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The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster
- Narrated by: John Lee
- Length: 5 hrs and 10 mins
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Publisher's Summary
Can I get a “ramen” from the congregation?!
Behold the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (FSM), today’s fastest growing carbohydrate-based religion. According to church founder Bobby Henderson, the universe and all life within it were created by a mystical and divine being: the Flying Spaghetti Monster. What drives the FSM's devout followers, a.k.a. Pastafarians? Some say it’s the assuring touch from the FSM’s “noodly appendage”. Then there are those who love the worship service, which is conducted in pirate talk and attended by congregants in dashing buccaneer garb. Still others are drawn to the church’s flimsy moral standards, religious holidays every Friday, or the fact that Pastafarian heaven is way cooler: Does your heaven have a Stripper Factory and a Beer Volcano? Intelligent design has finally met its match - and it has nothing to do with apes or the Olive Garden of Eden.
Within this audiobook, Bobby Henderson outlines the true facts - dispelling such malicious myths as evolution (“only a theory”), science (“only a lot of theories”), and whether we’re really descended from apes (fact: Humans share 95 percent of their DNA with chimpanzees, but they share 99.9 percent with pirates!).
See what impressively credentialed top scientists have to say:
“If intelligent design is taught in schools, equal time should be given to the FSM theory and the non-FSM theory.” (Professor Douglas Shaw, PhD)
“Do not be hypocritical. Allow equal time for other alternative ‘theories’ like FSMism, which is by far the tastier choice.” (J. Simon, PhD)
“In my scientific opinion, when comparing the two theories, FSM theory seems to be more valid than classic ID theory.” (Afshin Beheshti, PhD)
Listen to the book and decide for yourself!
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What listeners say about The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster
Average Customer RatingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Performance
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- steve wright
- 02-27-21
Fabulously Delicious Book!
This an amazing book filed with, what I believe to be, even though I can't prove it, science fact. May we all be touched by his noodly appendages!
R'amen!
6 people found this helpful
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- Rhon S
- 10-05-21
loved it....ok, maybe not the math parts
What's not to love when there are midgets and beer fountains, right? I have been exploring FSM for a year or so. It was meant to be. After all, my fav cake is german chocolate. Coincidence? I think not! Interesting take on religious theories. Behind the hype is the concept of kindness and acceptance. Religion today should take note! Worth the read only if you can do so with an open mind and a sense of humor. R'amen!
2 people found this helpful
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- K Bear
- 12-10-22
Life changing!
Memorable, inspiring, greatest text of all time. I was laughing, crying and enlightened all at once.
1 person found this helpful
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- Lindsay
- 02-21-22
Hilarious and insightful, thoroughly enjoyed.
Intelligently written and humorous to boot. Give it a try and see for yourself, R'amen!
1 person found this helpful
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- Mikey
- 03-06-23
It’s a bit repetitive.
Like any holy scripture, it does have a lot of repetition. Honestly, I had to fast forward by the time I got to the enlightenment institute. I did laugh out loud at a few places. Overall it’s good to know the basics of your religion, and this does cover it.
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- Andy
- 03-04-23
Satire is hard.
Disappointing. Heavy handed, puerile and redundant. A hilarious bumper sticker concept stretched out to a whole book. Does not work.
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- Emily Lowery
- 03-26-22
The True Way To Glory
After i listen to this book i had to process for many days and in that time i process what i had learned and i have come to the conclusion that we must all accept the giant spaghetti monster in the sky and live in its word to be touched by it noodly appendages if this book doesn’t change your life i don’t know what will i will leave you with that
R’amen
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Story
Meet Mazie Phillips: big hearted and bawdy, she's the truth-telling proprietress of The Venice, the famed New York City movie theater. It's the Jazz Age, with romance and booze aplenty - even when Prohibition kicks in - and Mazie never turns down a night on the town. But her high spirits mask a childhood rooted in poverty, and her diary, always close at hand, holds her dearest secrets.
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A Rough Gritty Story Of A Hard Life
- By Sara on 06-20-15
By: Jami Attenberg
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Put Out More Flags
- By: Evelyn Waugh
- Narrated by: Michael Maloney
- Length: 5 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Upper-class scoundrel Basil Seal, mad, bad, and dangerous to know, creates havoc wherever he goes, much to the despair of the three women in his life - his sister, his mother, and his mistress. When Neville Chamberlain declares war on Germany, it seems the perfect opportunity for more action and adventure. So Basil follows the call to arms and sets forth to enjoy his finest hour - as a war hero. Basil's instincts for self-preservation come to the fore as he insinuates himself into the Ministry of Information and a little-known section of Military Security.
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Wickedly Funny
- By Lilly K on 07-25-19
By: Evelyn Waugh
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The Hunger
- By: Alma Katsu
- Narrated by: Kirsten Potter
- Length: 10 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Tamsen Donner must be a witch. That is the only way to explain the series of misfortunes that have plagued the wagon train known as the Donner Party. Depleted rations, bitter quarrels, and the mysterious death of a little boy have driven the pioneers to the brink of madness. They cannot escape the feeling that someone - or something - is stalking them. Whether it was a curse from the beautiful Tamsen, the choice to follow an experimental route West, or just bad luck - the 90 men, women, and children of the Donner Party are at the brink of one of the deadliest adventures in history.
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Soap opera posing as horror
- By Karen Weaver on 03-23-18
By: Alma Katsu
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Oranges Are Not the Only Fruit
- By: Jeanette Winterson
- Narrated by: Jeanette Winterson
- Length: 6 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Jeanette is a bright and rebellious orphan who is adopted into an evangelical household in the dour, industrial North of England and finds herself embroidering grim religious mottoes and shaking her little tambourine for Jesus. But as this budding missionary comes of age, and comes to terms with her unorthodox sexuality, the peculiar balance of her God-fearing household dissolves. Jeanette’s insistence on listening to truths of her own heart and mind - and on reporting them with wit and passion - makes for an unforgettable chronicle of an eccentric, moving passage into adulthood.
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quirky and odd
- By Kelly on 01-06-20
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Any Man
- A Novel
- By: Amber Tamblyn
- Narrated by: Glenn Davis, Robin Miles, Therese Plummer, and others
- Length: 4 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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In this electric and provocative debut novel, Amber Tamblyn blends genres of poetry, prose, and elements of suspense to give shape to the shocking narratives of victims of sexual violence, mapping the destructive ways in which our society perpetuates rape culture, brilliantly brought to life through a multi-voice performance featuring Glenn Davis, Ben Foster, Marc Maron, Jason Ritter, John Roberts, Russ Tamblyn, Amber Tamblyn, January Lavoy, Phoebe Strole, Robin Miles, Thérèse Plummer, Dan Bittner, James Fouhey, and Michael Crouch.
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I've been finished with this for hours
- By Bill on 06-29-18
By: Amber Tamblyn
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Difficult Women
- By: Roxane Gay
- Narrated by: Robin Miles
- Length: 8 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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The women in these stories live lives of privilege and of poverty, are in marriages both loving and haunted by past crimes or emotional blackmail. A pair of sisters, grown now, have been inseparable ever since they were abducted together as children and must negotiate the elder sister's marriage. A woman married to a twin pretends not to realize when her husband and his brother impersonate each other. A stripper putting herself through college fends off the advances of an overzealous customer.
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Solid good writing, but not a great collection
- By Anna H on 07-31-17
By: Roxane Gay
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The World According to Garp
- A Novel
- By: John Irving
- Narrated by: MacLeod Andrews, John Irving
- Length: 20 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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The opening sentence of John Irving's breakout novel, The World According to Garp, signals the start of sexual violence, which becomes increasingly political. "Garp's mother, Jenny Fields, was arrested in Boston in 1942 for wounding a man in a movie theater." Jenny is an unmarried nurse; she becomes a single mom and a feminist leader, beloved but polarizing. Her son, Garp, is less beloved, but no less polarizing.
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My 2nd favorite Irving novel so far
- By Juleshm on 05-10-19
By: John Irving
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This Is How You Die
- Stories of the Inscrutable, Infallible, Inescapable Machine of Death
- By: David Malki - editor, Ryan North - editor
- Narrated by: Dan Woren, Will Collyer, Robert Morgan Fisher, and others
- Length: 15 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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The machines started popping up around the world. The offer was tempting: with a simple blood test, anyone could know how they would die. But the machines didn't give dates or specific circumstances - just a single word or phrase. DROWNED, CANCER, OLD AGE, CHOKED ON A HANDFUL OF POPCORN. And though the predictions were always accurate, they were also often frustratingly vague.
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Fate Inescapable
- By Ryan on 07-06-14
By: David Malki - editor, and others
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Outside Looking In
- A Novel
- By: T. C. Boyle
- Narrated by: Johnathan McClain
- Length: 14 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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In 1943, LSD is synthesized in Basel. Two decades later, a coterie of grad students at Harvard are gradually drawn into the inner circle of renowned psychologist and psychedelic drug enthusiast Timothy Leary. Fitzhugh Loney, a psychology PhD student, and his wife, Joanie, become entranced by the drug’s possibilities such that their “research” becomes less a matter of clinical trials and academic papers and instead turns into a freewheeling exploration of mind expansion, group dynamics, and communal living.
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STORYTELLING AS CONSCIOUSNESS-RAISING
- By Christopher Meeks on 05-25-19
By: T. C. Boyle
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The String Diaries
- By: Stephen Lloyd Jones
- Narrated by: Gemma Whelan
- Length: 13 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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The String Diaries opens with Hannah frantically driving through the night - her daughter asleep in the back, her husband bleeding out in the seat beside her. In the trunk of the car rests a cache of diaries dating back 200 years, tied and retied with strings through generations. The diaries carry the rules for survival that have been handed down from mother to daughter since the 19th century. But how can Hannah escape an enemy with the ability to look and sound like the people she loves?
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Misophonia Warning
- By EmilyAnne on 10-06-16
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Unthinkable
- An Extraordinary Journey Through the World's Strangest Brains
- By: Helen Thomson
- Narrated by: Helen Thomson
- Length: 7 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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A prize-winning journalist with a background in neuroscience, Helen Thomson spent years tracking down people who live with the world's most extraordinary neurological disorders - like a man who tried to break his back because his legs no longer felt like his own, and another who believed that he was dead for nine years. Not content to simply read about these cases on paper, Thomson reached out to 10 people with these afflictions, and they agreed to tell her their stories.
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Very interesting
- By Ruthi on 07-01-19
By: Helen Thomson
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How to Die in Space
- A Journey Through Dangerous Astrophysical Phenomena
- By: Paul M. Sutter PhD
- Narrated by: Paul M. Sutter PhD
- Length: 12 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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So you’ve fallen in love with space and now you want to see it for yourself, huh? You want to witness the birth of a star, or visit the black hole at the center of our galaxy? You want to know if there are aliens out there, or how to travel through a wormhole? You want the wonders of the universe revealed before your very eyes? Well stop, because all that will probably kill you.
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Read me
- By william on 12-27-20
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The Lighthouse Keeper's Daughter
- A Novel
- By: Hazel Gaynor
- Narrated by: Imogen Church
- Length: 10 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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1838: Northumberland, England. Longstone Lighthouse on the Farne Islands has been Grace Darling’s home for all of her 22 years. When she and her father rescue shipwreck survivors in a furious storm, Grace becomes celebrated throughout England, the subject of poems and plays. 1938: Newport, Rhode Island. Nineteen-years-old and pregnant, Matilda Emmerson has b