What's not to like. Cute stories about his life and career seasoned with the unique Shatner flavor. I only wish it was longer. If you like William Shatner than you like like this one.
Admit it. You want to BE William Shatner. This collection of rules, illustrated with stories from Bill’s illustrious life and career, will show you how Bill became WILLIAM SHATNER, larger than life and bigger than any role he ever played. Shatner Rules is your guide to becoming William Shatner. Or, more accurately, beautifully Shatneresque.
"I can't believe he's 80!"
When a bestselling writer meets a squirrel who refuses to die, the result is sheer helpless laughter
Dr. Dongle, the indefatigable slayer of parents who give their children awful name, returns more vile and angry than ever in Volume 4. In the crosshairs this go-round are the mothers and fathers of Keightlynne, Equinox, Jaxton, Virva, Fhoenix, Rayge, Gusty, Jaykub, Infinity, Darlington and 90 more names that it's OK to openly despise. The usual warning: the language herein is among the most foul, vile and vulgar you'll ever read. The faint of heart and those with a weak sense of humor need not apply.
Events quickly escalate during a heated live TV interview when the B.B.C.’s very own Rottweiler is flattened when a punch is thrown by a former Canadian citizen who has become a new peer of the realm recently released from jail for pension fraud. The story becomes a national sensation with the B.B.C. Director General wanting to milk the story for all it is worth to bring the national institution back to its former glory.
Following the infamous "Ring of Fire" incident, the world's vampires are in a state of panic. Having been commanded by their creators to restore a better balance between humans and vampires, panicked bloodsuckers everywhere have begun "restoring" in the best ways they know -- by killing huge numbers of humans and turning the rest.
Do you ever get those annoying phone calls trying to sell you things you could never need? These 22 ideas are bound to make your next annoying phone call not so annoying! In fact, you're very likely to start enjoying it when telemarketers and scammers call you!
Do you want your children to be soft-minded? No. You do not. Soft minds are for liberals, and they are the weaklings we are fighting in the east. You want your children to be strong, liberty-loving, free-thinking patriots who will do as we say. You will begin listening to chapters from this audiobook when the precious little fetus being carried by one of your wives is in the first trimester of its life, which began the moment you, the father, soaked her woman parts with your sinful fluids.
It wasn't easy, but I did it. It was a long struggle, but I made it. I found unhappiness in a peaceful world. You can too! Maybe you already have. In that case, this book will show you how you did it. And if you haven't, it will show you how you can do it. Moreover, no matter how unhappy, depressed, or anxious you are, by listening to this book you can become even more unhappy, more depressed, and more anxious. There is no limit to how unhappy you can be.
In his hilarious compilation of police blotter excerpts from the Sonoma Index-Tribune, kooky tales from locals, and personal stories, Farrell will have you choking on your Pinot Noir. With anecdotes ranging from sweet to bizarre, Farrell delivers an entertaining view of Sonoma that is routinely missed by wine connoisseurs, travel writers, and tourists. Crooks are caught with steaks in their pants, cops pull over kangaroo wranglers, and cons are chased down the street wearing bunny slippers.
In The Corn Miracle, author Dr. William Mayze exposes the truth that has been covered up for centuries on this powerful, spiritual food. Discover how the many forms of real corn can be used to beat disease quickly and naturally.
Let’s face it, modern humans are sick, fat, and pathetic. If only we could go back in time to the Stone Age when men were virile and strong, and women were free of menstrual cramps and birthed babies while carrying wild game on their backs. But wait, maybe we can! In his latest and most accessible book, Mastering the Real Paleo Diet, Dr. Willy Mammoth lays out the foundations for perfect health. It’s simple, really. We just need to go back in time!
Life Without the BS is a humorous look at life, marriage, kids, education, and a few other bugaboos including politics, religion, and sex and dating.
If you've got an axe to grind against the Obama, Hillary, Rush, or Anne Coulter - we've got you covered there, too. I don't want to give away the farm, but here a few tastes of what you'll find inside. Let me warn - It's finger licking good. Once you start listening, you won't want to stop.
In Book 3, Johnny Dongle continues his full-frontal assault on the terrible names given to children by modern parents.
About this story: It is satire - plain and simple.Either you will love it or you will hate it.
From Poop to Booze to Bikinis, he covers the funnier side of the issues encountered by boaters all of types. With chapters like Signs You Live on a Boat, Stupid People on Rental Equipment, and Zombies Can't Swim, you'll find plenty of laughs. There's even a chapter for Tim Dorsey fans. If you are a liveaboard, cruiser, weekender, wannabe boater, have boating friends, or are just a fan of Ed Robinson's wit, you will enjoy this light hearted romp through many maritime topics.
Johnny Dongle returns with more real-life, awful names given to children by even realer-life, awfuler parents. Tresco: Child or Discount Pharmacy Chain? Pacey: Child or Race Horse? Annora: Child or Medical Condition? You be the judge. Bascom: Child or Secretive Government Agency? You be the judge. Advisory: This audiobook is even more vile, vulgar, and hilarious than Volume I.
God Is Disappointed in You is for people who would like to read the Bible...if it would just cut to the chase. Stripped of its arcane language and interminable passages, every book of the Bible is condensed down to its core message, in no more than a few pages each. Written by Mark Russell with cartoons by New Yorker cartoonist Shannon Wheeler, God Is Disappointed in You is a frequently hilarious, often shocking, but always accurate retelling of the Bible, including the parts selectively left out by Sunday School teachers.
You're going to wish you never got this audiobook. Some facts are too terrifying to teach in school. Unfortunately, Cracked.com is more than happy to fill you in. Think you're going to choose whether or not to buy this book? Scientists say your brain secretly makes all your decisions 10 seconds before you even know what they are.
"just plain funny"
"I've experienced a whole lot the last few years and I have a lot to share. So I hope that you'll take a moment to sit back, relax and enjoy the words I've put together for you in this book. I think you'll find I've left no stone unturned, no door unopened, no window unbroken, no rug unvacuumed, no ivories untickled. What I'm saying is, let us begin, shall we?" (Ellen DeGeneres)
"Exactly what you would expect from Ellen"
Academy Award nominee Samuel L. Jackson (Pulp Fiction) rocks this mock bedtime story, capturing a hilarious range of emotions as the voice of a father struggling to get his child to sleep. Go the F**k to Sleep is a bedtime book for parents who live in the real world, where a few snoozing kitties and cutesy rhymes don’t always send a toddler sailing blissfully off to dreamland.
"Read the F--king REVIEW!"
If one George Carlin audio is funny, then two are funnier and three must be funniest, right? That's our thinking behind this new collection. t's a HighBridge library of laugh-out-loud, award-winning recordings featuring George himself performing many of his best bits.
"Like a Cast of Thousands"
In President Me, Carolla shares his vision for a different, better America free from big issues like big government down to small problems like hotel alarm clock placement. Running on an anti-narcissism platform, President Carolla calls for a return to the values of an earlier time when stew and casserole were on every dinner table and there were no “service dogs” on airplanes. President Me hits right at the heart of what makes our country really annoying, and offers a plan to make all of our lives, but mostly Adam’s, much better.
"Funny, Truthy, Douchey"
A masterpiece of satire, this classic has entertained and enlightened readers the world over with its sly and ironic portrayal of human life and foibles from the vantage point of Screwtape, a highly placed assistant to "Our Father Below". At once wildly comic, deadly serious, and strikingly original, C.S. Lewis gives us the correspondence of the worldly-wise old Devil to his nephew, Wormwood, a novice demon in charge of securing the damnation of an ordinary young man.
"So much truth, much of it scary."
From the larger, louder half of the world-famous magic duo Penn & Teller comes a scathingly funny reinterpretation of The Ten Commandments. They are The Penn Commandments, and they reveal one outrageous and opinionated atheist’s experience in the world.
"More memoir than theology"
Book store nation, in the history of mankind there has never been a greater country than America. You could say we're the number one nation at being the best at greatness. But as perfect as America is in every single way, America is broken! And we can't exchange it because we're 236 years past the 30-day return window. Look around - we don't make anything anymore, we've mortgaged our future to China, and the Apologist-in-Chief goes on world tours just to bow before foreign leaders.
"Funny as usual"
Where do we come from? Who created us? Why are we here? These questions have puzzled us since the dawn of time, but when it became apparent to Jon Stewart and the writers of The Daily Show that the world was about to end, they embarked on a massive mission to write a book that summed up the human race: What we looked like; what we accomplished; our achievements in society, government, religion, science, and culture - all in a lavishly produced audiobook.
"Good book, not great. But let me explain."
It's anything but Grimm when the Tell 'Em Steve Dave crew gives their hilarious takes on some of the best and least known fairy tales. Join Bryan Johnson, Brian Quinn and Walt Flanagan with special guest Sunday Jeff as they create a magical world of fantasy and wonder, trolls, living plants, and sinful dwarves. It doesn't get any better than this...or funnier.
"TESD Being TESD"
If you can count on one thing from "Madea" Mabel Simmons, star of Diary of a Mad Black Woman and Madea's Family Reunion, it's that she's got something to say. She's the beloved, hilarious, sharp-witted, pistol-packing grandmother who's watching out and speaking her mind. Now Madea is telling her own story, dishing her memoirs and hard-won, hilarious wisdom in her own inimitable voice (with a little help from her friend Tyler Perry).
A compilation of funny, irreverently reverent stories on aligning with the Divine in daily life. For the passionately spiritual and bemusedly skeptical alike. Adapted from a popular column originally published as "San Francisco's Spiritual Examiner" at examiner.com. "What if God IS the story? What if the Divine is constantly igniting roadside flares to get our attention? What if there actually IS a Supreme Organizing Principle with a ribald and unbridled sense of humor? And what if we each have this ardent inner suitor who's writing us love letters every day that often go unopened?"
"Perfect blend of depth and humor"
What The Daily Show is to evening news, The Colbert Report is to personality-driven pundit shows. Colbert brings his sarcastic charm to a half-hour report, tackling the important issues of the day and telling his guests why their opinions are just plain wrong. Stephen stands for "truthiness" and his American right to copyright that word and claim ownership of it. The author describes this as a simple audiobook from a simple mind: Stephen Colbert's.
"Funny, but disappointing."
It's a sad and eerie harbinger of our times that the Oprah-watching, crystal-rubbing, Whole Foods-shopping moms and their whipped attorney husbands have taken the ability to reason away from the poor schlub who makes the Bloody Marys. What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we now settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers. Adam Carolla has had enough of this insanity and he's here to help us get our collective balls back.
A strange and charming collection of hilariously absurd poetry and writing from one of today's most popular young comedians...In Egghead, Bo brings his brand of brainy, emotional comedy in the form of off-kilter poems, thoughts, and more. Bo takes on everything from death to farts in this weird audiobook that will make you think, laugh and think, "why did I just laugh?"
"Bo is just"
Jon Stewart, host of the Emmy and Peabody Award-winning The Daily Show, and his coterie of patriots deliver a hilarious look at American government.
"Runs hot and cold..but when it's hot...it's hot"
Kate Schechter would like to know why everyone she meets knows her name - and why Thor, the Norse god of thunder, keeps showing up on her doorstep. Dirk Gently, detective and refrigerator wrestler, can uncover the mystery, and only the absurdist wit of Douglas Adams can recount them with such relentless humor.
"An Amazingly Perfect Story"
Dirk Gently has an unshakeable belief in the interconnectedness of all things, but his Holistic Detective Agency mainly succeeds in tracking down missing cats for old ladies. Then Dirk stumbles upon an old friend behaving bizarrely - and he's drawn into a four-billion-year-old mystery that must be solved if the human race is to avoid immediate extinction.
The town psychiatrist has decided to switch everybody in Pine Cove, California, from their normal antidepressants to placebos, so naturally - well, to be accurate, artificially - business is booming at the local blues bar. Trouble is, those lonely slide-guitar notes have also attracted a colossal sea beast named Steve with, shall we say, a thing for explosive oil tanker trucks.
"Very funny, but perhaps not for everyone"
Master storyteller and satirist Kurt Vonnegut was one of the most in-demand commencement speakers of his time. For each occasion, Vonnegut’s words were unfailingly unique, insightful, and witty, and they stayed with audience members long after graduation. As edited by Dan Wakefield, this book reads like a narrative in the unique voice that made Vonnegut a hero to readers and listeners of all ages. At times hilarious, razor-sharp, freewheeling, and deeply serious, these reflections are ideal for anyone undergoing what Vonnegut would call their "long-delayed puberty ceremony".
"This IS nice"
P.J. O’Rourke began writing funny things in 1960s underground newspapers, became editor-in-chief of National Lampoon, then spent 20 years reporting for Rolling Stone and The Atlantic Monthly as the world’s only trouble spot humorist, going to wars, riots, rebellions, and other "Holidays in Hell” in more than 40 countries.
"Do not bother"
Downton Abbey has brought out the Anglophile in American fans of the hit TV series. But Anglophilia has a long history in America. Why are some native-born residents of our Shining City Upon a Hill, where All Men Are Created Equal, seduced by the fluting tones of manor-born privilege? At last, Anglophilia explained - in American, thank you.
"Failure to achieve objective."
A quirky and darkly comic take on domestic life in southern India. Ousep Chacko, journalist and failed novelist, prides himself on being "the last of the real men." This includes waking neighbors upon returning late from the pub. His wife Mariamma stretches their money, raises their two boys, and, in her spare time, gleefully fantasizes about Ousep dying. One day, their seemingly happy seventeen-year-old son Unni - an obsessed comic-book artist - falls from the balcony, leaving them to wonder whether it was an accident.
"Quirky, humorous, sad"
When Bonnie Grayduck relocates from sunny Santa Cruz California to the small town of Lake Woebegotten, Minnesota, to live with her estranged father, chief of the local two-man police department, she thinks she's leaving her troubles behind. But she soon becomes fascinated by another student - the brooding, beautiful Edwin Scullen, whose reclusive family hides a terrible secret. (Psst: they're actually vampires. But they're the kind who don't eat people, so it's okay.)
"Zombie book was better"
A Modest Proposal for Preventing the Children of Poor People in Ireland From Being a Burden to Their Parents or Country, and for Making Them Beneficial to the Public, commonly referred to as A Modest Proposal, is a Juvenalian satirical essay written and published anonymously by Jonathan Swift in 1729. Swift suggests in his essay that the impoverished Irish might ease their economic troubles by selling children as food. By doing this he mocks the authority of the British officials.
"Not a bad proposal at all"
They love nothing better than sipping free-trade gourmet coffee, leafing through the Sunday New York Times, and listening to David Sedaris on NPR (ideally all at the same time). Apple products, indie music, food co-ops, and vintage T-shirts make them weak in the knees. They believe they're unique, yet somehow they're all exactly the same.
"Bland simply bland!!!!"
The antidote to those cotton-candy platitudes that are all too familiar to anyone who’s ever worn a mortarboard, Wheelan’s 10 head-turning aphorisms - backed up by a PhD in public policy and extensive social science research - set the record straight. Readers everywhere agreed, turning a Dartmouth Class Day speech that had gone viral into a best-selling book.
"Wish I had someone tell me all of these things"
Meet Gregor Samsa, a humble young man who works as a fabric salesman to support his parents and sister. His life goes strangely awry when he wakes up late for work and discovers that, inexplicably, he is now a man-sized baby kitten. His family freaks out: Yes, their son is OMG so cute, but what good is cute when there are bills to pay? As his new feline identity threatens to eat away at his personality, Gregor desperately tries to survive this bizarre, bewhiskered ordeal by accomplishing the one thing he never could as a man: He must flee his parents’ house.
Sure, everyone gets sick sometimes, but do you realize that plenty of those folks also die slow, unpleasant deaths from diseases that stumped even the experts at top-notch (still privately run) hospitals? That's right: There are plenty of illnesses that even physicians have never heard about. Nodding Disease, Alice in Wonderland Syndrome, and Cutaneous Horn (yes, you grow a horn) are all featured here in pithy, energetic entries. You won't have to worry about socialized medicine if you have this book....
They were bored, broke, burned out, and turning 40, so when Ben and Dinah saw the advert looking for a husband and wife team with young kids to write a guidebook about family travel around Britain, they jumped at the chance. With naïve visions of staring moodily across Coniston Water and savouring Cornish pasties, they embark on a mad-cap five-month trip with daughter Phoebe, four, and son Charlie, two, embracing the freedom of the open road with a spirit of discovery and an industrial supply of baby wipes.
"Laugh, Learn and Cry a Bit"
It’s impossible to go a full day without using snark, so why fight it? Snark is everywhere, from television to movies to everyday life. This lively collection provides hours of entertainment - better than an Etch A Sketch, and more fun than Silly Putty! At the heart of it, being in a state of snark can be one of the most useful tools at one’s disposal and hence (yes, I used “hence”), a powerful way to get what you want. With snark, you can catch people completely off-guard, and royally piss them off.
"save your money"
Jude, a profoundly unsuccessful chicken farmer, finds himself at the center of Europe’s sovereign debt crisis when Europe’s economic elite convince him that his roofless henhouse needs to become too big to fail. What starts out as a simple roofing job quickly spirals into a hundred-billion euro project to cover Jude’s native Squanderland in solar panels. But when the latest Eurozone scheme plunges his homeland into darkness, Jude must decide whether listening to the experts or listening to his heart will ultimately save his homeland, himself, and his beloved hen, Enda.
The hilarious new spoof diet book from New York Times best-selling author Chris Dolley. It's a fun, quick listen, covering everything from "the science of possession" to "Crapper Clinic's Demon Dating Service", while ensuring "clients" are possessed by the demon most compatible with their slimming needs. This is the diet book that everyone is talking about.