I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki

By: Baek Sehee

Narrated by: Jully Lee

Length: 3 hrs and 56 mins

Publisher's summary

Bloomsbury presents I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki by Baek Sehee, read by Jully Lee.

The South Korean runaway bestseller, debut author Baek Sehee's intimate therapy memoir, as recommended by BTS.

Psychiatrist: So how can I help you?

Me: I don’t know, I’m—what’s the word—depressed? Do I have to go into detail?

Baek Sehee is a successful young social media director at a publishing house when she begins seeing a psychiatrist about her—what to call it?—depression? She feels persistently low, anxious, endlessly self-doubting, but also highly judgemental of others. She hides her feelings well at work and with friends, performing the calmness her lifestyle demands. The effort is exhausting, overwhelming and keeps her from forming deep relationships. This can't be normal. But if she's so hopeless, why can she always summon a yen for her favourite street food: the hot, spicy rice cake, tteokbokki? Is this just what life is like?

Recording her dialogues with her psychiatrist over a twelve-week period, and expanding on each session with her own reflective micro-essays, Baek begins to disentangle the feedback loops, knee-jerk reactions and harmful behaviours that keep her locked in a cycle of self-abuse. Part memoir, part self-help book, I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki is an audiobook to keep close and to listen to in times of darkness. It will appeal to anyone who has ever felt alone or unjustified in their everyday despair.

©2018 Baek Sehee (P)2022 Bloomsbury Publishing Plc

If you want a different perspective on life

I honestly enjoyed the book because it gives a new viewpoint on life that I always had thought on. that I was alone thinking while believing I'm a terrible person for thinking. it's not for everyone I must admit, but to those who find this small treasure, a friend awaits in the pages.

Enjoy it without thinking too deeply

This book was a great relief. As someone living with various mental illnesses it was nice to hear that someone else also has all of these thoughts that are maybe contradictory to how we want to live. This book made me feel less alone. I enjoyed it. I think some of the other reviews might’ve been looking for a deep conclusion or something more than a memoir. This book is great as a memoir.

A good catharsis

It was an easy listen. I love how the narrator gave emphasis on some words that gave more impact.

The book is a memoir of the author's life. It is a good catharsis for people who have a hard time dealing with their emotions and for those afraid to seek professional help.

I related to the book very much

I found comfort in this book. I read this because namjoon recommended it awhile ago....I listen while at work today and it was so good!

It was interesting...

It was interesting, but not what I had pictured. I'm not sure it was for me or maybe it was just bad timing considering what I had just read.

Raw and Relatable

This book was everything I needed! Life can feel like you’re doing too much and not enough at the same time and this story truly shares that, that is normal. It was such a good take on what a good therapy session is like and how emotions can be blinding. A must read for people who struggle with the “meaning of life”

Great Read

Very relatable. I’m so happy someone put this in words. I am now motivated to seek psychiatric help. Thank you.

An Honest Experience with Depression and Coping

With the majority (if not near entirety) of the narrative being transcriptions of the author's own psychiatric sessions, "I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki" is reflective. A mirror into the quiet agonies of coping with depression and anxiety in the most tender, most open form possible. I can see how this wasn't for everyone; it is almost entirely dialogue, lacks a lot of the malleability for a variety of outlooks most other texts of it's type have, and is...raw. It isn't curated to be consumed easily. It is the author's own personal pains, her agonies, and if you get it...you get it. If she says something that strikes a cord it HITS. Most of Chapter 4 felt like an tender scar for me. This isn't a book about triumph, about getting over, it's more realistic. Softer. It's about coping, and living, and becoming comfortable in one's own personal weaknesses. Learning to take them with stride and win where you can while accepting that those victories come with time and patience, and set backs. It may seem relentlessly depressing to some, but if you're like me? It's a mirror, and it's comforting to know that others feel the same. That you aren't alone in your journey to find a baseline.

You need to be in the mood for it.

The book is essentially dialogue between the author and her psychiatrist. I enjoyed this book just because I was able to relate to a lot of the author’s internal thoughts and conflict. It honestly made me want to consider enrolling into therapy. However, I can see that the book is targeted towards a very narrow audience, and it could be seen as dry for most people. I would only recommend this book to people that want to self-reflect, and need help in navigating their emotional health.

No need to listen to this

It's very boring, very repetitive.

For performance, at least two people should have performed for the conversation.