Surviving the White Gaze

A Memoir

De: Rebecca Carroll

Narrado por: Rebecca Carroll

An Esquire Best Book of 2021

A “gorgeous and powerful” (The New York Times Book Review) memoir from cultural critic Rebecca Carroll recounting her painful struggle to overcome a completely white childhood to forge her identity as a Black woman in America.

Rebecca Carroll grew up the only Black person in her rural New Hampshire town. Adopted at birth by artistic parents who believed in peace, love, and zero population growth, her early childhood was loving and idyllic—and yet she couldn’t articulate the deep sense of isolation she increasingly felt as she grew older.

Everything changed when she met her birth mother, a young white woman, who consistently undermined Carroll’s sense of her Blackness and self-esteem. Carroll’s childhood became harrowing, and her memoir explores the tension between the aching desire for her birth mother’s acceptance, the loyalty she feels toward her adoptive parents, and the search for her racial identity. As an adult, Carroll forged a path from city to city, struggling along the way with difficult boyfriends, depression, eating disorders, and excessive drinking. Ultimately, through the support of her chosen Black family, she was able to heal.

“Generous, intimate, searching, and formidable” (The Boston Globe), Surviving the White Gaze is a timely examination of racism and racial identity in America today.

Reseñas de la Crítica

"Critic and podcaster Rebecca Carroll narrates her accomplished memoir about growing up the adopted daughter of a white couple and being the only Black resident in her small New Hampshire town. This affecting chronicle illuminates the overt and subtle racial discrimination she encounters as she searches to find her place in the world. As Carroll recounts her bohemian upbringing and troubled relationship with her biological mother, her story will resonate with anyone who has felt like an outsider in their own family or community. Her measured delivery and unforced pacing underscore the narrative's disquieting moments as well as her growing unease and awareness. Her quietly expressive narration adds potency to this well-told and relatable story."

Perfect!

Much of what Rebecca wrote about resonated with me. I am thankful for her words and for her openness.

Compelling, Real, Poignant.

Rebecca Carroll’s reading of her own memoir makes it that much more impactful. All I can say is Thank You to Rebecca Carroll for sharing her life, her struggles, and her joy with the world. I learned a great deal about myself in these pages.

Great listen

When I first started the book I didn’t think I’d enjoy just the narration. But the story was so good and so much thought and discussion can come from it.

Moving Tale of Courage and Strength

This was such a jaw dropping, moving and inspirational read. Your courage and strength moved me to tears.

Revealing

I'm glad she narrated her story. No one could tell it like she did. I've often wondered what life is like being a biracial child. This story is so revealing. I experienced varied emotions listening to it. When is the world going to stop being like this for black & biracial people?