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The Hitman's Guide to Making Friends and Finding Love

Narrated by: Michael Ferraiuolo
Length: 10 hrs and 43 mins
Categories: Romance, LGBT
5 out of 5 stars (322 ratings)

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Publisher's Summary

What happens when a snarky hit man and a by-the-book PI cross paths?

Leland
Being a hit man has its perks, but I never thought getting an accidental mooning by an attractive PI while he’s caught on a fence would be one of them. While it’s not exactly love at first sight, he’s captured my interest and won’t let go.

Suddenly, I find myself caught in a game of cat and mouse, determined to attract the attention of Jackson, the PI who should be my enemy. He pretends like he’s not flattered by my flowers and the mentions of my totally-not-fictitious blow-up doll, Randy (or was it Dandy?), but I know better. Why else would he be teaming up with me to bring down Hardek, one of the city’s most ruthless criminals?

Jackson
Even though the cops are telling me that the hit man is a notorious contract killer, I can’t help but admit that I’m drawn to him. He’s funny, charismatic, and attractive. There’s no way this ridiculous man can be the person the cops are after.

But when Leland ends up at my doorstep injured, I’m faced with a tough choice. It’s my duty to hand him over to law enforcement, but my heart has other plans. I want to keep him. To protect him. To be with him.

Though one question remains: Why in the world does the man have so many d*mn guns?

Contains: shenanigans on a swing that you would not find at a playground, a car chase that sadly doesn't have flips or explosions, a horsey ride sans horse, cuddles, an exuberant mutt, a suspicious chief of police, and lots and lots of laughs.

©2019 Alice Winters (P)2019 Alice Winters

What members say

Average Customer Ratings

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    5 out of 5 stars

literal tears of laughter

Quite possibly one of the funniest books of the year, I was in literal tears of laughter listening to this narration (definitely do not listen whilst driving, you will only endanger yourself & others when you can't control your laughing). Having Leland and Jackson brought to life in my ears may just be the greatest gift I've given myself, such a joy to listen to and Michael has nailed Leland's hilariously ridiculousness and Jackson's attempt at seriousness perfectly. COULD NOT RECOMMEND MORE!

6 of 6 people found this review helpful

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entertaining

Did the story keep me engaged: yes
Were there any parts I found annoying: no
Did I feel an emotional connection to the characters: yes
Would I listen to it again: yes

• Story is entertaining, dialog amusing and characters likeable. If you go into this book expecting general silliness and nothing particularly deep you won't be disappointed.
• Michael Ferraiuolo does a fantastic job on the narration, his sweet, snarky always enthusiastic Leland is spot on and Jackson comes across as the perfect straight laced PI.

Thoroughly enjoyed it.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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A brilliant, funny, riveting listen.

Alice Winters has become an auto buy for me and each story she crafts has been superb. Hitman’s Guide is highly original, laugh out loud funny and kept me riveted from the first page.
Michael Ferraiuolo is a relatively new to me narrator and he has fast become one of my top five. His voice acting is pitch perfect and perfectly encapsulates each character.
Highly recommended!

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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Fantastic narration and characters!

I have never read or listened to this author or narrator before and I was very happy I tried this audio book. I laughed out loud many many times while listening. This author has written complicated quirky characters ( OMG Leland is awesome!) that the narrator really hit perfectly. Just wow, he was fantastic. Book 2 is out but I'm going to wait till the audio because in this case I dont think reading it will do it justice.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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It’s Leland’s World, You Just Live In It

First Michael bringing Leland to life was out of this world funny. Who could not LOVE Leland and Jackson are funny, steamy, loving and caring together. It’s the perfect opposites attract and age gap romance.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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Absolutely Hilarious!

OMG!!! This is the most hilarious book I have ever read/listened to. Alice Winters has written characters that just seem to come to life. You have Leland, the hitman; Jackson, the detective and Leland's love interest; and Henry, the droll Chief of Police. And Michael Ferraiuolo does an excellent job of differentiating voices and character quirks. He is somehow able to effusively portray all main characters so that they are immediately recognized.

If you don't have this on your TBL add it immediately!

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Leland the funny hitman

It has been some time since I read/listened to a character that had made me laughing as much as Leland.

He drove Jackson crazy and his dead pan replies to Leland just made some of the screen too funny.

My favorite Leland line is "I’m a sly motherfucker".

Jackson line "Get off my laptop, you nosy bastard".

This listen/read is hilarious, I can not wait for the second audio book.

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exceptional

hearing Leland and Jackson come to life was an amazing experience for me! just reading the books has me in tears from laughing, but hearing it.... my family thought I had lost my mind I was laughing so much it caused me to snort. cannot wait to get the next in the series on audio

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Entertaining

If you’re looking for a book that will have you laughing out loud, this is it. At times Leland’s character is a bit much to take, but he’s just what Jackson needs.

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I loved this book!!

It was so funny and the narrator was perfect! He brought both characters to life. I would recommend this book for anyone looking for a light hearted book with lots of LOL moments! I can't say enough good things about it!

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  • Kat
  • 11-18-19

Be Prepared to Laugh

Alice Winters is a genius at writing gripping stories full of action, while also stuffing it full of enough humour to have you literally laughing out loud. A Hitman's Guide is a fantastic addition to her repetoire, and I was beyond excited to see it not only in audio, but narrated by the amazing Michael Ferraiuolo. The story is incredibly unique - Leland is a hitman, raised to the job from a rough childhood. He expresses himself through humour and rarely takes any situation seriously, much to Jackson's dismay. Jackson is a PI whose current case overlaps Leland's job. An unfortunate encounter with a fence exposes about more than he meant to, and draws Leland's eye and mild (ok...pretty intense) obsession. Leland uses his wiles, guns, and unflagging enthusiasm to get Jackson reluctantly on his side and hijinks ensue. Aside from the humour, an absolute stellar cast, and an enthralling plot, there is real heartfelt romance. Really a fantastic book all around. The narration done by Ferraiuolo is the literal cherry on the sundae. Because Winters gives her characters such personality I was worried the narration wouldn't match my internal voices for the characters, but Ferraiuolo managed to get it PERFECT. Leland is snarky, sweet, and fast. You really get his emotions and how much he enjoys himself, while catching glimpses of his hidden depths. Jackson is the perfect straight man to Leland, but has moments of softness as he accepts and loves Leland for who he is. The pacing is fantastic, and there are so many lines that forced me to stop so I could catch my breath laughing and made me wonder how many times the narrator had to do the same. A fantastic read only enhanced by an amazing narration!

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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  • Delano
  • 11-18-19

Very funny and Thrilling book

I really like Alice Winters style of writing and this book exhibits all her best skills. The wit, banter, drama and heart are amazingly linked to produce a book which I did want to end.

I Highly recommend to everyone as this book will make you laugh out loud and keep you on the edge of your seat.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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  • henry parsons
  • 12-11-19

Wow just Wow

That book was amazing, I laughed and was constantly keeping me smiling if not on the edge of my seat, truly 5/5 and definitely recommend a listen

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    4 out of 5 stars
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  • Alison
  • 12-09-19

Sweet and funny.

A slightly ridiculous storyline, but very entertaining, laugh out loud funny in places. I would buy a sequel.

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  • Book addict
  • 12-02-19

Very enjoyable

Really enjoyed listening to this. Although there was a lot of lighter silly humour, there was deeper stuff within their relationship too, so it balanced nicely.

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  • Starwarslover
  • 11-25-19

sooo good

ok so... i loved this so much. the characters.. the emotions.. the personalities and this narrator did an amazing job with the personalities of these two haha..
my only complaint is that the narrator has like a 5 second quiet between the end of the chapter to the beginning of the next.. it drove me crazy!

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  • Jackie Thorogood
  • 11-21-19

So much fun

Leland is my new BBF I loved him and poor Jackson. It's so funny that I was snorting like a child(husband kept giving me the side eye) Leland is a hit man and good at what he is meant to do, when on a stakeout he meets Jackson that had me laughing out loud......Poor Jackson doesn't stand a chance. The best few hours spent listening to this.Michael Ferraiuolo was fabulous on this, I wonder how many breaks he had to take. This is definitely going to be one that I will listen to many times to get the full effect of the genius who wrote this,

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  • Katie townsend
  • 11-20-19

fun with action that have asking for more

Jackson and leland stole my heart from the moment i met them

The hitman's guide to making friends and finding love was fun hilarious action packed hot intense beautiful powerful and incredible

I was so excited to see what was going to happen from page to page

Leland and Jackson had me on the edge of my seat at times I did not want to put the book down

one minute your laughing the next your crying and then crying with laughter

I can't wait to see what will happen next with Jackson and leland's journey

michael ferraiuolo did such a beautiful job bringing leyland and jackson to life he didn't just narrate the story he gave me a incredible performance

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  • Anonymous User
  • 11-19-19

Do not listen to this audiobook in public....

Do not listen to this audiobook in public.... People will look at you funny. Trying to surpress laughing out loud gives your face this kind of smirk and at times giggels WILL escape.
Great storyline and caracters and Michael Ferraiolo's narration is amazing, best ever ❤️❤️❤️❤️

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  • Alan Verhagen
  • 11-30-19

Loads of fun!

Loveable airhead, Leland, is a deadly hitman who seems to be modelled on the Jack McFarland character in Will & Grace. When their paths cross, he utterly charms and frustrates Jackson, a private investigator who takes life much more seriously. As usual, Michael Ferrauola captures the humour perfectly. Ridiculously amusing!

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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  • P D
  • 01-10-20

Not to be missed!!!

This was an absolute joy to listen to!!!! The author and narrator deserve more than 5 stars!!!!!!

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  • The Smut Librarian
  • 12-12-19

Funny and highly entertaining!

With brilliant characters, a dynamic storyline and Michael Ferraiuolo brings Alice's wonderful writing to life! A top choice!