The First Time She Drowned

By: Kerry Kletter

Narrated by: Jorjeana Marie

The beautiful struggle of a girl desperate for the one relationship that has caused her the most pain

Cassie O'Malley has spent the past two and a half years in a mental institution—dumped there by her mother, against her will. Now, at 18, Cassie emancipates herself, determined to start over. She attends college, forms new friendships, and even attempts to start fresh with her mother. But before long, their unhealthy relationship threatens to pull Cassie under once again. As Cassie struggles to reclaim her life, childhood memories persist and confuse, and Cassie must consider whose version of history is real, and more important, whose life she must save.

A bold, literary story about the fragile complexities of mothers and daughters and learning to love oneself, The First Time She Drowned reminds us that we must dive deep into our pasts if we are ever to move forward.

Praise for The First Time She Drowned:

"Lyrical, emotional...resonant." —Entertainment Weekly, MUST LIST

"Beautiful and passionate . . . [Kletter is] a writer of great distinction and infinite promise." —Pat Conroy, #1 New York Times bestselling author of The Prince of Tides and South of Broad

"[A] lovely and haunting keep-you-up-all-night heart-wrencher that is both beautiful and raw, painful and uplifting. It’s utterly amazing. An incredible read." —Jennifer Niven, New York Times bestselling author of All the Bright Places

"Sentence by sentence . . . one of the most lyrical novels I’ve ever read. Haunting and exquisite." —Nicola Yoon, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Everything, Everything

"The First Time She Drowned is an exquisite and masterful dive, a brave exploration into the complexities of family, and the saving grace of friendship. Kletter’s writing is hypnotic, her characters alive, her story tragic, beautiful, hopeful. Simply put, this book is stunning." —David Arnold, critically acclaimed author of Mosquitoland

"[A] beautiful, gut-wrenching ache of a story. If you are at all interested in books, this is required reading." —Becky Albertalli, author of the Morris Award-winning Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda

"The best writers are able to tell the most difficult stories with the most empathy, and that’s just what Kletter does in this haunting debut. Complex, affirming, and beautifully written." —Stephanie Kuehn, author of the Morris Award-winning Charm & Strange

"Gorgeous, sumptuously lyrical, luminous…a feast for lovers of language. The First Time She Drowned singlehandedly shatters every argument that YA books aren't fit fare for adults." —Jeff Zentner, author of The Serpent King

* "[An] excellent debut novel....heart-wrenching....Readers who enjoy the suspense of unreliable narrators, as in Adele Griffin’s Loud Awake and Lost or Stephanie Kuehn’s Complicit, will appreciate this one." —Booklist *STARRED REVIEW*

"This heartfelt, lyrical debut will strike a chord with older teens who appreciate contemporary fiction." —Kirkus Reviews

"An absorbing read." —VOYA

"Kletter’s exploration of a dysfunctional family...is raw with emotion…a sophisticated read.” —School Library Journal

"Emotionally devastating...a complex novel that ultimately uplifts." —Publishers Weekly

Captivating and poignant

I could identify with the main character immediately. A truly successful must read book. Triu

A must read for girl's and women born to narcicistic Mothers

Save yourself the trouble of years of trying to figure out your relationship with your self absorbed Mother. All of the answers are here in this wonderful fiction novel. Excellent reader as well. Read this and be free! It was never you fault ❤️

Good Book not exciting

Good book, well written but not exciting or extremely interesting. It’s a simple story about a girl all of us have probably met or know. Not particularly deep or difficult to follow.

Depression Surfaces and Drowns At the Same Time

This is an odd book. It's extremely depressing. The narrator of the book is a female- and she goes back and forth from her childhood to her early years as an adult. Her mother was abused by her grandmother, and then in turn, she was extremely emotionally abused by her mother. She is placed in an 'insane asylum' for years, and when she gets out she has to learn to live among peers/friends and people in general again.

She also has to come to grips with the fact that the way she was treated wasn't her fault. Her mother was deeply mentally ill- but of course as a child you wouldn't know this.

The story is solid and the characters are fairly strong. The book is extremely depressing though- but it does stick to a very important theme in life- you should stick with people who make you feel good about yourself, not those who make you feel horribly.

I felt that there could have been so much more added to this novel to make it a bit more interesting. It's a very good attempt at a book about mental illness and it's affects, but something falls short of this being a 4 star book. I am glad I read it, and I would recommend this book to anyone who doesn't mind depressing stories.

-Wendi

Great story

I truly enjoyed this heartbreaking novel. The story was sad but also inspiring. I was rooting for Cass the whole time!

My only negative was that the narrator sounded like she had a really stuffy nose in some places. It was distracting.

Frustrating

It was frustrating to listen to almost an entire book with the knowledge of the main character's struggle while she is oblivious to it. While it may reflect what happens in real life, as a reader I eventually stopped caring if she ever figured it out, thus it took me months to finish listening to this as I routinely found something else to listen to. Sheer determination.
The reader did a great job although I sense she had a cold for the 2nd half.

Good story but pretty depressing

Would you say that listening to this book was time well-spent? Why or why not?

Yes, but it was frustrating how much of it was sad and kind of depressing. About 9 1/2 hours of the 10 were depressing with just a few positive things happening during that time. I think the it was well-written and a subject that needs to be talked and written about more, but it was pretty heavy at times.

What was your reaction to the ending? (No spoilers please!)

Not surprising but glad it ended the way it did.

Have you listened to any of Jorjeana Marie’s other performances before? How does this one compare?

No.

Do you think The First Time She Drowned needs a follow-up book? Why or why not?

It doesn't need it but I think it might be good because so may conflicts have been resolved, and others could be delved into.

Narcissistic Mothers... relatable right?

Great read for those who have struggled with relationships with their family. I found it very relatable. The main characters struggle with coming to the realization not everyone will treat her like her mother treated her or the mental institution hits hard.

What an amazing read!

I couldn't have asked for a better story. Listening to this young woman struggle through her past to find her truth, I felt like I was reading a version of my own life story. Deeply moving.

Deep and meaningful, a story of healing

What aspect of Jorjeana Marie’s performance would you have changed?

Sometimes her nose sounded blocked / stuffy and it was a little distracting. Her voice changed at weird moments and sounded totally different. But overall I felt like her voice was right for the character.

Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

I loved the interactions between Cassie and her therapist.

Any additional comments?

I think the author describes some complex experiences in a very compelling and real way. Kept me on my toes as I was trying to figure out what was reality and why Cassie would have been committed to an institution.