My Life in the Sunshine

Searching for My Father and Discovering My Family

By: Nabil Ayers

Narrated by: Nabil Ayers

“Nabil traces the image of his father through song. With growing fascination and heartbreak, he draws out meaning from the shadow of absence, and ultimately redefines what it means to be a family.” - Michelle Zauner, New York Times bestselling author of Crying in H Mart and Grammy nominated musician Japanese Breakfast


A memoir about one man's journey to connect with his musician father, ultimately re-drawing the lines that define family and race.


Throughout his adult life, whether he was opening a Seattle record store in the '90s or touring the world as the only non-white band member in alternative rock bands, Nabil Ayers felt the shadow and legacy of his father's musical genius, and his race, everywhere.

In 1971, a white, Jewish, former ballerina, chose to have a child with the famous Black jazz musician Roy Ayers, fully expecting and agreeing that he would not be involved in the child's life. In this highly original memoir, their son, Nabil Ayers, recounts a life spent living with the aftermath of that decision, and his journey to build an identity of his own despite and in spite of his father’s absence.

Growing up, Nabil only meets his father a handful of times. But Roy’s influence is strong, showing itself in Nabil’s instinctual love of music, and later, in the music industry—Nabil’s chosen career path. By turns hopeful--wanting to connect with the man who passed down his genetic predisposition for musical talent—and frustrated with Roy’s continued emotional distance, Nabil struggles with how much DNA can define a family… and a person.

Unable to fully connect with Roy, Nabil ultimately discovers the existence of several half-siblings as well as a paternal ancestor who was enslaved. Following these connections, Nabil meets and befriends the descendant of the plantation owner, which, strangely, paves the way for him to make meaningful connections with extended family he never knew existed.

Undeterred by his father's absence, Nabil, through sheer will and a drive to understand his roots, re-draws the lines that define family and race.

Inspiring Journey through life

Nabil has led an amazing life never distracted by his past. Nabil is celebrating the amazing people in the world that have shaped his life and inspired his insightful journey.

Outstanding, powerful, funny, and thought-provoking.

A truly beautiful story about what family means and an incredibly accessible and multi-dimensional examination of race, class, and culture.

Everyone said it was so good and it’s SO GOOD!!!

I loved this book, an incredible story and an incredible journey to take. I cried so much. It was a privilege to hear nabil describe what life was like and the perspective of his many experiences. I really loved it. I’ll be glad to share it with my son when he’s older.

Brilliant book

Mr. Ayers is an encyclopedia of music knowledge and documents the evolution of music and our favorite bands over the last 30 years in a humorous and complicated story sharing his life accomplishments and struggles. We done.

An amazing biography on family and race

Nabil’s biography is a heartfelt telling of his life journey so far and how race and “family” were ever present.

learning about Roy Ayers and his absence in his son's life

Excellent listen! thoroughly enjoyed the story and the reading by the author. I learned so much about Roy Ayers and I'm reminded of the human imperfections of us all.

Interesting memoir!

I had no idea who Nabil Ayers was (fairly typical for me and memoirs) but I heard him on NPR and the book sounded interesting. It was! I think that's kind of the gauge to, "Does this book have literary merit?" It's well written, well narrated, and covers a lot of ground.