The sex stopped, the silence started, and now you're strangers sharing a bed. In this podcast episode, marriage, sex, and intimacy coach Irene Fehr unpacks why passion so often cools in long-term marriages - and how you can rekindle intimacy in your sexless marriage without pressure, blame, or performance anxiety.

When Irene’s libido completely disappeared in her own marriage, she felt broken and alone. Her sexless marriage ultimately ended in divorce. Now Irene guides couples past the point where the passion in their relationship fades and helps them reconnect on every level, regardless of their age.

In this deep conversation, Irene reveals why so many couples slide into sexless marriages or roommate dynamics and the three most common mistakes couples make when trying to “fix” their disappearing sex lives. Irene also tackles taboo realities, including mismatched desire, attraction changes, affairs, open marriages, and whether broken connection can genuinely be rebuilt.

If you and your spouse have slipped into being just “roommates,” and you’re worried your marriage will either be eternally sexless, or end in divorce, listen to this podcast episode. Irene will show you how you can rekindle your passion (or rebuild it after an affair) so you can create the lasting intimacy you long for.

About Irene

Irene Fehr, MA, CPCC, SEP is a Marriage Sex & Intimacy Coach who helps heterosexual couples make love and sex work over the long term — including bringing passion back into a sexless relationship. Determined to dispel myths about why sex dies in a long-term relationship, her views have been featured globally in HuffPost, Cosmopolitan, Shape, Refinery29, ScaryMommy, EliteDaily, and Bustle. Through her coaching, she guides couples at different stages of the relationship via three core pathways — Rekindling Us (rediscovering passion at midlife), Rebuilding Us (transforming crisis into connection), and Creating Us (laying a strong foundation for lasting love and sexual intimacy for new couples) — always anchored in the principle of consciously and intentionally choosing “us.”

Connect with Irene

You can connect with Irene on LinkedIn at Irene Fehr and on Facebook at Ignited Woman. You can follow Irene on Instagram at Ignited Woman and on her YouTube channel at Ignited Woman. To find out how to work with Irene visit her website at Ignited Woman.

Links to articles mentioned in podcast

Why Your Partner Won’t Get Couples Counseling and How to Get Them On Board

3 Warning Signs of Divorce and How to Address Them Before It's Too Late

Karen Covy is a Divorce Coach and Consultant, Lawyer, Author, and Speaker who is dedicated to helping people make the best decisions possible for themselves, their families, and their future - especially in stressful times. You can check out Karen's videos on YouTube.

You can connect with Karen on LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and on her own website at karencovy.com.

What if one decision could give you a 24% inflation‑adjusted raise to your retirement for life? Financial planner Eric Blake reveals the hidden complexities of Social Security that could cost you thousands—or help you maximize your retirement income if you know the rules. From understanding full retirement age to navigating spousal and survivor benefits, Eric breaks down the critical decisions that can make or break your financial security in retirement.

The discussion covers essential Social Security strategies, including when to start claiming benefits, how working affects your payments, and the tax planning opportunities available at age 70. Eric explains the crucial differences between spousal benefits and survivor benefits and why understanding these distinctions matters for your financial future – especially if you’re divorced.

Eric also clarifies the often-misunderstood rules around ex-spousal benefits, including the critical 10-year marriage requirement and how remarriage affects your eligibility to get Social Security benefits based on your ex’s status (… which you can claim without your ex-spouse's knowledge or consent!)

Whether you're approaching retirement, recently divorced, or widowed, understanding these Social Security rules could mean the difference between financial struggle and financial security.

About Eric

Eric Blake is a CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER® professional and the founder of Blake Wealth Management, specializing in helping women 55+ navigate retirement with clarity and confidence. With more than 25 years of experience, Eric provides strategies to optimize investments, create reliable income, and minimize taxes. Inspired by his mother and grandmother’s financial journeys, Eric has a personal passion for empowering women to take control of their financial future

Connect with Eric

You can connect with Eric on LinkedIn at Eric Blake and on Facebook at Eric Blake. You can follow Eric on Instagram at Eric Blake, on YouTube at The Simply Retirement Podcast and on his podcast The Simply Retirement Podcast. To find out more about Eric’s work visit his website at Blake Wealth Management.

Free Resource

Grab Eric’s Top 6 Social Security Guides and Checklists for Women -

Ultimate Guide to Women's Social Security Success.

Karen Covy is a Divorce Coach and Consultant, Lawyer, Author, and Speaker who is dedicated to helping people make the best decisions possible for themselves, their families, and their future - especially in stressful times. You can check out Karen's videos on YouTube.

You can connect with Karen on LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and on her own website at karencovy.com.

Some decisions feel impossible - until you shrink them to the next doable step. Accountability coach Jill Consor Beck shares how tiny, sustainable actions can help you make massive decisions and manage tasks (like divorce) that seem overwhelming at first.

Through daily text check-ins, Jill guides her clients through the mental clutter that keeps them stuck - whether they're navigating divorce, launching a side hustle, or simply trying to carve out 15 minutes for themselves in an impossibly packed day.

Jill’s accountability method breaks big, complicated “to-dos” into bite-sized moves you can finish in minutes: like reviewing two pages of a large agreement each day, instead of endlessly procrastinating over reading the whole thing at once. She invites clients to practice “strategic subtraction” (doing less to achieve more), to shift from extrinsic to intrinsic motivation, and to adopt a “survive and advance” mindset when life gets messy.

If you can’t decide what to do because the decision you’re facing is too big, or if your divorce “to-do” list has you totally paralyzed, this is podcast episode can help you unlock your own mind and finally move forward.

About Jill

Jill Consor Beck is an accountability coach who gets it—she spent 30 years in a pressure-cooker career, including 10 years in investment banking and 20 years in tech, running on Diet Coke and exhaustion while completely neglecting her own health. After hitting her breaking point and being diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis, she discovered how to make small, sustainable changes that transformed her life without guilt or overwhelm. She now coaches clients via text, holding them accountable through daily nudges that put them on a path to living the life they're entitled to—whether that's getting physically healthy, making more time for mental health, taking steps toward financial well-being, or finally starting that side hustle they've been talking about. Her approach isn't about adding more to your packed schedule; it's about creating accountability for the small daily choices that add up to the life you actually want to live.

Connect with Jill

You can connect with Jill on LinkedIn at Go Long and on Facebook at Just Go Long. You can follow Jill on X at JLC Beck, on Instagram at Just Go Long and on YouTube at Just Go Long Video. To learn more about Jill’s work visit her website at Go Long.

Karen Covy is a Divorce Coach and Consultant, Lawyer, Author, and Speaker who is dedicated to helping people make the best decisions possible for themselves, their families, and their future - especially in stressful times. You can check out Karen's videos on YouTube.

You can connect with Karen on LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and on her own website at karencovy.com.

WARNING: This episode might be triggering for anyone who has experienced or is trying to heal from domestic violence, sexual abuse, financial abuse or any type of intimate partner abuse. Listener discretion is advised.

What if the love you've been desperately seeking could actually kill you? Dana Diaz knows this reality firsthand. She spent nearly three decades in a marriage where the emotional abuse was so severe that her body began to shut down. What’s worse is that the seeds of her suffering were planted long before adulthood.

Raised by a distant, neglectful mother and an abusive stepfather, Dana grew up believing that love and pain were inseparable. That early conditioning left her vulnerable to repeating the same cycle in marriage, a cycle that would take her decades to escape.

When her marriage became abusive, she found herself accepting treatment she knew was wrong, because it was the only version of "love" she'd ever known. The consequences were devastating. Her body produced such astronomically high levels of stress hormones that her immune system turned against her, leaving her skeletal, oxygen-dependent, and facing organ failure in her early 40s.

Through careful planning, hidden savings, and ultimately having the courage to choose herself, Dana escaped a situation that escalated to threats, gunshots, and a legal system that initially failed to protect her.

Today, Dana is healthy, remarried, and dedicated to helping others recognize the signs of narcissistic abuse and reclaiming their lives. Her book Gasping for Air: The Stranglehold of Narcissistic Abuse chronicles her journey from victim to survivor to advocate, offering hope to anyone wondering if they deserve better.

This episode, which was originally published in October, 2023, is being replayed here to support Domestic Violence Awareness Month.

NOTE: If you or someone you know is experiencing intimate partner abuse, please contact the domestic violence hotline as soon as possible.

National Domestic Violence Hotline 800-799-7233

About Dana

Dana studied journalism and psychology at DePaul University. She has also had life-long experiences with narcissistic abuse. Thankfully her education gave her the ability to accurately express how narcissistic abuse creates confusion and conflict within victims.

Today, Dana is a proud voice for fellow victims who are unable, afraid, or too ashamed to share their experiences. She strives to create awareness and understanding to ensure victims are given the support they need to both understand their situation and heal from it.

Connect with Dana

You can learn more about Dana and her story on her website Dana S Diaz. Dana also has a quiz to help you determine if you are in a relationship involving narcissistic abuse.

You can follow Dana on Facebook at Dana S Diaz and Instagram at Dana S Diaz. You can get your copy of Dana's best-selling book, "Gasping for Air: The Stranglehold of Narcissistic Abuse

Karen Covy is a Divorce Coach and Consultant, Lawyer, Author, and Speaker who is dedicated to helping people make the best decisions possible for themselves, their families, and their future - especially in stressful times. You can check out Karen's videos on YouTube.

You can connect with Karen on LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and on her own website at karencovy.com.

What happens when divorce strips away not just your marriage, but your very sense of who you are? Licensed clinical social worker Debra Alper reveals why so many people emerge from divorce feeling completely lost – especially when they’ve been in emotionally abusive marriages.

Drawing from decades of experience, Debra explains the hidden process of self-erosion that starts long before the divorce papers are filed. The slow buildup of unmet needs, quiet compromises, and unconscious bargains that happens in emotionally abusive marriages often leaves you disconnected from the core of your being.

When divorce happens, you find yourself not only grieving the relationship you lost, but also questioning your own identity. Healing from this kind of trauma isn’t just about getting through the legal or financial parts of divorce. It’s about reclaiming your voice and rebuilding your inner foundation.

From navigating high-conflict divorce and the grief that comes with it, to treating post-divorce dating as a learning lab, you’ll discover how to move from reactivity to intentional choice. If you feel numb, overwhelmed, or unsure how to dream again, this podcast episode will give you permission to play, to daydream, and to let small wins stack into lasting change.

It will show you how to heal, and how to love again.

About Debra

Debra Alper is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and owner of Life Transitions Counseling, PLLC, specializing in relational therapy, helping clients to identify and recover from emotional abuse and divorce process and recovery. She has worked extensively since 1999 with individual clients striving to experience deeper, more meaningful relationships, couples in the midst of marital crisis around infidelity and unhappy, lonely relationships, and clients struggling to get through the emotional and life changing hurdles of pre and post-divorce. She also works extensively with clients in emotionally abusive relationships helping them to understand the dynamics that keep them stuck and aiding them in moving out of toxic patterns.

Connect with Debra

You can connect with Debra on LinkedIn at Debra Alper, LCSW and find out more about how to work with Debra by visiting her website at Life Transitions Chicago.

Karen Covy is a Divorce Coach and Consultant, Lawyer, Author, and Speaker who is dedicated to helping people make the best decisions possible for themselves, their families, and their future - especially in stressful times. You can check out Karen's videos on YouTube.

You can connect with Karen on LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and on her own website at karencovy.com.

In this episode of Breakthrough Divorce Coaching, Anne, a divorcing mom caught in a three-year court battle, opens up about what it’s really like to navigate a high-conflict divorce when abuse, manipulation, and gaslighting don’t end just because your marriage does.

Despite restraining orders and years of separation, Anne still finds herself fighting to protect her child’s safety and emotional well-being while trying to keep her own head above water. Her story exposes the toll that prolonged litigation and co-parenting with a toxic ex can take. It also illustrates the heartbreaking reality that the legal system isn’t built to solve these deeply human problems.

Anne’s breakthrough comes when she starts to shift her focus from battling her ex to building her child’s resilience. Instead of pouring more money into a court system that can’t fix what’s broken, Anne explores how to empower her child with coping skills, emotional awareness, and a sense of safety that no court order can provide.

What begins as a story about legal frustration turns into one of strength, insight, and breaking the cycle of abuse, showing that sometimes, the most powerful victory is raising a child who knows their own worth.

Karen Covy is a Divorce Coach and Consultant, Lawyer, Author, and Speaker who is dedicated to helping people make the best decisions possible for themselves, their families, and their future - especially in stressful times. You can check out Karen's videos on YouTube.

You can connect with Karen on LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and on her own website at karencovy.com.

What if one weekend could deliver the clarity and progress of months of traditional marriage counseling? In this podcast episode, licensed clinical counselor Ann Cerny reveals a revolutionary approach to couples therapy that combines cutting-edge brain science with personalized intensive sessions that can transform your marriage, no matter how far gone you think it is.

Her weekend retreats go far beyond typical weekly therapy sessions, offering hope for marriages on the brink of separation through a carefully curated experience that addresses the deepest patterns keeping couples stuck.

During her intensive weekend format, Ann guides couples through transformational exercises that teach them how to truly listen and speak while managing their own reactive patterns at the same time.

For couples considering whether their relationship is salvageable, Anne offers a powerful reframe: the question isn't whether your marriage is fixable, but rather how committed you are to doing the work and examining your own contribution to the dynamic.

If you and your spouse are struggling to keep your marriage together, and traditional marriage counseling isn’t working for you, this episode just might change your marriage … and your life.

About Ann

Ann is a licensed clinical counselor in both Illinois and California. She specializes in couples therapy for people who are interested in changing their dynamics today, and need it to stick. For couples who are ready for deep and lasting change, Ann's couples intensives are a personalized experience for one couple at a time, in Sausalito and Palm Desert, California. It is ideal for couples who are in crisis or considering separation, are healing from betrayal or emotional distance, want to rebuild trust and intimacy, or need focused time but can't commit to weekly therapy. One dedicated weekend can deliver the clarity and progress of months of therapy, because the relationship gets curated time and attention it needs and deserves.

Connect with Ann

You can connect with Ann on LinkedIn at Ann Cerney and follow Ann on Instagram at Cerney Coaching. To find out more about Ann’s work visit her website at Cerney Coaching.

Karen Covy is a Divorce Coach and Consultant, Lawyer, Author, and Speaker who is dedicated to helping people make the best decisions possible for themselves, their families, and their future - especially in stressful times. You can check out Karen's videos on YouTube.

You can connect with Karen on LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and on her own website at karencovy.com.

Thirteen years of marriage, seven years of sacrifice, nine months of hell – and now she faces the hardest choice of her life. Toki Simmons, a business leader who “has it all together,” shares the raw truth about how her marriage is in crisis behind the scenes,

After spending seven years of being caregivers for her husband's mother, Toki expected her husband to deeply grieve her death when she passed away in January. What she didn't anticipate was the rage, anger, and emotional breakdowns that would follow – behaviors she'd never witnessed in her husband before. Now she's wrestling between compassion for his loss while questioning how long she can sustain a marriage that's fundamentally changed.

Her breakthrough comes through learning a completely different approach to communication … one that comes from her heart instead of her head.

For anyone balancing professional success with private relationship struggles, this episode offers validation and practical guidance. It's a reminder that behind every strong woman is sometimes a marriage in crisis, and that acknowledging this truth isn't weakness – it's the first step toward either healing or making difficult choices with clarity and compassion.

Karen Covy is a Divorce Coach and Consultant, Lawyer, Author, and Speaker who is dedicated to helping people make the best decisions possible for themselves, their families, and their future - especially in stressful times. You can check out Karen's videos on YouTube.

You can connect with Karen on LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and on her own website at karencovy.com.