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Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay: Decide Whether to Stay In or Get Out of Your Relationship | [Mira Kirshenbaum]

Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay: Decide Whether to Stay In or Get Out of Your Relationship

To make up or break up? Whether you’re just getting serious or have a long-term commitment, no other question causes so much heartache and self-doubt. Many other books tell you how to fix your relationship. This groundbreaking bestseller is the first one to help you choose whether you should try—or you need to go.
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Publisher's Summary

To make up or break up? Whether you’re just getting serious or have a long-term commitment, no other question causes so much heartache and self-doubt. Many other books tell you how to fix your relationship. This groundbreaking best seller is the first one to help you choose whether you should try—or you need to go.

Psychotherapist Mira Kirshenbaum draws on years of research and her work with real-life couples to help you make the right decision. She shows you how to diagnose your unique situation with self-analysis and questions like these, which get to the very heart of your problems:

  • What sins are forgivable and which ones unpardonable?
  • Is your partner questioning your opinions to the point where you doubt yourself?
  • What is your sex life really like, and how important is it?
  • Is there real love left between you, and how does it stack up against all that you find unlovable?
  • Mira Kirshenbaum provides expert guidelines that are the key to making all your choices, concrete steps that you can implement right now, and the ultimate way to determine your personal bottom line—what you need to be happy. This remarkably insightful and probing guide offers advice that lets you see the truth about your relationship—and with wisdom and compassion, it helps you act with the confidence of knowing that, whether you decide to go or stay, you are doing the very best thing.

    ©1997 Mira Kirshenbaum (P)2010 Brilliance Audio, Inc.

    What the Critics Say

    "[T]hreaded through the book, which is written in a sympathetic, chatty, accessible style, are validating anecdotes that dramatize how other people have experienced and responded to the same problems the reader is going through." (Publishers Weekly)

    What Members Say

    Average Customer Rating

    4.1 (236 )
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    4.1 (157 )
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    4.2 (163 )
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    Performance
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    •  
      Phillip Tracy, CA, United States 12-24-12
      Phillip Tracy, CA, United States 12-24-12 Member Since 2013
      HELPFUL VOTES
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      "I would have been a better husband all these years"
      Would you listen to Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay again? Why?

      yes, I would listen to it again. I want to make sure that i get the references correct. I would want to make sure i could quote this book when giving insight to people who are thinking about divorce or getting married


      What did you like best about this story?

      it was not judging. it was providing a point of view of pros vs cons to help make a conscious decision in a relationship.


      What about Adriane McNeely’s performance did you like?

      it flowed.


      Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?

      Yes, but it is better to let some sections sink in and think about before you go on.


      Any additional comments?

      I have been married to my present wife for sixteen years. Had i listened to this book earlier, i would have realized that she was more patient and willing than i gave her credit for. it allowed me to see that the decision whether my relationship was worth saving, wasnt mine to make. I think this book changed by attitude and thinking about how people treat one another. I'm glad I heard this book before my wife did. Saved me from a lot of embarrassment and pain.

      1 of 1 people found this review helpful
    •  
      Abby Wines Death Valley, CA 04-20-12
      Abby Wines Death Valley, CA 04-20-12 Member Since 2011
      HELPFUL VOTES
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      "helpful for bringing peace"
      Any additional comments?

      This book is based on research with other couples and what types of issues in their relationships made them happy they separated or happy they stayed and worked on issues. I had just separated from my husband when I listened to this, so I had already made my decision, but this book made me feel more confident in myself and that decision. I really enjoyed the narrator's voice as well.

      1 of 1 people found this review helpful
    •  
      Leslie Sausalito, CA, United States 10-12-11
      Leslie Sausalito, CA, United States 10-12-11 Member Since 2009
      HELPFUL VOTES
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      "A lot to think about but helpful"

      I'm still listening to this and I think even with these "diagnostics" it will take time to sort out my own feelings, but it really gives me a lot to think of. I felt relieved that I'm not the only one stuck in "relationship ambivalence" She shows how we slip into this place. Relationships can be confusing - she helps shed light on what's going on.

      A lot of good things to think about in a more constructive way than just worrying.

      1 of 1 people found this review helpful
    •  
      Linda 08-29-15
      Linda 08-29-15 Member Since 2015
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      "its hard 2 know what u want out of ur relationship"

      listsening to this book its clear what's best for a confused relationship LOVED IT! thx

      0 of 0 people found this review helpful
    •  
      Clare 08-04-15
      Clare 08-04-15
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      "10/10"

      Amazing insight in to relationships. I related to 90% of things talked about. Make sure you have a pen and paper ready as I am now going to by the hard copy and highlight sections. Enjoy your new future with or without your current partner.

      0 of 0 people found this review helpful
    •  
      Joshua P. Masi 06-03-15 Member Since 2014
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      14
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      Story
      "Breaks things down. Back to basics."

      This book boils things down. It makes you see things that many of us overlook. Relationships get messy & reading/listening to this (while taking notes) really helps put things back into prospective. If you find yourself in a situation/relationship where you know you've 'got it' pretty good but... There's something keeping you on the fence.. (about making a decision on whether or not to stay). Read this.

      0 of 0 people found this review helpful
    •  
      RainingStars 05-19-15 Member Since 2015
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      "non judgmental approach"

      I really liked this book. I mean... yes, sometimes it was a little corny and i may have giggled a time or two. The message, though, is incredibly simple and on point. It very easily guides you through stories of other couples and explains what each partner felt and why. And even more valuable, it directly asks you the questions that can guide you to the answer you already know. I would recommend this book to anyone, even those not facing this choice.
      I can see value in these lessons reaching even casual, work or familial relationships.

      0 of 0 people found this review helpful
    •  
      Dennis 04-13-15
      Dennis 04-13-15
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      "Fantastic"

      This book answered my most difficult questions and gave me the clarity and courage I need to move forward. Thank you.

      0 of 0 people found this review helpful
    •  
      Stacey Pruim Ferndale, WA, US 04-04-15
      Stacey Pruim Ferndale, WA, US 04-04-15 Member Since 2009

      Say something about yourself!

      ratings
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      10
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      "Love this approach!"

      Not in the situation in my own relationship but read it to support a friend in a relationship and stuck in ambivalence... For 15 years... It was VERY helpful in pointing out key items that made the relationship too bad to stay.

      I think the concepts are great to review in the context of s new relationship a sort of checklist to ensure key pieces are there that will facilitate designing from the start a relationship that meets your needs.

      Good variety in examples. Easy to follow format. Kept my interest.

      0 of 0 people found this review helpful
    •  
      Sara T 03-06-15
      Sara T 03-06-15
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      "A great way to reevaluate yourself and your partne"

      Great insight! I listened to this every chance I could, and I valued every diagnostic question because it really peeled back layers of my relationship. It didn't just tease out issues in my partner, but it opened my eyes to ways I myself was contributing to the air of relationship ambivalence. Fantastic audiobook. Really helped me gain clarify on what I want and need in my relationship as well as what my partner wants and needs.

      0 of 0 people found this review helpful

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