The Verbally Abusive Relationship, Expanded Third Edition

De: Patricia Evans

Narrado por: Annette Romano

In this fully expanded and updated third edition of the best-selling classic, you learn why verbal abuse is more widespread than ever, and how you can deal with it. You'll get more of the answers you need to recognize abuse when it happens, respond to abusers safely and appropriately, and most important, lead a happier, healthier life.

In two all-new chapters, Evans reveals the outside stresses driving the rise in verbal abuse - and shows you how you can mitigate the devastating effects on your relationships. She also outlines the levels of abuse that characterize this kind of behavior - from subtle, insidious put-downs that can erode your self-esteem to full-out tantrums of name-calling, screaming, and threatening that can escalate into physical abuse.

Drawing from hundreds of real situations suffered by real people just like you, Evans offers strategies, sample scripts, and action plans designed to help you deal with the abuse - and the abuser.

This timely new edition of The Verbally Abusive Relationship puts you on the road to recognizing and responding to verbal abuse, one crucial step at a time!

©2009 Patricia Evans (P)2018 Simon & Schuster

Extremely informative

I was able to relate to the examples given and use the language with my partner as well as show him what he was doing. It is an excellent resource.

Great resource!

A must read for anyone struggling with this confusing topic! Very easy to understand r and helpful resource !

Saved me!

This book was what I needed. I never understood abuse for what it is. This book explained it and gave me the tools that I needed to self protect. “Abusive statements are lies about you told to you. They violate your boundaries. The abuser invades your mind makes up a story about your motives and then tells it to you. Accusing and blaming involves lies about your intentions, attitude, motives. Makes you want to explain yourself. “

“Judgments and criticism are lies about ones qualities and performance. They are blows to self-esteem. Defining you violates your personal boundaries. “

Be prepared to be triggered

Very good and very insightful. I felt seen and validated. I cried and seen many parallels in my relationships. This is the first step in establishing healthy boundaries for myself.

Eye Opening

This book is very informative and very well written. This is a great tool for anyone in or before they are in a relationship.

Caution is needed

The book is very definite and sure as to who is the abusive person, and why they behave like this, And that
they should be given rigid limits.
My wife did use a lot this kind of verbal/ emotional patterns of guilt, anger withdrawal mentioned in the book.
Listening to the book made me be very hard on my limits to this and my right for respect.
This book is very definite about it.
I thought my wife was abusive, and maybe it was somewhat true,
But after couple counseling, I realized that some actual things that were disturbing her, and it was not only to
gain control over me. Also the therapist recommended actually to ignore much of this communication (when I ignore it
it doesn't mean I accept it. I just dont fight all the time). I also need to improve my own behavior.
My point is that if you just want to separate, then no problem. If you read this book, its definite tone, might make you angry and righteous. If you want to give a chance to improve your relationships, you can listen to it. But you might want to have some different points of view also, from other books maybe, or counseling.
You may easily get the wrong impression that your relationship is abusive or there is no repair, when it might not be abusive, and it might be repaired.
All is individual of course, and depends on your own relationship.
Maybe your relationship is abusive and unlikely to be repaired
My relationship did improve a lot, and is improving still, although I was very desperate.
Another point is that even according to this book there is something you do that enables this relationship to happen.
And it might be hard and take time recognise to improve. Just blaming and separating might take you to a similar relationship.

Spot on!!!

I’ve spent years being told I was crazy and I was the problem. This one book has changed my life! I’m so empowered!!

Life changing

I recently realized I have been in a verbally abusive relationship. I am separating from my husband. This book helped me to realize this is not my fault. I have spent 8 years in marriage counseling and if I had only read this book first, I could have saved a lot of money and heartache. I highly recommend the next book- can he change. It’s helped me to know that in our case, I don’t believe he can. I will give him some time to work on himself but I have very little hope. And that’s actually a relief for me. If you feel there is any chance you are being abused, please read this book. You will know for sure after having read it and you will also get tools on how to handle it. Every therapist should read this book.

Can now make more sense of my life

Thank you for this book . It was recommended to me at least 5 years ago by a friend in recovery from a husband who was sexually compulsive and manipulative. I was too new in recovery and was scared to find out too much about myself at the time. Recently my therapist and sister in law told me to read it. It has allowed me to speak more freely with myself and others and laid a fresh pathway to take in my life , one with more clarity and less abuse.

Very informative and educational!

I learned so much from this book I really appreciate it. It helped me understand what made me feel like I was going crazy for years cause I thought something was wrong with me so I’m very happy to hear that it’s not me that there was actually something wrong. I’d recommend it to anybody that is in control over relationship with their partner.