Travelers to Unimaginable Lands

Stories of Dementia, the Caregiver, and the Human Brain

By: Dasha Kiper, Norman Doidge - foreword

Narrated by: Holly Linneman

Length: 5 hrs and 53 mins

Publisher's summary

These compelling case histories meld science and storytelling to illuminate the complex relationship between the mind of someone with dementia and the mind of the person caring for them.

“This book will forever change the way we see people with dementia disorders—and the people who care for them.”—Lori Gottlieb, author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone

After getting a master’s degree in clinical psychology, Dasha Kiper became the live-in caregiver for a Holocaust survivor with Alzheimer’s disease. For a year, she endured the emotional strain of looking after a person whose condition disrupts the rules of time, order, and continuity. Inspired by her own experience and her work counseling caregivers in the subsequent decade, Kiper offers an entirely new way to understand the symbiotic relationship between patients and those tending to them. Her book is the first to examine how the workings of the “healthy” brain prevent us from adapting to and truly understanding the cognitively impaired one.

In these poignant but unsentimental stories of parents and children, husbands and wives, Kiper explores the existential dilemmas created by this disease: A man believes his wife is an impostor. A woman’s imaginary friendships drive a wedge between herself and her devoted husband. Another woman’s childhood trauma emerges to torment her son. A man’s sudden Catholic piety provokes his wife.

Why is taking care of a family member with dementia so difficult? Why do caregivers succumb to behaviors—arguing, blaming, insisting, taking symptoms personally—they know are counterproductive? Exploring the healthy brain’s intuitions and proclivities, Travelers to Unimaginable Lands reveals the neurological obstacles to caregiving, enumerating not only the terrible pressures the disease exerts on our closest relationships but offering solace and perspective as well.

Cover art credit: © 2022 C. Herscovici / Artists Rights Society (ARS), New York

©2023 Dasha Kiper (P)2023 Random House Audio

Critic reviews

“Kiper’s work is deeply moving and often surprising. Through case studies both tragic and hauntingly relatable, she provides scientific grounding for what the beleaguered caregivers go through. With understanding comes the permission for, and perhaps a chance at, self-forgiveness.” —The Wall Street Journal

“Kiper . . . evinces a capaciousness of sympathy and understanding for Alzheimer’s patients and (especially) their caregivers. . . . For the frustrated caregiver, trapped in a vicious psychodynamic that is dehumanizing to both parties, this may provide some valuable solace.” —The American Scholar

“An elegant, empathetic, immensely informative, and insightful primer for caregivers as they try to navigate the fragmented, skewed world of the cognitively impaired.” —Psychology Today

So relevant and helpful for my situation

I loved this. Very relevant to what I am currently experiencing and have been for the past 7years.

A must-read for family careguvers

This book was informative and heartfelt; validating, and enlightening for family caregivers, and respectful of their loved ones.

Valuable listening

This book is immensely valuable, and full of insight. I recommend it without reservation. It is supportive of both the person with dementia, and the caregiver.

Personal enrichment

Very good and informative description of personal struggles with caring for loved ones who have dementia

Validation, finally!

As a caregiver I totally related to the stories told. I finally found validation for all my emotions related to caregiving. Now I understand why. Although, I’m not fully sure what I should be doing differently.

Best book for dementia caregivers I have read

I have been a dementia caregiver for my wife, who has early onset dementia, for over 10 years. After 8 years caring for her at home, I ran out of gas, and admitted her to an excellent memory care facility. I visit her just about every day. Travels to Unimaginable Lands is the best book for caregivers that I’ve read. It is sophisticated but understandable, explaining many things, such as why it is so exhausting to try to communicate with someone with dementia. Highly recommended.

Instant Classic

Specifically for family caregivers, this book shows how Alzheimer's affects the person and the caregiver. With stories and scientific studies, we understand why a person with Alzheimer's acts as they do and why we as caregivers have trouble reconciling their behavior. Encouraged with infinite forgiveness, we are supported in our journey to recognize that the person is still who they are ... however diminished.

Helpful and insightful

I think this book is important for caregivers and family of patients with dementia. Daria explains what is happening in various scenarios common to these patients. She also sheds light on the reason our healthy brains respond the way they do. Excellent production!

Best explanation of Demintia ever

This book was extremely helpful!!!
It should be required reading for all caregivers!!!
I will be recommending it to everyone I know that is dealing with a parent, spouse, or partner with dementia!!!
Thank you for all the insightful information!!!

So Helpful - Must Read

as a caregiver to a loved one with dementia this book was a game changer! The stories & lessons learned accurately reflect my daily life with a person incapable of admitting & remembering he has dementia. This book gave me permission to be ok with bad days. The permission I need to accept his idiosyncrasies as part of the disease and not him being difficult or hateful.
I cried in a healing way, and it is helping me be a better caregiver.