fuel and energy that we need to keep fighting and to love life enough to want to fight for it. Never begrudge yourself delight in a world that wants you to give up.” It’s a moment of great uncertainty and hardship for so many. Is there any advice you can give to stay hopeful in a world that sometimes feels relentlessly bleak?
There are so many more compassionate and kind people in the world who have your back than you could ever imagine. It’s just hard to see them because the awful people are louder and (sadly) often have so much more power than they deserve. The hateful people want you distracted, exhausted, and ready to give up, and that’s one reason why it’s so important to take care of yourself and feed yourself delight whenever you can so that you have the energy to fight for yourself and for others.
It reminds us why we’re fighting in the first place: because everyone should feel safe and have the ability to love and to find joy themselves. Look for those people who show kindness and empathy. And if you can’t find enough of them, become one yourself. It makes such a difference.
In addition to your books and writing on The Bloggess, you’re the founder of Nowhere Bookshop in San Antonio, Texas. As a bookseller, are there any recent releases you’d personally recommend? (And if you’re an audiobook listener, do you have any personal favorite stories or performances?)
There are so many great new books out now, but a few of my recent favorites were The Hong King Widow, The Red Winter, The Bewitching, and The Hounding. I also love anything Mary Roach writes, and I’m planning on making my family listen to Replaceable You on our next road trip. And if you have little ones, I highly recommend I’m So Happy You’re Here by Mychal Threets and Lorraine Nam.
And lastly, in Nothing Is Okay, you mention your proclivity for “Weird Walks,” daily outings that allow you to ground yourself with the help of life’s most peculiar beauties. Are there any standout Weird Walk discoveries you’ve made since writing the book that you’d like to share?
Yesterday, I found the strangest horizontal stacks of leaves in front of my house. They were each several feet long and I have no idea how they had been arranged so weirdly.
I sent a picture to my sister, and she suggested that Bigfoot had been eating too much fiber.
