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Understanding the Borderline Mother
- Helping Her Children Transcend the Intense, Unpredictable, and Volatile Relationship
- Narrated by: Heather Auden
- Length: 9 hrs and 48 mins
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Publisher's Summary
The first love in our lives is our mother. Recognizing her face, her voice, the meaning of her moods, and her facial expressions is crucial to survival. In this book, Dr. Christine Ann Lawson vividly describes how mothers who suffer from borderline personality disorder produce children who may flounder in life even as adults, futilely struggling to reach the safety of a parental harbor, unable to recognize that their borderline parent lacks a pier, or even a discernible shore.
Four character profiles describe different symptom clusters that include the waif mother, the hermit mother, the queen mother, and the witch. Children of borderlines are at risk for developing this complex and devastating personality disorder themselves. Dr. Lawson's recommendations for prevention include empathic understanding of the borderline mother and early intervention with her children to ground them in reality.
Addressing the adult children of borderlines and the therapists who work with them, Dr. Lawson shows how to care for the waif without rescuing her, to attend to the hermit without feeding her fear, to love the queen without becoming her subject, and to live with the witch without becoming her victim.
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What listeners say about Understanding the Borderline Mother
Average Customer RatingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Angela
- 06-07-17
It took me 45 years to finally know why my Mother is as she is.
This book was recommended to me by a therapist who sat next to my husband on a flight. They were discussing my Mother and within 3 words she tore a page from a magazine and wrote he name of this book down and said "once she starts to read this she will begin to see and understand with a new found clarity" and for the first time in my life such a recommendation held true from beginning to end. I took notes, I identified all my Mothers traits and am grateful to the depths of my soul and all whom may be suffering with such. It was comforting also to know my intuition has been guiding me very well as I thankfully did not inherit my Mothers "Queen/Witch" or any other personality disorder, I do feel I would like to do as the book suggests however and seek out a therapist to help in the healing of all of the past pain that still when I speak to her surfaces. Cruelty from a Mother is unlike any other and finally I no longer have to survive on hope. I am forever grateful to you Christine Ann Lawson as are all of us who choose to heal and grow from this so we too can allow ourselves to live a life we deserve too, one that is FULFILLED!!!
26 people found this helpful
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- Stephanie
- 05-31-17
Questions Answered
Answered every single question I have ever had about my parents,mother and father. The book explained the mystery of their childhood and rid me of self blame, guilt, and the hope that they can change. They don't have to, but I can and have the choice to. Thank you to the Powers that be that this book and I have finally crossed paths. Thank you. The narrator was fabulous-on an end note.
14 people found this helpful
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- Amazon Customer
- 01-28-17
Fairytales Guide Reader to Freedom from BPD Mother
This was the most comprehensive of all BPD help books I have read. With that said, it was narrated simply and effectively with popular fairytale analogies. The author breaks down the BPD mother into four possible characters, each with the possibility of overlap: Waif, Hermit, Queen, and the Witch. The descriptions of each type of BPD mother were very accurate from my experience. I found this book to be therapeutic and validating of repressed feelings I could never verbalize. I am grateful to Christine Ann Lawson, for her outstanding contribution to the children of BPD mothers, and for helping us to feel like deserving human beings.
10 people found this helpful
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- Karina R
- 11-02-17
Unsure of my feelings
I'm unsure of how I feel after reading this book. Though I am relieved to have answers to questions I didn't know to ask, I have so many feelings and no words to describe them all. I am unsure of how I feel. Relief, vindication, understanding, remorse, fear, uncertainty, panic & empathy are some words that come to mind. I highly recommend this book.
9 people found this helpful
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- Maine mum
- 10-19-17
Too much negativity
This book is extremely enlightening and I truly believe the author has deep insight on what makes borderline mothers tick. It did not deliver much more than just the insight. I was hoping for for more material on how to help someone recovering from having a borderline mother as part of the title "helping her children transcend the intense, unpredictable, and volatile relationship" promised.
7 people found this helpful
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- ESVK
- 03-09-17
Amazingly Comprehensive & Accurate
Would you consider the audio edition of Understanding the Borderline Mother to be better than the print version?
The print version is equally valuable as a reference as this book is deep.
What did you like best about this story?
The author accurately and comprehensively covers a very difficult subject
Have you listened to any of Heather Auden’s other performances before? How does this one compare?
N/A
Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?
Too deep to listen to in a short period of time. I need to listen to this book multiple times.
7 people found this helpful
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- Amazon Customer
- 02-20-19
Glad I ordered it
Good book that demonstrates the difference between a loving, caring mother vs a BPD mother. There needs to be more examples of loving moms, i.e. kind of like WWJD example. Instead WWLMD (What would loving mothers do)? Although rhe book has it, there should be more examples of loving moms. Any child with a BPD parent needs to have every image possible in their mind what an appropriate loving, caring relationship demonstrates since they have such a deficit.
3 people found this helpful
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- BMoore
- 03-09-18
Excellent, insightful book!
I liked that this book provided insight to what the BPD sufferer may likely be experiencing. It was full of examples both historical and actual patients. It helped me get an idea of what my mother is facing and understand my own trauma from childhood and why I am the way I am. I highly recommend it!
3 people found this helpful
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- dealmaven
- 03-24-22
Very helpful!
I really liked this book. I love that there are suggestions for ways that the kids, and others that can help the kids better deal with a mother who's like that. this book even has specific recommendations for the different "type" of BPD mom.
1 person found this helpful
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- eb48901
- 08-07-18
Interesting and easy to pay attention
Normally I can’t pay attention to someone reading to me but I could with this. I’ve read this book on paper before and is one of my fav books. This book was very informative yet interesting and gave a lot of examples. It was very easy to understand. As I psych major and someone that has had many people with personality disorders in and out of my life, I have spent a lot of time trying to find books and resources that could better explain BPD and this one explains it in a whole new level. It changed my life and opened my eyes and put my thoughts and feelings into words. I highly recommend it to anyone that has a loved one with BPD.
1 person found this helpful
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Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters
- A Guide for Separation, Liberation & Inspiration
- By: Karen C.L. Anderson, Katherine Woodward Thomas - foreword
- Narrated by: Sarah Mollo-Christensen
- Length: 4 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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The best news on the planet is that your mother doesn't have to change in order for you to be happy. In fact, author Karen C.L. Anderson will take it a step further and say your mother doesn't have to change in order for you to be free, peaceful, contented, and joyful. You can emotionally separate without guilt: Inspired by her own journey, Anderson's Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters shows women how to emotionally separate from their mothers without guilt and anxiety so they can finally create a life based on their own values, desires, needs, and preferences.
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Had to return the book
- By Amazon Customer on 05-29-19
By: Karen C.L. Anderson, and others
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Surviving a Borderline Parent
- How to Heal Your Childhood Wounds and Build Trust, Boundaries, and Self-Esteem
- By: Kimberlee Roth, Freda B. Friedman
- Narrated by: Pam Ward
- Length: 7 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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Although relatively common, borderline personality disorder (BPD) is often overlooked or misdiagnosed by therapists and clinicians and denied by those who suffer from it. If you were raised by a BPD parent, your childhood was a volatile and painful time. This book, the first written specifically for children of borderline parents, offers step-by-step guidance to understanding and overcoming the lasting effects of being raised by a person suffering from this disorder.
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complete validation of what I only suspected !
- By Tricia on 07-26-17
By: Kimberlee Roth, and others
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When Your Mother Has Borderline Personality Disorder
- A Guide for Adult Children
- By: Daniel S. Lobel PhD
- Narrated by: Daniel S. Lobel PhD
- Length: 4 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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Growing up with a mom who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is difficult - but it’s still possible to have a functioning adult relationship with her. When Your Mother Has Borderline Personality Disorder provides you with crucial information for understanding the patterns behind her Borderline Personality Disorder, as well as the tools you need to start your own recovery process.
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Deeply healing & life changing
- By Anonymous User on 11-19-22
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Borderline Mother
- Growing up with a Narcissistic Parent with Borderline Disorder
- By: Stefanie Griffin
- Narrated by: Courtney Encheff
- Length: 3 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Living with anyone who is narcissistic or who has a borderline disorder is difficult enough. When that person is a parent and someone who you had no choice but to put up with, it becomes even harder. Young lives can be forever affected by their behaviour and it can lead to other issues later on.
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Informed and thankful
- By RB on 02-20-21
By: Stefanie Griffin
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The Emotionally Absent Mother
- How to Recognize and Heal the Invisible Effects of Childhood Emotional Neglect, Second Edition
- By: Jasmin Lee Cori MS LPC
- Narrated by: Emily Durante
- Length: 8 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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Was your mother preoccupied, distant, or even demeaning? Have you struggled with relationships - or with your own self-worth? Often, the grown children of emotionally absent mothers can't quite put a finger on what's missing from their lives. The children of abusive mothers, by contrast, may recognize the abuse - but overlook its lasting, harmful effects. Psychotherapist Jasmin Lee Cori has helped thousands of men and women heal the hidden wounds left by every kind of undermothering.
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Wow ....
- By Anonymous User on 05-06-19
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You're Not Crazy - It's Your Mother
- Understanding and Healing for Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers, Book 1
- By: Danu Morrigan
- Narrated by: Danu Morrigan
- Length: 7 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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If you have a difficult relationship with your mother, this audiobook might well hold the key as to why. If you feel torn, upset, or confused after contact with your mother, then you deserve to have the answers. And maybe that answer is that your mother has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Find out if she does or not, and what it means for you in the rest of your life.
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This book changed my life
- By Alex Mullen on 11-02-18
By: Danu Morrigan
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Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters
- A Guide for Separation, Liberation & Inspiration
- By: Karen C.L. Anderson, Katherine Woodward Thomas - foreword
- Narrated by: Sarah Mollo-Christensen
- Length: 4 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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The best news on the planet is that your mother doesn't have to change in order for you to be happy. In fact, author Karen C.L. Anderson will take it a step further and say your mother doesn't have to change in order for you to be free, peaceful, contented, and joyful. You can emotionally separate without guilt: Inspired by her own journey, Anderson's Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters shows women how to emotionally separate from their mothers without guilt and anxiety so they can finally create a life based on their own values, desires, needs, and preferences.
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Had to return the book
- By Amazon Customer on 05-29-19
By: Karen C.L. Anderson, and others
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Mothers Who Can't Love
- A Healing Guide for Daughters
- By: Susan Forward, Donna Frazier Glynn
- Narrated by: Susan Forward, Kathleen Gati, Julia Whelan, and others
- Length: 8 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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With Mothers Who Can't Love: A Healing Guide for Daughters, Susan Forward, Ph.D., author of the smash #1 best-seller Toxic Parents, offers a powerful look at the devastating impact unloving mothers have on their daughters - and provides clear, effective techniques for overcoming that painful legacy.
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Very Powerful. Deserves 6 stars!
- By wendy on 03-25-15
By: Susan Forward, and others
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The Emotional Incest Syndrome
- What to Do When a Parent's Love Rules Your Life
- By: Patricia Love EdD, Jo Robinson
- Narrated by: Laural Merlington
- Length: 11 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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Here, Dr. Patricia Love offers adults real hope - and help - in overcoming the hurtful legacy of being a chosen child. Based on proven therapeutic techniques and using real-life case histories, her total program of recovery will help you identify the signs of emotional incest, confront your parents - and your past - with love and understanding, disentangle your life from theirs, and create a positive relationship with your parents - and your own children.
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Great first half, fell short of good advice
- By jeanius on 08-02-21
By: Patricia Love EdD, and others
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Mindfulness for Borderline Personality Disorder
- Relieve Your Suffering Using the Core Skill of Dialectical Behavior Therapy
- By: Blaise Aguirre MD, Gillian Galen PsyD
- Narrated by: Laura Copland
- Length: 5 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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If you are like many others living with borderline personality disorder (BPD), you know what it's like to be overwhelmed by intense and fluctuating emotions; to have difficulty with relationships; and to constantly struggle with troubling thoughts and behaviors. BPD can be especially difficult to treat, though there are ways to gain control over your symptoms and live a happier, healthier life.
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Recommend
- By Carol & Mark Williams on 06-16-17
By: Blaise Aguirre MD, and others
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The Borderline Personality Disorder Survival Guide
- Everything You Need to Know About Living with BPD
- By: Alexander L. Chapman PhD, Kim L. Gratz PhD, Perry D. Hoffman PhD - foreword
- Narrated by: Barry Abrams
- Length: 7 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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If you or someone you love is struggling with borderline personality disorder (BPD), you need up-to-date, accurate, and accessible information on the problems you're facing and where you can turn for help. But where do you look? Much of the professional literature on BPD is too technical and confusing to be of much help. If you're living with BPD, this compassionate book offers what you really need: an easy-to-follow road map to guide you through this disorder and its treatment.
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Great BPD guide! 👍
- By Anonymous User on 07-17-21
By: Alexander L. Chapman PhD, and others
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Stop Walking on Eggshells, Third Edition
- Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder
- By: Paul T. Mason MS, Randi Kreger
- Narrated by: Kirsten Potter
- Length: 7 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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Stop Walking on Eggshells has already helped more than a million people with friends and family members suffering from BPD understand this difficult disorder, set boundaries, and help their loved ones stop relying on dangerous BPD behaviors. This fully revised third edition has been updated with the very latest BPD research on comorbidity, extensive new information about narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), the effectiveness of schema therapy, and coping and communication skills you can use to stabilize your relationship with the BPD or NPD sufferer in your life.
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From someone who has BPD
- By Starcia Cockett on 08-11-21
By: Paul T. Mason MS, and others