Kids Humor

Greg Heffley and sports just don't mix. After a disastrous field day competition at school, Greg decides that when it comes to his athletic career, he's officially retired. But after his mom urges him to give sports one more chance, he reluctantly agrees to sign up for basketball. Tryouts are a mess, and Greg is sure he won't make the cut. But he unexpectedly lands a spot on the worst team. As Greg and his new teammates start the season, their chances of winning even a single game look slim.

What happens to race car drivers when they eat too much? They get indy-gestion. Laugh-Out-Loud Jokes for Kids provides children ages seven-to-10 many hours of fun and laughter. Young listeners will have a blast sharing this collection of hundreds of one-liners, knock-knock jokes, tongue twisters, and more with their friends and family! This mega-best-selling book will have children rolling on the floor with laughter, and is sure to be a great gift idea for any child.

The Kidd siblings have grown up diving down to shipwrecks and traveling the world, helping their famous parents recover everything from swords to gold doubloons from the bottom of the ocean. But after their parents disappear on the job, the kids are suddenly thrust into the biggest treasure hunt of their lives. They'll have to work together to defeat dangerous pirates and dodge the hot pursuit of an evil treasure hunting rival, all while following cryptic clues to unravel the mystery of what really happened to their parents - and find out if they're still alive.

Picking up after Quint and Dirk's Hero Quest, the Last Kids are happily reunited—but quickly faced with a monstrous new mission. Inside an other-dimensional fortress, the evil Thrull, alongside a vile new villain, is carrying out a sinister plan. Jack, Quint, June and Dirk must make their own plans to infiltrate the stronghold before Thrull gets any closer to completing the mysterious Tower, a structure that could ultimately spell doom for this dimension.

Nesta Archeron has always been prickly-proud, swift to anger, and slow to forgive. And ever since being forced into the Cauldron and becoming High Fae against her will, she's struggled to find a place for herself within the strange, deadly world she inhabits. Against the sweeping backdrop of a world seared by war and plagued with uncertainty, Nesta and Cassian battle monsters from within and without as they search for acceptance - and healing - in each other's arms.

"Best Served Frozen is a chick flick with the meddlesome mothers-in-law played not by Goldie Hawn and Diane Keaton but more like...if the Kray Brothers were women."--Colin Quinn Revenge may be a dish best served cold, but hardened mother of seven Fionnuala Flood plans on serving hers up frozen. Or so she thinks. The bells are ringing out in Derry, Northern Ireland, as the dirt-poor Floods and the rich and entitled Riddells prepare for the pairing in matrimony of their families and a bridging of the gap between the two sniping communities. But some are not best pleased, and it might be more ...

The new director at Camp Lone Wolf seems like a nice guy. But when the kids learn the legend of a local boy who disappeared and the wolf that prowls the campgrounds howling in the night, they start to wonder if Camp Lone Wolf is more than just a name. Mr. Jenkins is covered in hair, eats his meat almost raw, and has an obsession with wolves. But could he really be a werewolf?

The cat that Olive rescues from a flood has a secret: He's not really a cat at all, but an alien who crashed to Earth on a beam of light. The cat, whom Olive names Leonard, was prepared to visit the planet as a human - but something went wrong. Now Leonard may never know what it's like to hold an umbrella, go bowling, or host a dinner party. (And his human jokes still need some work: Knock, knock. Who's there? Just Leonard. It is me.)

Millions of people visit xkcd.com each week to read Randall Munroe's iconic webcomic. His stick-figure drawings about science, technology, language, and love have a large and passionate following. Fans of xkcd ask Munroe a lot of strange questions. What if you tried to hit a baseball pitched at 90 percent of the speed of light? How fast can you hit a speed bump while driving and live? If there were a robot apocalypse, how long would humanity last?

Sixth grader Greg Heffley doesn't understand his annoying younger brother, obnoxious older one, or well-meaning parents. But he knows enough to record his daily thoughts in a manly journal - not some girly diary. In a unique novel brimming with laugh-out-loud moments, Greg chronicles his first turbulent year of middle school.

Meet Mackenzie Blue, aka Zee. She has it all--smarts, talent, humor, and style. Is it enough to survive middle school? Countdown to a 7th Grade Meltdown: 1. Your BFF moves away. 2. Someone steals your diary and reveals your deepest secrets--to the entire class. 3. You have one chance to become a rock star and one chance to totally blow it. Guess what!? All three happened to me! School's a disaster already. Don't get me wrong--I love Brookdale Academy and I have a fabulous crew of friends. (At least, I think I do.) But, if I'm going to survive, I need all the help I can get!

Mouse is rarely seen without one of his beloved pet mice. He is never far from his mystery solving best friend, Rebekah, and now he has started his very own secret club.

Join him, Rebekah and three other classmates as they set out to have a little fun creating practical jokes and magic tricks while hopefully staying out of trouble in the process.

To escape the stress of the holidays, the Heffleys decide to get out of town and go to a resort instead of celebrating Christmas at home. But what's billed as a stress-free vacation becomes a holiday nightmare.

Amelia Wishart was the first child ever to receive a Christmas present. It was her Christmas spirit that gave Santa the extra boost of magic he needed to make his first trip around the world. But now Amelia is in trouble. When her mother falls ill, she is sent to the workhouse to toil under cruel Mr. Creeper. For a whole year, Amelia scrubs the floors and eats watery gruel without a whiff of kindness to keep her going. It's not long before her hope begins to drain away.

Get ready for a whole new look into Jeff Kinney's Diary of a Wimpy Kid! Introducing the newest Wimpy Kid author - Rowley Jefferson! Rowley's best friend Greg Heffley has been chronicling his middle-school years in 13 Diary of a Wimpy Kid journals...and counting. But it's finally time for listeners to hear directly from Rowley in a journal of his own. Rowley writes about his experiences and agrees to play the role of biographer for Greg along the way. But Rowley is a poor choice for the job, and his "biography" of Greg is a hilarious mess.

Grab a flashlight, crawl under the covers, and dive into the twisted, unexpectedly hilarious world of Rowley Jefferson’s imagination. You’ll meet zombies, vampires, ghosts, and much more in these comically terrifying tales. Rowley’s spooky stories might leave you laughing, but beware - you could end up sleeping with the lights on!

If you’re a fan of A Series of Unfortunate Events, Edward Scissorhands, or the darkest bits of Roald Dahl, the Weirdie triplets - Barnacle, Garlic, and Melancholy - will feel like old friends. After being left behind when the entire estate of Deadeye Manor is packed up for a doomed vacation cruise, the triplets have to learn how to fend for themselves.

A Boston Globe-Horn Book Honor Book and ALA Notable and Best of the Year in Young Adult Fiction, Howl's Moving Castle is by acclaimed fantasy writer Diane Wynne Jones and was transformed into an Academy Award nominated animated motion picture by Hayao Miyazaki. On a rare venture out from her step-mother's hat shop, Sophie attracts the attention of a witch, who casts a terrible spell transforming the young girl into an old crone.

When Alexander wakes up with gum in his hair, he thinks that maybe it’s going to be a bad day. When he trips on the skateboard by his bed and drops his sweater in the sink, he knows it’s going to be even worse than he thought. His brothers find fabulous prizes in their cereal boxes; he finds cereal. His best friends get fancy desserts in their lunch boxes; Mom forgets dessert. From being scrunched in the car on the way to school all the way to lima beans for supper and kissing on TV (yuck!), the day just keeps getting worse. It’s enough to make him want to move to Australia.

Can you keep a secret? Stella Batts has a lot of secrets to keep these days - there's the secret of what really happened to her little sister's pet fish, and there's the secret school project she's working on with her friend Lucy, and there's the secret on the second floor of her family's candy store. Actually, Stella doesn't know the candy store secret yet, because her dad won't tell her. Even though she's eight years old, and that's old enough to be trusted!