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Sex at Dawn Audiobook

Sex at Dawn: How We Mate, Why We Stray, and What It Means for Modern Relationships

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Audible Editor Reviews

In Sex at Dawn, husband and wife team Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jethá have written a book that questions both modern-day standards of human sexual behavior and the scientific history of our early ancestors. The book first explains and defines what it refers to as “the standard narrative”, the story of how humans evolved from our prehistoric ancestors to be monogamous beings with conflicting biological imperatives for males and females. Then, it goes on to refute this narrative, providing evidence from noted modern scholars like Steven Pinker, Malcolm Gladwell, and Frans De Waal, as well as renowned scientists and philosophers like Charles Darwin, Jean-Jacques Rousseau, and Thomas Hobbes.

Ryan and Jethá write, “Science all too often grovels at the feet of the dominant cultural paradigm.” Indeed, one of the most powerful ideas that Sex at Dawn puts forth is that culture has a way of coloring scientific and historical “fact”. Some of the examples given are quite disturbing, especially when large institutions are clearly engaged in cover ups of our true nature. The authors assert that many sexual myths (for example, that masturbation is some kind of medical affliction) have been repeated and disseminated over the years by religious, health, and state organizations. They take a controversial stance that this “cover up” tactic has also been applied to the non-monogamy of our closest primate relatives and early man. They believe that even if non-monogamy is not the dominant mode of being for contemporary humans, at the very least it should be viewed as a historic basis for our desires and behaviors.

The narration, which alternates between Allyson Johnson and Jonathan Davis, is clear and straightforward, particularly well-suited to this kind of book. Johnson especially makes the information, which can sometimes be dense, easily digestible and relatable. One of the authors, Christopher Ryan, reads the preface, which gives a hint of how he came to be interested in exploring the given subject matter. Through this section, we also get a way to connect directly to the authors and thus, the human (as opposed to the scientific) aspect of the issues discussed.

To claim that this work is exclusively or even mostly about sexual behavior would be a stretch. The book is very holistic, tackling bigger-picture issues of science, culture, history, and philosophy. That said, these large ideas are needed as building blocks for the claims the authors make about sex. Another triumph of Sex at Dawn is the attention the authors have given to presenting material on sex as it applies to men and women equally. Along those lines, another high point of the narration is that it echoes this sentiment through the interchanging male and female voices, reminding us that these ideas apply to both sexes in different ways.

What the book posits exactly is somewhat unclear. The authors themselves admit that they're not exactly sure what to do with all the information they have unearthed. That said, the great strength of Sex at Dawn is that it opens the discourse about human sexual behavior sans many of the taboos that traditionally accompany the topic. —Gina Pensiero

Publisher's Summary

Since Darwin's day, we've been told that sexual monogamy comes naturally to our species. Mainstream science - as well as religious and cultural institutions - has maintained that men and women evolved in families in which a man's possessions and protection were exchanged for a woman's fertility and fidelity. But this narrative is collapsing. Fewer and fewer couples are getting married, and divorce rates keep climbing as adultery and flagging libido drag down even seemingly solid marriages.

How can reality be reconciled with the accepted narrative? It can't be, according to renegade thinkers Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jetha. While debunking almost everything we "know" about sex, they offer a bold alternative explanation in this provocative and brilliant book.

Ryan and Jetha's central contention is that human beings evolved in egalitarian groups that shared food, child care, and, often, sexual partners. Weaving together convergent, frequently overlooked evidence from anthropology, archaeology, primatology, anatomy, and psychosexuality, the authors show how far from human nature monogamy really is. Human beings everywhere and in every era have confronted the same familiar, intimate situations in surprisingly different ways. The authors expose the ancient roots of human sexuality while pointing toward a more optimistic future illuminated by our innate capacities for love, cooperation, and generosity.

BONUS AUDIO: Includes a Preface written and read by author Christopher Ryan.

©2010 Christopher Ryan, Cacilda Jetha (P)2010 Audible, Inc

What the Critics Say

“Funny, witty, and light ... Sex at Dawn is a scandal in the best sense, one that will have you reading the best parts aloud and reassessing your ideas about humanity’s basic urges well after the book is done.” (Newsweek)

Sex at Dawn is the single most important book about human sexuality since Alfred Kinsey unleashed Sexual Behavior in the Human Male on the American public in 1948.” (Dan Savage)

"My favorite book of 2010...it's the only book I read this year that proved that I was badly mistaken about something." (Peter Sagal, host of NPR's Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!)

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

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  •  
    David San Jose, CA United States 10-15-12
    David San Jose, CA United States 10-15-12 Member Since 2012
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Interest and disturbing"

    The book was so well received that Sex at Dusk was written. I followed all their arguments. However, I'm not certain I am ready to divorce sex and love. Yes, it's been done, but my own experience is quite painful when that happens. Would like to know more about the cultures which practice much freer forms of sexuality. I was engrossed in this book and couldn't wait to get back to it. Definitely worth a listen.

    1 of 3 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Heather Mauro Colorado Springs, CO 06-04-12
    Heather Mauro Colorado Springs, CO 06-04-12 Member Since 2013

    HRM

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    "Who knew prehistoric sex could be funny?!?!"
    What did you love best about Sex at Dawn?

    I truly loved listening to this book. It was witty, insightful, and just a fun listen. I was afraid this was going to be sort of dry and boring (think Anthropology 101) but it wasn't...I was very pleasantly surprised!


    What was one of the most memorable moments of Sex at Dawn?

    There's a part in the book where the authors discuss the topic of this book with another anthropologist and the guy says "what are you going to do close your eyes and imagine". I thought that was great. They took a very realistic approach to the subject by saying, "hey we don't have all the answers..but here's what we got". Combined with the research and the tongue-in-cheeck humor. It made for a very likable and compelling read!


    1 of 3 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Jim "The Impatient" Springfield, MO, United States 12-30-11
    Jim "The Impatient" Springfield, MO, United States 12-30-11 Member Since 2015

    I am brutally honest. Popular, love everything they read, reviewers are scared to go neg. and risk their ranking. It's your money!!!

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    "Takes an Open Mind"

    I am a christian male who has been happily married for over 33 years. My wife still turns men's heads at 53. Throughout our marriage I have wondered why I have been attracted to other females, when I am so happy at home. Why do so many men married to super star women cheat on their wives (Brad Pitt, Tiger Woods, etc.)

    This puts out the argument that we were not meant to be monogamous. Monogamy is unhealthy.

    They also show evidence that moving from hunter gathers to an agricultural society is the cause of many of our ill's today. We were not kick out of The Garden of Eden, we were kicked into it.

    I am not a bible scholar, but think about this: God wanted us to trust him fully. Perhaps the tree of knowledge was the knowledge on how to grow apples. We started growing crops and not depending upon God. To be healthy we need to eat a variety of foods. Cultivation has lead us to stay in one place and eat the same foods. This leads to vitamin deficiency. A book offered by this club that I have not read yet is called Wheat Belly, which is supposed to be about how wheat makes us fat. Was Cain's sacrifice to God not appreciated because it was grain? Cain and the apple tree are not mentioned in the book, they are what I thought of because this book makes you think, but you have to be open minded.

    The book is very entertaining and reminded me several times of Jean Auel's series. She has taken grief sometimes because of her randy cave men. This shows that she may not have showed them as randy enough.

    The book is very one sided and it has not convinced me to cheat on my wife or join a commune, but it is a different way to think about our society past and present and I always enjoy writings that challenge the norm. If you can not be open minded about your religion our belief system then you will hate this book. If you like to challenge your beliefs then this is food for thought.

    1 of 3 people found this review helpful
  •  
    dominic Lomita, CA, United States 12-28-11
    dominic Lomita, CA, United States 12-28-11 Member Since 2016
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    "Excellent comparison of post + pre pastoral life"
    What about the narrators’s performance did you like?

    Allyson Johnson is easy on the ear and seems to genuinely understand and agree with the content


    1 of 3 people found this review helpful
  •  
    KatyBrad 11-11-11
    KatyBrad 11-11-11 Member Since 2009
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    "Reconsider what you think you know about love..."

    I thought this book was fascinating and seems like it should be required reading for everyone that wants to have an adult relationship.

    1 of 3 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Jonathan Famous Pennsylvania 10-21-11
    Jonathan Famous Pennsylvania 10-21-11 Member Since 2009
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    "Like an collection of college lectures"

    There was a lot good, and a lot not so good, about this book. To summarize my main complaint with it, it's written like a bunch of college lectures from a semester or two that were thrown together. Each chapter is individually viable, but there's little that holds everything together, other than very loosely, and no really good or insightful conclusions or conjectures put forth from the other material in here.

    That being said, some of the material, background research, and case studies are very good. It looks at the less-well-known side of various concepts (mainly the standard narrative of male/female monogamous relationships) and less often cited studies. So if you're looking for different perspectives on relationship and marriage and monogamy, there's a lot of good background material here.

    So it has interesting material; it just doesn't hold well together as a cohesive writing. If you accept that going in, it's certainly not a bad read, and will make you think.

    1 of 3 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Ruth Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada 09-17-11
    Ruth Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada 09-17-11
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    "Consider this"

    Essential reading for anyone willing to consider the hard truth about why long-term monogamous relationships do not seem to work. Not jaded, in fact, celebratory and quite sex-positive, Sex at Dawn is a fun listen as well as enlightening. The narrators are fantastic on this version. My best Audible purchase to date.

    1 of 3 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Amazon Customer Burwood, Australia 09-01-11
    Amazon Customer Burwood, Australia 09-01-11
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    "A World Changing View"

    This is a work of significant importance. It deserves to be read, considered, discussed and and absorbed into one's view of life and love. I truly expect that society will be altered by this book. Maybe not this year or next, but over time these ideas and insights will gain momentum and a reassessment of how we live and interact and love and learn will result.
    I think this is one of the most important books written in the last decade. I would stake a larger claim, but I am mindful the Guns, Germs and Steel was written around a decade ago. If you are a fan of Jared Diamond or Desmond Morris, then you must read this book.

    1 of 3 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Tess Mitchell Gold Coast, Qld Australia 02-14-11
    Tess Mitchell Gold Coast, Qld Australia 02-14-11 Member Since 2015
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    "So good I went out and bought the hardcover too."

    Everything I always thought and couldn't quite say at polite dinner parties! Brilliant and keeps your interest all the way through. One of the best non fiction I've read.

    3 of 8 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Jay SAUGUS, MA, United States 02-06-11
    Jay SAUGUS, MA, United States 02-06-11 Member Since 2005

    Warcraft Addict

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    "A great read, especially for the polyamorous."

    I enjoyed this book immensely. It had a great sense of humor, and erased many of the preconceived notions about monogamy that I had been harboring for my entire life. It was a great read and would have gotten 5 stars if they were able to offer some conclusions about their findings.

    3 of 8 people found this review helpful

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