If you think you’re messing up your divorce… relax.

In this mini episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Morgan Stogsdill and Andrea Rappaport bring you a much-needed mental break with five outrageous, real-life divorce stories that prove one thing:

No matter how chaotic your situation feels… someone is doing it worse.

From a $15,000 bedazzled Buddha that cost double to fight over in court, to a couple who spent $100,000 litigating an ashtray (yes, really), to a husband who tried to avoid divorce by claiming he was technically a zombie — this episode highlights the wildest ways people derail their own divorce cases.

Because here’s the truth: divorce is emotional, but court is not.

And when pettiness, revenge, or ego drive decisions, the only real winner is the attorney bill.

1. Why fighting over sentimental items can cost more than they’re worth
2. The $100,000 ashtray case (and why judges lose patience)
3. The legal consequences of “in-game crime” during divorce
4. The Beyoncé “To the Left” security system revenge moment
5. The infamous “zombie defense” divorce case
6. Why judges see more chaos than you realize
7. How not to let ego drive your legal strategy

While this mini episode brings humor, the underlying message is serious:

✔️ Petty fights cost real money

✔️ Emotional reactions extend litigation

✔️ Judges have seen everything — including wackadoo defenses

✔️ Revenge may feel good, but it rarely plays well in court

✔️ Strategy > spectacle

Divorce can feel overwhelming, nauseating, and heavy. Sometimes you need a break — and sometimes you need perspective.

If you’re doggy-paddling through your divorce, consider this your reminder:

You are not alone.

You are not the most chaotic case in the courthouse.

And you can absolutely get through this.

1. Join our free, confidential divorce community
2. Check out the updated Divorce Crash Course
3. Explore our downloadable divorce guidebooks

Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course

Our Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Living with alcoholism can make you question everything—your judgment, your boundaries, even your reality. If you’re thinking about divorcing an alcoholic (or you’re not ready to leave yet, but you know something has to change), this episode is for you.

Morgan Stogsdill and Andrea Rappaport sit down with Jeff Wright, an insurance brokerage founder and mentor who has helped countless people navigate toxic, alcohol-fueled relationships—shaped by his own childhood experience with an abusive alcoholic parent.

Together, they unpack why leaving an alcoholic spouse can feel impossible (even when the situation is clearly unsafe), how trauma bonds keep people stuck, and what “self-preservation” really looks like when you’re trying to protect your children and your sanity.

You’ll also learn the practical steps to take before you file: who to talk to (and who not to), how to make a plan quietly, how to build confidence when you feel shattered, and what legal tools can help keep kids safe—including monitoring options like Soberlink, testing, and supervised parenting time.

If you’ve been surviving in chaos, consider this your permission slip to stop normalizing it—and start building a path out.

1. Why living with an alcoholic partner can distort your reality and decision-making
2. The real reasons people stay (hint: it’s often not money)
3. What a trauma bond is and why “they hurt you, then hug you” feels like love
4. How alcoholism impacts the drinker’s brain—and why denial can be extreme
5. How to assess your home environment: stress signals, kids’ behavior, and “waiting for them to come home” tension
6. What self-preservation actually means: privacy, planning, and choosing the right support
7. Why your divorce attorney is not your therapist—and why you need both
8. Concrete action steps: quiet planning, go-bag/documents, separate accounts, and rebuilding confidence
9. Legal tools that can support safety for kids (monitoring/testing options and structured parenting arrangements)

1. 00:00 The reality: alcoholism can make you question your judgment and reality
2. 00:57 Sponsor: OurFamilyWizard + discount code
3. 02:11 Who this episode is for (especially if you haven’t left yet)
4. 03:07 Meet Jeff Wright and why this is his mission
5. 06:07 Jeff’s childhood with an abusive alcoholic father (and lasting impact)
6. 08:17 Morgan explains why this becomes “normal” when you’re living it
7. 10:29 Why people don’t leave: kids, fear,...

Think emailing your divorce lawyer is the “cheapest” way to communicate? Think again.

In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Morgan (yes, Morgan is solo because Andrea has the flu 😷) breaks down one of the most expensive mistakes people make during divorce: sending emotional, scattered emails instead of getting real strategy.

We’re talking about when to email, when to call, when a face-to-face meeting is worth every penny, and how to show up prepared so you’re not paying for chaos. Plus: switching attorneys (when it’s time and when it’s not), pre-divorce “move smarter” tips, how to protect evidence, what to know about non-marital assets, beneficiary red flags, and why tax implications can become negotiation leverage.

Bottom line: you need a plan—and you don’t get one by spiraling in your inbox.

1. Why a phone call or face-to-face attorney meeting can be more cost-effective than emails
2. How to stop reacting to your ex’s “urgent” messages and start operating with divorce strategy
3. The best way to prep for billable time: bullet points, goals, and an objective
4. When it makes sense to consult another attorney (without immediately switching)
5. What “collect evidence” actually means—and where to store it safely
6. Why you should document what you entered the marriage with (non-marital assets)
7. The red flag nobody thinks about: beneficiary changes during divorce
8. How divorce-related tax implications can become powerful negotiation points

1. 00:00 Why face-to-face meetings can be more valuable (and cost-effective) than email
2. 01:15 Sponsor: OurFamilyWizard (co-parenting app / discount code)
3. 01:45 Morgan explains why Andrea is out + why this episode is a must-listen rerun
4. 03:48 The “nine emotional emails” problem—and what to do instead
5. 06:47 Secret #1: You don’t have to respond to everything on your ex’s timeline
6. 08:38 How to call your attorney with bullet points (and an objective)
7. 09:37 When a phone call isn’t enough and you need face-to-face strategy
8. 12:34 Secret #2: Move your body before you make decisions
9. 15:02 Secret #3: You can switch attorneys (but don’t do it while activated)
10. 20:38 Secret #4: Large purchases pre-filing (why timing...

If your ex is still controlling you and you keep reacting, explaining, or trying to keep the peace… you might be actively hurting your legal case without even realizing it.

Because here’s the thing: divorce doesn’t cure controlling behavior—it often exposes it. And control doesn’t always look loud. Sometimes it looks “polite.” Sometimes it looks like silence. Sometimes it looks like a thousand tiny moments that make your stomach drop.

In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, attorney Morgan Stogsdill and comedian Andrea Rappaport break down what control looks like after separation, why it escalates, and the legal + emotional action steps to shut it down.

And yes—there’s also a story involving a tambourine, a fire-lit “happiness class,” and a man casually threatening everyone with a tombstone. (Welcome to the show.)

Morgan explains that control can look like:

1. Financial control: “I’ll pay when I feel like it,” monitoring spending, moving goalposts
2. Micromanaging parenting and second-guessing everything you do
3. Weaponized silence / delayed responses to make you spiral
4. Making you feel like you need permission for decisions you don’t need permission for
5. “Polite” manipulation disguised as “concern for the kids”

Andrea explains the psychology: when someone loses access and power, they often pull harder—because control is how they regulate their discomfort.

Morgan explains how controlling behavior can drive a wedge between you and your attorney—making you doubt your lawyer, hold back details, or get pulled into the ex’s narrative.

That’s not just stressful. It can derail your strategy and cost you serious money.

If your nervous system is hijacked every time they text you, you’ll default to the old pattern:

1. Reacting
2. Over-explaining
3. Trying to smooth things over
4. Trying to get them to “understand”

Which gives them exactly what they want: access.

Morgan explains why vague agreements don’t work with controlling people.

Example of vague: “reasonable communication.”

Problem: “reasonable” becomes a playground for manipulation.

Because (say it with us): control fades when access fades.

That may mean:

1. limiting communication
2. using a parenting app
3. not responding to bait
4. pushing...

Rushing a divorce can cost you money, leverage, and peace—especially if you’re dating, listening to family “advice,” or skipping the right experts. In this episode, Morgan Stogsdill and Andrea Rappaport break down the most common divorce regrets and the smart, strategic moves to avoid them.

In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Morgan and Andrea unpack the most common divorce regrets they see over and over again: the ones that quietly cost you money, complicate custody, drag out the process, and make you look back thinking… why did I do that?

Get real divorce advice your lawyer may be too polite to share. We break down unpopular divorce opinions and practical divorce tips that can save you thousands of dollars in legal fees, reduce stress, and help you avoid costly mistakes. How Not to Suck at Divorce is the divorce podcast for people who want clarity, strategy, and support

From rushing because you’ve moved on romantically, to letting your dad become your “legal strategist,” to skipping experts like OurFamilyWizard because you’re trying to save money—this is your highlight reel of what not to do (and what to do instead).

And yes… Billy Bob Thornton and Angelina Jolie make an appearance. Because apparently six marriages is one way to earn a PhD in divorce.

1. The #1 regret: rushing your divorce and leaving money on the table
2. Why “I want to be divorced by March” can backfire fast
3. How outdated financials and an old balance sheet can cost you thousands
4. Why your new partner should not be part of the divorce “mischigas”
5. The danger of letting family and friends influence legal decisions
6. How well-meaning parents can accidentally run up your legal bill
7. When outside experts (forensic accountants, co-parenting tools, therapists) actually save you money
8. Why trying to “cheap out” can lead to a future court nightmare
9. The difference between fighting for what matters vs. fighting over balsamic vinegar
10. How to decide what’s worth it (and what’s just ego, fear, or control)

When you’re desperate to be done, you cut corners. That’s how people sign agreements with missing details, outdated account values, or unclear parenting language—then regret it later.

Do this instead: Ask your attorney if your timeline is realistic, and if it is—map the steps from A to Z.

Your new person may mean well, but they are not your lawyer—and emotionally, it can start poisoning the relationship fast.

Do this instead: Process the divorce with your therapist, your support system, and your attorney—not your new partner.

Even smart, loving parents can unintentionally derail the strategy—especially when they aren’t in the day-to-day “trenches” of your case.

Do

When your divorce is dragging because the other side won’t respond, it can feel like psychological warfare—especially when kids and money are on the line. In this episode, Morgan Stogsdill and Andrea Rappaport break down what’s actually happening when a divorce case stalls, how to tell the difference between normal delays and strategic stalling, and what to do next.

You’ll learn the practical legal steps attorneys use to create structure—like mediation deadlines, motions to compel, subpoenas, depositions, and discovery strategies—plus the mindset shifts that keep you from spiraling and spending thousands of dollars reacting emotionally. Bottom line: when the time is right, get aggressive—because talk is cheap.

Stalling is one of the most common (and most infuriating) divorce experiences, and it happens for a few big reasons:

1. They don’t have their shit together (missing documents, incomplete financials, no affidavit, disorganized life)
2. They think you’ll panic and settle cheap just to end the pain
3. It’s a power play (silence = control, especially with high-conflict people)
4. Their attorney is overwhelmed, under-resourced, or occasionally strategic (timing money events like bonuses, etc.)

The good news: stalling isn’t a dead end. It’s a problem that can be solved with structure, strategy, and sometimes court pressure.

Before you go scorched earth, ask this exact question:

“Is this delay normal… or is this strategic stalling?”

Morgan explains that a good attorney can often tell you:

1. whether the other lawyer is just chronically slow/unorganized, or
2. whether the other side is intentionally dragging things out to wear you down.

These two scenarios require totally different responses.

Stalled cases usually move when there’s something real on the calendar:

1. court dates
2. motion hearings
3. trial dates
4. mediations with firm deadlines

Morgan’s most practical advice:

If nothing is moving, push for a trial date. Even if the first date doesn’t “stick,” a real end date creates pressure—and pressure creates movement.

Tell your attorney you’re frustrated and ask:

1. Is this normal?
2. What’s the standard timeline in this jurisdiction?
3. What steps do we take in order if they don’t comply?
4. At what point do we file something?

This helps you avoid spending money “going aggressive” too early… only for the judge to give them another two...

If you’ve spent more than five minutes on TikTok, Reddit, or Instagram, you’ve seen it everywhere: “My co-parent is a narcissist.” And we get why that label feels validating. It gives your pain a name.

But here’s the problem: labels don’t carry weight in court — behavior does. And when you lead with a diagnosis you can’t prove, you risk looking reactive, emotional, or unreliable in the one place where credibility matters most.

In this episode, we’re joined by two powerhouse custody attorneys — Kristen Holstrom and Samantha McBride (the Custody Queens) — to explain what actually helps you win: specific facts, consistent documentation, strong boundaries, and a strategy that keeps you from getting pulled into emotional warfare.

1. Why calling your ex a narcissist can backfire legally and emotionally
2. The difference between traits vs. a true clinical diagnosis (and why it rarely shows up in court)
3. What judges care about most in custody cases: co-parenting and facilitating the other parent’s relationship
4. How to build a case using patterns, timelines, and evidence
5. Why social media is forever (even if you delete it)
6. How co-parenting apps like OurFamilyWizard can protect you and create documentation
7. “Chess, not checkers”: how to stop reacting and start controlling your side of the street
8. Why custody evaluations can go sideways when you show up with labels instead of facts

Courts don’t decide custody based on “he’s a narcissist.” They decide based on what happened, how often, and how it impacts the children.

If you sound like you’re diagnosing your ex, you may unintentionally look like the unstable one — especially in high-stakes settings like custody evaluations.

Posting, reposting, liking, or commenting on “narcissist” content can be used against you. Even deleted posts can come back via screenshots.

Tools like OurFamilyWizard don’t mean you failed. They mean you’re building guardrails and a paper trail.

When you’re organized, strategic, and documenting the right things, you get your power back.

1. Drop the label. Keep the facts.
2. Replace “He’s a narcissist” with: “He missed 7 pickups in 30 days.”
3. Build a timeline.
4. Dates, times, missed exchanges, late pickups, medical info withheld, school info excluded.

One minute you feel strong, clear-headed, and relieved… and the next you’re sobbing in your car wondering if you just destroyed your life. If you feel emotionally unrecognizable during divorce, you are not alone—and you’re not “doing it wrong.”

In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, attorney Morgan Stogsdill and comedian/marketing guru Andrea Rappaport break down the emotional rollercoaster of divorce—why it happens, why it’s normal, and how letting emotions drive decisions can create legal and financial consequences you can’t unwind.

You’ll learn how to adopt emotional neutrality (without becoming emotionless), why realistic expectations protect your sanity, and the exact do’s and don’ts that help you stay grounded—especially when kids and co-parenting are involved.

1. Why divorce triggers “emotional whiplash” (relief, guilt, rage, panic, regret—sometimes all at once)
2. The difference between feelings vs. facts in divorce decision-making
3. Why emotional highs aren’t the problem—expectations are
4. Why emotional lows don’t mean you’re making the wrong choice
5. What “emotional neutrality” actually means (and why it’s self-preservation)
6. How to ask your attorney for realistic expectations and a Plan B
7. The biggest mistakes people make when they’re activated (and how to avoid them)
8. Practical ways to regulate your nervous system and get off the rollercoaster

If you’re in the early stages of divorce—or you’re already activated—here’s what Andrea and Morgan want you to do:

✅ 1) Adopt emotional neutrality

1. “That meeting went well. Okay.”
2. “That meeting didn’t go well. Okay.”
3. Neutrality is not numbness. It means your feelings are not in charge.

✅ 2) Ask for realistic expectations (every time)

When something goes well, ask your attorney:

1. “What’s a realistic expectation from here?”
2. “What if this strategy doesn’t work—what’s our Plan B?”

✅ 3) Don’t make permanent decisions in temporary emotional states

Morgan’s legal rule: if you’re activated, you pause—not react.

✅ 4) Stabilize with routine

Predictable routines regulate your nervous system when your life feels unpredictable.

✅ 5) Write it down—don’t react

Journal the emotion, then bring it to your therapist (not your attorney). Your attorney is your legal guide—not your emotional support system.

✅ 6) Choose ONE safe person

Avoid oversharing with people who escalate you (you know who you are, “Tina from the bar” 😅).

✅ 7) Use tools that reduce conflict

Consider structured communication support