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Steve Vernon

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  • Kelpie Dreams | Steve Vernon

    Kelpie Dreams

    • UNABRIDGED (7 hrs and 17 mins)
    • By Steve Vernon
    • Narrated By Cheyenne Bizon
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    Meet Lady Macbeth - a high school librarian, ex-assassin, and part-time kelpie, whose mother wanted to name her Hemorrhoid at birth. Now she has to take on a Sea Hag - eight legs of Godzilla-ugly poured into a bucket full of meanness - with the help of a one-woman army named Rhonda, a 200-year-old sea captain, and a hunky lighthouse keeper who won't admit that he's dead as well. Kelpie Dreams is a funny, action-packed, shoot-em-up paranormal romance novel for folks who hate romance novels.

  • Hammurabi Road: A Tale of Northern Ontario Vengeance | Steve Vernon

    Hammurabi Road: A Tale of Northern Ontario Vengeance

    • UNABRIDGED (2 hrs)
    • By Steve Vernon
    • Narrated By Robert Thaler
    • Whispersync for Voice-ready
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    Hammurabi Road is a dark redneck-noir novella of retribution, backwoods justice, and getting closer to a black bear than was ever dreamed possible. We start off with the eternal triangle - four men ride out in a pick-up truck; three in front and one duct-taped and bound in the back. It is a clear-cut case of Northern Ontario railroad vengeance, served up as cold as a frozen hunting knife. Fans of the movie and television series Fargo are going to love Hammurabi Road.

    pete says: "Wowsa"
  • Roadside Ghosts | Steve Vernon

    Roadside Ghosts

    • UNABRIDGED (2 hrs and 32 mins)
    • By Steve Vernon
    • Narrated By J. C. Hayes
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    Ghost stories. Everyone knows one. Everyone can tell you one. Ghost stories haunt and linger and tantalize. Come on along with Steve Vernon - ghost story collector, writer, and teller - as he brings you eight of the creepiest yarns imaginable, stories that will creep up on you and teach you the fine old art of the booga-booga. Eight stories - including Steve's haunting salute to the road gang, "The Forever Long Road of Olan Walker". Walk down this road, if you'd like to. Or better yet - run!

    Jim "The Impatient" says: "BIG WASN'T A BIG ENOUGH WORD FOR THE BIG MAN"
  • A Fine Sacrifice: A Tale of Redneck Noir | Steve Vernon

    A Fine Sacrifice: A Tale of Redneck Noir

    • UNABRIDGED (20 mins)
    • By Steve Vernon
    • Narrated By Brandon Woodall
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    Will has got a secret. He keeps that secret hidden in the field out back behind his house. Sam and Artie will do just whatever Will tells them to do because they know what Will's secret is, and they will do anything to make sure that Will doesn't lose his temper on them.

    Yes, More Books Please! says: "Baseball, Meet Shirley Jackson"
  • Big Hairy Deal: A Creep Squad Novel | Steve Vernon

    Big Hairy Deal: A Creep Squad Novel

    • UNABRIDGED (5 hrs and 18 mins)
    • By Steve Vernon
    • Narrated By Joe Cliff Thompson
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    So what happens when Bigfoot, the Trickster Coyote, the ghost of Sam Steele and the long-lost spirit of The Prophet, brother to the mighty Tecumseh and reincarnated in the form of a giant pink flying Winnebago go toe-to-toe with dark supernatural forces in a cross-Canada battle ranging from Cape Breton to Labrador to Thunder Bay? I'm not saying that it is going to be pretty...  

    Oswald says: "I'm Not Saying It Was Pretty But it sure was funny"
  • Sea Tales: Stories to SERIOUSLY Creep You Out | Steve Vernon

    Sea Tales: Stories to SERIOUSLY Creep You Out

    • UNABRIDGED (3 hrs and 22 mins)
    • By Steve Vernon
    • Narrated By Stephen Richard Planalp
    • Whispersync for Voice-ready
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    Let's face it. About 75 percent of the world is covered in water - and of that water nearly 97 percent of it can be found in the sea. Maritimers will tell you that there is a story for every wave that has ever washed upon the shoreline. Here are seven of them.  

  • A Blurt in Time: The Tale of a Time-Traveling Toilet | Steve Vernon

    A Blurt in Time: The Tale of a Time-Traveling Toilet

    • UNABRIDGED (6 hrs and 30 mins)
    • By Steve Vernon
    • Narrated By David Carroll
    • Whispersync for Voice-ready
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    Burt was certain that if he hadn't hit King Kong with Darth Vader's head, he would not have fallen into that Citadel Hill time-traveling toilet. He wouldn't have met and been shot by the one-armed ghost, and he would not have found himself in the wrong place at the wrong freaking time. A Blurt in Time is a YA time-travel horror story that grown-ups will want to hear when the kids aren't looking.

  • Uncle Bob's Red Flannel Bible Camp: The Book of Genesis | Steve Vernon

    Uncle Bob's Red Flannel Bible Camp: The Book of Genesis

    • UNABRIDGED (5 hrs and 39 mins)
    • By Steve Vernon
    • Narrated By Scott Allen
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    Here it is. The whole entire story of the Book of Genesis as told to you by the world's oldest storyteller, Uncle Bob. If you think you know the truth behind the Bible Stories you really ought to pick up a copy of this book. If you are one of those folks who thinks that it is bad manners to giggle a little in church - well, you might want to take a good listen to the sample before you go throwing down any of your hard-earned money. This isn't exactly a solemn retelling of the Bible. In fact, I guarantee a giggle or two along the way. The fact is this is the story of the Book of Genesis as retold by a country gentleman who read the Bible a couple of times and is doing his level best to retell it in his own words.

  • Bigfoot Tracks: A Creep Squad Collection, Volume 1 | Steve Vernon

    Bigfoot Tracks: A Creep Squad Collection, Volume 1

    • UNABRIDGED (1 hr and 16 mins)
    • By Steve Vernon
    • Narrated By Joe Cliff Thompson
    • Whispersync for Voice-ready
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    Everything that you have read about Bigfoot is a lie. Everything that you have heard about Bigfoot is the truth! Enjoy three stories from the files of The Creep Squad - that pack of cryptids, legends, and nondescript rumors who fight crime and misjustice anywhere that you aren't looking. What if all the stories were true? What if Bigfoot really did exist? What if he depended upon people's belief in him for his very existence? What if he needed a job and the only one he was suited for was keeping the other legends in their place?

    BKS says: "Refreshing, seriously"
  • Two Fisted Nasty | Steve Vernon

    Two Fisted Nasty

    • UNABRIDGED (2 hrs and 40 mins)
    • By Steve Vernon
    • Narrated By Ben Maclaine
    • Whispersync for Voice-ready
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    Welcome to the hard streets. These are four of the nastiest stories I have ever written: "Leftovers", "Statistic", "Soul Survivor", and "Dopple Dribble".

    Jim "The Impatient" says: "Grief: The Uninvited Party Guest That Never Leaves"
  • October Tales: Seven Creepy Stories | Steve Vernon

    October Tales: Seven Creepy Stories

    • UNABRIDGED (1 hr and 34 mins)
    • By Steve Vernon
    • Narrated By Stephen Wolfe
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    You can smell that long-dying aroma of Autumn in the air. Kids are talking trick or treat and the leaves are already screaming at you in red and yellow and deep golden rust as they prepare for one final parachute down into the dirt. The tombstones are talking amongst themselves and winter is hiding just around the corner. It is the time of the year when people draw around the wood stove and the campfire and whisper stories of death and omens and ghosts and things that don't even have a name.

  • Dopple Dribble: You Will Never Look at a Basketball the Same Way Again | Steve Vernon

    Dopple Dribble: You Will Never Look at a Basketball the Same Way Again

    • UNABRIDGED (20 mins)
    • By Steve Vernon
    • Narrated By Theo Holland
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    His name was Adam Kyler. He had eyes as black as licorice jujubes and a spit curl hooked across his forehead that reminded me of a young Superman. He was nine years old. It wasn't his fault he was standing in the alley, but I shot him just the same.... Dopple Dribble is a story of revenge from beyond the grave and I guarantee you without a shadow of a doubt that after you hear this story, the very next time that you hear the sound of some kid walking down the sidewalk under the streetlights dribbling a basketball you are going to spend the rest of the night scared stiff.

    Richard G. says: "Short and Spooky!"
  • Do-Overs and Detours: Eighteen Eerie Tales | Steve Vernon

    Do-Overs and Detours: Eighteen Eerie Tales

    • UNABRIDGED (6 hrs and 26 mins)
    • By Steve Vernon
    • Narrated By Richard Peterson
    • Whispersync for Voice-ready
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    Detours are amazing creatures. A detour can cut your existence short or it can lead you down a long road that will linger far into the distant reaches of eternity. These unexpected tangents, which people stumble across nearly every day, will haunt you in a frighteningly familiar fashion. I offer you 18 eerie tales of fantasy, horror, science fiction, and all around strangeness that will take you to the edge of the map and then nudge you just a little bit further.

  • The Forever Long Road of Olan Walker | Steve Vernon

    The Forever Long Road of Olan Walker

    • UNABRIDGED (47 mins)
    • By Steve Vernon
    • Narrated By Adam Gold
    • Whispersync for Voice-ready
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    Olan Walker was first out of the slat truck and he could have slid through one of the slats. That man was nothing but lank. He was as lean as a dog in Lent. He was as lean as hunger poured thinner than a spoon full of prison soup. He looked like he ate nothing but wind and shadow all his life. If there was a king and queen of skinny; a duke of raw bone, an earl of gaunt, and a prince of scrawny - well Olan Walker was the lord high ruler of them all.

    Jess B says: "Less than an hour long, but what great writing!"
  • Long Horn, Big Shaggy | Steve Vernon

    Long Horn, Big Shaggy

    • UNABRIDGED (3 hrs and 16 mins)
    • By Steve Vernon
    • Narrated By Larry Oliver
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    "There's things out there that you ain't dreamed of. Like back-from-the-dead mountain men, green ghost mountain spirits, carrion stallion, time-traveling mad scientists and zombified buffalo... just for starters." This weird western novella starts at a gallop and gathers momentum faster than a stampeding avalanche. You will never look at a severed head the same way again.

    Jim "The Impatient" says: "THIS WAS NO TIME FOR POETRY"
  • Nothing to Lose: The Adventures of Captain Nothing | Steve Vernon

    Nothing to Lose: The Adventures of Captain Nothing

    • UNABRIDGED (1 hr and 19 mins)
    • By Steve Vernon
    • Narrated By Dennis Serra
    • Whispersync for Voice-ready
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    So you think you know all about superheroes? Those guys in the capes and the lightly starched spandex speedoes? Leaping tall buildings and always getting the girl? You don't know nothing. Join Steve Vernon, Nova Scotia's hardest working horror writer, as he takes you into the world of Captain Nothing. It's a world without hope, a world that is as cold and dark as a landlord's heart, three days after the rent is due. It's a world that could give the Batman a case of the squirming night fears.

    Jim "The Impatient" says: "Guilty Pleasure"
  • Bad Valentines: Three Twisted Love Stories | Steve Vernon

    Bad Valentines: Three Twisted Love Stories

    • UNABRIDGED (1 hr and 24 mins)
    • By Steve Vernon
    • Narrated By David Woodfin
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    Love is one of those four-letter words that people like to throw around, but sometimes love can be one of the meanest and nastiest games in town. If you have ever had your heart broken - then this audiobook is for you. If you enjoy the taste of strong meat - then this audiobook is for you. If you've got a sense of weird that is honed as sharp as a cutthroat's knife - then this audiobook is for you. Here are three of the strangest love stories you have ever read.

  • Rueful Regret | Steve Vernon

    Rueful Regret

    • UNABRIDGED (3 hrs)
    • By Steve Vernon
    • Narrated By Charles Craig
    • Whispersync for Voice-ready
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    Meet Bass Clayton, a bounty killer turned professional drunkard. Silver Grimes is the man who inadvertently turned Bass Clayton into a drunk; after Bass accidentally shot Silver's arm off with an eight gauge shotgun. Sally Jezebel has a secret that she is keeping from both of them. Their lives are going to turn when Newt Gallagher comes riding into Willy Jake's bar on top of Pritcher Targate's prize sow. What you have got to ask yourself is just how far one man will go for revenge?

  • Built for Hanging On: A Post-Apocalyptic Love Story: Steve Vernon's Sea Tales, Book 5 | Steve Vernon

    Built for Hanging On: A Post-Apocalyptic Love Story: Steve Vernon's Sea Tales, Book 5

    • UNABRIDGED (29 mins)
    • By Steve Vernon
    • Narrated By Stephen R. Planalp
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    It happened just yesterday or perhaps the day before. The bombs were dropped. No one knew why. Whatever the reason, due diligence was undoubtedly done and all aspects were carefully considered. Certainly the motion was passed around the Senate a time or two. After all, an election was coming. Every vestige of civilization was blown away, save for a few stubborn traces barnacled along the grim fringes of existence. Like say, maybe the Maritimes....

  • Finbar's Story: Steve Vernon's Sea Tales, Book 4 | Steve Vernon

    Finbar's Story: Steve Vernon's Sea Tales, Book 4

    • UNABRIDGED (47 mins)
    • By Steve Vernon
    • Narrated By Stephen R Planalp
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    Water is a liar. If you tell a story with water it cannot be trusted and it will wash away in the first hard rain or in the tears of a long good cry. And stories told in blood and stone stick longer by far. Listen. Finbar Tanner is telling a story to his son, Isaac. It is a story of love, desire, and sacrifice. It is a story of blood and water and stones. It is a story of the deeper currents that flow within a man's heart. It is a story of the sea.

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