• The Five Trials

  • By: Mike Truk
  • Narrated by: Leo Barnabas
  • Length: 16 hrs and 34 mins
  • 4.3 out of 5 stars (1,275 ratings)

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The Five Trials  By  cover art

The Five Trials

By: Mike Truk
Narrated by: Leo Barnabas
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Publisher's summary

My name's Noah Kilmartin. I'm from Ruddock, Ohio, and I'm absolutely, 100 percent unqualified to save the universe from the slavering demonic hordes of the super evil bitch queen Lilith. Too bad nobody asked my opinion.

All I've got to do is pass five lethal trials that'll prove I'm the universe's last chance at salvation. To do so, I'll have to lean hard on those three years of Okinawan jiu-jutsu classes I took in high school, learn to wield my new magic sword, and, oh yeah - select five women to flesh out my team, bonding with each one for arcane purposes and desperately trying to stay alive in the process.

Piece of cake. Right?

Warning and minor spoilers: The Five Trials is a book intended for mature listeners age 18 years and older. It contains graphic sex, medieval violence, and nudity. People curse, piss their pants, hack off heads, get a little dizzy and tortured, seduce each other, try to seduce each other, and get scared witless by horrors from the darkest dimensions. Most importantly, you'll meet gorgeous, powerful women, some capable for hurling lightning, others of swinging battle-axes, and one that's Noah's unrequited crush from high school. All of them are willing to enter unconventional, polyamorous harem relationships if it means saving the universe, and luckily for Noah, this time it actually does.

©2018 Mike Truk (P)2018 Audible, Inc.

What listeners say about The Five Trials

Average customer ratings
Overall
  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
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  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars

Cringe

if I could post a "nice guy" meme I would. The MC totally rubbed me the wrong way. He is a spineless nobody that pines after his childhood crush even after she rejects him to his face and then builds a harem but still pines after her all while the universe is ending. That's pretty much the story with the addition of a few obligatory action scenes. It's like clockwork. MC finds hot chick, They fight through a trial, Sex scene, MC finds hot chick, they fight through a trial, sex scene, and so on. I called it quites after the second trial BC I realized that the "5 trials" mentioned in the title is most likely the whole book and I was wasting my time if what I'm looking for is any character development or plot building. Narration was great! He totally nailed the whining

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50 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    1 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars
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    1 out of 5 stars

I was warned

First I need to give a mea culpa. I was warned. I read other reviews that told me how bad this was. But (as has happened before) I read the synopsis and thought, "okay surely it won't be that bad".

It is that bad. The reader isn't too bad I mean he's got the words to read. But the book. The main character is so far beyond annoying that that had this been a physical print book I'd have hurled it out the nearest window. I'd have taken the advice attributed to either Dorothy Parker or Sid Ziff, "This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force."

The main character is the saddest dweebyist excuse for a protagonist it has ever been my displeasure to "meet". Not only that but he never changes or grows, he never even learns to fake it. He is in short pathetic, and I don't mean good or sympathetic pathetic. I mean "Oh good grief how dense can you be I can't take it any more" pathetic.

The book has a lot of gratuitous sex. I don't look for that, but it's not a deal breaker. At worst I can FF through it if it gets to all consuming. Here it's possibly the only reason anyone might stay with the book. This idiot is very aware no girl would ever want him, but he's in love with the girl he's known all his life. Still this doesn't keep him from lusting over every female in the book. ALSO EVERY female we meet here is incomparably beautiful...

Look, my recommendation? Save the credit and use it on something worth listening to.

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48 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars
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    1 out of 5 stars

horrible whiny MC

The MC is awful. This book is 16 hours of a whining crying 12 year old beta male running from conflict. He has no redeeming characteristics he pisses himself constantly both literally and figuratively. When he isnt hiding under the bed from scary vaginas throwing themselves at him he is pining for the one girl who doesnt want him. He has zero agency no agenda no plan hes not a char he is furniture that hates itself.

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37 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    2 out of 5 stars

Troubling

I don’t know why this is but the last few books of this nature that I’ve read as well as this one. The MC seems to be mentally unable to cope with the things going on and to him/her that the story suffers to the point of me not wanting to finish or caring how the book ends. It’s frustrating. They don’t have to be superheroes right off the bat but to continually piss yourself or doubt yourself from start to finish makes for a horrible MC.

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26 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    1 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    1 out of 5 stars

Worst MC ever..

I’m sorry but this mc was painful to listen to.. constantly whining, crying, and just plain pathetic.. he has a few moments where he steps up but for every 1 minute of him stepping up you have to put up with several hours of whining and just anxiety causing insecurities.

I wanted to give this a chance despite the other reviews.. but they were right. Too much whining.

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23 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

a bit over-sexualized for me but I great action

I'm a recent newcomer to books like this. this light RPG hair masks style. I didn't think I'd enjoy this book but it was recommended by a friend and also recommended by Amazon. I tried my best not to judge a book by it's cover I thought it was just going to be one of those sex harem style novels. but I enjoyed the story so much that I went ahead and ordered book 2 and book 3. The voice actor did an awesome job of conveying the emotions of each of the characters. I think this is well worth the price I paid for. The book was 6 bucks in the audiobook was $2. I think it was a great price for that. I hope you guys enjoy too. definitely very sexualized. so if you're a type of individual who enjoys the nerdy geeky guy becoming a hero and making love to beautiful women then this is a book for you. reader beware some of the sexual offense get a bit intense. it's not just romantic love it's a full-on hardcore p*** fest at times. 😅if they were to give this book a rating in a movie it definitely be on HBO again to a game of thrones except without so much incest LOL

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8 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
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    2 out of 5 stars

Not my cup of tea.

This is a sex fantasy novel no doubt about it. However the emphasis on the sex over the creativity of the rest of the story is off puting. This story is so generic and bland I can't bring myself to finish it. On top of that the sexual encounters are not romantic at all but just dirty and casual. If that is your thing then enjoy.

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8 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    2 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars

It was alright

I liked the story, it’s interesting, and it’s very engaging. The narrator kind of killed it for me though, I’m not sure if it’s the way he talks or what but for me it took a lot from the book.

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5 people found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

loved it

the story was great narrator very good kept me on the edge of my seat the whole time!

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5 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

Great story but frustrating MC

The story of the book was good, narrator was great but its annoying and frustrating that the MC always sounds meek after finally acting more forward and didnt really see how the martial arts applies if he doesnt use it...

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5 people found this helpful