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Surviving the White Gaze
- A Memoir
- Narrated by: Rebecca Carroll
- Length: 7 hrs and 28 mins
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Publisher's summary
An Esquire Best Book of 2021
A “gorgeous and powerful” (The New York Times Book Review) memoir from cultural critic Rebecca Carroll recounting her painful struggle to overcome a completely White childhood to forge her identity as a Black woman in America.
Rebecca Carroll grew up the only Black person in her rural New Hampshire town. Adopted at birth by artistic parents who believed in peace, love, and zero population growth, her early childhood was loving and idyllic - and yet she couldn’t articulate the deep sense of isolation she increasingly felt as she grew older.
Everything changed when she met her birth mother, a young White woman, who consistently undermined Carroll’s sense of her blackness and self-esteem. Carroll’s childhood became harrowing, and her memoir explores the tension between the aching desire for her birth mother’s acceptance, the loyalty she feels toward her adoptive parents, and the search for her racial identity. As an adult, Carroll forged a path from city to city, struggling along the way with difficult boyfriends, depression, eating disorders, and excessive drinking. Ultimately, through the support of her chosen Black family, she was able to heal.
“Generous, intimate, searching, and formidable” (The Boston Globe), Surviving the White Gaze is a timely examination of racism and racial identity in America today.
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- Steve Shirley
- 02-08-21
Outstanding
Maybe not everyone is ready for this book. It is so honest about race, gender, and coming of age in America. Rebecca Carroll put in the work to write this clearly. For those readers who do not “get it,” perhaps you have your own work to do.
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7 people found this helpful
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- Gayle Parrott
- 03-13-21
Wow!
Even if black/white racial tensions weren't running high in the USA right now, I would still recommend this book. This bi-racial author has lead an utterly riveting life. She narrates her own life story and I couldn't wait to resume listening after every necessary break.
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6 people found this helpful
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- Beca B.
- 04-10-21
Raw. Honest. Enlightening.
Beautifully worded, but with the undeniable harsh truths of racism, the book was a powerful listen.
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4 people found this helpful
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- Lauren E Williams
- 04-06-21
This is a must read!
I really enjoyed this book, I’ve had a similar upbringing with being mixed and raised only by my white side. I so appreciate her story and struggles with her mom and adoptive family. I hope more stories of people of color growing up in a white family, come out that are this honest and open.
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4 people found this helpful
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- misbri0509
- 03-27-21
Healing
A very intimate and beautiful, and thoughtful. Careful and very brave. I loved it and I think it speaks very well to why color blindness doesn’t work. And the abuse of overt racism as well as the many micro aggressions that occur.
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3 people found this helpful
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- Jill Frye
- 03-22-21
just what I needed
I have longed for such a book. As a white woman who was raised in rural America with no exposure to other races or culture, I always thought we would all mix and merge into one beautiful blend at some point in the future. I was so naïve to not realize that more people were fighting such a scenario than wanting it. I didn't know that it wasn't just the racist white men and women with small closed minds that were opposed but the proud blacks who prefer their culture to a merged one. And I see why. What an amazing author. I am eager to read more of her honest appraisal of life in these United States.
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3 people found this helpful
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- Nadinola
- 08-13-21
Moving Tale of Courage and Strength
This was such a jaw dropping, moving and inspirational read. Your courage and strength moved me to tears.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Tanner Robison
- 06-10-21
Compelling, Real, Poignant.
Rebecca Carroll’s reading of her own memoir makes it that much more impactful. All I can say is Thank You to Rebecca Carroll for sharing her life, her struggles, and her joy with the world. I learned a great deal about myself in these pages.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Gayle C. Butterfield
- 02-18-23
Excellent Story
I was riveted by her story and how she was able to see the importance of her blackness in spite of her upbringing and her bio mother’s toxicity! I relate so much to her.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Amazon Customer
- 11-27-22
Great story
This book is not for the impatient. The author takes her time and skillfully situates the reader into her story. She challenges our perceptions of what being a black child raised by white people in a white world can feel like.
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By: Bakari Sellers
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No Ashes in the Fire
- By: Darnell L Moore
- Narrated by: Darnell L Moore
- Length: 6 hrs
- Unabridged
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From a leading journalist and activist comes a brave, beautifully wrought memoir. When Darnell Moore was 14, three boys from his neighborhood tried to set him on fire. He escaped, but just barely. It wasn't the last time he would face death. Three decades later, Moore is an award-winning writer, a leading Black Lives Matter activist, and an advocate for justice and liberation. In No Ashes in the Fire, he shares the journey taken by that scared, bullied teenager who not only survived, but found his calling.
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Powerful & Brilliant
- By Stephanie J on 06-23-18
By: Darnell L Moore
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A Rage in Harlem
- A Grave Digger & Coffin Ed Novel
- By: Chester Himes
- Narrated by: Samuel L. Jackson
- Length: 5 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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Academy Award nominee Samuel L. Jackson ( Pulp Fiction, Star Wars films), fresh off the success of his uproarious, Audie-nominated performance of the mock children’s book Go the F**k to Sleep, delivers a swaggering, darkly-humored rendering of Chester Himes’ classic first novel.
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Go the f--k to Audible and get this now!
- By Julie W. Capell on 03-22-12
By: Chester Himes
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"You Should Be Grateful"
- Stories of Race, Identity, and Transracial Adoption
- By: Angela Tucker
- Narrated by: Angela Tucker
- Length: 7 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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“Your parents are so amazing for adopting you! You should be grateful that you were adopted.” Angela Tucker is a Black woman, adopted from foster care by white parents. She has heard this microaggression her entire life, usually from well-intentioned strangers who view her adoptive parents as noble saviors. She is grateful for many aspects of her life, but being transracially adopted involves layers of rejection, loss, and complexity that cannot be summed up so easily.
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Perspective
- By Emma Stevens/Linda Campbell Pevac on 11-15-23
By: Angela Tucker
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Under My Control
- Words + Music | Vol. 38
- By: Tegan Quin, Sara Quin
- Narrated by: Tegan Quin, Sara Quin
- Length: 1 hr and 35 mins
- Original Recording
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Tegan and Sara recount their unique navigation through sisterhood and the music industry. Once twin sisters fighting over their shared guitar in rural Canada, now chart-topping, award-winning indie rock icons, they reflect on the highs and lows of their relationship and their career.
By: Tegan Quin, and others
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Force of Beauty
- A Newark Family Memoir
- By: Mikki Taylor, Deborah Riley Draper
- Narrated by: Mikki Taylor
- Length: 2 hrs and 58 mins
- Original Recording
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In Force of Beauty, Mikki Taylor, editor-at-large of Essence magazine and longtime activist, introduces us to her gifted grandmother, Bessie, her glamorous mother, Modina, and how Modina’s friendship with the legendary Sarah Vaughan shaped Mikki’s childhood. Taylor’s mini-memoir is a tribute to Newark in the '50s and '60s, of cool jazz clubs and close-knit neighborhoods, a handsome house on Avon Avenue, and one family’s tale of perseverance and ingenuity in a city they all loved.
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Cadence of narrator's voice is odd
- By Sharon S. on 02-25-21
By: Mikki Taylor, and others
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My Vanishing Country
- A Memoir
- By: Bakari Sellers
- Narrated by: Bakari Sellers
- Length: 5 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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What J. D. Vance did for Appalachia with Hillbilly Elegy, CNN analyst and one of the youngest state representatives in South Carolina history Bakari Sellers does for the rural South, in this important book that illuminates the lives of America’s forgotten Black working-class men and women. Part memoir, part historical and cultural analysis, My Vanishing Country is an eye-opening journey through the South's past, present, and future.
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What America Needs NOW!!!
- By Unknown on 05-22-20
By: Bakari Sellers
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Overground Railroad
- The Green Book and the Roots of Black Travel in America
- By: Candacy Taylor
- Narrated by: Lisa Reneé Pitts
- Length: 9 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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The first book to explore the historical role and residual impact of the Green Book, a travel guide for Black motorists.
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Narrator destroyed this for me! read it instead
- By purpleprose on 10-16-22
By: Candacy Taylor
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Summer of '85
- By: Chris Morrow, Kevin Hart, Charlamagne Tha God, and others
- Narrated by: Kevin Hart
- Length: 4 hrs and 47 mins
- Original Recording
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Welcome to the summer of 1985 in Philadelphia, when the city was rocked—in almost every sense of the word—by two unprecedented events: Mayor W. Wilson Goode’s May 13 decision to bomb the headquarters of MOVE, a controversial Philadelphia-based radical communal organization, and the July 13 Live Aid concert, where international rock royalty convened in Philly to raise money for victims of the Ethiopian famine. Separated by just two months and eight miles, these events would showcase both the best and the worst of the so-called City of Brotherly Love.
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Misleading title and poor execution
- By Scott on 10-28-22
By: Chris Morrow, and others
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Just as I Am
- A Memoir
- By: Cicely Tyson, Michelle Burford
- Narrated by: Cicely Tyson, Viola Davis, Robin Miles
- Length: 16 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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Just as I Am is my truth. It is me, plain and unvarnished, with the glitter and garland set aside. Here, I am indeed Cicely, the actress who has been blessed to grace the stage and screen for six decades. Yet I am also the church girl who once rarely spoke a word. I am the teenager who sought solace in the verses of the old hymn for which this book is named. I am a daughter and mother, a sister, and a friend. I am an observer of human nature and the dreamer of audacious dreams.
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A Legend and National Treasure
- By Mz Fabulous on 01-29-21
By: Cicely Tyson, and others
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When I Was White
- A Memoir
- By: Sarah Valentine
- Narrated by: Danielle Deadwyler
- Length: 8 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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At the age of 27, Sarah Valentine discovered that she was not, in fact, the White girl she had always believed herself to be. She learned the truth of her paternity: that her father was a Black man. And she learned the truth about her own identity: mixed race. And so Sarah began the difficult and absorbing journey of changing her identity from White to Black. In this memoir, Sarah details the story of the discovery of her identity, how she overcame depression to come to terms with this identity, and, perhaps most importantly, asks: why?
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Too long and repetitive
- By Santa Fe Lady on 08-15-19
By: Sarah Valentine
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Heavy
- By: Kiese Laymon
- Narrated by: Kiese Laymon
- Length: 6 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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