Amusing Life

My name is Drew Hayes, and for the past six years I've made my living as a writer. In that time, I've published 20 books, written hundreds of thousands of words, and made countless mistakes - most of which I like to think I've learned from. Underqualified Advice (and Other Amusing Diversions) is my attempt to compile those lessons and share them with others, as well as have some fun along the way. Half of the book is dedicated to detailing specifics about writing, maneuvering the industry, and keeping fiscally afloat in largely unstable waters.

There are plenty of books that profess to tell you the meaning of life. But where can you go to find answers to the little mysteries of life that drive you nuts until you find their solution? Imponderables are questions that cannot be answered by numbers or measurements or standard reference books, and Feldman has devoted his life to the eradication of all imponderables.

How can Nexus be the Oracle? On a hardscrabble colony world, Nexus tracks a mysterious rat outbreak to a shy tortoise-like alien, who calls him Oracle. If his addled visions amount to fortune-telling, Nexus can’t read the tea leaves. He foresees alien crocs ravaging Earth and enslaving humanity. Another vision depicts him happy in love. How to evade human extinction and win the girl is unclear. Word leaks that Nexus is the new heir to a powerful fortune, compounding his social challenges. To save the human race, escape gold-diggers, repair his space mink, and win the woman of his dreams, ...

There are 1.371 million animal species on Earth, each with their own quirky characteristics. Keep listening to learn some bonkers and hysterical facts about a few of them! People won't protect things they don't love. People won't love things they don't know. Here's your kid's chance to get to know some awesome, amazing, and amusing animals! The world around us is fascinating, as is the wildlife in it. My goal is to inspire a love and respect for this planet that'll make the next generation socially and environmentally conscious and motivate them to protect the earth.

Nexus makes a movie. Nexus visits planet Pfaffen to make a movie, Hidden in Plain Sight, to popularize the new three-species alliance. He’d rather study the cloud-tree skylands. But his job is technical consultant, liaison to the aliens. All three species live on the Pfaffen skylands. But a croc spy base, and the reclusive testudo, remained hidden. Humans never knew. Three problems. First, Nexus’s digital friends demand equal standing as sentient species. He isn’t worried about the robot mink. But his translator was the victor in Earth’s AI Wars. Second, for the movie, aliens ...

Can fortune-telling prevent a war? Nexus and friends expect to enjoy their studies in sumptuous luxury on planet Sihnon, with leisure and elbow room. A few domestic misadventures in housing, medicine, and chopsticks, and they’re ready for deluxe virtual reality learning. First project, reassemble Space Academy from storage. Because with lifespans stretching centuries, the Colony Corps simply hires experienced crew. Next, a juicy mystery to unravel. Humans first learned of advanced aliens while investigating what killed a colony world. Too late, they found a hazard buoy left to warn off ...

Oh no! A decade birthday is approaching, one with a big "0" in it, and he's losing it. Wake-up call required. Coulda. Woulda. Shoulda. Marvin Baines seemingly has it all: a loving family and a great job. He is about to turn forty, and just like that, the realization hits him--his own mortality is straight up the road. That's not his only problem. Suddenly he is unable to distinguish fantasy from reality, and his often quirky decision-making causes his whole life to begin to unravel. All he wants is an escape from his humdrum life. What he gets is something quite unexpected. "The humour is ...