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What actually happens in the brain after emotional abuse—and why can healing feel so difficult even when you know the relationship was unhealthy?

In this episode, I’m sharing a conversation from my recent appearance on Chantal Contorines’ podcast, The Survivor’s Playbook. Chantal is a high-conflict divorce and recovery coach who supports people navigating the complicated reality of leaving toxic or emotionally abusive relationships.

Together, we dive into the science behind emotional abuse recovery, exploring why the brain often continues replaying painful relationships long after they’ve ended and what needs to happen for real healing to begin.

In this candid conversation, we discuss:

• What emotional abuse does to the brain and nervous system
• Why people often experience rumination, overthinking, and mental loops after a toxic relationship
• The subconscious patterns that can keep someone emotionally stuck
• Why leaving an unhealthy relationship is rarely as simple as people think
• What it actually takes to retrain the mind and begin healing

We also talk about ideas from my upcoming book Hack Your Mind, Heal Your Heart, which explores how subconscious programming shapes the way we think, react, and stay attached to painful relationship patterns—and how those patterns can be interrupted so real change can happen.

This episode is an honest, informative conversation between two women working in the world of emotional abuse recovery, trauma healing, and personal growth, sharing insights from the work we do with clients every day.

If you’re navigating the aftermath of a toxic relationship, struggling with rumination, or trying to understand why your mind keeps going back to the past, this conversation will help you see what’s really happening beneath the surface.

You can learn more about Chantal Contorines and her podcast The Survivor’s Playbook by searching for her online or on your favorite podcast platform. Her work focuses on supporting people through high-conflict relationships, co-parenting challenges, and rebuilding life after emotional abuse.

Keywords: emotional abuse recovery, healing after emotional abuse, toxic relationships, rumination after breakup, trauma bonding, brain science of trauma, narcissistic abuse recovery, high conflict relationships, relationship trauma healing, subconscious patterns, healing after toxic relationships.

Contact Chantal here: https://www.instagram.com/chantal.contorines.coaching/

Support the show

To learn more about my Programs visit the website
www.radiatenrise.com

Email: Allison@radiatenrise.com

Free 30 Min Root Cause Call

Join Radiate and Rise Together - Survivor Healing Community for Women

GET YOUR FREE AUDIO

To send a DM, visit Allison's profiles on
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https://www.instagram.com/allisonkdagney/
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*Formerly (The Emotional Abuse Recovery Podcast)

If you’ve ever felt like you’ve done the work to move on from a toxic or emotionally abusive relationship—but something still lingers—this episode is for you.

In this powerful conversation, we’re breaking down the “ick” that won’t go away… the emotional residue that stays in your thoughts, your body, and your sense of self long after the relationship has ended.

You’ll learn why healing from emotional abuse isn’t just about time or mindset, but about understanding how your brain and nervous system adapted to survive the relationship. We talk about why you still second-guess yourself, replay conversations, and feel disconnected from who you used to be—and why that doesn’t mean you’re stuck or broken.

This episode will help you understand the root cause of rumination, self-doubt, and emotional triggers, while giving you a new perspective on what it actually takes to heal at a deeper level. If you’re ready to stop trying to “move on” and start feeling like yourself again, this is the missing piece.

✨ My new book, Hack Your Mind, Heal Your Heart: A Trauma-Informed Path to Healing from Emotional Abuse, is available April 21st on Amazon and will guide you step-by-step through the process of rewiring the patterns that keep you stuck.

Support the show

To learn more about my Programs visit the website
www.radiatenrise.com

Email: Allison@radiatenrise.com

Free 30 Min Root Cause Call

Join Radiate and Rise Together - Survivor Healing Community for Women

GET YOUR FREE AUDIO

To send a DM, visit Allison's profiles on
Instagram and Facebook
https://www.instagram.com/allisonkdagney/
https://www.facebook.com/allisonkdagney/


*Formerly (The Emotional Abuse Recovery Podcast)

Have you ever looked back at a relationship and wondered, How did I stay so long when I knew something wasn’t right?

In this episode, we’re unpacking a powerful truth that many people struggle to admit: intelligence does not protect you from toxic relationships. In fact, the very qualities that make someone thoughtful, capable, and self-aware can sometimes keep them stuck longer.

We explore why smart, self-aware people often stay in unhealthy or emotionally abusive relationships, including how empathy, problem-solving, overanalysis, and a deep desire to understand others can unintentionally keep you trapped in difficult dynamics.

You’ll learn how the brain’s need for explanation, closure, and resolution can create powerful mental and emotional loops, and why understanding the relationship isn’t always enough to break free from it.

In this episode, we discuss:

• Why intelligent, capable people stay in toxic or emotionally abusive relationships
• The role of subconscious programming and attachment patterns
• How overthinking and analysis can keep you stuck in relationship loops
• Why intermittent reinforcement makes toxic dynamics so hard to leave
• The difference between understanding your patterns and actually changing them
• How to start identifying the deeper beliefs and emotional patterns that keep pulling you back

If you’ve ever struggled with rumination after a breakup, emotional abuse recovery, toxic relationship patterns, or trusting yourself again, this episode will help you understand what’s really happening beneath the surface.

We’ll also touch on ideas from my upcoming book, Hack Your Mind, Heal Your Heart, where I explain how subconscious patterns shape the way we think, react, and stay stuck in relationship cycles—and what it actually takes to interrupt those patterns so you can move forward with clarity and self-trust.

If you’re ready to stop overanalyzing the past and start changing the patterns that keep repeating it, this episode is for you.

Keywords: toxic relationships, emotional abuse recovery, why smart people stay in toxic relationships, trauma bonding, rumination after breakup, relationship psychology, subconscious patterns, narcissistic relationships, healing after emotional abuse, overthinking relationships, break toxic relationship patterns, trust yourself again, personal growth podcast.

Support the show

To learn more about my Programs visit the website
www.radiatenrise.com

Email: Allison@radiatenrise.com

Free 30 Min Root Cause Call

Join Radiate and Rise Together - Survivor Healing Community for Women

GET YOUR FREE AUDIO

To send a DM, visit Allison's profiles on
Instagram and Facebook
https://www.instagram.com/allisonkdagney/
https://www.facebook.com/allisonkdagney/


*Formerly (The Emotional Abuse Recovery Podcast)

If you’ve ever thought, “I could write a book about my life…” but don’t know where to start—this episode is for you.

In this powerful conversation, I sit down with author and storytelling coach Heather Hutzel, who has written over 20 books and spent the last two decades mastering the art of storytelling.

We dive into what actually makes a story compelling—not just something that happened, but something people feel and can’t put down. Heather breaks down the hero’s journey, the biggest mistakes new writers make, and why most people stay stuck before they ever begin.

We also talk about how to turn personal pain into something meaningful—without getting lost in it.

At the beginning of the episode, Heather shares a deeply vulnerable story of loss that shaped her path as a writer. And by the end, she reveals the most important thing you need to focus on if you truly want to bring your story into the world.

If you’re a survivor, a healer, or someone who knows there’s a story inside of you waiting to be told—this episode will show you how to start.

🎧 In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Why most people never finish writing their story
• The biggest mistakes new authors make (and how to avoid them)
• What actually makes a story engaging and unforgettable
• How the hero’s journey applies to your real life
• Where to start when you feel overwhelmed or unsure
• The one thing that matters most when telling your story

This isn’t about writing a perfect book.
It’s about finally telling the truth of your life in a way that lands.

JOIN HEATHER'S WORKSHOP: https://hrhutzel.store/products/threshold-workshop

Contact Heather: https://www.hrhutzel.com/

Support the show

To learn more about my Programs visit the website
www.radiatenrise.com

Email: Allison@radiatenrise.com

Free 30 Min Root Cause Call

Join Radiate and Rise Together - Survivor Healing Community for Women

GET YOUR FREE AUDIO

To send a DM, visit Allison's profiles on
Instagram and Facebook
https://www.instagram.com/allisonkdagney/
https://www.facebook.com/allisonkdagney/


*Formerly (The Emotional Abuse Recovery Podcast)

Venting can feel good in the moment—but what if constantly talking about your pain is actually keeping you stuck?

In this episode, we’re diving into the hidden dangers of co-rumination—the cycle of repeatedly discussing problems, betrayal, stress, or emotional wounds with others in a way that reinforces pain instead of helping you heal. While validation and support are important, constantly rehashing the same experiences can strengthen rumination loops, increase anxiety, and train your brain to keep searching for more evidence of the hurt.

You’ll learn how co-rumination affects your mental health, nervous system, and even physical well-being, why it can create an addictive cycle of temporary relief, and how it can quietly halt your healing after emotional abuse or difficult relationships.

We’ll also talk about something most people never consider: how therapy sessions, coaching, or conversations with friends can unintentionally become co-rumination if the focus stays on repeating the story rather than creating real movement and change.

Inside this episode, you’ll discover:

• What co-rumination is and why it feels so validating
• How repeated venting can strengthen rumination and emotional loops
• The role of the brain’s Reticular Activating System (RAS) in keeping you focused on pain
• The mental and physical health impacts of constantly reliving stressful experiences
• Signs your therapist, coach, or support system may be reinforcing the loop
• Practical ways to set boundaries, shift beliefs, and interrupt the cycle

If you’ve ever felt stuck replaying conversations, overanalyzing the past, or needing to vent about the same issue over and over just to get relief, this episode will help you understand why—and what to do instead.

We’ll also touch on ideas from my upcoming book, Hack Your Mind, Heal Your Heart, where I break down how subconscious patterns, rumination, and repetition shape the way we think, feel, and react—and how to interrupt those loops so real healing can begin.

If you’re ready to stop rehearsing pain and start creating real change, this episode is for you.

Keywords: co-rumination, rumination, emotional abuse recovery, trauma healing, toxic relationships, nervous system healing, overthinking, venting addiction, mental health, subconscious patterns, stop rumination, relationship trauma, healing after abuse, personal growth podcast.

BOOK LIST: www.allisonkdagney.com

Support the show

To learn more about my Programs visit the website
www.radiatenrise.com

Email: Allison@radiatenrise.com

Free 30 Min Root Cause Call

Join Radiate and Rise Together - Survivor Healing Community for Women

GET YOUR FREE AUDIO

To send a DM, visit Allison's profiles on
Instagram and Facebook
https://www.instagram.com/allisonkdagney/
https://www.facebook.com/allisonkdagney/


*Formerly (The Emotional Abuse Recovery Podcast)

In this powerful episode of The Be a Better You Podcast, we dive deep into neurodivergence, neuroplasticity, and what it truly means to work with your brain instead of against it — especially when you're recovering from emotional abuse, narcissistic abuse, or toxic relationships that made you believe something was fundamentally wrong with you.

What we cover:

• What neurodivergence really means — and why it may describe far more of us than traditional diagnoses suggest
• The little-known facts about ADHD, executive dysfunction, and emotional dysregulation that nobody talks about
• Why survivors of narcissistic abuse and emotional abuse often experience patterns that look and feel neurodivergent — and what that means for your healing
• The neuroscience of neural plasticity: how your brain can literally rewire itself at any age, and why recovery is not just possible — it's biological
• A real listener story (T's story) about freezing, overwhelm, and the panic of trying to build new habits after years of surviving
• The one question that can unlock your ability to take action and finally follow through
• A practical, evidence-based method for shifting the limiting beliefs installed by narcissistic abuse, gaslighting, and chronic self-doubt
• Tools for ADHD brains, anxious brains, and trauma-conditioned brains to regulate, start, and complete

Whether you have a formal diagnosis of ADHD, autism, or another neurodivergent condition — or you simply feel like your brain works differently and nobody has ever explained why — this episode will normalize your experience, validate your struggle, and give you a real, science-backed path forward.
If you've been told you're "too much," "too scattered," "too sensitive," or "not capable of following through," this episode is your answer. Narcissistic abusers and emotional abusers often weaponize the way our minds work. Today, we take that back.

Topics: emotional abuse recovery, narcissistic abuse recovery, neurodivergence, ADHD and emotional abuse, neural plasticity, brain rewiring, limiting beliefs, habit building with ADHD, executive dysfunction, trauma and the brain, healing from toxic relationships, self-worth after narcissistic abuse, nervous system regulation, belief reprogramming, be a better you

emotional abuse recovery, narcissistic abuse, neurodivergence, ADHD, neural plasticity, brain rewiring, limiting beliefs, trauma recovery, executive dysfunction, habit building, nervous system regulation, toxic relationships, healing, self-worth, belief reprogramming

Support the show

To learn more about my Programs visit the website
www.radiatenrise.com

Email: Allison@radiatenrise.com

Free 30 Min Root Cause Call

Join Radiate and Rise Together - Survivor Healing Community for Women

GET YOUR FREE AUDIO

To send a DM, visit Allison's profiles on
Instagram and Facebook
https://www.instagram.com/allisonkdagney/
https://www.facebook.com/allisonkdagney/


*Formerly (The Emotional Abuse Recovery Podcast)

Imposter syndrome after emotional abuse looks like doubting your memory.
Minimizing what happened. Feeling dramatic for having boundaries.
Questioning whether it was “really that bad.”

In this episode, we unpack how emotional abuse and trauma conditioning create deep self-doubt — and why you feel like an imposter in your own story.

You’ll learn:

• How other people's voices rewire your perception
• Why people-pleasing fuels imposter syndrome
• Hidden beliefs keeping you stuck in self-doubt
• Practical steps to interrupt the Imposter Voice (aka ego)

This episode will help you understand what’s actually happening inside your nervous system — and how to stop allowing the imposter to keep you from being your best self.

Healing from emotional abuse requires more than mindset shifts. It requires breaking the self-doubt loop at the root and taking aligned action to reinforce the beliefs that serve you well.

Support the show

To learn more about my Programs visit the website
www.radiatenrise.com

Email: Allison@radiatenrise.com

Free 30 Min Root Cause Call

Join Radiate and Rise Together - Survivor Healing Community for Women

GET YOUR FREE AUDIO

To send a DM, visit Allison's profiles on
Instagram and Facebook
https://www.instagram.com/allisonkdagney/
https://www.facebook.com/allisonkdagney/


*Formerly (The Emotional Abuse Recovery Podcast)

Have you ever walked away from a relationship wondering how you became so confused, reactive, or unsure of yourself? In this episode, we unpack why so many emotionally intelligent, self-aware people end up questioning their own reality in unhealthy relationships—and why that doesn’t mean anything was wrong with you.

You’ll learn how emotional inconsistency, mixed signals, and subtle invalidation can slowly erode self-trust, leading you to internalize beliefs like “I’m too sensitive” or “I can’t trust my perception.” We’ll explore gentle belief shifts—asking what else might be possible—and how confusion is often a nervous-system response, not a personal failure.

If you’ve ever replayed conversations, doubted your memory, or felt like you lost yourself trying to make sense of someone else’s behavior, this episode will help you reconnect with clarity and self-trust.

You’ll also hear how identifying the beliefs formed in these dynamics can be a powerful first step toward healing, and where to go if you’re ready to interrupt the loop at the root.

Support the show

To learn more about my Programs visit the website
www.radiatenrise.com

Email: Allison@radiatenrise.com

Free 30 Min Root Cause Call

Join Radiate and Rise Together - Survivor Healing Community for Women

GET YOUR FREE AUDIO

To send a DM, visit Allison's profiles on
Instagram and Facebook
https://www.instagram.com/allisonkdagney/
https://www.facebook.com/allisonkdagney/


*Formerly (The Emotional Abuse Recovery Podcast)