The Incest Diary

By: Anonymous

Narrated by: Barbara Rosenblat

Length: 3 hrs and 18 mins

Publisher's summary

"In the fairy tales about father-daughter incest - 'The Girl Without Hands', 'Thousand Furs', the original 'Cinderella', 'Donkey Skin', and the stories of Saint Dymphna, patron saint of incest survivors - the daughters are all as you would expect them to be: horrified by their father's sexual advances. They do everything in their power to escape. But I didn't. A child can't escape. And later, when I could, it was too late."

Throughout her childhood and adolescence, the anonymous author of The Incest Diary was raped by her father. Beneath a veneer of normal family life, she grew up in and around this all-encompassing secret. Her sexual relationship with her father lasted, off and on, into her 20s. It formed her world, and it formed her deepest fears and desires. Even after she broke away - even as she grew into an independent and adventurous young woman - she continued to seek out new versions of the violence, submission, and secrecy she had struggled to leave behind.

In this graphic and harrowing memoir, the author revisits her early traumas and their aftermath - not from a clinical distance but from deep within - to explore the ways in which her father's abuse shaped her and still does. As a matter of psychic survival, she became both a sexual object and a detached observer, a dutiful daughter and the protector of a dirty secret. And then, years later, she made herself write it down.

With lyric concision, in vignettes of almost unbearable intensity, this author tells a story that is shocking but that will ring true to many other survivors of abuse. It has never been faced so directly in an audiobook.

©2017 Anonymous (P)2017 Macmillan Audio

PLEASE BE PREPARED

That was..graphic. I’m not saying it’s a bad book. But I feel like if you have ever gone through this that you really prepare yourself. I have never not finished a book before but I was halfway through and got physically sick.

I'll be listening to this one again

I truly enjoyed this story. a good insight into the dark erotic desire and passion between a father and his daughter.

Engrossing

Only those who experienced the trauma, can understand the conflict & the sense of uncontrollable urges. It may sound too general of a statement, but the book resonated with me in such deepens I couldn’t have expected.
Not for the faint of hearts.

I applaud the author

This was a well written book of another kind of survival, one that isn't often spoken of, but yet happens often.

Not all perpetrators are easy to recognize as big mean scary monsters, some (many) look and act wonderful, until its too late to not become their victim. Even after their horrible acts, they still identify as saintly, and you, the victim had better view them that way too. Not all sexual abuse comes with beatings first, some come as acting loving and coherence (spelled that word wrong). Some give candy and cuddles and move slowly, little by little.

Not all mothers, aunts, friends, etc comfort victims of this kind. Many turn a blind eye, many blame the victim, and some just ignore or silence them, which was the case here and for many others.

There is a formula that goes something like this:
what acts happened in your childhood home were what you identify as love, you repeat those acts in order to get love as an adult.
(not all of these acts are good ones)

She loved her father. Her father acted as if he loved her. She identified his behaviors as love and repeated them in adulthood.

She also found ways to cope with what happened to her without it making her insane. She had to find her own way because no one else helped her. No one else in her life said it was wrong. No one else blamed or corrected the abuser.

a real journey

well written l, well narrated. very interesting. All around fun book for the whole family.

Amazingly told story

This was so well told
Such a taboo story told with an honest sincerity rarely seen in print on such an intimate subject

Brutal listening but incredible

Narration is perfect, especially for a story like this. More like vignettes than an actual story but the picture is painted clearly. Very powerful recounting of a life, shaped by brutality.

Sad

Sad story especially when the ending comes close. Perfect voice chosen for this audio soft mysterious yet powerful.
Thank you.

Comforting to know I’m not alone…

I was scared to listen to this book. I bought it and it still took me 3 days to actually push play and listen. She told my story except my abuser was my grandfather.

Heartbreakingly familiar

Not for the faint hearted. Incredibly honest. A tragic and painful read of endurance and survival. That she speaks of the years in the way she does, draws out a lifelong theme of making sense and peace with herself and those that betrayed her. A little unfinished, but there's truth in that as well, since survival is a lifelong obligation. I heard that little girl so loud.