-
The Driver's Guide to Hitting Pedestrians
- Narrated by: Andersen Prunty
- Length: 2 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged Audiobook
- Categories: Literature & Fiction, Anthologies & Short Stories
Add to Cart failed.
Add to Wish List failed.
Remove from wishlist failed.
Adding to library failed
Follow podcast failed
Unfollow podcast failed
Buy for $6.95
No default payment method selected.
We are sorry. We are not allowed to sell this product with the selected payment method
Listeners also enjoyed...
-
Zerostrata
- By: Andersen Prunty
- Narrated by: Andersen Prunty
- Length: 2 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
After 10 years, Hansel Nothing returns to his boyhood home, unable to remember anything that has happened to him since he left. Back home, he stays in Zerostrata, a treehouse in the backyard. The Nothing family is as dysfunctional and depressed as ever. His mother keeps a cat on her head and incessantly munches prescription medication. His father has left the house to pursue a career as a superhero. His brother wants to be the dad's superhero sidekick and thinks he can fly. Hansel's life is changed forever when he meets Gretel, a free-spirited woman who runs naked through the woods every night....
-
-
absolutely loved it!
- By Juan Rios on 03-21-21
By: Andersen Prunty
-
Failure as a Way of Life
- By: Andersen Prunty
- Narrated by: Pete Ferrand
- Length: 3 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Ryan Noman is stuck in a house on a dead end street in a dying city, a loveless relationship, and a job where the owner challenges his employees to fights in the parking lot. He also has a mystery rash. When Ryan's best friend, Gus, convinces him they need to contaminate the source of the artisanal bottled water facility where they work, Ryan goes along with it because, hey, what else is he going to do? This proves to be another bad choice in an increasingly lengthening list of bad choices in Ryan's life. It changes everything, leaving both Ryan and Gus transformed.
-
-
A wonderful book
- By Geoff on 03-17-20
By: Andersen Prunty
-
The Beard
- By: Andersen Prunty
- Narrated by: Andersen Prunty
- Length: 5 hrs
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Seven-year-old David Glum watches as his grandfather is abducted by a legendary herd of elephants. Twenty years later, David returns to his parents' home to focus on growing a beard, a goal he feels sure he can accomplish. Once the beard reaches a respectable girth, uncontrollable things begin happening around him. His mother dies. Maybe. His father might really be a man named Gary Wrench. David is sure of one thing: His family is cursed.
-
-
Pass the beard oil
- By timj26 on 10-30-19
By: Andersen Prunty
-
Fill the Grand Canyon and Live Forever
- By: Andersen Prunty
- Narrated by: Andersen Prunty
- Length: 2 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Social networks can be used for a number of things such as finding out what friends and family members are up to, trying to get girls to take their clothes off on camera, raising awareness, and organizing protests, revolutions, and relief efforts. But what if one man decided to use a social network for one of the most idiotic causes in human history? Join the hopeless and brain damaged Andy Boring in his quest to Fill the Grand Canyon and Live Forever!!!
-
-
Excellent
- By timj26 on 10-22-19
By: Andersen Prunty
-
My Fake War
- By: Andersen Prunty
- Narrated by: Andersen Prunty
- Length: 2 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Saul Dressing is a flabby middle-aged librarian who just wants to be left alone to listen to jazz, watch porn, and cultivate his toenails. All of this changes when a soldier in a camouflage sweat suit shows up to draft him into the army of the United States of Everything. His mission is simple: Go to a foreign country no one has ever heard of and incite the opposition to strike first. All alone in the middle of a desert with no enemy in sight, Saul must come to terms with the absurdity of his situation. Thus begins a surreal journey into the politics of war, consumerism, and giant robots.
-
-
Excellent
- By timj26 on 10-22-19
By: Andersen Prunty
-
Kill Your Neighbor
- By: Andersen Prunty
- Narrated by: Andersen Prunty
- Length: 1 hr and 10 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
When Emma and Kip Dupree bought their first home together, they got a lot more than they bargained for. They wanted to get out of the city and get on with their lives on the quiet cul-de-sac. Instead, an object of obsession brings their lives to a screeching halt. Who is the woman living next door? Why does she do the curious things she does? Why do Emma and Kip feel like their lives have been so disrupted? How do they get her to stop? The Duprees are only sure about one thing: the social contract must be upheld at all costs.
-
-
Excellent
- By timj26 on 10-11-19
By: Andersen Prunty
-
Zerostrata
- By: Andersen Prunty
- Narrated by: Andersen Prunty
- Length: 2 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
After 10 years, Hansel Nothing returns to his boyhood home, unable to remember anything that has happened to him since he left. Back home, he stays in Zerostrata, a treehouse in the backyard. The Nothing family is as dysfunctional and depressed as ever. His mother keeps a cat on her head and incessantly munches prescription medication. His father has left the house to pursue a career as a superhero. His brother wants to be the dad's superhero sidekick and thinks he can fly. Hansel's life is changed forever when he meets Gretel, a free-spirited woman who runs naked through the woods every night....
-
-
absolutely loved it!
- By Juan Rios on 03-21-21
By: Andersen Prunty
-
Failure as a Way of Life
- By: Andersen Prunty
- Narrated by: Pete Ferrand
- Length: 3 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Ryan Noman is stuck in a house on a dead end street in a dying city, a loveless relationship, and a job where the owner challenges his employees to fights in the parking lot. He also has a mystery rash. When Ryan's best friend, Gus, convinces him they need to contaminate the source of the artisanal bottled water facility where they work, Ryan goes along with it because, hey, what else is he going to do? This proves to be another bad choice in an increasingly lengthening list of bad choices in Ryan's life. It changes everything, leaving both Ryan and Gus transformed.
-
-
A wonderful book
- By Geoff on 03-17-20
By: Andersen Prunty
-
The Beard
- By: Andersen Prunty
- Narrated by: Andersen Prunty
- Length: 5 hrs
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Seven-year-old David Glum watches as his grandfather is abducted by a legendary herd of elephants. Twenty years later, David returns to his parents' home to focus on growing a beard, a goal he feels sure he can accomplish. Once the beard reaches a respectable girth, uncontrollable things begin happening around him. His mother dies. Maybe. His father might really be a man named Gary Wrench. David is sure of one thing: His family is cursed.
-
-
Pass the beard oil
- By timj26 on 10-30-19
By: Andersen Prunty
-
Fill the Grand Canyon and Live Forever
- By: Andersen Prunty
- Narrated by: Andersen Prunty
- Length: 2 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Social networks can be used for a number of things such as finding out what friends and family members are up to, trying to get girls to take their clothes off on camera, raising awareness, and organizing protests, revolutions, and relief efforts. But what if one man decided to use a social network for one of the most idiotic causes in human history? Join the hopeless and brain damaged Andy Boring in his quest to Fill the Grand Canyon and Live Forever!!!
-
-
Excellent
- By timj26 on 10-22-19
By: Andersen Prunty
-
My Fake War
- By: Andersen Prunty
- Narrated by: Andersen Prunty
- Length: 2 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Saul Dressing is a flabby middle-aged librarian who just wants to be left alone to listen to jazz, watch porn, and cultivate his toenails. All of this changes when a soldier in a camouflage sweat suit shows up to draft him into the army of the United States of Everything. His mission is simple: Go to a foreign country no one has ever heard of and incite the opposition to strike first. All alone in the middle of a desert with no enemy in sight, Saul must come to terms with the absurdity of his situation. Thus begins a surreal journey into the politics of war, consumerism, and giant robots.
-
-
Excellent
- By timj26 on 10-22-19
By: Andersen Prunty
-
Kill Your Neighbor
- By: Andersen Prunty
- Narrated by: Andersen Prunty
- Length: 1 hr and 10 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
When Emma and Kip Dupree bought their first home together, they got a lot more than they bargained for. They wanted to get out of the city and get on with their lives on the quiet cul-de-sac. Instead, an object of obsession brings their lives to a screeching halt. Who is the woman living next door? Why does she do the curious things she does? Why do Emma and Kip feel like their lives have been so disrupted? How do they get her to stop? The Duprees are only sure about one thing: the social contract must be upheld at all costs.
-
-
Excellent
- By timj26 on 10-11-19
By: Andersen Prunty
-
The Overwhelming Urge
- By: Andersen Prunty
- Narrated by: Andersen Prunty
- Length: 2 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
It is a world where men wake up with laser beams for eyes and wives play sadistic practical jokes. It is a world where body parts randomly fall off and fathers turn into antelopes. In this world, vampires and spontaneous combustions are a constant threat. The Overwhelming Urge is a collection of bizarro flash fiction, containing ridiculous characters and absurd stories reminiscent of David Lynch and Franz Kafka.
-
-
This is what living in Ohio does to people
- By Saya on 12-10-13
By: Andersen Prunty
-
The Warm Glow of Happy Homes
- By: Andersen Prunty
- Narrated by: Andersen Prunty
- Length: 1 hr and 42 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Barton King is young, rich, out of control, and planning the most awesome party he’s ever thrown. The theme: Mexico Frat Funland. There are going to be khaki cargo shorts, red cups, even a piñata. Maybe sombreros. Team Klaus will be there to DJ the event. But it won’t be without its challenges. People are canceling left and right. No one seems to be acting the way they should and space birds are ripping the sky apart. What is intended to be the social event of the summer totters on the brink of becoming a violent nightmare.
-
-
Party time
- By timj26 on 10-22-19
By: Andersen Prunty
-
Other People's Shit
- By: C.V. Hunt
- Narrated by: Jeff Bower
- Length: 2 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
There's a pandemic. People are turning into clowns. Society isn't interested in finding a cure or treating the infected as humans. But when unconventional couriers begin to harass the contaminated, and clowns start disappearing, a band of transformed coworkers set out to find answers.
-
-
FINALLY a fun narrator!
- By Jason S. on 12-23-18
By: C.V. Hunt
-
Hold for Release Until the End of the World
- By: C. V. Hunt
- Narrated by: Louise Cooksey
- Length: 1 hr and 53 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
This is the last thing you'll ever see. Welcome to Daxton. The neighbor is crazy. The roommate is running a perpetual scam. Being degraded by the boss on a daily basis is part of the job. The children are willingly abducted. The probability of getting shot while purchasing groceries is high. And don't forget to fill your quota of junk strategically placed in your yard to be viewed from the street. Why would you want to live anywhere else?
-
-
Excellent
- By timj26 on 07-05-20
By: C. V. Hunt
-
It
- By: Stephen King
- Narrated by: Steven Weber
- Length: 44 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Welcome to Derry, Maine. It’s a small city, a place as hauntingly familiar as your own hometown. Only in Derry the haunting is real. They were seven teenagers when they first stumbled upon the horror. Now they are grown-up men and women who have gone out into the big world to gain success and happiness. But the promise they made 28 years ago calls them reunite in the same place where, as teenagers, they battled an evil creature that preyed on the city’s children.
-
-
You’ll go deaf
- By Laurie on 07-25-20
By: Stephen King
-
NOS4A2
- A Novel
- By: Joe Hill
- Narrated by: Kate Mulgrew
- Length: 19 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Victoria McQueen has an uncanny knack for finding things: a misplaced bracelet, a missing photograph, answers to unanswerable questions. When she rides her bicycle over the rickety old covered bridge in the woods near her house, she always emerges in the places she needs to be. Vic doesn't tell anyone about her unusual ability, because she knows no one will believe her. She has trouble understanding it herself.
-
-
Narrator was OUTSTANDING!
- By B on 08-28-18
By: Joe Hill
-
11-22-63
- A Novel
- By: Stephen King
- Narrated by: Craig Wasson
- Length: 30 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
On November 22, 1963, three shots rang out in Dallas, President Kennedy died, and the world changed. What if you could change it back? In this brilliantly conceived tour de force, Stephen King - who has absorbed the social, political, and popular culture of his generation more imaginatively and thoroughly than any other writer - takes listeners on an incredible journey into the past and the possibility of altering it.
-
-
Great! Boring. Good again... Boring. Too long.
- By Taxvictim on 06-04-12
By: Stephen King
-
The Talisman
- By: Stephen King, Peter Straub
- Narrated by: Frank Muller
- Length: 28 hrs
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
On a brisk autumn day, a 13-year-old boy stands on the shores of the gray Atlantic, near a silent amusement park and a fading ocean resort called the Alhambra. The past has driven Jack Sawyer here: His father is gone, his mother is dying, and the world no longer makes sense. But for Jack everything is about to change. For he has been chosen to make a journey back across America - and into another realm. One of the most influential and heralded works of fantasy ever written, The Talisman is an extraordinary novel of loyalty, awakening, terror, and mystery.
-
-
Had no idea.....
- By Nate_D on 03-26-14
By: Stephen King, and others
-
Heart-Shaped Box
- By: Joe Hill
- Narrated by: Stephen Lang
- Length: 11 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Judas Coyne is a collector of the macabre. But nothing he possesses is as unlikely or as dreadful as his latest discovery, a thing so terrible-strange, Jude can't help but reach for his wallet. For a thousand dollars, Jude will become the proud owner of a dead man's suit, said to be haunted by a restless spirit. But what UPS delivers to his door in a black heart-shaped box is no imaginary or metaphorical ghost. It's the real thing.
-
-
Wonderful!
- By Laura on 05-10-12
By: Joe Hill
-
Needful Things
- By: Stephen King
- Narrated by: Stephen King
- Length: 25 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Leland Gaunt opens a new shop in Castle Rock called Needful Things. Anyone who enters his store finds the object of his or her lifelong dreams and desires: a prized baseball card, a healing amulet. In addition to a token payment, Gaunt requests that each person perform a little "deed", usually a seemingly innocent prank played on someone else from town. These practical jokes cascade out of control, and soon the entire town is doing battle with itself. Only Sheriff Alan Pangborn suspects that Gaunt is behind the population's increasingly violent behavior.
-
-
TERRIBLE NARRATION
- By J D on 07-27-19
By: Stephen King
-
Sleeping Beauties
- A Novel
- By: Stephen King, Owen King
- Narrated by: Marin Ireland
- Length: 25 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In a future so real and near it might be now, something happens when women go to sleep: They become shrouded in a cocoon-like gauze. If they are awakened, if the gauze wrapping their bodies is disturbed or violated, the women become feral and spectacularly violent; and while they sleep they go to another place.... The men of our world are abandoned, left to their increasingly primal devices. One woman, however, the mysterious Evie, is immune to the blessing or curse of the sleeping disease.
-
-
one of my bottom 5 King novels
- By Amazon Customer on 06-26-19
By: Stephen King, and others
-
Cell
- A Novel
- By: Stephen King
- Narrated by: Campbell Scott
- Length: 12 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The cause of the devastation is a phenomenon that will come to be known as The Pulse, and the delivery method is a cell phone. Everyone's cell phone. Clay and the few desperate survivors who join him suddenly find themselves in the pitch-black night of civilization's darkest age, surrounded by chaos, carnage, and a human horde that has been reduced to its basest nature...and then begins to evolve.
-
-
Very, very compelling
- By Vicki on 01-27-06
By: Stephen King
Publisher's Summary
A pocket guide to the 23 most painful things in life, written by the most well-adjusted man in the universe.
Does it make you sad to be alive?
Boo-hoo. You're living all wrong.
My name is Andersen Prunty. I'm happiest while napping. I am a man with tennis shoes. They get older every time I put them on. This is how I deal with the pain of being alive. Now is our chance to deal with our pain together. You'll thank me later.
More from the same
What listeners say about The Driver's Guide to Hitting Pedestrians
Average Customer RatingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Saya
- 12-10-13
How did I live without this vital information?
What did you love best about The Driver's Guide to Hitting Pedestrians?
The idea behind the entire thing. At first I thought it was so stupid but when it was over I was begging it wouldn't end.
Which character – as performed by Andersen Prunty – was your favorite?
I just can't choose.
Any additional comments?
Mr. Prunty's books are completely unique in every way. I enjoy how this is so digestible and challenges my every conviction. Just think of the most insane things you can come up with then multiply them by 100 and put it into a book. I love it.
2 people found this helpful
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- JM
- 10-30-20
Hire a Good Narrator
I really like Andersen Prunty, I own several of his books, the printed ones are great, but I have a problem with his narrating, I know some people like his narrating, but for me he almost puts me to sleep, and some of his narrating, on some books are annoying. When he does hire a narrator it is mostly enjoyable. But like I have said in the past, I think Andersen is a talented writer, I just wish he would consider using a narrator on more of his books...Okay enough of my ranting on the narrating. For you folks who do not know Anderen Prunty yet, check him out, either in printed form or audible, and I think you might be pleasantly surprised, he has a lot of books to choose from. I received this audiobook for free in a promotion, and I am voluntarily giving my honest and unbiased review.
1 person found this helpful
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Janalyn
- 11-13-19
I cannot think of a title…
Since when did being confused and appalled, disbelieving equal entertainment. Not to mention having the book read to you from someone who sounds like he is on the verge up killing himself. I guess the day this book came out. The narrator who on a personal note I just want to say smile, baby it’s going to be all right! Back to the review sounds likeHe is just trying to decide whether to hang himself or slit his wrist. Anyway, this book is like a book of train wrecks and call racks and plane wrecks all the things people find it hard to look away from. They even have a man who has a litter box just like your cat is the kitty litter box he is a box of litter in the back of this van so when he’s riding around running over pedestrians he doesn’t have to stop and use the bathroom. So if you like watching cops, because it reminds you of home or it’s the only family home movies do you have this is the book for you. I’ll joking aside it was confusing I was dismayed at times but I listen to the whole thing in one setting. Either this guy is a genius or him and I are both idiots. I’d like to think it’s the former. They are original short stories and when I say original I mean very original from a group of laughing people who take you out of your house and if you cannot join the laughter they beat you to death. Yes that is the whole story. You just have to read it I cannot do it justice. Clearly I loved it! Get it!
1 person found this helpful
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Mary Karowski
- 10-05-20
A collection of short stories read by the author
Short story collections are always a tough one. A reader/listener can connect with all of them, some of them or none of them. When they are read by the author, as in this case, the tones of the story are set well as the narrator being the author knows exactly how they wanted the stories portrayed. That being said, I add this to the review: We thrive on negative criticism, which is fun to write and to read. But the bitter truth we critics must face, is that in the grand scheme of things, the average piece of junk is probably more meaningful than our criticism designating it so. This particular set of shorts was tough for me to get into. It had a few I enjoyed such as the one about purchasing an author (great metaphor for buying a book). This series may resonate better for you than for me. Give it a go. P.s. not recommended for young listeners. I was voluntarily provided this free review copy audiobook by the author, narrator or publisher
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Laura
- 10-27-19
Odd
I received this book for free. I am voluntarily posting this review and all opinions expressed herein are my own.
I thought after reading the title and the blurb - I would really love this collection of stories. I didn't enjoy this at all - in fact, I could not even finish it. After listening to a few of these stories, I was just left wondering - What was the point of that? Why were these stories written? This book has good reviews so there is an audience for this, but clearly I'm am not one of them.
The narrator of this book is the author himself. His delivery is very mundane and droning. Unfortunately, this narration style added to my dislike of these stories.
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- timj26
- 10-22-19
Fun
A mix of bizarro flash fiction
From the rules of a pedestrian hitting game to a man with a chainsaw mouth this is a great peek into the world of the weird
Well narrated by the man himself check it out
I received a free review audiobook and voluntarily left this review
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story

- col2910
- 07-22-20
Kept me entertained, even while puzzled
A new-to-me author and a bit of a departure from my usual reading with Andersen Prunty's short story collection comprised of mainly short flash fiction pieces. The common theme judging by the contents page is pain.
Contents
The Driver’s Guide to Hitting Pedestrians Pain: Pedestrians
The Laughing Crusade Pain: Laughter
Architecture Pain: Work
Chainsaw Mouth Pain: Teeth Napper
Pain: Consciousness
Princess Electricity Pain: Light
The Balloonman’s Secret Pain: Longing
Reading Manko Pain: Authors
Alone in a Room Thinking About All the People Who Have Died Pain: Death
The Tailors Pain: Pants
The Champion of Needham Avenue Pain: Winning
Teething Pain: Rebellion
Toss Pain: School
Where I Go to Die Pain: Fate
The Ohio Grass Monster Pain: Friends
The Cover-up Pain: Fathers
Lost Pain: Mustaches
Dog in Orbit Pain: Relationships
Two Children Who Want to Drive Off a Cliff Pain: Childhood
Rivalry Pain: Neighbors
A 3-Legged Dog Dying of Cancer Pain: Pets
Divorce Pain: Separation
The Melancholy Room Pain: God
Best story for me was the title piece, The Driver's Guide to Hitting Pedestrians where a competition exists for drivers to do win points for doing exactly that. Kill them and you lose points, oh and every time you score you have to take the victim to the hospital. A big money prize awaits the winner. Simultaneously there is a pedestrian competition with a prize for obviously not getting hit.
I quite liked some of the others, insofar as they display a great imagination and fascinating ideas, obviously the product of a creative and possibly diseased mind....... a moustache that disappears during oral sex and is next spotted in a porno when his ex-partner appears on screen copulating; a man who's teeth up sticks and depart his mouth, returning later, each with a partner; a girl who stands on a rooftop generating electricity for a town. I can't say I understood the point of them all or that they made any great sense but. I can't say I was bored by the collection either.
The best bizarro/speculative fiction I've ever read. Actually the only bizarro/speculative fiction collection I've ever read. Passed the time, kept me entertained and brought a smile to my face occasionally.
3 from 5
Read - (listened to) July, 2020
Published - 2011
Page count - 108 (2 hrs 23 mins)
Source - Audible purchase
Format - Audible
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story

- Katherine Grant
- 01-07-20
Hit and dump.
I found the stoties concept strange, and ridiculous.
The narration by the author, was a huge No No... He sounds like a depressed stoner, tired of... Well everything.
I gave the book 15 minutes, and l just couldn't give it any more... High adrenaline movements and action, read in this way is, depressing... Punctuation is also ingnored.
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story

- Tartarus Kelvin
- 12-13-19
A Poorly Handled but Intersting Idea
The Drivers Guide to Hitting Pedestrians has potential. Unfortunately very little of that potential was unrealized. Somehow I found this audio-book boring even though the concept definitely wasn't.