To make up or break up? Whether you’re just getting serious or have a long-term commitment, no other question causes so much heartache and self-doubt. Many other books tell you how to fix your relationship. This groundbreaking best seller is the first one to help you choose whether you should try—or you need to go.
Psychotherapist Mira Kirshenbaum draws on years of research and her work with real-life couples to help you make the right decision. She shows you how to diagnose your unique situation with self-analysis and questions like these, which get to the very heart of your problems:
Mira Kirshenbaum provides expert guidelines that are the key to making all your choices, concrete steps that you can implement right now, and the ultimate way to determine your personal bottom line—what you need to be happy. This remarkably insightful and probing guide offers advice that lets you see the truth about your relationship—and with wisdom and compassion, it helps you act with the confidence of knowing that, whether you decide to go or stay, you are doing the very best thing.
©1997 Mira Kirshenbaum (P)2010 Brilliance Audio, Inc.
"[T]hreaded through the book, which is written in a sympathetic, chatty, accessible style, are validating anecdotes that dramatize how other people have experienced and responded to the same problems the reader is going through." (Publishers Weekly)
The best part of this book is that it gives you concrete questions that help you examine specific aspects of your relationship. The author is honest about there being no specific signs that point to a clear and definitive need to leave or stay. Rather, she gives listeners the percentages of ppl who, given their responses for the questions, were happy leaving (or unhappy staying).
This isn't for those who are looking for someone to give them the answer. But it is for those are willing to put their emotional energy into rethinking their relationships and making practical decisions that will either end them or revive them.
This book is so amazing, really made me see clear about my relationship. I realised that yes we did have some issues that definitely needed to be addressed but that in the end, my relationship was 'too good to leave' and that it was definitely worth fighting for. We have now been seeing a relationship counsellor and are happier than ever! Thank you :):):)
Right from the get-go, this book hits the mark. I felt it delivered what it promised, and for me it was a case of 'right book, right time'. It is very easy to listen to. I would highly recommend it for those in 'relationship ambivalence'. It promises clarity, and delivers. The rest is up to you.
I loved the question format of hte book as the author takes you through 30+ areas to examine in your relationship. It ended the going round and round in circles of guilt at wanting to leave, and fear of not wanting to leave.
The realisation that I had mostly negative answers to the 30+ questions posed, and that I was staying out of guilt/fear and not love.
No - it requires a digestion question by question
A must read for anyone who has any doubts about their relationship. It is such a relief to get clarity on whether it works or not!
This book really spelled out all the avenues that needed to be addressed, and where my wife and I stood on the issues.
It confirmed my concerns and put me at ease. Took away the guilt. One small problem. I'm still married! Still in limbo, but now I know I need to take action and move on with my life. According to the book, there is no question that my marriage needs to end. The biggest and clearest area for me was "off the tableitus". My wife has had it for 14 years! A must read if you are on the fence. Just follow through once you have the answers from the book. Easier said then done.
I enjoyed this book because it did not try and tell me what to do. It just gave me things to think about, and put some things in perspective. It is a good way to get out of the vicious cycle of thinking too much, because it sets a path for you to find your own answers. Just because you're ambivalent doesn't necessarily mean that things are bad OR good. It just means you need some clarity, and I think the author's questions are a good starting point for that clarity.
Jack of all trades
An avid Audible listener, Too Good is among the five best listens so far. Clear and step by step, good structure but not too much, the book is a great relationship guide about what is and isn't important for each relationship and how to determine one's own position..
A reasonable comparison might be Outliers, not because they have similar content, but more because they both present what might be controversial information in a most useful and helpful way. I was left pondering both for weeks afterward.
For any relationship, the book gives practical steps to follow for determination about whether or not to stay in a relationship.
I'd recommend this as a great guide for anyone wondering if they should stay or go .
I wanted to 'hear' the 'councillor', the narrator is just not playing the part. The information is good but I find my mind wondering off...I will probably get the book from the library.
yes, I would listen to it again. I want to make sure that i get the references correct. I would want to make sure i could quote this book when giving insight to people who are thinking about divorce or getting married
it was not judging. it was providing a point of view of pros vs cons to help make a conscious decision in a relationship.
Yes, but it is better to let some sections sink in and think about before you go on.
I have been married to my present wife for sixteen years. Had i listened to this book earlier, i would have realized that she was more patient and willing than i gave her credit for. it allowed me to see that the decision whether my relationship was worth saving, wasnt mine to make. I think this book changed by attitude and thinking about how people treat one another. I'm glad I heard this book before my wife did. Saved me from a lot of embarrassment and pain.
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