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Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay: Decide Whether to Stay In or Get Out of Your Relationship | [Mira Kirshenbaum]

Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay: Decide Whether to Stay In or Get Out of Your Relationship

To make up or break up? Whether you’re just getting serious or have a long-term commitment, no other question causes so much heartache and self-doubt. Many other books tell you how to fix your relationship. This groundbreaking bestseller is the first one to help you choose whether you should try—or you need to go.
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Publisher's Summary

To make up or break up? Whether you’re just getting serious or have a long-term commitment, no other question causes so much heartache and self-doubt. Many other books tell you how to fix your relationship. This groundbreaking best seller is the first one to help you choose whether you should try—or you need to go.

Psychotherapist Mira Kirshenbaum draws on years of research and her work with real-life couples to help you make the right decision. She shows you how to diagnose your unique situation with self-analysis and questions like these, which get to the very heart of your problems:

  • What sins are forgivable and which ones unpardonable?
  • Is your partner questioning your opinions to the point where you doubt yourself?
  • What is your sex life really like, and how important is it?
  • Is there real love left between you, and how does it stack up against all that you find unlovable?
  • Mira Kirshenbaum provides expert guidelines that are the key to making all your choices, concrete steps that you can implement right now, and the ultimate way to determine your personal bottom line—what you need to be happy. This remarkably insightful and probing guide offers advice that lets you see the truth about your relationship—and with wisdom and compassion, it helps you act with the confidence of knowing that, whether you decide to go or stay, you are doing the very best thing.

    ©1997 Mira Kirshenbaum (P)2010 Brilliance Audio, Inc.

    What the Critics Say

    "[T]hreaded through the book, which is written in a sympathetic, chatty, accessible style, are validating anecdotes that dramatize how other people have experienced and responded to the same problems the reader is going through." (Publishers Weekly)

    What Members Say

    Average Customer Rating

    4.1 (174 )
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    4.1 (107 )
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    4.1 (115 )
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    Performance
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    •  
      Nadia Lawrence, MA, United States 06-07-10
      Nadia Lawrence, MA, United States 06-07-10
      HELPFUL VOTES
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      "Gives you much to think about"

      The best part of this book is that it gives you concrete questions that help you examine specific aspects of your relationship. The author is honest about there being no specific signs that point to a clear and definitive need to leave or stay. Rather, she gives listeners the percentages of ppl who, given their responses for the questions, were happy leaving (or unhappy staying).

      This isn't for those who are looking for someone to give them the answer. But it is for those are willing to put their emotional energy into rethinking their relationships and making practical decisions that will either end them or revive them.

      14 of 14 people found this review helpful
    •  
      Stephen Edwards, CO, United States 08-20-10
      Stephen Edwards, CO, United States 08-20-10
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      "Big help for clarifying marriage health."

      This book really spelled out all the avenues that needed to be addressed, and where my wife and I stood on the issues.

      It confirmed my concerns and put me at ease. Took away the guilt. One small problem. I'm still married! Still in limbo, but now I know I need to take action and move on with my life. According to the book, there is no question that my marriage needs to end. The biggest and clearest area for me was "off the tableitus". My wife has had it for 14 years! A must read if you are on the fence. Just follow through once you have the answers from the book. Easier said then done.

      10 of 10 people found this review helpful
    •  
      Cynthia League , TX, USA 06-30-10
      Cynthia League , TX, USA 06-30-10
      HELPFUL VOTES
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      "Excellent Book!"

      Well written and the reader was perfect... I listened to this book 3 times over. I highly recommend it.

      10 of 10 people found this review helpful
    •  
      Danielle Branxton, Australia 09-26-11
      Danielle Branxton, Australia 09-26-11
      HELPFUL VOTES
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      "Amazing"

      This book is so amazing, really made me see clear about my relationship. I realised that yes we did have some issues that definitely needed to be addressed but that in the end, my relationship was 'too good to leave' and that it was definitely worth fighting for. We have now been seeing a relationship counsellor and are happier than ever! Thank you :):):)

      7 of 7 people found this review helpful
    •  
      Cathy Morison 08-07-11 Listener Since 2010
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      "Hit the mark"

      Right from the get-go, this book hits the mark. I felt it delivered what it promised, and for me it was a case of 'right book, right time'. It is very easy to listen to. I would highly recommend it for those in 'relationship ambivalence'. It promises clarity, and delivers. The rest is up to you.

      7 of 7 people found this review helpful
    •  
      Kim Minneapolis, MN, United States 01-26-12
      Kim Minneapolis, MN, United States 01-26-12 Member Since 2009
      HELPFUL VOTES
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      "Insightful"

      I enjoyed this book because it did not try and tell me what to do. It just gave me things to think about, and put some things in perspective. It is a good way to get out of the vicious cycle of thinking too much, because it sets a path for you to find your own answers. Just because you're ambivalent doesn't necessarily mean that things are bad OR good. It just means you need some clarity, and I think the author's questions are a good starting point for that clarity.

      4 of 4 people found this review helpful
    •  
      Michelle Gordon, Australia 12-19-11
      Michelle Gordon, Australia 12-19-11 Member Since 2009
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      "Helped me decide whether to leave my husband"
      What did you love best about Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay?

      I loved the question format of hte book as the author takes you through 30+ areas to examine in your relationship. It ended the going round and round in circles of guilt at wanting to leave, and fear of not wanting to leave.


      What was one of the most memorable moments of Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay?

      The realisation that I had mostly negative answers to the 30+ questions posed, and that I was staying out of guilt/fear and not love.


      Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?

      No - it requires a digestion question by question


      Any additional comments?

      A must read for anyone who has any doubts about their relationship. It is such a relief to get clarity on whether it works or not!

      4 of 4 people found this review helpful
    •  
      Angela White Rock, British Columbia, Canada 07-04-11
      Angela White Rock, British Columbia, Canada 07-04-11 Member Since 2010
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      "Information good, but voice does not match content"

      I wanted to 'hear' the 'councillor', the narrator is just not playing the part. The information is good but I find my mind wondering off...I will probably get the book from the library.

      4 of 4 people found this review helpful
    •  
      Dean Richards Denver, CO 12-17-11
      Dean Richards Denver, CO 12-17-11 Member Since 2010

      Jack of all trades

      HELPFUL VOTES
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      "If You Want to Reach a Decision...."
      Where does Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay rank among all the audiobooks you???ve listened to so far?

      An avid Audible listener, Too Good is among the five best listens so far. Clear and step by step, good structure but not too much, the book is a great relationship guide about what is and isn't important for each relationship and how to determine one's own position..


      What other book might you compare Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay to and why?

      A reasonable comparison might be Outliers, not because they have similar content, but more because they both present what might be controversial information in a most useful and helpful way. I was left pondering both for weeks afterward.


      What insight do you think you???ll apply from Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay?

      For any relationship, the book gives practical steps to follow for determination about whether or not to stay in a relationship.


      Any additional comments?

      I'd recommend this as a great guide for anyone wondering if they should stay or go .

      3 of 3 people found this review helpful
    •  
      Scott Lake Worth, FL, United States 11-05-11
      Scott Lake Worth, FL, United States 11-05-11 Member Since 2001
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      "Well done. Useful. Definitely worthwhile."

      If you are plagued by the go or stay question, this book cuts through your own tortures and quickly gets to the point. It is fair to both staying and leaving. I found it very helpful.

      3 of 3 people found this review helpful
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