Tell Me What You Want Audiobook By Justin J. Lehmiller cover art

Tell Me What You Want

The Science of Sexual Desire and How It Can Help You Improve Your Sex Life

 Preview
Get this deal Try for $0.00
Offer ends December 1, 2025 11:59pm PT.
Prime logo Prime members: New to Audible? Get 2 free audiobooks during trial.
Join Audible for only $0.99 a month for the first 3 months, and get a bonus $20 credit for Audible.com. Bonus credit notification will be received via email.
1 audiobook per month of your choice from our unparalleled catalog.
Listen all you want to thousands of included audiobooks, podcasts, and Originals.
Auto-renews at $14.95/mo after 3 months. Cancel anytime.
Pick 1 audiobook a month from our unmatched collection.
Listen all you want to thousands of included audiobooks, Originals, and podcasts.
Access exclusive sales and deals.
Premium Plus auto-renews for $14.95/mo after 30 days. Cancel anytime.

Tell Me What You Want

By: Justin J. Lehmiller
Narrated by: Justin J. Lehmiller
Get this deal Try for $0.00

$14.95/mo after 3 months. Cancel anytime. Offers ends December 1, 2025 11:59pm PT.

$14.95/month after 30 days. Cancel anytime.

Buy for $22.49

Buy for $22.49

Get 3 months for $0.99 a month + $20 Audible credit
From a leading expert on human sexuality and author of the Sex and Psychology blog, an overview of sexual fantasies–and how to get more satisfaction and pleasure–based on a monumental scientific survey.

What do Americans really want when it comes to sex? And is it possible for us to get it? Justin J. Lehmiller has made it his career's ambition to answer these questions.
Tell Me What You Want offers an unprecedented look into our fantasy worlds and what they reveal about us. It helps readers to better understand their own sexual desires and how to attain them within their relationships, while also appreciating the different desires of their partners.

If we only better understood the incredible diversity of human sexual desire, we would experience less anxiety, and shame about our own sexual fantasies and better understand the needs of our partners. Ultimately, this book will help readers to enhance their sex lives. Psychology Psychology & Mental Health Relationships Fiction

Critic reviews

"Not since Nancy Friday has anyone so comprehensively and confidently blown the lid off our deep and secret desires, and revealed the extent to which we humans are endlessly inventive, flexible sexual and social strategists."—Wednesday Martin, PhD, author of the New York Times #1 bestseller Primates of Park Avenue and Untrue
"A penetrating, erotic X-ray into the hidden recesses of our sexual psyches. Illuminating and incisive, Lehmiller lays bare the gray matter of great sex."
—Ian Kerner, PhD, New York Times bestselling author of She Comes First
"Have a deep, dark sex fantasy that you've never shared with anyone? Turns out, you're not alone. Most people are afraid their sex fantasies are abnormal, but Justin Lehmiller's newest book reveals that understanding your erotic imaginings, and sharing them with your sex partner might be the best, healthiest thing you do all year. Tell Me What You Want educates, titillates, thrills and guides us down a marvelous, sexy path that ends in acceptance of those naughty secrets in the basements of our minds."
—David J. Ley, PhD, author of The Myth of Sex Addiction
"Lehmiller's smart, warm, sex-positive book breaks the toxic silence around our sexual fantasies. Reading it may be the best thing you ever do for your sex life, your relationships and your self-acceptance."—Geoffrey Miller, author of The Mating Mind, Spent, and Mate
"Lehmiller's groundbreaking book points to an alarming divide between the conversations we're having about sex and the conversation we should be having about sex. It provides the nudge we need to change the conversation--and, in doing so, to live healthier, hotter lives."—Eli J. Finkel, Professor of Psychology, Northwestern University
"Tell Me What You Want provides a scientifically grounded, non-judgmental assessment of where things stand in the sexual lives and fantasies of Americans. With an open-minded approach and fluid prose, this book is highly recommended for anyone looking for a road-map of where American sexuality is at the moment, and where many Americans would like to be going soon."—Christopher Ryan, PhD, co-author of the New York Times bestseller Sex at Dawn
"Sheds some light on the topic of fantasies, including who has them, how common they are and how they change over a person's lifetime."—Wall Street Journal
"A treasure trove of nuggets about the American sexual psyche...Engaging, provocative, and easy to read."—Dr. Michael Aaron's Psychology Today blog, "Standard Deviations"
"[An] illuminating book...Armed with research, [Dr. Lehmiller] describes our collective fantasies and helps make sense of what they might mean, tackling everything from how they're connected to personalities to how our sexual histories shape desires."—Goop
Scientific Approach • Comprehensive Information • Engaging Narration • Insightful Analysis • Normalized Desires

Highly rated for:

All stars
Most relevant
This book is an amazing scientific approach about the truth behind sexual desire. The author goes into detail about anything and everything you could ever want to know about what people desire sexually, why they desire it, and what to do about your own desires. This book will help you understand yourself, your partner(s), and American culture with regards to sexual desire. I recommend it to anyone who is open to learning about statistically common sexual fantasies and their implications on relationships. Overall, this author keeps the story very scientific and factual, being sure to address the possible shortcomings of his study, which adds significantly to his credibility as a researcher.

This book is life-changing

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
This book was so informative and exhausting if ingested in one sitting. You really dive into the minds of those around us. I will be reading again for better understanding, all in all a beautiful piece.

Wow, I am full

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
Extremely informative and helpful. Knowing sexual fantasies are normal and most everyone has them. Great information. Highly recommend

Informative

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
I heard of this work through a podcast and immediately picked up the audiobook. Wow! It did not disappoint. I listened to it all in one sitting. The author does a fantastic job of describing the research methodology and expertly breaks down the results in an entertaining way.

This book helped me understand my own fantasies and provided insight into the fantasies of my partner. I cannot recommend highly enough! If you only have one credit, use it on this book!

Insightful and entertaining!

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
I actually downloaded this thinking that I'd learn about the importance of communicating desires and/or something along those lines. I did, in a roundabout way. Groovy book regardless.

Interesting.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
Enjoyed it. The author presented the topic in a clear and scientifically way, free of judgement and full of encouragement.

Clear and scientific read

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
maybe I'm not sure where to exactly look, but is the pdf still available at this time who purchases the book?

love the book, but I can't find the pdf?

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
Surprisingly insightful and educational. I didn't expect it to be based on science and research which definitely increases the validity and trust of what's being presented. Strongly recommend and will be sharing with my fiance to read!

Educational, informative fact based book!

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
After having struggled with understanding, accepting & suppressing my fantasies for years, I gave this book a listen based on a recommended. Turns out, the fantasies I’ve had for so long are normal & fairly common amongst many men & women. Suppressing these fantasies for so long has resulted in immense anxiety, depression & increased marital issues for me. Chapters 8 thru the end of the book went a long way in helping me better understand the role my sexual fantasies have played in all these aspects. It’s given me more confidence & somewhat of a roadmap for sharing with my wife of 20+ years. If you have had fears of sharing your intimate desires with your spouse, I highly recommend at least listening to or reading the last couple chapters at least.
Thanks to the author for putting this book together!

Enlightening

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
So informative and yet it felt light and easy to digest. Also Justin has a great voice.

If you only read one book on sex, read this one.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
See more reviews