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Publisher's Summary

What happens when a snarky hit man and a by-the-book PI cross paths?

Leland
Being a hit man has its perks, but I never thought getting an accidental mooning by an attractive PI while he’s caught on a fence would be one of them. While it’s not exactly love at first sight, he’s captured my interest and won’t let go.

Suddenly, I find myself caught in a game of cat and mouse, determined to attract the attention of Jackson, the PI who should be my enemy. He pretends like he’s not flattered by my flowers and the mentions of my totally-not-fictitious blow-up doll, Randy (or was it Dandy?), but I know better. Why else would he be teaming up with me to bring down Hardek, one of the city’s most ruthless criminals?

Jackson
Even though the cops are telling me that the hit man is a notorious contract killer, I can’t help but admit that I’m drawn to him. He’s funny, charismatic, and attractive. There’s no way this ridiculous man can be the person the cops are after.

But when Leland ends up at my doorstep injured, I’m faced with a tough choice. It’s my duty to hand him over to law enforcement, but my heart has other plans. I want to keep him. To protect him. To be with him.

Though one question remains: Why in the world does the man have so many d*mn guns?

Contains: shenanigans on a swing that you would not find at a playground, a car chase that sadly doesn't have flips or explosions, a horsey ride sans horse, cuddles, an exuberant mutt, a suspicious chief of police, and lots and lots of laughs.

©2019 Alice Winters (P)2019 Alice Winters

What listeners say about The Hitman's Guide to Making Friends and Finding Love

Average Customer Ratings
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literal tears of laughter

Quite possibly one of the funniest books of the year, I was in literal tears of laughter listening to this narration (definitely do not listen whilst driving, you will only endanger yourself & others when you can't control your laughing). Having Leland and Jackson brought to life in my ears may just be the greatest gift I've given myself, such a joy to listen to and Michael has nailed Leland's hilariously ridiculousness and Jackson's attempt at seriousness perfectly. COULD NOT RECOMMEND MORE!

15 people found this helpful

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Hilarious, Touching and Totally Inappropriate

I laughed aloud throughout the performance because hitman Leland has few lines he won't cross. P.I. Jackson has the misfortune to became the target of a bored hitman's interest. But Leland loves to jerk his chain and finds that Jackson is the real deal. Leland's story is actually tragic and his humor is a defense mechanism. I love Jackson because he's a good guy. The only reason for four stars is that I wish the author had reigned in Leland's ridiculousness somewhat. He is beyond crude. But this is both a mystery and a love story that works.

7 people found this helpful

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Fantastic narration and characters!

I have never read or listened to this author or narrator before and I was very happy I tried this audio book. I laughed out loud many many times while listening. This author has written complicated quirky characters ( OMG Leland is awesome!) that the narrator really hit perfectly. Just wow, he was fantastic. Book 2 is out but I'm going to wait till the audio because in this case I dont think reading it will do it justice.

7 people found this helpful

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It’s Leland’s World, You Just Live In It

First Michael bringing Leland to life was out of this world funny. Who could not LOVE Leland and Jackson are funny, steamy, loving and caring together. It’s the perfect opposites attract and age gap romance.

7 people found this helpful

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I loved this book!!

It was so funny and the narrator was perfect! He brought both characters to life. I would recommend this book for anyone looking for a light hearted book with lots of LOL moments! I can't say enough good things about it!

6 people found this helpful

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entertaining

Did the story keep me engaged: yes Were there any parts I found annoying: no Did I feel an emotional connection to the characters: yes Would I listen to it again: yes • Story is entertaining, dialog amusing and characters likeable. If you go into this book expecting general silliness and nothing particularly deep you won't be disappointed. • Michael Ferraiuolo does a fantastic job on the narration, his sweet, snarky always enthusiastic Leland is spot on and Jackson comes across as the perfect straight laced PI. Thoroughly enjoyed it.

6 people found this helpful

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A brilliant, funny, riveting listen.

Alice Winters has become an auto buy for me and each story she crafts has been superb. Hitman’s Guide is highly original, laugh out loud funny and kept me riveted from the first page. Michael Ferraiuolo is a relatively new to me narrator and he has fast become one of my top five. His voice acting is pitch perfect and perfectly encapsulates each character. Highly recommended!

6 people found this helpful

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Too long!

Not a bad story, but this book needed editing. It would have been better served being broken up into two novels if the author was too wedded to her subplots to cut them. The actual case plot was good, and I mostly liked Leland, but Jackson seemed bland and the parts from his POV didn't grab me after about chapter 4. Narrator clearly did his best with what he was given, but some of the dialogue, especially Leland's, doesn't really work when spoken aloud, and some things that would be funny in print made me cringe in audio. The romance felt a bit forced towards the end-- no need to keep TELLING me how in love you're characters are, if you're doing a good job SHOWING it. Also, the sex scenes weren't really my cup of tea. If you like wacky romance, this might be for you. I felt like the sample gave me an expectation for the characters that wasn't borne out by the book, and the writing could use some more polish, but that's me. If you're intrigued by the sample, by all means give it a listen; there was enough that I liked that I don't regret buying it. Just don't expect it to be over quick!

3 people found this helpful

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LOVED IT!!!!

Great story! laughed and cried and laughed so much I cried! I want my own Hitman or want to be a Hitman of the 2...or both!!! I want more!!!

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gay twit serial killer

I hated the part of this I suffered through. the killer has the gay voice gay act that I hate.

1 person found this helpful

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  • Kat
  • 11-18-19

Be Prepared to Laugh

Alice Winters is a genius at writing gripping stories full of action, while also stuffing it full of enough humour to have you literally laughing out loud. A Hitman's Guide is a fantastic addition to her repetoire, and I was beyond excited to see it not only in audio, but narrated by the amazing Michael Ferraiuolo. The story is incredibly unique - Leland is a hitman, raised to the job from a rough childhood. He expresses himself through humour and rarely takes any situation seriously, much to Jackson's dismay. Jackson is a PI whose current case overlaps Leland's job. An unfortunate encounter with a fence exposes about more than he meant to, and draws Leland's eye and mild (ok...pretty intense) obsession. Leland uses his wiles, guns, and unflagging enthusiasm to get Jackson reluctantly on his side and hijinks ensue. Aside from the humour, an absolute stellar cast, and an enthralling plot, there is real heartfelt romance. Really a fantastic book all around. The narration done by Ferraiuolo is the literal cherry on the sundae. Because Winters gives her characters such personality I was worried the narration wouldn't match my internal voices for the characters, but Ferraiuolo managed to get it PERFECT. Leland is snarky, sweet, and fast. You really get his emotions and how much he enjoys himself, while catching glimpses of his hidden depths. Jackson is the perfect straight man to Leland, but has moments of softness as he accepts and loves Leland for who he is. The pacing is fantastic, and there are so many lines that forced me to stop so I could catch my breath laughing and made me wonder how many times the narrator had to do the same. A fantastic read only enhanced by an amazing narration!

5 people found this helpful

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  • Mama H
  • 02-16-20

Its not the book, its me

I really wanted to love this book, but I just couldn't get really into it. There wasn't anything wrong so maybe its just me. I liked other books from Alice Winters, In the Darkness-series and Within the Mind are absolutely wonderful. I just found Leland annoying instead of funny. And its hard to like a story if you don't like the MC. Michael F is a very talented narrator and he gives each character unique voice. But I kinda miss Joel Leslie, I'm used to his voice in Alice Winters books...

1 person found this helpful

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  • Katie townsend
  • 11-20-19

fun with action that have asking for more

Jackson and leland stole my heart from the moment i met them The hitman's guide to making friends and finding love was fun hilarious action packed hot intense beautiful powerful and incredible I was so excited to see what was going to happen from page to page Leland and Jackson had me on the edge of my seat at times I did not want to put the book down one minute your laughing the next your crying and then crying with laughter I can't wait to see what will happen next with Jackson and leland's journey michael ferraiuolo did such a beautiful job bringing leyland and jackson to life he didn't just narrate the story he gave me a incredible performance

1 person found this helpful

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  • Delano
  • 11-18-19

Very funny and Thrilling book

I really like Alice Winters style of writing and this book exhibits all her best skills. The wit, banter, drama and heart are amazingly linked to produce a book which I did want to end. I Highly recommend to everyone as this book will make you laugh out loud and keep you on the edge of your seat.

1 person found this helpful

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  • Sam Baker
  • 11-28-20

Hilarious!

Amazing narrator and hikarious story. Found myself grinning like a maniac on the way to work. Loved it!

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  • Aussiebumwearer
  • 09-20-20

Loved It!

Hysterically funny throughout - the one liners and tongue in cheek humour will have you laughing for hours.. guaranteed!! Michael Ferraiuolo is one of my favourite narrators and excellently narrates this audiobook and injects the humour intended by the author. So can’t wait to hear the next instalment if this one had me in tears and fits of laughter 😂😂😂 5🌟’s across the board and highly recommend!! 😁😊

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  • Mrs. E. J. Curtis
  • 06-05-20

Great story

The story and characters are engaging and the narrator has very distinctive voices for each character, always a plus for me.

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    5 out of 5 stars
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  • Loobylou
  • 04-20-20

Fabulous

I'm not usually a big fan of audio books (why I don't know) but as I love the book version, I thought I'd give the audio version a go. It's fabulous and hilarious. Michael Ferraiuolo does an awesome job with the narration - particularly Leland. His Leland is exactly how I imagined him. Needless to say, I'm looking forward to the 2nd one on audio.

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  • Romaine Seebohm
  • 04-01-20

do not listen in public

Having already read this book I decided to listen to the audiobook, thus turning an already very funny story into a LOL story. I received many strange looks, especially on the bus when listening to the sex swing escapades. Can't wait to listen to the next book.

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  • HelenMK69
  • 01-31-20

Hilarious

This is a well written funny book, lots of snark. If you can imagine the main character Leland as a Gay Deadpool then you will be very close. I need to recommend this book to everyone who needs to actually laugh out loud when listening to this. The narrator is wonderful with his character, I seriously smiled right the way through the book.

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  • Alan
  • 11-30-19

Loads of fun!

Loveable airhead, Leland, is a deadly hitman who seems to be modelled on the Jack McFarland character in Will & Grace. When their paths cross, he utterly charms and frustrates Jackson, a private investigator who takes life much more seriously. As usual, Michael Ferrauola captures the humour perfectly. Ridiculously amusing!

3 people found this helpful

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  • Traece
  • 02-13-20

Funny and captivating - couldn’t stop smiling.

I loved this book, the characters grab a hold of you and pull you into the story! The narration was clear and warm, enhancing the tone of the story. Highly recommend. If you have never read/heard Alice Winters, this is an excellent place to start.

2 people found this helpful

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  • Kelly
  • 01-30-20

The narrator was amazing as Leland!

I enjoyed the humour so much when I read this book last month that I decided to one-click the audio AND it was fantastic! The narrator was awesome, first audio I've listened to by him, and he did such a wonderful performance voicing both of the different characters. He performed Leland's character perfectly = 5 star performance. I stumbled across The Hitman’s Guide to Making Friends and Finding Love when I was looking for my next KU read. Alice Winters is a new to me author, but I’ll definitely be looking at some of her other books to add to my TBR list. This is probably the most light hearted, amusing and entertaining book I’ve read that involves a Hitman and a PI. Leland is the type of character that makes every scene he’s in fun to read. He has zero chill, he’s always talking and constantly fidgeting, and he adores Jackson. Leland loves pushing boundaries and saying the most ridiculous things. He’s hilarious. Poor Jackson didn’t know what he was in for when he fell over that fence and mooned Leland, capturing his complete attention from then on. The relationship development, constant banter between these 2, and action scenes = a fun read.

2 people found this helpful

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  • P D
  • 01-10-20

Not to be missed!!!

This was an absolute joy to listen to!!!! The author and narrator deserve more than 5 stars!!!!!!

1 person found this helpful

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  • The Smut Librarian
  • 12-12-19

Funny and highly entertaining!

With brilliant characters, a dynamic storyline and Michael Ferraiuolo brings Alice's wonderful writing to life! A top choice!

1 person found this helpful

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  • Geoffrey
  • 08-05-20

Relentlessly silly

Unbelievable characters, tirelessly annoying (Leland is a Hitman’s...c’mon?) and an almost non-existent story. Even the abundant sex isn’t very sexy. Surely there has to be an author of gay themed novels who can write. This is just trashy, exploitative nonsense.

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  • David
  • 05-17-20

Good start but unrealistic ending

I really enjoyed the first half of the book but had a hard time to finish it when the story became too unrealistic for me. I did enjoy the touches of humour and the narration.

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  • Jayltee
  • 04-04-20

Hilarious

Genuinely laugh out loud funny. Leland is hyper and an absolute classic and Jackson is a perfect foil for him. Loved them and their relationship so much. Can’t wait for the next book.

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  • Anonymous User
  • 03-25-20

Great start, but gets tedious

It started strong and highly engaging and then the pace just drops for several chapters in the middle. It partly regains its momentum but unfortunately the chemistry between the main characters gets repetitive. Amazing narrator however, really brings it to life.