“When the house is quiet, the feelings are loud.” If you’re facing Christmas (or any holiday) without your kids, this episode is your survival guide.

Andrea Rappaport and Morgan Stogsdill talk about one of the most painful parts of divorce: the first (or early) holidays when your children are with the other parent. The anxiety can start days in advance, and the empty-house silence can feel unbearable — but Morgan reminds listeners that this is usually a moment in time, not a sign that you made the wrong decision about divorce.

You’ll hear real, practical tools for getting through the day hour-by-hour (doggy paddling counts), what not to do when you’re spiraling, and why “effective support” matters. You’ll also get tips for keeping conversations with your kids positive, avoiding emotional landmines, and making a plan that helps you survive the holiday — without shame, stalking your ex, or numbing yourself into oblivion.

1. Why holidays without your kids after divorce can feel like a crisis moment
2. How to tell the difference between grief and a “divorce decision”
3. Why “two truths can coexist” (you can be doing the right thing and it can hurt)
4. The best coping strategies for surviving Christmas without your children
5. What not to do: social media spirals, isolating, stalking your ex, emotional decisions
6. Why moving your body helps your mind calm down (“an exhausted body is a calm mind”)
7. How to use community support (even anonymously) when you feel alone
8. How to talk to your kids without making them feel responsible for your emotions
9. Co-parenting communication tools (and why OurFamilyWizard helps when rules aren’t followed)
10. Morgan’s “Chad” story: how making a plan helped a parent survive the first Christmas alone
11. Why leaving the house is the #1 non-negotiable tool (even a drive-through counts)

Andrea says it best: no amount of self-care candles fixes the fact that your kids aren’t here. Missing your children doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you’re hurting.

Morgan sees clients question everything during the holidays — but she rarely sees people truly halt divorce because of it. These feelings are real, but they’re usually temporary.

You don’t have to “thrive” today. You just have to get through it. Hour-by-hour is allowed.

Here’s your breakdown, straight from Morgan + Andrea:

1. Walk outside if you can
2. If it’s cold: use a short YouTube workout video
3. If you hate workouts: get in your car and go somewhere...

If you're overwhelmed, exhausted, pretending you’re fine, or Googling “How to pretend I'm not miserable in my marriage and ruin Christmas?” this conversation is exactly what you need.

December hits differently when your marriage feels heavy. In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Morgan and Andrea break down why the holidays can push you into emotional overdrive and why that does not automatically mean you need to file for divorce today. From understanding the difference between a crisis moment vs. a clarity moment, to learning the now-iconic Pantry Party Plan, this episode gives you practical strategies to stay grounded, calm, and emotionally safe during one of the most triggering months of the year.

Andrea and Morgan open the episode with a message so many listeners need to hear:

You’re going to be okay.

Holiday stress isn’t proof that your marriage suddenly collapsed — it’s proof that December is a pressure cooker.

Friends. Traditions. Money. Kids. Expectations. Fake joy.

Your nervous system is maxed out, and that’s normal.

A crisis moment feels like:

1. wanting to flee your house
2. hiding in the pantry
3. crying out of nowhere
4. fantasizing about driving away and not coming back
5. panic bubbling in your chest

These moments do NOT require divorce decisions.

A clarity moment feels like:

1. “Yep… this marriage still doesn’t feel right.”
2. annoyance, sadness, or distance
3. noticing repeating patterns
4. calm recognition of misalignment

Clarity = information

Crisis = not the time to act

This distinction alone saves listeners from major mistakes.

December will give you a moment where you need to step away — mentally or physically.

Andrea introduces the Pantry Party Plan, a simple, strategic grounding tool to stop panic from running the show.

Step 1: Set a timer.

1. 3 minutes → small wobble
2. 5–7 minutes → medium crisis
3. 10 minutes → major meltdown prevention

Step 2: Exhale first.

Panic makes it nearly impossible to breathe in.

So start by pushing out all your air, then allow the inhale.

Step 3: Add your mantra.

Pick something that makes you laugh, relax, or feel powerful.

Andrea’s?

“Bitches ain’t shit.”

Find one that works for YOU.

Morgan breaks down the legal + emotional side:

1. holiday traditions when you're unhappy
2. forced family time
3. pretending everything is...

This episode is especially helpful if you’re searching for:

1. How to prepare for divorce without filing
2. Emotional separation before divorce
3. How to survive the holidays before divorce
4. What is a silent divorce?
5. How to tell your spouse you want a divorce (but not yet)
6. Divorce timing strategy
7. How to protect kids during separation

If you’re quietly planning your next chapter, this one is for you.

In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Morgan Stogsdill and Andrea Rappaport dive deep into the concept of the silent divorce: the unofficial, emotional separation that happens when one or both partners know the marriage is ending, but they're not ready to officially file yet.

If you're feeling emotionally checked out, unsure of timing, scared of disrupting the holidays, or stuck in a “limbo marriage,” this episode helps you understand what a silent divorce is, the signs you're in one, and most importantly : what to DO about it.

Andrea and Morgan break down two scenarios:

1️⃣ When both spouses know divorce is coming but are waiting.

2️⃣ When only one spouse knows, and the other has no idea.

You’ll hear practical guidance, emotional support, and legal strategy to help you prepare without panicking, protect your kids, and avoid major divorce mistakes.

Plus, you’ll hear hysterical QuickBooks chaos, psychic readings on Oak Street, and a glamorous side quest to the Waldorf Astoria. Classic HNTSAD energy.

How emotional withdrawal and parallel living become the early stage of divorce long before filing papers.

– Minimal communication

– Loss of intimacy

– Roommate vibes

– Emotional loneliness

– Avoidance of conflict

– No partnership energy

Do this:

1. 
   
2. 
   
3. Keep things predictable
4. 
   
5. 
   
6. 
   
7. Set temporary boundaries (separate bedrooms, shared spaces, routines)
8. 
   
9. 
   
10. 
    
11. Treat this time as preparation, not limbo
12. 
    

Emotions don’t win in divorce court — facts and strategy do. In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, divorce attorney Morgan Stogsdill and comedian-turned-divorce-advocate Andrea Rappaport walk you through how to negotiate your divorce like a pro using their THINK framework:

• T – Take the emotion out of it
• H – Have realistic non-negotiables
• I – Identify their pain points
• N – Negotiate from facts, not feelings
• K – Keep your BATNA in mind (your best backup plan)

If the idea of mediation, settlement conferences, or sitting across from your ex makes you want to hide in a hole, this episode is your game plan. You’ll learn how to work with your lawyer instead of against them, what’s actually realistic to ask for, how to use what you know about your ex as legal leverage, and why clinging to your emotions can cost you big money, time, and sanity.

Whether you’re just starting your divorce, heading into mediation, or trying to wrap up a long, exhausting case, this episode will help you stay out of court if possible, save money, and make smarter decisions for you and your kids.

• Why “facts win” in divorce
• How emotions spiral, stories get twisted, and why judges and mediators care about documents, numbers, and timelines — not drama.
• T = Take the emotion out of it
• Andrea’s “Ziploc bag and freeze your feelings like a 2018 pot roast” strategy
• How to notice when you’re triggered in mediation (hello, Brenda and Chad)
• What to say to your lawyer when you’re about to lose it — and when to zip it and let them speak for you
• H = Have realistic non-negotiables
• The difference between must-haves and nice-to-haves
• Why “I want 100% custody” usually isn’t realistic
• How to decide which holidays, financial terms, or parenting provisions are truly non-negotiable
• Morgan’s example of a client who refused to accept any end date on maintenance — and why that was realistic in her case
• I = Identify their pain points
• How to “play detective” and figure out what your ex really cares about (ego, money, reputation, time with kids, a specific property, etc.)
• Morgan’s story of using a husband’s obsession with a particular property to get her client more money on the balance sheet
• Why negotiation is less about what you want and more about what motivates them
• N = Negotiate from facts, not feelings
• Why you should write your facts in clear bullet points, not emotional paragraphs
• How “friend of the family” promises and verbal side deals (hi, John 🙃) don’t count in court
• The power of real numbers and real documents: appraisals, bank statements, incomes, and written offers
• K = Keep your BATNA in mind
• What BATNA actually means in divorce: Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement
• How to think about your “backup plan” if mediation doesn’t work — i.e., what a judge is likely to do with your facts
• Why knowing your BATNA calms panic, helps you avoid low-ball offers, and keeps you from spending more on legal fees than you stand to gain
• When it’s actually smarter to stop fighting, accept a good-enough deal, and go home
• What to really expect from mediation
• Why the first day of mediation often feels “wasted” and why it’s actually valuable intel
• How good lawyers use...

If you want the real truth about divorce, buckle up. In this episode, Andrea and Morgan deliver the unfiltered, uncomfortable, absolutely-necessary truths your lawyer wishes you understood…but might be too afraid to say directly.

From how the legal system really works to why your expectations are sabotaging your sanity, this episode is the wake-up call you need if you’re navigating divorce, co-parenting, or even just preparing for that dreaded Thanksgiving dinner with your very opinionated family.

This one is honest, hilarious, a little unhinged (hi Andrea), and packed with strategic guidance that will help you avoid major mistakes.

The legal system doesn’t care about fairness. It’s designed for equitable distribution, not emotional justice.

Morgan breaks down why the courts aren’t built to punish your ex — even when you deeply (and correctly) feel they deserve it.

Why your expectations are often unrealistic, what “the range” actually means in divorce outcomes, and how lowering your expectations protects your mental health and your wallet.

Andrea reminds listeners that different states = different standards. Don’t guess. Don’t Google. Ask your lawyer to explain what’s realistic where YOU live.

Your ex won’t suddenly transform into a better human mid-divorce. (Brenda does not become Glinda.) Focus on your responses, your regulation, and your strategy.

How to shut down intrusive family commentary (“That’s not fair!”) and exactly what to say at the holiday table when everyone wants details about your divorce.

Andrea shares her own emotional story about her first Thanksgiving without her kids, and how focusing on what she could control changed everything.

Use a communication app like OurFamilyWizard to protect yourself legally and emotionally — especially with the ToneMeter feature that stops you from sending something you’ll regret.

• The legal system is not designed to make you feel better.
• Your ex won’t change just because you’d like them to.
• Your attorney isn’t your therapist.
• Fairness is not a legal standard. Equitable is.
• Focusing on your ex keeps you stuck.
• You are responsible for asking your lawyer the right questions.
• Your expectations need to be realistic, not emotional.

00:00 — Hard truth: nothing about divorce is “fair”

00:05 — Why the legal system will NOT give you justice or revenge

00:21 — Show intro

01:12 — Morgan’s chaotic morning + the freight elevator monkey situation

02:38 — Why a small client gift boosted the entire legal team

03:26 — Andrea’s shocking weekend text to Morgan

04:30 — Kim Kardashian’s “All’s Fair”: Andrea’s surprising review

05:36 — HARD TRUTH #1: Lower your expectations

08:43 — How to “bet on yourself” when everything feels unstable

10:08 — The

If you’re in the middle of a divorce and constantly asking yourself “WHY is this happening?”, this episode is about to save you money, misery, and a whole lot of emotional tailspinning.

This week, Andrea and Morgan dive deep into the question that can either move your divorce forward—or completely derail you: WHY.

When is asking why strategic?

And when is it a waste of attorney fees (or your sanity)?

To help break it all down, we’re joined by Cary J. Mogerman, one of the most respected divorce attorneys in Missouri. Cary brings decades of experience, a wise-professor vibe, and a no-nonsense approach to helping clients understand the process clearly, calmly, and strategically.

Cary J. Mogerman is one of the most highly regarded divorce lawyers in Missouri and wellknown to other top family law attorneys throughout the United States. He is a Fellow of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers and in 2022, served as President of the national organization. He is a Diplomate of the American College of Family Trial Lawyers, an invitation-only assemblage limited to 100 members throughout the United States; Cary is a member of its executive committee. He is a Fellow of the International Academy of Family Lawyers.

https://carmodymacdonald.com/people/cary-j-mogerman/

In this conversation, you’ll learn:

• Why “Why is this happening to me?” is a therapist question—not a lawyer question
• How to ask WHY in a way that strengthens your strategy, saves money, and reveals leverage
• Why understanding your spouse’s emotional triggers can completely shift mediation
• The one communication mistake clients make that drives lawyers insane
• When your lawyer should break things down in plain language
• Why slowing down your responses (yes, YOU) will prevent disaster
• How to stop burning money on the wrong kind of questions
• Why the legal process feels slow, confusing, and unfair—and what to do with that
• How to advocate for yourself without apologizing

PLUS: Andrea reveals a HUGE co-parenting milestone (Shabbat dinner with the ex… yes, seriously), and Morgan talks through why listeners were so triggered by last week’s episode—and what that means for your own healing.

This is the episode you NEED if you’re negotiating, mediating, litigating, co-parenting, or just trying to get through the day without rage-texting your ex or panic-emailing your lawyer.

“Why is this happening?”

“Why is he acting like this?”

“Why is she being crazy?”

These are human questions—but not legal ones.

They belong in therapy, not in your billable hours.

Why are we filing this motion?

Why is this our mediation plan?

Why is my ex reacting this strongly to ONE issue?

These help your attorney build a smarter, more effective case.

Cary breaks down why attorneys NEED to simplify their communication—and why you should never feel embarrassed asking:

“Can you explain that in normal-person English?”

You know your spouse better than anyone.

Your insights help your attorney negotiate smarter and faster.

You’re not being chased by a bear.

Slow down. Breathe. Don’t respond immediately.

You can literally save thousands of dollars by...

If the idea of “healthy co-parenting” makes you want to throw your phone, this episode is for you. Comedian Andrea Rappaport and powerhouse family law attorney Morgan Stogsdill sit down with co-parenting expert and bestselling author Jon Bassford, JD, MBA, CAE, whose real-life story of turning a hostile divorce into a functional, daily-communication co-parenting dynamic will shock you—in the best way.

Jon's new book, The Co-Parenting Secret: It's Not About You, doesn't sugarcoat the difficulty or pretend everyone can be friends. Instead, it offers a revolutionary reframe: stop thinking about "my time" or "their time" and start thinking about your child's life. It challenges the toxic win/lose mindset and offers a new model: collaborative parenting focused on emotional safety, communication, and showing up for your kid every time.

His message resonates with divorced, separated, dating-but-split, or any parents navigating two-home situations, because it's not about having a friendly ex or following a perfect plan. It's about making intentional choices that prioritize your kids above your own convenience, preferences, or pride.

Jon is also a TEDx speaker, CEO of Lateral Solutions, and brings 20+ years of executive leadership to his work but this book isn't about applying business frameworks to family life. It's about the messy, honest journey of getting co-parenting right after getting it wrong.

Jon didn’t start with unicorns and rainbows. There was resentment, trash-talking, incompatible living… the whole messy thing. But he learned the intentional steps that transform co-parenting from a battleground into actual teamwork. In this episode, we dig into what co-parenting looks like when it’s real, what to do when your ex refuses to cooperate, and why saying “Of course” instead of “Fine” could change literally everything.

Whether you’re co-parenting with a narcissist, parallel-parenting with someone who refuses to meet you halfway, or just trying to not lose your mind over a simple schedule swap, you’ll walk away with mindset shifts, scripts, action steps, and legal strategy you can use TODAY.

Jon and his ex did not get along at first. There was hostility, miscommunication, and resentment — just like what most people experience. Progress happens in baby steps, not giant leaps.

Your instinct is to say “no.” That’s human. But dropping your guard and choosing calm over chaos immediately changes your internal state. Less spiraling, less anger, less anxiety.

Morgan breaks down how tools like Our Family Wizard create evidence showing you are the reasonable parent. If a judge ever needs to get involved, this matters A LOT.

Jon explains how resentment destroys your peace more than it punishes your ex. Letting go isn’t excusing behavior — it’s freeing yourself.

Co-parenting gets easier when you know why you’re doing it: stability for your child, emotional peace for yourself, and a healthier long-term dynamic.

00:00 — Why “our natural reaction is to say no”

00:17 — Morgan explains the legal strategy behind saying “yes”

00:31 — What saying “of course” does for you

00:57 — Andrea on isolation during divorce

01:12 — Why connecting with community matters

01:27 — Truly Engaging partnership + holiday card...

This week, Morgan and Andrea flip the script and want you to SUCK at divorce. Yep, you read that right. Learn how to Set aside your feelings, Utilize experts, Calm your nervous system, and Know the facts: a game-changing framework that’ll help you make better decisions (and fewer expensive mistakes) during your divorce.

From cortisol spikes to co-parenting apps, nervous-system hacks, and even Amazon finds that actually don’t suck, the girls cover it all ...with the perfect blend of legal insight, emotional honesty, and wine-soaked humor you’ve come to expect.

• Why your emotions are the worst business partners during divorce — and how to manage them
• How to think like a CEO (even when you feel like a hot mess)
• When and how to actually use your divorce experts
• Simple science-based tricks to calm your body in moments of panic
• How to separate facts from feelings to protect your sanity (and your wallet)

S – Set aside your feelings

U – Utilize experts

C – Calm your nervous system

K – Know the facts (and stick to them)

Timestamps:

05:01 – The Hulu Show That Made Us Cringe

Andrea reviews All’s Fair — the all-female divorce firm drama starring Kim Kardashian — and the verdict? “It sucks.” (Which turns out to be the perfect segue…)

07:46 – Introducing the SUCK Acronym

Morgan and Andrea unveil a new framework that will actually help you survive your divorce with your dignity intact:

S – Set aside your feelings

U – Utilize experts

C – Calm your nervous system

K – Know the facts (and stick to them)

09:02 – Step 1: Set Aside Your Feelings

Morgan explains the science behind emotional flooding (hello, cortisol!) and how to think like a businessperson instead of a brokenhearted one.

10:34 – Andrea’s Advice for the Highly Emotional

If you can’t be calm — pretend to be someone who can. Channel your inner TV badass (minus the tire-slashing).

11:35 – Step 2: Utilize Experts

Morgan reminds listeners: you hired your experts for a reason. Don’t go rogue.

12:55 – Why Ignoring Your Attorney’s Advice Backfires

Andrea walks through what happens when clients do the opposite of what their lawyer says — and how to avoid a legal disaster.

15:59 – Step 3: Calm Your Nervous System

Andrea and Morgan dig into the physical side of stress. What happens in your body when your ex drops a bombshell — and how to get your calm back.

17:54 – Morgan’s “20-Minute Rule” for Freakouts

She shares a practical strategy: take 20–30 minutes before responding to any major divorce news. No driving, no emailing, no rage-texting.

19:44 – Andrea’s Panic-Proof Toolkit

The “panic attack queen of Chicago” shares her science-backed tricks: movement, cold exposure, vagus-nerve activation, and a hilarious deck of cards that actually help.

22:29 – Step 4: Know the Facts and Stick to Them

Morgan explains why emotional storytelling wastes time and money — and how bullet-pointed facts will save your case.

23:50 – Feelings Aren’t Facts

Andrea breaks down why your opinions about “Brenda being a nut job”...