The Four Tendencies

The Indispensable Personality Profiles That Reveal How to Make Your Life Better (and Other People's Lives Better, Too)

De: Gretchen Rubin

Narrado por: Gretchen Rubin

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • Are you an Upholder, a Questioner, an Obliger, or a Rebel? From the author of Better Than Before and The Happiness Project comes a groundbreaking analysis of personality type that “will immediately improve every area of your life” (Melissa Urban, co-founder of the Whole30).

During her multibook investigation into human nature, Gretchen Rubin realized that by asking the seemingly dry question “How do I respond to expectations?” we gain explosive self-knowledge. She discovered that based on their answer, people fit into Four Tendencies:

• Upholders meet outer and inner expectations readily. “Discipline is my freedom.”
• Questioners meet inner expectations, but meet outer expectations only if they make sense. “If you convince me why, I’ll comply.”
• Obligers (the largest Tendency) meet outer expectations, but struggle to meet inner expectations—therefore, they need outer accountability to meet inner expectations. “You can count on me, and I’m counting on you to count on me.”
• Rebels (the smallest group) resist all expectations, outer and inner alike. They do what they choose to do, when they choose to do it, and typically they don’t tell themselves what to do. “You can’t make me, and neither can I.”

Our Tendency shapes every aspect of our behavior, so using this framework allows us to make better decisions, meet deadlines, suffer less stress, and engage more effectively. It’s far easier to succeed when you know what works for you.

With sharp insight, compelling research, and hilarious examples, The Four Tendencies will help you get happier, healthier, more productive, and more creative.

Useful to know 4 tendencies when dealing w/ people

If you're familiar with the book "Better Than Before" or the podcast "Happier with Gretchen Rubin," a lot of the information in this book isn't new except for the additional examples and techniques for dealing with the different tendency types. However, it still contains useful information. If you ask a person how they feel about new year's resolutions, these are the typical responses from the 4 tendencies:
* Upholder - Will make and keep new year's resolutions.
* Questioner - Think Jan. 1 is an arbitrary date. Will make and keep resolutions when they feel like it.
* Obliger - Stopped making new year's resolutions because they can't keep them.
* Rebel - Don't believe in making resolutions.

Then knowing a person's tendency, there are techniques for working with them:
* Upholder - Tell them what needs to be done and when, and they'll tell you whether they can do it.
* Questioner - Explain "why" something needs to be done and ensure they understand the purpose/value. Then tell them what needs to be done.
* Obliger - Tell them who needs it. Make sure they're not overcommitted before asking them to do something.
* Rebel - Don't tell them to do something because they don't like being told to do it. Explain the situation and give them a choice. A common technique for rebel children is saying "Do you want a hamburger or a hot dog," instead of telling them to eat lunch.

Listen to it right away! Amazing!

I recommend this book to anyone that has trouble understanding the motivations of others, especially if you are in healthcare or fitness. It will illuminate everyday choices in a way that will change your life.

Great insights into what makes people tick

There are a lot of different ways to analyze people to understand them. This is a new one on me and very, very useful. It doesn’t replace other frameworks, but it does add a new way to get along with others and yourself.

Highly recommended

I have read Gretchen Rubins other books, and they didn’t disappoint. In my opinion, This one was better than those. In other personality quizzes, or theories, or books.... I usually am very close to an overall mix of the categories that they are talking about. So going into this book The Four Tendencies, and her other book ‘Better than Before’ I felt it was just going to be the same - I had very little faith in it. Buuut... I’m a questioner... and this book identified that sooo clearly. I would have thought that this section was written about me... it was as if she was secretly following me around listening to my every word and watching every move. Even her examples for a questioner... I have done. And the week before I read this book I actually said to my friend “I know! I know too much Information and I can’t stop getting more, when does it end?! I exhaust myself, so I must be exhausting you.” Anyway, I recommend this book to anyone. It’s a good read.

A good read / listen

I absolutely recognize I have always behaved as my tendency result said. Therefore I trust this book as a practical mindset help. The advice on how to actually deal with your tendency is a bit short and shallow... but as is, it is already immensely helpful to read/ listen