Surviving Dirty John

My True Story of Love, Lies, and Murder

By: Debra Newell, M. William Phelps - contributor

Narrated by: Debra Newell

Length: 10 hrs and 55 mins

Publisher's summary

Debra Newell is nothing if not a survivor. By the time she met John Michael Meehan online, she lived through a near-fatal childhood illness, an attempted rape in her 20s, the traumatic death of her sister at the hands of her brother-in-law, four failed marriages, and a litany of dating disasters. But despite those tragedies, she seemed to have it all: adoring children, a successful business, a fabulous penthouse apartment.

But there was something missing: the blinding, all-consuming love she first read about to occupy her time in her childhood sickbed. And she thought she found it with John Meehan.

More than a tabloid-ready true-crime expose, Debra's story is one of trauma, denial, and deception. But it is also a relatable, inspirational, and hopeful story of forgiveness, and, most of all, love. The lengths to which a woman will go to find - and keep - love; the boundaries children and parents cross to protect and save the people they love; the love one must find for oneself; and the ways the illusion of love can be used to manipulate and hurt.

©2021 A Voice for Women LLC (P)2021 Tantor

The Book tells the whole story

I absolutely loved this book! I saw the movie and have watched the netflix special but nothing tells the story like hearing it from the person who lived through it! I learned things through the book that were never brought up in the movie! It is amazing that Debra was able to come out on top ahead of all of this. She is an extraordinary woman and an amazing mother. I would highly recommend this book! I love audiobooks so if you are able to listen instead of reading the book, you will be pleasantly surprised!

Very important read for women everywhere

I applaud Debra Newell's work and grateful that she told her story. A lifesaving and life changing read.

narrator

the narrator was horrific! flat, monotone and sentences were broken and just very difficult to listen to

Wow!

What a story. Not blaming the victim at all! It is sad how brainwashed she was into
choosing this man over her own kids at first. Debra also strikes me as very foolish throughout the story. Needless to say, after going through some abusive experiences myself, i will purposefully remain single forever! Men are scum!!!

Such an important story

For those who are not familiar with narcs. There is no doubt God was on Debra’s family’s side. She is a strong woman bc I am sure trolls have given her more than enough grief.

Don’t be put off by (in my opinion, unjust) criticisms of author’s reading

This is a very worthwhile book on a little known subject - coercive control. The author has poured her heart out, sharing her experiences. Any criticism of her, as I read in other reviews, are unjust and mean. There is something to be said for hearing the story in the survivor’s own voice. It is a plus - and however she gets through the story - she deserves respect. I had no trouble following the story, though I was somewhat familiar with it already. Many more details than one finds elsewhere. Highly recommend.

Educational

Super educational book about domestic violence and coercive control. The author does a good job of explaining her life experiences that made her susceptible to the somewhat subtle onset of domestic abuse known as coercive control. I have read and listened to everything out there on Dirty John yet still learned new details in this book. I did not like Ms. Newell’s narration. I am not sure why she chose to self narrate but I will assume it was to further her healing. Because I make that assumption, I won’t criticize the narration any more than to say - I did not like it and wish they had chosen a professional.

Needs a new narrator

Newell is brave in sharing her story in hope that it’ll save other women from her same fate. I found it confusing the way it jumped from different times of her life, however. And it really needs a professional narrator. Newell’s style is very choppy and sometimes doesn’t accent the right words or have the proper pauses, which makes it sometimes challenging to follow. And I’m a little flabbergasted that she wasn’t able to learn from her past experiences with men and wish she had shared whether she’ll keep seeking that ‘perfect’ man, or if she has finally learned that the fairy tale is just a fantasy.

Interesting story, terrible narration

I’m familiar with this story from the podcast and tv series. This book provides additional information from Debra’s perspective, though repeated a lot and added unimportant details making the book drag on. Debra seemed to brag about her business, money, many cars and homes, which did not add to the story. And she spent a lot of time defending herself against public scrutiny she had received following the release of the podcast and tv show, rather than simply presenting the story from her point of view. I’m not sure why she chose to narrate the story herself, but it was a poor choice. Her narration was halting and distracting from the story itself.

That being said, I did listen to the whole book and it was very interesting and horrifying. I’m glad that Debra and her family were able to survive the horrors that John inflicted on them.

Hard to Rate

Debra Newell has survived crushing traumas throughout her life, and I admire her for telling her own story to clarify and expand on both the Dirty John Podcast and the TV series, as well as to rectify inaccurate portrayals of her in those productions. However, I think she has been done a disservice by her ghostwriter, who does not (yet?) possess the imagination or skill to craft such an important story. Also, her publisher didn’t appear to care about clarity, contradictions, or cliches that did nothing to bring the story to life. Copy editors missed even obvious mistakes such as incorrect word use. That being said, I think I would have been better off reading the text rather than listening to it. The narration by Debra herself made a difficult book to read even worse to listen to. I believe that Debra has every right to read her own story, but, unfortunately, her reading skills are not at a performance level, and it seems that even the producers hung her out to dry as uncorrected errors in word pronunciation, awkward pauses, and poorly read dialogue (which was klunky anyway) made the listening experience excruciating at times. I hate it for Debra that she’ll have to put up with still more criticism about these issues. She still should be proud of this accomplishment. She is an incredibly courageous women to be vulnerable in order to help other women learn about abuse and coercive control.