The Object of My Affection is My Reflection

Coping with Narcissists

By: Rokelle Lerner

Narrated by: Lucinda Gainey

Length: 7 hrs and 34 mins

Publisher's summary

How to manage the narcissistic people in your life

Does your boss constantly blame you for things you didn't do? Do you isolate yourself from friends and family to avoid conflict at home? Do you feel anxious when you see a certain "friend's" name on your cell phone? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you most likely have a narcissist in your life. The Object of My Affection Is in My Reflection will help you understand the complexities of this disorder and arm you with the coping mechanisms to navigate through this type of relationship.

Narcissists suffer from a personality disorder that began in the early stages of childhood. They are stuck in an early development stage where there is tremendous self-interest, excessive self-absorption, and extreme entitlement. Their behavior is a consequence of early childhood abandonment and abuse.

Rokelle Lerner specializes in working with narcissists and the people they impact. Her astounding results in improving the quality of life for those that live or work with narcissists has been recognized by therapists across the country. She explains why narcissists do the things they do and how you can protect yourself from their intimidation and manipulations. Lerner shows you how to:

• Spot a narcissist at work and in your personal life
• Set appropriate boundaries to avoid further conflict
• Avoid antagonizing a narcissist at work or at home

Narcissists are disarming, manipulative, and mesmerizing by nature. The Object of My Affection is in My Reflection will help you see through their charm so you can recharge your spirit, redefine your purpose, and regain your life.

Download the accompanying reference guide.

©2009 Rokelle Lerner (P)2013 Audible, Inc.

Learn to Set Boundaries

If you could sum up The Object of My Affection is My Reflection in three words, what would they be?

Caused valuable reflection

What does Lucinda Gainey bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?

She did a good job presenting the information as-is. With non-fiction I ask for nothing more.

What insight do you think you’ll apply from The Object of My Affection is My Reflection?

I'm guessing most people have to deal with narcissists, or similar personalities in their lives. Even if you don't deal with a full-blown narcissist, this book will give you some insight as to how to set boundaries in your life. I never actually understood what it meant to "set boundaries" until I read this.

Great

I liked the compassionate attitude in the book. The book is complete and I find it very important one has other sources of support while studying this.

Insight into narcissism

If you could sum up The Object of My Affection is My Reflection in three words, what would they be?

Insightful, informative, useful

Which scene was your favorite?

The characteristics of a narcissist as well as how to deal with them. Aspects of the book I found important: setting boundaries, the concept of shrinking, action statements, stating one's rights and finally, grieving the dreams we had created whilst in a relationship with a narcissist.

Balanced and practical, not full of jargon.

Would you consider the audio edition of The Object of My Affection is My Reflection to be better than the print version?

Yes, because I can listen while I'm driving.

What about Lucinda Gainey’s performance did you like?

Perfect read.

Any additional comments?

Gentle and understanding and with sensible strategies in part 4 for those entangled with a narcissist. This book looks at the whole picture and is not emotionally charged as are some on this topic.

Great Book

What did you like best about this story?

This book was just right to get me through figuring out what was happening in my relationship to a narcissist. It kept me sane, and helped me realize I was wasting my life.

Insight

This book was recommended by my therapist. For 28 years I had considered I live with someone who had mental illness I can't believe I just learned what that illnesses code. Narcissism and painful to endure

Great information on this topic!

The book gets detailed in one chapter that would benefit psych majors, but might confuse the lay person. I was able to take the pieces of information delivered and utilized for my personal growth.

Important information for all.

This is, for me, a hard book to review. The material is, as far as I can tell, presented in a very complete and (mostly) understandable manner. It deals with a very serious topic that everyone should have some familiarity with since pretty much everyone will, to some degree, have their lives affected by narcissists in greater and lesser degrees. So five out of five on that score.

That said, I found the material disturbing. It forced me to reassess my behaviour and the behaviour of others around me in a fundamental way. I can’t say I liked everything that reassessment turned up. Still, it is very valuable information. It’s far better to have knowledge you –even if you don’t like it—than to putter along in ignorance. Only one or two other books I’ve ever read had that sort of impact on me. In that sense, this book probably deserves six out of five stars.

I highly recommend this book. Be warned there is a chance you could find some of the material troubling, though.

Excellent explanation of my 30 year marriage

This book has given me peace.
After 30 years of what appeared to be wedded bliss...complete with two lovely grown children, I received a love letter on Tuesday and a 3x5 card stating that the marriage was over on Friday. Now I understand. For my husband, it was all an act. He was incapable of bonding.

Excellent Resource

Excellent resource for understanding/healing. Chapters 16 & 17 brought it all into focus. Great read.