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The Witless Protection Program
- A Catering Hall Mystery
- Narrated by: Devon Sorvari
- Length: 8 hrs and 13 mins
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Publisher's summary
Mia Carina has steered her Italian-American family's Astoria, Queens catering hall into becoming the borough's premiere party site, and nothing could make her happier—except her boyfriend proposing. There's just one presumed-dead obstacle in the way.
A strong, independent woman and respected entrepreneur, Mia never imagined she'd pine for a marriage proposal. Yet lately, with her beloved Shane, she's on tenterhooks. It's especially surprising, considering Mia's first husband, Adam, was a philandering grifter, assumed lost-at-sea after a boating disaster. But everyone knows what happens when you assume.
While working a huge wedding expo in Manhattan, Mia is shocked to spot the man who nearly destroyed her life. The one who's supposed to be sleeping with the fishes. But she loses him in the crowd. And when it happens again the next day, it's time for an emergency meeting with the family-and the Family. Because if Adam is alive, Mia is still married.
Everyone wants Adam dead. Everyone except Mia. She's dealt with enough police for a lifetime. Mia needs to be a divorcee, not a widow. But someone out there disagrees, and if Mia doesn't discover who, she may never be free to marry Shane.
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- By: R. B. Croft
- Narrated by: Dominic West
- Length: 6 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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Clem knows every inch of Watersmeet like the back of his hand. After all, he’s controlled crime here for most of his career. But after a shock murder, he meets jaundiced yellow eyes shining out of the darkness beyond the houses on the village’s eerie southern slopes, and everything he thought he knew about the place is thrown into question. Clem’s grown up with local legends, just like everyone else. But could the River Man be real, and might this creature be behind the recent mysterious killings?
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Nice & Easy
- By Britt on 04-14-24
By: R. B. Croft
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We Play Games
- By: Sarah A. Denzil
- Narrated by: Billie Piper, Dan Stevens, Shane Zaza, and others
- Length: 8 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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When the rules turn deadly, winning is everything. Only available from Audible, a gripping psychological thriller from the author of Silent Child, Saving April, and The Broken Ones. Perfect for fans of Gillian Flynn, Lisa Jewell and Paula Hawkins. The perfect couple. The perfect marriage. The perfect game. Effie and Ben May have everything. Success. Beauty. Glamour. But beneath the charming smiles and expensive clothes, a twisted game is in progress. A game for which only they know the rules.
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Two hours left
- By Cyndi on 01-17-24
By: Sarah A. Denzil
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Husband and Wife
- By: K. L. Slater
- Narrated by: Clare Corbett
- Length: 9 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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My husband and I are fighting for our lives in hospital after a terrible car accident. But despite my pain, all I can think about is what our families will find behind our front door. The scarf that has been all over the news, belonging to a dead young woman with honey-coloured hair. I have to speak to the police before my husband can. I’m drifting in and out of consciousness, but when I hear my wife talking to the police, accusing me of the murder of an innocent woman, a cold fear grips me. I know I’ve got a temper.
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Good twists
- By Susan Wiegert on 12-25-23
By: K. L. Slater
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One of Us Is Dead
- By: Jeneva Rose
- Narrated by: Andi Arndt, Hillary Huber, Elizabeth Evans, and others
- Length: 9 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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Opulence. Sex. Betrayal…sometimes friendship can be deadly. Meet the women of Buckhead—a place of expensive cars, huge houses, and competitive friendships. Who amongst these women will be clever enough to survive Buckhead—and who will wind up dead? They say that friendships can be complex, but no one said it could ever be this deadly.
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Great mystery. Sexually graphic.
- By Sue on 09-04-22
By: Jeneva Rose
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Artemis
- By: Andy Weir
- Narrated by: Rosario Dawson
- Length: 8 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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Jazz Bashara is a criminal. Well, sort of. Life on Artemis, the first and only city on the moon, is tough if you're not a rich tourist or an eccentric billionaire. So smuggling in the occasional harmless bit of contraband barely counts, right? Not when you've got debts to pay and your job as a porter barely covers the rent. Everything changes when Jazz sees the chance to commit the perfect crime, with a reward too lucrative to turn down.
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A ferrari with no motor
- By will on 11-18-17
By: Andy Weir
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The Girlfriend
- By: K.L. Slater
- Narrated by: Clare Corbett
- Length: 8 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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The doorbell rings, just days after my beloved husband’s sudden death. I don’t recognise the woman on our doorstep, with her blonde highlights, a diamond bracelet identical to my own and a bouncing baby boy in her arms. As I show her inside, I notice her eyes grow wide as she takes in our spacious hallway, and the big squashy sofas that we all used to pile on. She glances at the silver-framed family photos and my little daughter hiding behind my skirts. She looks at me, her blue eyes serious. ‘I’m sorry’ she says. ‘I am your husband’s girlfriend. And this is his son.'
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Uh, what?
- By Karyn Cavanaugh on 02-22-23
By: K.L. Slater
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Delilah O’Leary can’t wait to open her new gourmet deep-dish pizzeria in Geneva Bay, Wisconsin—a charming resort town with a long history as a mobsters’ hideaway, millionaires’ playground, and vacation mecca. Engaged to a hunk with a hefty trust fund, Delilah is poised to begin a life that’s just about as delicious as one of her cheesy creations. Just before opening night, though, Delilah’s plans for pizza perfection hit the skids when her fiancé dumps her and leaves her with a very large memento from their relationship—Butterball, their spoiled, plus-sized tabby cat.
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love a book about pizza and a cat!
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Murder by the Book
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Addie Greyborne loved working with rare books at the Boston Public Library - she even got to play detective, tracking down clues about mysterious old volumes. But she didn't expect her sleuthing skills to come in so handy in a little seaside town....
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Narrator Not Appropriate
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Dead and Gondola
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Overall
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Ellie Christie is thrilled to begin a new chapter, having recently returned to her tiny Colorado hometown to run her family’s historic bookshop with her elder sister, Meg, and their friendly bookshop cat, Agatha. Perched in a Swiss-style hamlet accessible primarily by ski gondola, the Book Chalet is a famed bibliophile destination known for its maze of shelves and relaxing reading lounge with cozy fireside seats and panoramic views. At least, until trouble blows in with a wintery whiteout, and a man is found dead on the gondola.
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A snowy adventure for Christie fans
- By Amazon Customer on 11-08-22
By: Ann Claire
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Plantation Shudders
- A Cajun Country Mystery, Book 1
- By: Ellen Byron
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Story
It's the end of the summer and prodigal daughter Maggie Crozat has returned home to her family's plantation-turned-bed-and-breakfast in Louisiana. The Crozats have an inn full of guests for the local food festival. But when the elderly couple keels over dead within minutes of each other - one from very unnatural causes - Maggie and her family suddenly become suspects in a murder.
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Unimpressed.
- By shannon on 10-04-16
By: Ellen Byron
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Off the Air
- By: Christina Estes
- Narrated by: Marcella Black
- Length: 8 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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When word gets out about a death at a radio station, Jolene and other journalists swarm the scene, intent on reporting the facts first. The body is soon identified as Larry Lemmon, a controversial talk-show host, who died under suspicious circumstances. Jolene conducted his final interview, giving her and her station an advantage. But not for long. As the story heats up, so does the competition. Jolene is determined to solve this murder. It’s an investigation that could make or break her career—if it doesn't break her first.
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Entertaining. Good listening.
- By Sandy R on 04-12-24
By: Christina Estes
What listeners say about The Witless Protection Program
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Holly
- 04-03-24
Another great one
I have loved this entire series. A nice cozy Murder mystery full of fun, laughs, and family.
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- Keenan
- 04-09-24
Laugh Out Loud Funny
I love how the author intertwines a mystery plot with Mia's love life, her business, and New York City Italian culture. It's a delightful romp of a story that kept me guessing, made me laugh, and made me cry.
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