Dr. John Gottman, the country's preeminent researcher on marriage, is famous for his Love Lab at the University of Washington in Seattle where he deciphers the mysteries of human relationships through scientific research. His 35 years of exploration have earned him numerous awards, including from the National Institute of Mental Health, the American Psychological Association, and the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy. Now, Dr. Gottman offers surprising findings and advice on the characteristic that is at the heart of all relationships: Trust. Dr. Gottman has developed a formula that precisely calculates any couple's loyalty level. The results determine a relationship's likely future, including the potential for one or both partners to stray.
What Makes Love Last? shows couples how to bolster their trust level and avoid what Dr. Gottman calls the "Roach Motel for Lovers". He describes how the outcome of "sliding door moments", small pivotal points between a couple, can lead either to more emotional connection or to discontent. He suggests a new approach to handling adultery and reveals the varied and unexpected non-sexual ways that couples often betray each other.
What Makes Love Last? guides couples through an empirically tested, trust-building program that will help them repair and maintain any long-term, intimate romantic relationship.
©2012 John M Gottman, PhD, and Nan Silver (P)2012 Tantor
"The practical tools to evaluate current relationships and step-by-step methods for avoiding betrayal, repairing relationships heading toward crisis, or healing a relationship after a crisis will be useful to couples who want to look honestly at healing chronic hurts and improving the state of their relationship, and are ready for a system to help them." (Publishers Weekly)
I think What Makes Love Last is one of the best Marriage books I've read, and I've read quite a few. It takes a very scientific, results based approach with several specific examples of things you can do to improve your relationship. Be sure to follow the directions at the beginning of the audiobook to get the pdf companion.
This book is amazing - if you ever asked the question. This is the answer. Well written, well read - worth the buy. This book bundled with Hold me tight is all you need.
If you are single i recommend 'attached' however this is also a great book to have. '
Know when you are 'flooding' during an argument, and understand the horsemen.
The whole book has a lot of useful info.
Has some great info on affairs - I would also recommend 'Just Friends'
Really interesting. I appreciate his research based approach. I particularly enjoyed learning more relationship recovery techniques. I also saw areas where I need to be more careful with my relationships. This was a very readable book. Of this genre, he lacks the underlying grand theory that you find in Harville Hendrix and others, but this is a much more practical approach.
The insights - practical, profound - are marriage changing and life changing.
I immediately put to work the guidance on myself and with communicating with my wife, and there is a cloud of tension already lifting. We have hot spot topics that we typically avoid, to avoid arguing. But this book gave me a guide and the courage to open up that conversation, it happened lovingly and respectfully. It's a change I've been wishing for.
If you want to create more joy and connection in your marriage, regardless of being stuck in negative discontent or happy and content this book with bring you up. I give it my highest recommendation.
Love to read. Love to write.
Offers some great suggestions about how to keep your relationship healthy. I felt it was totall worth the time and money and would recommend it to anyone struggling with relationship issues or wanting to make a good relationship better. Even the best relationships can use advice about what to do to keep them that way.
Gottman is a seasoned expert on the subject of successful relationships.
The samples of dialogue between the therapist and various couples helped illustrate principles to me.
No :( His tone and inflection were the same for all samples of dialogue - but that's not really a big deal to me. What continually took me out of the book was how much he sounds like Quagmire from Family Guy.
Want to know if you're going to get divorced? The answers are inside...
This book is great for both couples on the fence as well as a new relationship just starting out.
For the existing couple, you will learn foundational techniques to get you back to your heydays.
For the new couple, this will help you start off on the right foot, and educate yourself on how to manage a relationships traditional obstacle to prevent them from becoming overwhelming and damaging.
Both partners need to read it. Also love the fact that there are worksheets and exercises provided to help with activities.
I wish I read this book 14 years ago.
I found this book to be full of very valuable tools. I will be listening to it many times. It gives me hope for having a successful long term relationship. The narrator did a fine job.
I've read a number of Gottman's books. This one is a welcome focus on the elements that bond the couple. His research advances to move toward the simple ideas of making decisions in the other person's interest and reducing negative interactions. Underneath all that, he reveals the more complex context in which all of that fits and includes many familiar examples.
This book may be what saved my marriage; my very life. In it I found a short yet profound scientific approach to understanding love and long-term marriage success, regardless of circumstance or religious creed. Upon reading it I became overwhelmed with epiphanies and experienced a cascade of internal change which, while aimed at improving the relationship with my incredible spouse, has benefited me well beyond the proverbial walls of my marriage. I would highly recommend this to anyone willing to take an honest, measured and critical look at their life and themselves. Reading it with a partner will only amplify it's benefits and I look forward to putting in the work with the aids that come with the hard copy version.
Thank you Dr's Julie and John Gottman and all your staff. Your work is meaningful and greatly appreciated.
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