The Unexpected Joy of Being Single

Locating Happily-Single Serenity

By: Catherine Gray

Narrated by: Catherine Gray

Length: 10 hrs and 29 mins

Publisher's Summary

Having a secret single freak-out? Feeling the red, heart-shaped urgency intensify as the years roll on by? Oh hi! You're in the right place.

Over half of Brits aged 25-44 are now single. It's become the norm to remain solo until much later in life, given the average marriage ages of 35 (women) and 38 (men). Many of us are choosing never to marry at all.

But society, films, song lyrics and our parents are adamant that a happy ending has to be couple-shaped. That we're incomplete without an 'other half'*, like a bisected panto pony. Cue: single sorrow. Dating like it's a job. Spending half our lives waiting for somebody-we-fancy to text us back. Feeling haunted by the terms 'spinster' or 'confirmed bachelor'.

Catherine Gray took a whole year off dating to find single satisfaction. She lifted the lid on the reasons behind the global single revolution, explored the bizarre ways cultures single-shame, detached from 'all the good ones are gone!' panic and debunked the myth that married people are much happier.

Let's start the reverse brainwash, in order to locate - and luxuriate in - single happiness. Are you in?

*Spoiler: you're already whole.

©2018 Catherine Gray (P)2018 Octopus Publishing Group

Critic Reviews

"This refreshing, unusual book needs to exist. A culture shift which repositions a single person as someone who is relationship-free, complete, and not lacking is long overdue." (The i )

"Absolutely f--king brilliant." (Florence Given)

Empowering and disappointing

Overall I really enjoyed this and found it to be empowering as a single woman. However, I was disappointed at the fatphobic narratives that sprung up occasionally throughout the book. Like talking about losing weight to better yourself for example. I get so tired of this being seen as a thing people must do. If we are truly trying to embrace ourselves and our singledome, then embrace your body as well.

Narrated with British Accent

Did not realize the narrator was British with a thick accent. Hard for me to understand what she was saying at times and I didn’t understand a lot of the slang terms. I didn’t connect with it at all.

A voice actor would be a good investment

I so want to listen to this book but the accent and the reading pace is very hard to listen to. I’ll try to persist because I really want the content, and I can see it has great reviews, but we can’t all be excellent at all things. A professional narrator would have been a good investment.

So thankful for this book

I applaud Catherine for writing a book that challenges stereotypes, outdated ways of thinking, and some of our personal insecurities about being "un-coupled." I found her account of her own very personal experiences to be refreshingly honest and beautifully vulnerable. I can honestly say that this book has changed the way my brain and my heart think about my solo life and my future. I feel unburdened and set free from the ridiculous stigma, unnecessary worry, and negativity that is often attached to being single. After listening to it on audible, I bought the book so I can soak it in again and go crazy with my highlighter! On a personal note to the author - I thank you so much Catherine for the encouragement and inspiration this book gave me. I respect your work and love the way you write! Also, I am so glad you narrated this book yourself....added more connection for me. Peace & love to all! ☮️🌟💟

A young single

I’m a female just about 28 years old and I say I’ve never really been in a relationship. I’ve always been the strong independent woman in just about all situations. I’m one of the guys and I love my guy friends. Before starting this book I’ve been on the dating apps but never really even diving into them past a couple days of taking. After listening to Catherine’s stories and her research, I’m so glad I stumbled upon this read/listen. People always ask me do you ever think you’ll get married? How many kids? This book gave me insight into the pros and cons of so many options of life with or without a partner. I know I’m still very young in life, but I believe this book could possibly be the right stuff at the right time.

Lovely

I love Catherine and the way she learn more about herself everyday and share with us.

New and Old Friends

This was the right book at the right time for me. The author taps into the unconscious bias that may be weighing on those of us who are single women. I’m going to steal her phrase in support of engaging in an amazing life.

This book won’t teach you how to be unsingle

Everyone single should read or listen to this book. It doesn’t teach you in anyway how to couple yourself up, but instead helps you find how to be okay with where you are in this world and that being alone does not make you lonely or behind everyone else

I love every one of her books

Heart wrenching and beautiful, Catherine’s writing transports you to her world while reminding you of your own experiences. All of her books relate to everyone regardless of where you stand on singledom/sobriety/etc. because she isn’t trying to convince you of anything but gives you peace in your decisions, whatever they may be.

Great listen!

I wish I found this in my younger years! I will definitely recommend. I plan to purchase the physical book so I can remember all her great advice!

Possibly ok if you're young and/ or unaware

I was pretty disappointed with this - particularly with the author's black & white thinking, and very broad-stroked approach to gender roles. This is the 21st century....I'm not sure who Catherine Gray hangs out with, but by the sounds of it many of them could do with an audible subscription and recommendations for contemporary discourse on sexism, gender identity / politics... etc!! A lot of this is aimed at people who are particularly love/ relationship fixated and /or have alcohol-related issues which fundamentally affect their relationships. Hard to relate to in many places if that's not you. It mixes in pop psychology, a sprinkle of statistics, and terms which I assume are intended to endear (think on-trend phrases and witticisms). None of which work for me. I feel I didn't learn anything. Perhaps I'm too old (and perhaps - and encouragingly - too wise) for the message(s) here. Can't recommend unless you are unaware and/ or under 25 yrs (or under 30 and particularly lacking in self-awareness) in which case it may be a good place to start.

Hire a better narrator!

I enjoyed this and her previous book, but she is not a natural audiobook reader, it's read slowly and with virtually no intonation!

The title is misleading.

Let me get a few things out of the way first.
1. I am a man, I am not the target audience for this book.
2. The narration is terrible, you’ll either love it or hate it.
3. The story has very little to do with “joy” or “being single”
4. Change every sentence containing the word “man” to “woman” and this could be written by a man about women.

To elaborate; the title is very misleading. This book should be titled “the joys of using hindsight after becoming sober “
There is very little in this book about the joy of being single. The story is more about the authors coming to terms with her poor decision making due to over 2 decades of bad decisions fuelled by alcohol.
Tones of toxic masculinity and hints of man bashing run through the story, begs the question “ where were all the female friends and female role models?”

the lack of love from the authors father, (the root cause of all the pain, love addiction , sleeping around, alcoholism and poor decisions) proves one thing, a good male role model is a must in any child’s life and in this case, the life of a young impressionable girl.

No real joy is stated within these pages and it feels like the author is never truly single, ever!
A date seem to always end up in sex but as it was just a date and sex it doesn’t seem to count and the author still considers themselves to be single. So sleeping around is ok..kinda.. when you feel like it. Maybe that’s one of the joys of being single?

There are some takeaways: women, you are strong and empowered to do whatever you want , you don’t need to get married or settle just become society dictates it so.

I could go on.
Overall 2.5-3 out of 5

Misleading title, boring to listen to.

The title should rather be "The Unexpected Joy of Being a Single Woman And Other Feminist Rants". Even though I accept most of what I've heard in the first half of the audiobook (that's all I had patience for) I find it unbearably boring to listen to. I'm also disappointed because the book almost exclusively shows the feminine side of the story, despite of the title showing no indication of that.

Dull, uninspiring, slow-paced & nothing new

The author pitches herself as a desperate, neurotic head-case whom clings to men by her cold dead hands before finding some hobbies & self esteem. If you already have some hobbies & self esteem this is absolute drivel.

loved it

great to finally hear what I had been thinking for so long. made me relate and laugh and feel empowered

Captivating

Loved this honest book. Couldn’t put it down. Insightful and made me wince when I remember feeling the same way as CG. Let’s you rethink about your own life and choices and attitudes whether you’re single or not. Joy is from within. Fantastic author. Highly recommend.

Facile, stating the bleeding obvious

This is truly awful. It lacks evidence, rambles, is without structure, and is about as exciting as watching Formula 1 at Silverstone.

Another beautiful and relatable journey shared by Catherine Gray

When I became curious about giving up alcohol I turned to The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober. Whilst reading the book, I found my self gobsmacked at how many of her experiences I could relate to, as well finding places/rooms that I didn’t even know existed inside of me.
This book was exactly the same; full of facts, so much love and kindness and a tool box full of knowledge and responses to arm yourself with, in the rediscovery of self.
I absolutely love the way the books are narrated and can’t recommend them enough.
If you’re reading this CG, thank you for going against the grain and for sharing your stories, adventures and journey. You’ve inspired such an exciting chapter in my life! To being solo and sober 👸🏻

Wonderful

I believe that everyone should read this, women, men, single and /or people in relationships. It truly is informative and important.