Men are right.
Drs. Patricia Love and Steven Stosny have studied the all-too-familiar dynamic between men and women and have reached a truly shocking conclusion. Even with the best of intentions, talking about your relationship doesn’t bring you together, and it will eventually drive you apart.
The reason for this is that underneath most couples’ fights, there is a biological difference at work. A woman’s vulnerability to fear and anxiety makes her draw closer, while a man’s subtle sensitivity to shame makes him pull away in response. This is why so many married couples fall into the archetypal roles of nagging wife/stonewalling husband, and why improving a marriage can’t happen through words.
How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It teaches couples how to get closer in ways that don’t require "trying to turn a man into a woman". Rich in stories of couples who have turned their marriages around, and full of practical advice about the behaviors that make and break marriages, this essential guide will help couples find love beyond words.
©2007 Patricia Love and Steven Stosny (P)2011 Tantor
"Inspirational... a practical guide for men and women to overcome their challenges and come together outside and inside the bedroom." (John Gray, Ph.D., author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus)
I have listened to this more than once and get new insights each time. It has helped me understand what is going on so much better in relationships and given me some tools to improve them...and they do help!
I have listened to this book many times to understand the details. Read this book if you want to understand why you don't get along with your spouse, child, or parents. Everyone needs this information. It should be taught in school.
It has improved my relationship with my wife - Without talking about it.
I whole heartily recommend this book!
I am married to the wonderful and amazing woman pictured here. I listen to books to make me a better husband.
Excellent look into men and women and how they connect and why failure to connect means a lack of good communication and leads to discontent and divorce.
The discussion on male shame and the affect of cortisol on the male and female bodies.
Felt empathetic, very good production
That my wife and I are feeding into each other and we need to stop.
Now I just need to get her to read the book.
already am on #2 and plan to refer back when needed
Without talking or fighting about it and finally some insight on why the same approach doesn't work for both men and women.
Very well read with tactful emphasis.
It will be my relationship bible and hopefully "ours".
No other book or advice or even counsel has been this helpful.
This book is based on very simple concepts about human evolution that affect our daily lives in the modern marriage. The central premise is the fear-shame reflex that kicks off a primal defense mechanism that underlies troublesome interactions between couples. The challenge it discusses is how we can counter the evolutionary developments of our brain designed for surviving pre-historic life but not at all suited for the modern relationship. It provides data, results of research and many true and instructive examples. I highly recommend this book to anyone who wants to improve their relationship.
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