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On Our Best Behaviour
- The Price Women Pay to Be Good
- Narrated by: Elise Loehnen
- Length: 11 hrs and 54 mins
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Publisher's summary
Why do women equate self-denial with being ‘good’?
We congratulate ourselves when we resist the donut in the office breakroom. We celebrate our restraint when we hold back from sending an email in anger. We put others’ needs ahead of our own and believe this makes us exemplary. Journalist and podcast host Elise Loehnen explains that these impulses – often lauded as distinctly feminine instincts – are actually ingrained in us by a culture that reaps the benefits, via an extraordinarily effective collection of social mores:
Lust. Gluttony. Greed. Sloth. Wrath. Envy. Pride.
These so-called ‘deadly sins’ have been used by the patriarchy to control women throughout our history. For instance, a fear of gluttony drives us to ignore our appetites and an aversion to greed prevents us from negotiating a better salary at work.
So, what would happen if we stopped trying to be ‘good’?
Provocative and bold, On Our Best Behaviour is a probing analysis of history and contemporary culture that explains how women have internalised the patriarchy, and how they unwittingly reinforce it. By sharing her own story and the spiritual wisdom of other traditions, Elise Loehnen shows how we can break free and discover a path toward a more balanced, fulfilled way to live.
Critic reviews
"In On Our Best Behavior — a raw cri de coeur, penetrating social analysis, and revealing personal reflection — Elise Loehnen deftly deconstructs one of the central ideological buttresses of patriarchal society: the shaming of women for having human desires, strengths, capacities and strivings of body, mind, and soul. Doing so, she provides a guide to liberation and a return to the authentic feminine self." (Gabor Maté MD, author of The Myth of Normal)
"A stunning, big and bold encyclopedia of how to live – the first post-pandemic book to take our latest measurements and provide something fresh to comfort, embolden, enlighten and enrich who we are today. Loehnen is never instructive but always right. The book never flags and each section has a takeaway for how to live wiser, and an anecdote to help you feel less alone. On Our Best Behavior is nothing short of a tangible necessity in our new intangible world." (Lisa Taddeo, author of Three Women)
"What if women finally found freedom – because we gave it to ourselves? In On Our Best Behavior, Elise Loehnen brilliantly reframes our toxic cultural programming and helps us to see that what we thought were our sins are actually our greatest virtues. This book is the gift we have all been waiting for." (Lori Gottlieb, author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone)
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4 out of 5 stars
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Pursue meaning, reject hyper-individualism
- By Adam Shields on 05-07-19
By: David Brooks
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Fierce Self-Compassion
- How Women Can Harness Kindness to Speak Up, Claim Their Power, and Thrive
- By: Kristin Neff
- Narrated by: Jean Ann Douglass
- Length: 12 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 295
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 250
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 249
Kristin Neff changed how we talk about self-care with her enormously popular first book, Self-Compassion. Now, 10 years and many studies later, she expands her body of work to explore a brand-new take on self-compassion. Although kindness and self-acceptance allow us to be with ourselves as we are, in all our glorious imperfection, the desire to alleviate suffering at the heart of this mindset isn't always gentle, sometimes it's fierce.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Liberal Activism distracting
- By Janiene on 07-26-21
By: Kristin Neff
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A Radical Awakening
- Turn Pain into Power, Embrace Your Truth, Live Free
- By: Shefali Tsabary
- Narrated by: Shefali Tsabary
- Length: 15 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 1,111
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 948
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Story5 out of 5 stars 942
A Radical Awakening lays out a path for women to heal their psychic wounds and prepares them to discover their own powers to help heal others and the planet. Dr. Shefali helps women uncover the purpose that already exists within them and harness the power of authenticity in every area of their lives. The result is an eloquent and inspiring, practical and accessible book, backed with real-life examples and personal stories, that unlocks the extraordinary power necessary to awaken the conscious self.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Idealistic views without tools
- By Just a Dad on 06-11-21
By: Shefali Tsabary
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Men's Work
- A Practical Guide to Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, and Find Freedom
- By: Connor Beaton
- Narrated by: Connor Beaton
- Length: 9 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 55
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 49
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Story5 out of 5 stars 48
In Men’s Work, ManTalks founder Connor Beaton offers the tactical, self-led guide men have been looking for. Here, he destigmatizes inner work by reframing it as a kind of psychological warrior training that many men can relate to and have been craving. Beaton walks you through a framework for facing the hidden and rejected aspects of yourself—factors that lead to self-sabotage, anxiety, and depression.
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5 out of 5 stars
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From a woman’s perspective
- By NBB on 03-21-23
By: Connor Beaton
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10 Conversations You Need to Have with Yourself
- A Powerful Plan for Spiritual Growth and Self-Improvement
- By: Shmuley Boteach
- Narrated by: Shmuley Boteach
- Length: 6 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 46
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 40
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 39
Some of the most effective talk therapy is self-talk therapy - learning to connect positively with that internal voice that serves as your own personal GPS to guide you through life. Rabbi Shmuley teaches the reader to reconnect with the inner voice of conscience, the source of personal dreams and values, which has been so drowned out by the noise of a culture that emphasizes form over substance, career over calling, and consumption over conviction. Drawing on Rabbi Shmuley's extensive counseling experience, this book helps you defeat negative self-talk.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Grateful for inspiration, guidance and humility
- By Mike on 07-27-15
By: Shmuley Boteach
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The Emotional Edge
- Discover Your Inner Age, Ignite Your Hidden Strengths, and Reroute Misdirected Fear to Live Your Fullest
- By: Crystal Andrus Morissette
- Narrated by: Andi Arndt
- Length: 9 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 23
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 19
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Story5 out of 5 stars 18
The Emotional Edge is an exciting expansion of Crystal's successful brand - she has tackled weight management, confidence building, and spiritual growth; now she combines all that and more into her most powerful program yet. The Emotional Edge is a guide for letting go of the past and embracing a more empowered future. This audiobook is spiritual self-help designed to teach listeners how to overcome behavioral ruts and engage the world from a happier, more empowered place.
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5 out of 5 stars
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the world needs more of this.
- By Amber Jessop on 11-25-17
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The Second Mountain
- How People Move from the Prison of Self to the Joy of Commitment
- By: David Brooks
- Narrated by: Arthur Morey
- Length: 12 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,743
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,481
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,474
Author David Brooks explores the four commitments that define a life of meaning and purpose: to a spouse and family, to a vocation, to a philosophy or faith, and to a community. Our personal fulfillment depends on how well we choose and execute these commitments. Brooks looks at a range of people who have lived joyous, committed lives, and who have embraced the necessity and beauty of dependence. He gathers their wisdom on how to choose a partner, how to pick a vocation, how to live out a philosophy, and how we can begin to integrate our commitments into one overriding purpose.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Pursue meaning, reject hyper-individualism
- By Adam Shields on 05-07-19
By: David Brooks
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Ten Stupid Things Men Do to Mess Up Their Lives
- By: Laura Schlessinger Ph.D.
- Narrated by: Laura Schlessinger Ph.D.
- Length: 2 hrs and 52 mins
- Abridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 137
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 87
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 86
Following the tremendous success of her New York Times best sellers, Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives and How Could You Do That?!, Dr. Laura Schlessinger, the conscience of talk radio, now addresses the stupid things men do that diminish their lives and happiness. With real-world examples from her radio show and strikingly honest letters from her male listeners, her book reveals that many men demonstrate a level of sensitivity and insight that will surprise most women.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Loved it!
- By Ethan on 03-21-18
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To Have and to Hold
- Motherhood, Marriage, and the Modern Dilemma
- By: Molly Millwood
- Narrated by: Molly Millwood
- Length: 9 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 465
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 376
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 380
A clinical psychologist’s exploration of the modern dilemmas women face in the wake of new motherhood. When Molly Millwood became a mother, she was fully prepared for what she would gain: an adorable baby boy; hard-won mothering skills; and a messy, chaotic, beautiful life. But what she did not expect was what she would lose: aspects of her identity, a baseline level of happiness, a general sense of well-being.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Pretty good
- By C Sandell on 03-07-21
By: Molly Millwood
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How to Be Sad
- Everything I’ve Learned About Getting Happier by Being Sad
- By: Helen Russell
- Narrated by: Helen Russell
- Length: 10 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 33
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 30
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 31
Helen Russell has researched sadness from the inside out for her entire life. Her earliest memory is of the day her sister died. Her parents divorced soon after, and her mother didn’t receive the help she needed to grieve. Coping with her own emotional turmoil — including struggles with body image and infertility — she’s endured professional and personal setbacks as well as relationships that have imploded in truly spectacular ways. Even the things that brought her the greatest joy — like eventually becoming a parent — are fraught with challenges.
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2 out of 5 stars
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More an self biography
- By Jaime Murillo on 04-27-24
By: Helen Russell
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Bad Sex
- Truth, Pleasure, and an Unfinished Revolution
- By: Nona Willis Aronowitz
- Narrated by: Nona Willis Aronowitz
- Length: 9 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 74
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 63
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 63
At thirty-two years old, everything in Nona Willis Aronowitz’s life, and in America, was in disarray. Her marriage was falling apart. Her nuclear family was slipping away. Her heart and libido were both in overdrive. Embroiled in an era of fear, reckoning, and reimagining, her assumptions of what “sexual liberation” meant were suddenly up for debate.
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5 out of 5 stars
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I was born in the 50s, sexually active in the mid 70s
- By Pixel on 08-22-22
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Nobody Knows the Trouble I’ve Seen
- The Emotional Lives of Black Women
- By: Inger Burnett-Zeigler
- Narrated by: Adenrele Ojo
- Length: 7 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 105
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 90
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Story5 out of 5 stars 89
Black women are beautiful, intelligent, and capable - but mostly they embrace strong. Esteemed clinical psychologist Dr. Inger Burnett-Zeigler praises the strength of women while exploring how trauma and adversity have led to deep emotional pain and shaped how they walk through the world.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Amazing!
- By charlene lindsey on 09-08-21
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Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture
- 11 Steps to Keep Her Happy, Healthy, and Safe
- By: Meg Meeker
- Narrated by: Lisbeth Carol Keen
- Length: 6 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 292
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 251
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Story5 out of 5 stars 249
Learn about the essential, complementary roles that mothers and fathers play; the dangers of social media - and how to help your daughter navigate them; what every daughter needs to know about God; how to launch your daughter into successful womanhood; and more.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Should had read the details instead of the title.
- By Ms. Burke on 11-15-20
By: Meg Meeker
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The Ten Commandments
- The Significance of God's Laws in Everyday Life
- By: Laura Schlessinger Ph.D., Rabbi Stewart Vogel
- Narrated by: Laura Schlessinger Ph.D., Rabbi Stewart Vogel
- Length: 2 hrs and 43 mins
- Abridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 72
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 36
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Story5 out of 5 stars 35
The Ten Commandments are the first direct communication between a people and God. Designed to elevate our lives above mere frantic, animal existence to the sublime levels humanity is capable of experiencing, they are the blueprint of God's expectations of us and his plan for a meaningful, just, loving, and holy life. Each commandment asserts a principle, and each principle is a moral focus point for real-life issues relating to God, family, sex, work, charity, property, speech, and thought.
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4 out of 5 stars
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The Ten Commandments
- By PineappleGirl on 12-08-06
By: Laura Schlessinger Ph.D., and others
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Trapped in the Mirror
- Adult Children of Narcissists in Their Struggle for Self
- By: Elan Golomb
- Narrated by: Angela Brazil
- Length: 11 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 129
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 113
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Story4 out of 5 stars 114
The difficulties experienced by adult children of narcissists can manifest themselves in many ways - for example, physical self-loathing that takes the form of overeating, anorexia, or bulimia; a self-destructive streak that causes poor job performance and rocky personal relationships; or a struggle with the self that is perpetuated in the adult's interaction with his or her own children. These dilemmas are both common and correctable, Elan Golomb tells us.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Am I trapped?
- By D. Villalpando on 10-11-16
By: Elan Golomb
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How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It
- By: Patricia Love, Steven Stosny
- Narrated by: Laural Merlington
- Length: 6 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,764
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,480
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,460
Men are right. The "relationship talk" does not help. Dr. Patricia Love’s and Dr. Steven Stosny’s How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It reveals the stunning truth about marital happiness: Love is not about better communication. It's about connection.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Must read if your on the verge of loosing it all!
- By Chris on 07-19-15
By: Patricia Love, and others
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The Feminine Mystique
- By: Betty Friedan
- Narrated by: Parker Posey
- Length: 15 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,038
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 898
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 890
The book that changed the consciousness of a country - and the world. Landmark, groundbreaking, classic - these adjectives barely describe the earthshaking and long-lasting effects of Betty Friedan's The Feminine Mystique. This is the book that defined "the problem that has no name", that launched the Second Wave of the feminist movement, and has been awakening women and men with its insights into social relations, which still remain fresh, ever since.
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5 out of 5 stars
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A landmark book of its time and relevant now
- By Anthony on 01-23-15
By: Betty Friedan
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The Wonder of Boys
- By: Michael Gurian
- Narrated by: Michael Gurian
- Length: 3 hrs and 18 mins
- Abridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 202
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 148
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Story4 out of 5 stars 146
What can parents, mentors, and educators do to shape boys into exceptional men? Michael Gurian, a respected therapist, storyteller, and recognized expert in family systems, explains the basic needs of every boy: a primary and extended family, a relationship with mother, father, and mentors, and support from his community.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Great Book for Mothers and Fathers
- By Janine on 05-20-09
By: Michael Gurian
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Why Good People Do Bad Things
- By: Debbie Ford
- Narrated by: Debbie Ford
- Length: 8 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 143
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 70
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 72
Why Good People Do Bad Things exposes the pervasive and often hidden impulses that influence our everyday decisions. The headlines are full of stories of good people gone astray. They show up on the evening news and are splashed across the weekly tabloids.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Examples but no help changing...
- By Rebecca on 12-13-11
By: Debbie Ford
What listeners say about On Our Best Behaviour
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Tracey
- 07-06-23
Engaging and enlightening.
Reflecting on the history of the seven deadly sins as a way to understand the limitations the patriarchy place and expect of women and society at large. Women are encouraged to think about the seven deadly sins as virtues. So much more than this, very enlightening and enriching.
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