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The Dragon Squisher
- Narrated by: Adam Fuller
- Length: 9 hrs and 19 mins
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Publisher's summary
“Before I can begin my tale, you need to know about the king's panties.”
So begins the epic adventure of 14-year-old Nigel, digger of latrines, shoveler of poop, and the single greatest threat to all the humans, elves, and halflings of Esteria.
Nigel needs to escape from military school. Who can blame him? After all, the king just declared war on the gorks, and he's pretty sure his latrine-digging skills aren't going to be much good on the front lines.
Problem is, Nigel's escape efforts have a way of backfiring, taking him further from home, and destroying, well, pretty much everything that gets in his way. By the time he and his arch-frenemy are banished from the kingdom and sent on an impossible quest for a (probably bogus) magical artifact, the humans of Esteria find themselves longing for the good old days when they were merely being annihilated by Lord Smoron.
Book one of the Nigel Chronicles, The Dragon Squisher tell the story of how Nigel, his too-perfect comrade Lance Hightower, and Eldrack, a female gork prisoner with a well-earned grudge against humans, usher in a new era of chaos and magic.
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Eist was born to be a dragon rider; she just knows it. When fate conspires to take her parents and leave her orphaned and injured, her future appears bleak. Unwilling to back down, she must overcome a system stacked against her. Even if she passes all the tests, there’s no guarantee she will ever fly on a dragon. Can she beat the odds and find her destiny, or will she be stranded on the ground?
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Enjoyed
- By Anonymous User on 03-27-21
By: Jada Fisher
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Way of the Immortals: Path of the Divine
- By: Harmon Cooper
- Narrated by: Neil Hellegers
- Length: 9 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Thrust by a mysterious portal into an unknown world, Nick Barnette does what anyone would do in his situation: he runs. Now separated from his friends, and being pursued by powerful forces he doesn’t understand, Nick must navigate the Kingdom of Lhasa and figure out how to get home. Through his trials and tribulations, Nick notices that he has developed a strange power that allows him to slow down time, vastly improving his combat ability. But he doesn’t have any control over the power.
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A cultivation novel without cultivation...
- By Amazon Customer on 01-15-20
By: Harmon Cooper
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The Lightning-Struck Heart
- By: TJ Klune
- Narrated by: Michael Lesley
- Length: 19 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Once upon a time, in an alleyway in the slums of the City of Lockes, a young and somewhat lonely boy named Sam Haversford turns a group of teenage douchebags into stone completely by accident. Of course, this catches the attention of a higher power, and Sam's pulled from the only world he knows to become an apprentice to the king's wizard, Morgan of Shadows.
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Absolutely brilliant
- By Rain on 12-23-15
By: TJ Klune
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World's Strongest Farmer
- World's Strongest Farmer, Book 1
- By: Tyr Havolt
- Narrated by: Ulf Bjorklund
- Length: 6 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Raverek wants nothing more than to be a farmer like his dad; tend the fields, harvest the crops, and kill the occasional monster who breaks through the fog wall that borders his home. But getting what he wants isn't so easy when everyone's job class is designated by the gods and they have plans for the would-be farmer. A pestilence that hasn't been seen for 200 years has discovered a way to pierce the fog wall and the world is going to need a hero.
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Yet another week willed protagonist.
- By Kindle Customer on 06-02-20
By: Tyr Havolt
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Worldship: Udo the Digger
- Worldship, Book 1
- By: Joshua Gayou
- Narrated by: R.C. Bray
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Story
Udo's biggest problem isn't being a digger (that's low class), or staying drunk (that's damn expensive), or avoiding the Dwergaz (they're monsters), or even pissing off the supposed Gods. It's that his reality...well, it isn't what he thought. And now, he can't even afford to drink because his so-called friend Nicz is cutting into his business, digging up tin, iron, and copper. So Udo forms a new plan: clay. After all, clay jars are used to store everything: meat, herbs, and, his personal favorite, ale.
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I am confused.
- By Ahkia on 06-02-20
By: Joshua Gayou
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The Revenge of Magic
- The Revenge of Magic Series, Book 1
- By: James Riley
- Narrated by: Kirby Heyborne
- Length: 9 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Thirteen years ago, books of magic were discovered in various sites around the world alongside the bones of dragons. Only those born after “Discovery Day” have the power to use the magic. Now, on a vacation to Washington, DC, Fort Fitzgerald’s father is lost when a giant creature bursts through the earth, attacking the city. Fort is devastated, until an opportunity for justice arrives six months later, when a man named Dr. Opps invites Fort to a government-run school, the Oppenheimer School, to learn magic from those same books. But life’s no easier at the school.
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great book similar to story thieves
- By Matthias Goetzke on 03-26-19
By: James Riley
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The Uncommon Rider
- By: Sarah Noffke, Michael Anderle
- Narrated by: Dara Rosenberg
- Length: 13 hrs and 47 mins
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
The first dragonrider in over a hundred years has been born...and it’s a girl. Never before has a female been chosen to ride a dragon. The Elite, a guild comprised exclusively of dragonriders, is dead according to most. No one has seen a rider in decades. The problems they used to fight overwhelm the world. Dragons are thought to be near extinction. However, the Elite aren’t dead...It’s just that a bunch of crusty old men who do nothing that benefits the world at large are easy to mistake as useless corpses. Sophia Beaufont is about to change all of that.
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Not Much of a Story
- By Small Mountain on 10-01-20
By: Sarah Noffke, and others
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Death Becomes Her [Dramatized Adaptation]
- The Kurtherian Gambit, Book 1
- By: Michael Anderle
- Narrated by: full cast, Colleen Delany, Emily Beresford, and others
- Length: 5 hrs and 16 mins
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
There is more in our world than you know. Deep in the darkness of a government building, one man needs to find the perfect solution to a vampire’s request that the government satisfy the debt of honor owed him. If he falls short, the failure will be paid in the blood of the military. He needs three uniquely qualified individuals. He can find only one. One woman, dying, might be the ace-in-the-hole he needs to appease the Vampire. But then, she might also be the one person needed to save humanity. If she is accepted, will she willingly change?
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great adaptation
- By Michael Mason on 11-02-20
By: Michael Anderle
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Sentenced to Troll Compendium, Books 1-3
- By: S.L. Rowland
- Narrated by: Eric Jason Martin
- Length: 29 hrs and 30 mins
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Overall
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Performance
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Chad Johnson built his following by being a troll. Online games, social media, you name it—he's there with a witty comeback. But when he goes too far during a televised stream, he's handed a punishment unlike any other. Instead of the usual ban or suspension, Chad's sentenced to thirty days of full immersion therapy in Isle of Mythos—a world of epic fantasy filled with dungeons and mythical creatures. The twist? He's forced to embody a forest troll, one of the most-despised races in Mythos.
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Kids book
- By Kindle Customer on 03-15-22
By: S.L. Rowland
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Fate of the Fallen
- By: Kel Kade
- Narrated by: Nick Podehl
- Length: 12 hrs and 33 mins
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Everyone loves Mathias. Naturally, when he discovers it’s his destiny to save the world, he dives in headfirst, pulling his best friend, Aaslo, along for the ride. However, saving the world isn’t as easy, or exciting, as it sounds in the stories. The going gets rough, and folks start to believe their best chance for survival is to surrender to the forces of evil, which isn’t how the prophecy goes. At all. As the list of allies grows thin and the friends find themselves staring death in the face, they must decide how to become the heroes they were destined to be.
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Interesting but no KDT
- By Jonathan on 03-11-20
By: Kel Kade
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Sorcery Reborn
- The Rebellion Chronicles, Book 1
- By: Steve McHugh
- Narrated by: Simon Mattacks, Elizabeth Knowelden
- Length: 10 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
After losing his powers in an epic battle between good and evil, former sorcerer Nate Garrett finds himself living as a humble human in Clockwork, Oregon. While the world thinks Nate is dead, his friends continue to fight against Avalon and the evil it’s intent on spreading. Avalon’s forces turn up in Clockwork, and Nate’s frustration grows with every passing day his magic doesn’t return. He finds himself trying to stop Avalon’s plans while hiding from enemies who would destroy everything in their path to see him dead.
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Not first in series
- By SanRetro on 02-01-20
By: Steve McHugh
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Mortality Bites: Publisher's Pack
- By: Ramy Vance
- Narrated by: Candace Thaxton
- Length: 12 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Katrina Darling’s only real friend has been murdered. And not just murdered - ritually sacrificed by a serial killer. Kat is sure more death will follow. She should know...she used to be the monster plunging the blade in. Trouble is, after 300 years of being a vampire, Kat has forgotten what it means to be human. One thing she does remember is that friends matter. Now she's determined to find whoever - or whatever - killed her friend before more victims surface. But just as the hunt begins, a mysterious young man discovers exactly what she was.
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Ugh
- By MsNing on 05-12-22
By: Ramy Vance
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We Are the Dead
- The Last War Trilogy
- By: Mike Shackle
- Narrated by: Nicola Bryant
- Length: 18 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Jia's people learned the hard way that there are no second chances. The Egril, their ancient enemy, struck with magic so devastating that Jia's armies were wiped out. Now terror reigns in the streets, and friend turns on friend just to live another day. Somehow Tinnstra - a deserter, a failure, nothing but a coward - survived. She wants no more than to hide from the chaos. But dragged into a desperate plot to retake Jia, surrounded by people willing to do anything to win the fight, this time Tinnstra will need to do more than hide.
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Criminally Underrated Gem in a world of Dark Fantasy
- By Nic on 04-24-23
By: Mike Shackle
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Accent problem
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The Eternity Elixir
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Story
Maeve Merritt chafes at the rigid rules at her London boarding school for “Upright Young Ladies.” When punishment forces her to sort through the trash, she finds a sardine tin that houses a foul-tempered djinni with no intention of submitting to a schoolgirl as his master. Soon an orphan boy from the charitable home next door, a mysterious tall man in ginger whiskers, a disgruntled school worker, and a take-no-prisoners business tycoon are in hot pursuit of Maeve and her magical discovery.
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I didn’t want it to end
- By Julia on 10-05-18
By: Julie Berry
What listeners say about The Dragon Squisher
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Angela
- 08-31-20
Hilarious!
Oh, wow. This is a wild ride! It's part homage, part take-down of the classic quest fantasy. If you want some laughs, some Gorks, some military school, and a boat-load of irreverence, this one's for you. For kids, sure, but will definitely appeal to adults with a good sense of humor!
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29 people found this helpful
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- John C
- 10-26-20
Lol
Lol sums it up pretty good. A story within a story using funny names, great adventure, and strong bonding with friends. I really enjoyed it.
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6 people found this helpful
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- Dolores Davalos
- 10-06-20
action-packed. full of action
this book was really enjoyable. the story was surprisingly interesting and catching. i only wish the end had a little more excitement and explanation
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4 people found this helpful
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- Allan
- 09-20-20
Great spoof take on Lord of the rings + more
Well worth a listen- especially in 2020 - nice to have something to smile about. I dear you to not laugh out loud when the evil villain describes what is the first thing he will do after taking over the world. Enjoy
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3 people found this helpful
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- S. Trovillion
- 09-09-20
The ending was perfect!
I needed something to lift my mood. Entrancing ideas, wonderful characters. This book was AWESOME!!
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2 people found this helpful
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- tonirexx
- 10-30-20
pretty good.
Pretty funny, heavy parody of Lord of the Rings, but was overall entertaining on a long car ride and would be appropriate for children to.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Jeremy
- 02-03-21
Whimsical story for all ages!
My kids and I listened to this over several dinners. It was very entertaining. At 9 and 10, my kids could get the humor, which easily makes adults laugh! Even pre- and early-teens would enjoy this as the characters are 14/15 years old. If I had to compare it to something, this book is most like a funnier version of Harry Potter, which we adored too.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Sandy
- 04-20-21
Funny and cute and worthy if all ages if readers
2 teens and a Gork adventure in a world of magic looking for a legendary magical amulet that may merely be legend. Well performed. True to teenage angst. Areas that are laugh out loud aided by a very able performance. A touch weaker in the end. A resounding 4.8
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1 person found this helpful
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- Michelle E Neaves
- 04-08-21
Hilarious!!!
This was such a clever story. I found myself randomly laughing out loud. The characters are perfect, and the storyline was not a repeat of e every other “dragon slayer” story. The performance was fantastic
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1 person found this helpful
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- aaron
- 06-30-21
Funny Lord of the Rings
This is a funny book that is Lord of the Rings satire. I loved it.
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1 person found this helpful