Difficult Light

Mattie Gokey has a word for everything. She collects words, stores them up as a way of fending off the hard truths of her life, the truths that she can't write down in stories.

It's been over a year since all the adults disappeared. Gone. In the time since every person over the age of 14 disappeared from the town of Perdido Beach, California, countless battles have been fought: battles against hunger and lies and plague, and epic battles of good against evil. And now, the gaiaphage has been reborn as Diana's malicious mutant daughter, Gaia. Gaia is endlessly hungry for destruction.

The first time Elliott Youngblood spots Catherine Calhoun, he’s just a boy with a camera, and he’s never seen a sadder and more beautiful sight. Both Elliott and Catherine feel like outcasts, yet they find an easy friendship with each other. But when Catherine needs him most, Elliott is forced to leave town. Elliott finally returns, but he and Catherine are now different people. He’s a star high school athlete, and she spends all her free time working at her mother’s mysterious bed-and-breakfast. Catherine hasn’t forgiven Elliott for abandoning her, but he’s determined to win her back....

High school quarterback and town golden boy Brady used to be the best of friends with Willa - she even had a crush on him when they were kids. But that's all changed now: Her life choices have made her a different person from the girl he used to know. Gunner used to be friends with Willa and Brady, too. He, too, is larger than life and a high school football star - not to mention that his family basically owns the town of Lawton. He loves his life and doesn't care about anyone except himself. But Willa is the exception.

When Vicky Cruz wakes up in the Lakeview Hospital Mental Disorders ward, she knows one thing: She can't even commit suicide right. But for once, a mistake works out well for her, as she meets Mona, the live wire; Gabriel, the saint; E. M., always angry; and Dr. Desai, a quiet force. With stories and honesty, kindness and hard work, they push her to reconsider her life before Lakeview and offer her an acceptance she's never had.

In My Bonny Light Horseman, the infamous pirate, riverboat seductress, master of disguise, and street-urchin-turned-sailor Jacky Faber has been captured by the French and beheaded in full view of her friends and crew.Inconceivable? Yes! The truth is she's secretly forced to pose as an American dancer behind enemy lines in Paris, where she entices a French general into revealing military secrets--all to save her dear friends.

Life in a small Appalachian town is not easy. Cash lost his mother to an opioid addiction and his Papaw is dying slowly from emphysema. Dodging drug dealers and watching out for his best friend, Delaney, is second nature. He's been spending his summer mowing lawns while she works at Dairy Queen. But when Delaney manages to secure both of them full rides to an elite prep school in Connecticut, Cash will have to grapple with his need to protect and love Delaney, and his love for the grandparents who saved him and the town he has to leave behind.

When Danny discovers a taped-up box in his father's closet filled with old letters and a file on a powerful Silicon Valley family, he realizes there's much more to his family's past than he ever imagined. Danny has been an artist for as long as he can remember, and it seems his path is set, with a scholarship to RISD and his family's blessing to pursue the career he's always dreamed of. Still, contemplating a future without his best friend, Harry Wong, by his side makes Danny feel a panic he can barely put into words.

After a tumultuous year in New York City, the Austins are spending the summer on the small island where their grandfather lives. He's very sick, and watching his condition deteriorate as the summer passes is almost more than Vicky can bear. To complicate matters, she finds herself as the center of attention for three very different boys.

Before Elloren Gardner came to possess the White Wand of myth, the Wand was drawn to another bearer: Sagellyn Gaffney. Sage’s affinity for light magery, a rare skill among Gardnerians, makes her the perfect protector for the one tool that can combat the shadows spreading across Erthia. But in order to keep the Wand safe from the dark forces hunting for it, Sage must abandon everything she once knew and forge a new path for herself...a dangerous course that could lead to either triumph or utter ruin.

In 1935, 10-year-old Alex Maki from Bainbridge Island, Washington, is disgusted when he’s forced to become pen pals with Charlie Lévy of Paris, France - a girl. He thought she was a boy. In spite of Alex’s reluctance, their letters continue to fly across the Atlantic - and along with them, the shared hopes and dreams of friendship. Until the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor and the growing Nazi persecution of Jews force them to confront the darkest aspects of human nature.

It’s been years since 17-year-old Becca Hart believed in true love. But when her former best friend teases her for not having had a boyfriend, Becca impulsively pretends she’s been secretly seeing someone. Brett Wells has it all. As captain of the football team and one of the most popular guys in his school, he should have no problem finding someone to date, but he’s always been more focused on his future than who to bring to prom.

Hotshot pilot Vesper dreams of becoming a captain, but when she loses her spot to a wisecracking boy from the wrong side of the asteroid belt, she begins to question everything she thought she knew. Trapped on the toxic planet Deva, Cormak will take any chance he can to join the Academy—even if he has to steal someone's identity to get there. Arran was always an outcast on icy Chetire and is looking for a place to belong. He just never thought it would be in the arms of the hottest guy in the galaxy.

Sierra's family runs a Christmas tree farm in Oregon - it's a bucolic setting for a girl to grow up in, except that every year they pack up and move to California to set up their Christmas tree lot for the season. So Sierra lives two lives: her life in Oregon and her life at Christmas. And leaving one always means missing the other. Until this particular Christmas, when Sierra meets Caleb, and one life eclipses the other.

For years, Sebastian has been lying to himself, doing whatever it took to convince himself that Mikey was just his best friend and the pain in the ass that he couldn’t stop thinking about; and now... He would do absolutely anything to stop screwing this up, but that probably wasn’t going to happen, not with his brother determined to help him. With every soul-crushing piece of advice his brother threw his way, Sebastian found himself thinking about everything that he had to lose if Mikey didn’t feel the same way and wondered if he was about to make the biggest mistake of his life.

Manny lives by the rules—the rules that have kept him moving, kept him alive, and have helped him survive being thrust into adulthood long before he was ready. It’s been a year since breaking the rules got him cast out of his family. But the existence of an unidentified body found in the hills of Idyllwild, California is drawing him back to his deepest trauma because he may know who it is. Eli lives for the future—he’s put his entire faith into the teachings that raised him: family, duty, and love.

Once in your life, sometime after your first memory but before you can drive a car, something is going to happen to you that doesn’t happen to anyone else you know. It might be something good. It might be something bad, or special, or funny, or shocking. For Millie, it’s something really sad. Lolo, her neighbors’ infant daughter, dies—unexpectedly, suddenly, inexplicably—on the night Millie babysits. There’s nothing she could have done. There’s nothing she can do now. So how does she go on? She does what you’ll do. She finds her way.

Twelve-year-old Addie should stay away from Maple Lake. After all, her twin brother, Amos, drowned there only a few months ago. But its crisp, clear water runs in Addie's veins, and the notebook Amos left behind - filled with clues about a mysterious creature that lives in the lake's inky-blue depths - keeps calling her back.

Tensions are rising between the Quatrans and the Specters, and the Quatra Fleet is gearing up for an epic fight. With a galaxy on the brink of war and loyalties divided, the friendship of four cadets will be tested. Orelia has been arrested for espionage, and her future is looking bleak...until the Quatrans make her a surprising offer that could save her life - and the lives of everyone in the galaxy. Reeling from his breakup, Arran finds comfort in a sympathetic boy from Loos, someone who understands how hard it can be to fit in.

In Light Filters In, Caroline Kaufman - known as @poeticpoison - does what she does best: reflects our own experiences back at us and makes us feel less alone, one exquisite and insightful piece at a time. She writes about giving up too much of yourself to someone else, not fitting in, endlessly Googling “how to be happy”, and ultimately figuring out who you are.