The Hitman's Guide to Making Friends and Finding Love

By: Alice Winters

Narrated by: Michael Ferraiuolo

Length: 10 hrs and 43 mins

Publisher's summary

What happens when a snarky hit man and a by-the-book PI cross paths?

Leland
Being a hit man has its perks, but I never thought getting an accidental mooning by an attractive PI while he’s caught on a fence would be one of them. While it’s not exactly love at first sight, he’s captured my interest and won’t let go.

Suddenly, I find myself caught in a game of cat and mouse, determined to attract the attention of Jackson, the PI who should be my enemy. He pretends like he’s not flattered by my flowers and the mentions of my totally-not-fictitious blow-up doll, Randy (or was it Dandy?), but I know better. Why else would he be teaming up with me to bring down Hardek, one of the city’s most ruthless criminals?

Jackson
Even though the cops are telling me that the hit man is a notorious contract killer, I can’t help but admit that I’m drawn to him. He’s funny, charismatic, and attractive. There’s no way this ridiculous man can be the person the cops are after.

But when Leland ends up at my doorstep injured, I’m faced with a tough choice. It’s my duty to hand him over to law enforcement, but my heart has other plans. I want to keep him. To protect him. To be with him.

Though one question remains: Why in the world does the man have so many d*mn guns?

Contains: shenanigans on a swing that you would not find at a playground, a car chase that sadly doesn't have flips or explosions, a horsey ride sans horse, cuddles, an exuberant mutt, a suspicious chief of police, and lots and lots of laughs.

©2019 Alice Winters (P)2019 Alice Winters

literal tears of laughter

Quite possibly one of the funniest books of the year, I was in literal tears of laughter listening to this narration (definitely do not listen whilst driving, you will only endanger yourself & others when you can't control your laughing). Having Leland and Jackson brought to life in my ears may just be the greatest gift I've given myself, such a joy to listen to and Michael has nailed Leland's hilariously ridiculousness and Jackson's attempt at seriousness perfectly. COULD NOT RECOMMEND MORE!

Hilarious, Touching and Totally Inappropriate

I laughed aloud throughout the performance because hitman Leland has few lines he won't cross. P.I. Jackson has the misfortune to became the target of a bored hitman's interest. But Leland loves to jerk his chain and finds that Jackson is the real deal. Leland's story is actually tragic and his humor is a defense mechanism. I love Jackson because he's a good guy. The only reason for four stars is that I wish the author had reigned in Leland's ridiculousness somewhat. He is beyond crude. But this is both a mystery and a love story that works.

Funny, but at what cost?

While this book did have some laugh out loud funny scenes, and could be sweet at times I couldn't get over how problematic their relationship was. In the beginning Leland's pursual of Jackson was straight up harassment. Jackson continued to tell him no and Leland refused to respect that. Jackson was so controlling, locking Leland away under the guise of keeping him safe. He was always assuming Leland couldn't handle himself, insisting he stay back, even though Leland was clearly more skilled than Jackson and more than able to care for himself. Love doesn't require you to be less than you are just so you can feel cared for. Leland came off as Jackson's pet instead of an equal partner. This is not a healthy relationship I wanted to cheer for. The story was performed perfectly, but I felt uncomfortable the whole time.

It’s Leland’s World, You Just Live In It

First Michael bringing Leland to life was out of this world funny. Who could not LOVE Leland and Jackson are funny, steamy, loving and caring together. It’s the perfect opposites attract and age gap romance.

Fantastic narration and characters!

I have never read or listened to this author or narrator before and I was very happy I tried this audio book. I laughed out loud many many times while listening. This author has written complicated quirky characters ( OMG Leland is awesome!) that the narrator really hit perfectly. Just wow, he was fantastic. Book 2 is out but I'm going to wait till the audio because in this case I dont think reading it will do it justice.

I loved this book!!

It was so funny and the narrator was perfect! He brought both characters to life. I would recommend this book for anyone looking for a light hearted book with lots of LOL moments! I can't say enough good things about it!

entertaining

Did the story keep me engaged: yes
Were there any parts I found annoying: no
Did I feel an emotional connection to the characters: yes
Would I listen to it again: yes

• Story is entertaining, dialog amusing and characters likeable. If you go into this book expecting general silliness and nothing particularly deep you won't be disappointed.
• Michael Ferraiuolo does a fantastic job on the narration, his sweet, snarky always enthusiastic Leland is spot on and Jackson comes across as the perfect straight laced PI.

Thoroughly enjoyed it.

Too long!

Not a bad story, but this book needed editing. It would have been better served being broken up into two novels if the author was too wedded to her subplots to cut them. The actual case plot was good, and I mostly liked Leland, but Jackson seemed bland and the parts from his POV didn't grab me after about chapter 4.

Narrator clearly did his best with what he was given, but some of the dialogue, especially Leland's, doesn't really work when spoken aloud, and some things that would be funny in print made me cringe in audio.

The romance felt a bit forced towards the end-- no need to keep TELLING me how in love you're characters are, if you're doing a good job SHOWING it. Also, the sex scenes weren't really my cup of tea.

If you like wacky romance, this might be for you. I felt like the sample gave me an expectation for the characters that wasn't borne out by the book, and the writing could use some more polish, but that's me. If you're intrigued by the sample, by all means give it a listen; there was enough that I liked that I don't regret buying it. Just don't expect it to be over quick!

A brilliant, funny, riveting listen.

Alice Winters has become an auto buy for me and each story she crafts has been superb. Hitman’s Guide is highly original, laugh out loud funny and kept me riveted from the first page.
Michael Ferraiuolo is a relatively new to me narrator and he has fast become one of my top five. His voice acting is pitch perfect and perfectly encapsulates each character.
Highly recommended!

putting the sass in assassinate

If you were ever like "man, Cable and Deadpool should really be dating" boy have I got a book for you.

Leland is manic, immature, distractable, glib, and scarily competent at killing people. He's obnoxious and also adorable. Big ADHD energy, also big Wade Wilson energy. like I'm not saying this concept maybe started life as an AU fic but I AM saying I can see some parallels - and if you like one, I'd imagine you'd like the other.

This whole story is genuinely funny, often verging into goofy, complete with slapstick. And can I say how refreshing it is to encounter characters who LAUGH and seem to have FUN during sex? it's still steamy, but in a way that feels honestly affectionate.

Michael Ferriauolo's narration is PERFECTION. His Jackson voice is very H. Jon Benjamin, while his Leland voice is almost lilting and sweet. And every time the narrative describes a character as laughing (which Leland does quite a lot) he ACTUALLY LAUGHS with the dialogue. It's mostly Leland giggling and it's so cute and charming?? I absolutely loved it. Definitely going to be seeking out more from him.

Overall this audiobook is an absolute keeper for me, worth a relisten and DEFINITELY worth immediately diving into the sequel. Can't wait to see what they get up to next!

Be Prepared to Laugh

Alice Winters is a genius at writing gripping stories full of action, while also stuffing it full of enough humour to have you literally laughing out loud. A Hitman's Guide is a fantastic addition to her repetoire, and I was beyond excited to see it not only in audio, but narrated by the amazing Michael Ferraiuolo. The story is incredibly unique - Leland is a hitman, raised to the job from a rough childhood. He expresses himself through humour and rarely takes any situation seriously, much to Jackson's dismay. Jackson is a PI whose current case overlaps Leland's job. An unfortunate encounter with a fence exposes about more than he meant to, and draws Leland's eye and mild (ok...pretty intense) obsession. Leland uses his wiles, guns, and unflagging enthusiasm to get Jackson reluctantly on his side and hijinks ensue. Aside from the humour, an absolute stellar cast, and an enthralling plot, there is real heartfelt romance. Really a fantastic book all around. The narration done by Ferraiuolo is the literal cherry on the sundae. Because Winters gives her characters such personality I was worried the narration wouldn't match my internal voices for the characters, but Ferraiuolo managed to get it PERFECT. Leland is snarky, sweet, and fast. You really get his emotions and how much he enjoys himself, while catching glimpses of his hidden depths. Jackson is the perfect straight man to Leland, but has moments of softness as he accepts and loves Leland for who he is. The pacing is fantastic, and there are so many lines that forced me to stop so I could catch my breath laughing and made me wonder how many times the narrator had to do the same. A fantastic read only enhanced by an amazing narration!

do not listen in public

Having already read this book I decided to listen to the audiobook, thus turning an already very funny story into a LOL story. I received many strange looks, especially on the bus when listening to the sex swing escapades. Can't wait to listen to the next book.

fun with action that have asking for more

Jackson and leland stole my heart from the moment i met them

The hitman's guide to making friends and finding love was fun hilarious action packed hot intense beautiful powerful and incredible

I was so excited to see what was going to happen from page to page

Leland and Jackson had me on the edge of my seat at times I did not want to put the book down

one minute your laughing the next your crying and then crying with laughter

I can't wait to see what will happen next with Jackson and leland's journey

michael ferraiuolo did such a beautiful job bringing leyland and jackson to life he didn't just narrate the story he gave me a incredible performance

Hilarious!

Amazing narrator and hikarious story. Found myself grinning like a maniac on the way to work. Loved it!

Fabulous

I'm not usually a big fan of audio books (why I don't know) but as I love the book version, I thought I'd give the audio version a go. It's fabulous and hilarious. Michael Ferraiuolo does an awesome job with the narration - particularly Leland. His Leland is exactly how I imagined him. Needless to say, I'm looking forward to the 2nd one on audio.

Its not the book, its me

I really wanted to love this book, but I just couldn't get really into it. There wasn't anything wrong so maybe its just me.
I liked other books from Alice Winters, In the Darkness-series and Within the Mind are absolutely wonderful.
I just found Leland annoying instead of funny. And its hard to like a story if you don't like the MC.
Michael F is a very talented narrator and he gives each character unique voice. But I kinda miss Joel Leslie, I'm used to his voice in Alice Winters books...

Sweet and funny.

A slightly ridiculous storyline, but very entertaining, laugh out loud funny in places. I would buy a sequel.

Very funny and Thrilling book

I really like Alice Winters style of writing and this book exhibits all her best skills. The wit, banter, drama and heart are amazingly linked to produce a book which I did want to end.

I Highly recommend to everyone as this book will make you laugh out loud and keep you on the edge of your seat.

solid 4 stars from me

I have to admit the first time I listened to this I didn't enjoy it,that was some time ago but I listened to it again this week and I loved it!
I just bought the next one in the series too..I don't normally listen to 'funny' stories but it made me laugh at times and I'm looking forward to starting the next one now.

Great Listen

I've come to the conclusion that Alice Winters is the reason I'm still single. Her writing and her characters, along with how there relationships are done leave me wanting that and only that for my future. Great book as always from my favourite author. can do no wrong in my eyes.