
More Bedtime Stories for Cynics
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2020 Audie Award, Humor
Nick Offerman and his posse of high-profile guests present this series of 12 short stories written in the style of classic kid’s tales, but with a decidedly adult approach.
If children's literature is any guide, we should all be able to magically fall asleep simply by saying goodnight to the things we can see from our beds. But any adult knows that our work anxieties and shameful memories would rather stay up all night and chat. That’s where Offerman and Co. come in—with clever and occasionally downright dark parodies of the classic kids genre. What really happened after Snow White died, from the perspective of the one medically trained dwarf? A naive wizard professor reports back from the trenches of an underprivileged school of magic. A middle-aged man is haunted by the voices of his own aging body. The stories will make you laugh, cry and probably squirm a little.
Performers include: Patrick Stewart, Alia Shawkat, Jane Lynch, Aparna Nancherla, Harry Goaz, Mike Birbiglia, Ellen Page, Rachel Dratch, Gary Anthony Williams, Nicole Byer, and Matt Walsh.
Please note that this audiobook contains explicit content.
©2018 Audible Originals, LLC (P)2019 Audible Originals, LLC.Los oyentes también disfrutaron...
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Our favorite moments from More Bedtime Stories for Cynics

About the Host
Best known as the indomitable Ron Swanson in the popular NBC television series Parks and Recreation, Nick Offerman is an uncommon quadruple threat: carpenter, comedian, actor, and author. Offerman first hit the New York Times bestseller list with the release of his semi-autobiographical work Paddle Your Own Canoe: One Man’s Fundamentals for Delicious Living, and followed it up with the best-selling Gumption: Relighting the Torch of Freedom with America’s Gutsiest Troublemakers and Good Clean Fun: Misadventures in Sawdust at Offerman Woodshop. Offerman co-wrote and co-narrated the Audie Award winning audiobook The Greatest Love Story Ever Told: An Oral History with his wife Megan Mullally. Currently he keeps busy producing and hosting a lighthearted crafting competition, Making It, alongside Amy Poehler for NBC.

About the Performer
Patrick Stewart is one of the most acclaimed performers working today, with numerous and varied roles on both the stage and screens big and small. He has been awarded multiple Golden Globe, Screen Actors Guild, Emmy, and Tony nominations for his work. Stewart was nominated for a Critics’ Choice Award for his performance in James Mangold’s Logan opposite Hugh Jackman. In addition to starring on the Starz comedy Blunt Talk as lead actor Walter Blunt, he also starred opposite Anton Yelchin in Jeremy Saulnier’s genre film Green Room which went to the Cannes Film Festival and Toronto International Film Festival. On Broadway and West End stages, Patrick has also appeared in A Life in the Theatre, The Master Builder, The Ride Down Mt. Morgan, and The Tempest. For his acclaimed solo production of A Christmas Carol, Stewart played over 40 characters, garnering an Olivier, Drama Desk, and WhatsOnStage Award.

About the Performer
Academy Award-winning actress and director Anjelica Huston continues her renowned family’s legacy in film. Throughout her career, Huston has received a Best Supporting Actress Oscar for her role as Maerose Prizzi in the black comedy Prizzi’s Honor, in which she starred opposite Jack Nicholson and Kathleen Turner. In 2005, Huston received a Golden Globe Award for her role in HBO’s original movie Iron Jawed Angels, in which she starred opposite Hilary Swank and Julia Ormond. Her directorial debut was an unflinching adaptation of Dorothy Allison’s best-selling memoir, Bastard Out of Carolina, which garnered Huston critical acclaim. She received an Emmy Award nomination for her work on the controversial drama, as well as a Directors Guild Award nomination. Huston is also a New York Times best-selling author. Her memoir A Story Lately Told: Coming of Age in Ireland, London, and New York was published in November 2013.

About the Performer
Aparna started out doing comedy in her hometown of Washington DC and now resides in New York City. She is a series regular in Comedy Central’s Corporate and has reprised her role of Anaya in season 3 of HBO’s Crashing. Aparna is also featured in the second season of Netflix’s The Standups. Other television credits include Netflix’s Master of None and Love, HBO’s High Maintenance, Comedy Central’s Inside Amy Schumer, and Hulu’s I Love You, America with Sarah Silverman. In 2018 she made her feature debut in the Paul Feig movie A Simple Favor. Aparna has been featured on and in NPR, Reader’s Digest, The Huffington Post, The Washington Post Magazine, XM Radio, and Slate V. She can regularly be seen performing at the Upright Citizen’s Brigade’s in LA and NYC. Her debut album Just Putting It Out There was released in July 2016 by Tig Notaro’s label Bentzen Ball Records and hit #4 on the Billboard Comedy Charts. Her TV writing credits include Late Night with Seth Meyers as well as being a regular correspondent/writer on FX’s Totally Biased with W. Kamau Bell.

About the Performer
Alia Shawkat stars in the Jax Media produced TBS series Search Party which she also produces. She can be seen in Comedy Central’s Broad City, HBO’s Getting On, Amazon's Transparent, and in her best known role as Maeby Fünke in the cult series Arrested Development. Shawkat also starred in Sophie Hyde’s Animals opposite Holliday Grainger which premiered at the Sundance Film Festival. She can be seen in Ethan Hawke’s film Blaze, in the thriller Green Room, and in the Paul Reubens and Judd Apatow Netflix feature Pee-wee’s Big Holiday. Alia's other feature credits include Paint It Black, Nasty Baby, Wild Canaries, Night Moves, The To Do List, The Final Girls, Me Him Her, The Driftless Area, 20th Century Women, and Izzy Gets the F Across Town. Shawkat also lent her voice to the Gimlet scripted podcast Sandra
opposite Kristen Wiig and Ethan Hawke. In addition to acting, Alia is a talented jazz singer, pianist, and an accomplished painter and illustrator.
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64th Man
- Starring John Cena and Anna Chlumsky
- De: Bryan Tucker, Zack Phillips
- Narrado por: John Cena, Anna Chlumsky, Jane Curtin, y otros
- Duración: 5 h y 12 m
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In sports, everybody loves redemption stories, the underdog who no one believes in but through sheer hard work wins it all. But no one tells the stories of the players who work hard and don’t make it. In pro football, 53 guys get on the roster. Ten make it to the practice squad. And then there’s the 64th Man - that’s Billy Logan (Cena), who seems to always be one spot from glory.
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I LOVE YOU JOHN CENA!
- De Victoria en 11-15-19
De: Bryan Tucker, y otros
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Bedtime Stories for Cynics
- De: Dave Hill, Jessica Conrad, Sean Keane, y otros
- Narrado por: Nick Offerman, Phoebe Robinson, David Spade, y otros
- Duración: 1 h y 42 m
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Are the kids asleep? Yes? Good. This one isn’t for them. Now, if your weary, grown-up mind has been searching for a snarkier alternative to your favorite childhood tales, this Audible Original, hosted by Nick Offerman (Parks & Recreation), will scratch that itch - and then some. Enjoy a hilarious collection of short stories, featuring performances from the likes of Tommy Chong (Cheech & Chong), Tony Hale (Veep), Patton Oswalt (The Goldbergs), and David Spade (Saturday Night Live).
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It's Just...Alright.
- De Chelsea en 06-10-19
De: Dave Hill, y otros
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True West
- De: Sam Shepard
- Narrado por: Kit Harington, Johnny Flynn
- Duración: 1 h y 27 m
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Kit Harington (Games of Thrones) and Johnny Flynn (Beast) smolder and burn as sparring brothers in Sam Shepard’s darkly comic 1980 drama. The live theatre production of True West was performed at the Vaudeville Theatre in London, United Kingdom, in 2019. It was produced by Joseph Smith and John Brant for Smith & Brant Theatricals and James Bierman for Empire Street Productions.
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Screenwriters, golf and brother's hate
- De Kingsley en 04-05-19
De: Sam Shepard
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Heads Will Roll
- De: Kate McKinnon, Emily Lynne
- Narrado por: Kate McKinnon, Emily Lynne, Tim Gunn, y otros
- Duración: 4 h y 6 m
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Heads Will Roll is an Audible Original from Saturday Night Live star Kate McKinnon and her cocreator/costar (and real-life sister) Emily Lynne. Produced by Broadway Video, this is not an audiobook - it’s a 10-episode, star-studded audio comedy that features performances from Meryl Streep, Tim Gunn, Peter Dinklage, Queer Eye’s Fab Five, and so many more. Please note: This content is not for kids.
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More like this please
- De Anon893 en 05-03-19
De: Kate McKinnon, y otros
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Foreverywhere
- De: Steve Burns, Steven Drozd, Gabe Soria
- Narrado por: Steve Burns, Carly Ciarrocchi, Stephanie Mayers
- Duración: 3 h
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Foreverywhere tells the tale of a young unicorn (perhaps the last on Earth?!) and his quest, along with a Giant named Rick, a spider named Betsy and the guitar-shredding Princess Rainbow, to form the best band in the fantastical world of Anyville. But first, they’ll have to contend with the increasingly strange weather that seems to follow Princess Rainbow everywhere, and a rival band determined to bring them down. Will this group of misfits be able to rise above?
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My new favorite Audible Original
- De GranularGray en 08-05-19
De: Steve Burns, y otros
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Rivals! Frenemies Who Changed the World
- De: Scott McCormick
- Narrado por: Prentice Onayemi, Samantha Turret, Khristine Hvam, y otros
- Duración: 2 h y 55 m
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Did you know that most of our dinosaur fossils were discovered because two grown men absolutely hated each other? It’s true! Rivals! Frenemies Who Changed the World is a riotous audio exclusive, like if Monty Python taught your history class. Each volume of four 30-minute histories will dig into the petty name-calling and grumbling grudges that led to many of the world’s greatest advancements, all delivered with a cheeky sense of humor. Choose sides: Cope or Marsh, the jerks who discovered so many dinosaurs; Hamilton or Burr, whose rivalry fueled American politics; and many more....
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Warning for parents...
- De Jetjaguar15 en 07-08-19
De: Scott McCormick
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64th Man
- Starring John Cena and Anna Chlumsky
- De: Bryan Tucker, Zack Phillips
- Narrado por: John Cena, Anna Chlumsky, Jane Curtin, y otros
- Duración: 5 h y 12 m
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In sports, everybody loves redemption stories, the underdog who no one believes in but through sheer hard work wins it all. But no one tells the stories of the players who work hard and don’t make it. In pro football, 53 guys get on the roster. Ten make it to the practice squad. And then there’s the 64th Man - that’s Billy Logan (Cena), who seems to always be one spot from glory.
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I LOVE YOU JOHN CENA!
- De Victoria en 11-15-19
De: Bryan Tucker, y otros
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All Rise
- Audio Perambulation
- De: Nick Offerman
- Narrado por: Nick Offerman
- Duración: 1 h y 45 m
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In Nick Offerman's view, we as a country can be doing a better job when it comes to decency. While most of the country has spent the last few years fighting about everything from politics to the existence of science, there are some things we can all agree about, like that we only really need one flavor of Oreo cookies. And that despite all the challenges we're currently facing, America can get it together if we can, simply, rise above it all, and admit that a lot what we're fighting about is actually pretty stupid, especially when told in Nick's signature comedic voice.
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Thank you The Daily Show!
- De Corbet en 10-16-20
De: Nick Offerman
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The Man on the Mountaintop
- An Audible Original Drama
- De: Susan Trott, Libby Spurrier - adaptor
- Narrado por: Stanley Tucci, Toby Jones, Clare Corbett, y otros
- Duración: 5 h y 45 m
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The Man on the Mountaintop tells the story of Holy Man Joe, an ageing and unassuming man who lives in a hermitage on top of a mountain. During the summer months, thousands of hopefuls line the path leading to his door, seeking his wisdom. From bombastic, wealthy nobles intent on cheating their way to the top to drunkards who gradually build the physical and mental strength they need to quit their addiction, The Man on the Mountaintop is a rousing tale full of humour, wit and life lessons.
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Great listen!
- De LisaMarie en 01-29-18
De: Susan Trott, y otros
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Center of the YOUniverse
- De: Tituss Burgess, Jane Krakowski
- Narrado por: Tituss Burgess, Jane Krakowski
- Duración: 1 h y 24 m
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Center of the YOUniverse is an out-of-this-world spectacle starring Tituss Burgess and Jane Krakowski with music, laughter, and (probably) the salvation of humanity from its self-inflicted doom. Unaware of just how brightly the other one shines, Tituss and Jane will attempt the impossible: a double-booking. In a unique blend of song and storytelling, they’ll stop at nothing to upstage each other and steal the spotlight…until they realize the true purpose of being ridiculously attractive and having immeasureble talent: to unite and heal the world.
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Yikes, it had potential but…
- De Chantal Noordeloos en 12-27-23
De: Tituss Burgess, y otros
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Dodge & Twist
- An Audible Original Drama
- De: Tony Lee
- Narrado por: Matt Lucas, Stephen Mangan, Michael Socha, y otros
- Duración: 4 h y 56 m
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It’s rumoured that Dickens wanted to return to his classic novel Oliver Twist, to bring him back into a later book as an older character, but he never managed this before he died. However, if Oliver had returned, what would he have been like? Would the scars of his childhood affect the man he would become? And what of ‘Dodger’, sent to a land halfway around the world, his friend, mentor and master dead because of Oliver? Dodge & Twist is that story. The tale of two boys, 12 years later, returning into each other’s lives - for both good and bad.
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Excellent performance, pretty dismal story
- De Kevin en 02-04-19
De: Tony Lee
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You Do You
- Proud to Be Fabulous
- De: Tan France, Nikki Levy, Janine Brito, y otros
- Narrado por: Tan France, Nikki Levy, full cast
- Duración: 1 h y 47 m
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Jump into Pride with Tan France (Queer Eye), Nikki Levy, and seven fabulous storytellers as they share true tales of exploring, embracing, and celebrating queer identity. You Do You, produced especially for Pride Month, brings Audible Members a collection of uplifting, raw, and hilarious stories from queer actors, comedians, and personalities. Co-hosted by French-tuck aficionado and super-stylist Tan France, and storytelling maven Nikki Levy, You Do You is a fierce, unfiltered celebration of LGBTQIA+ realness.
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Funny Collection of LGBTQ+ Stories
- De Catherine Puma en 06-10-19
De: Tan France, y otros
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George Carlin Reads to You
- An Audio Collection Including Grammy Winners 'Braindroppings' and 'Napalm & Silly Putty'
- De: George Carlin
- Narrado por: George Carlin
- Duración: 7 h y 5 m
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If one George Carlin audio is funny, then two are funnier and three must be funniest, right? That's our thinking behind this new collection. t's a HighBridge library of laugh-out-loud, award-winning recordings featuring George himself performing many of his best bits.
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Like a Cast of Thousands
- De Rick en 07-16-12
De: George Carlin
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The Book of Common Fallacies
- Falsehoods, Misconceptions, Flawed Facts, and Half-Truths That Are Ruining Your Life
- De: Phillip Ward, Julia Edwards
- Narrado por: Traber Burns
- Duración: 21 h y 35 m
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Everything you thought you knew was wrong! Long before Snopes.com and Wikipedia, The Book of Common Fallacies set out to debunk popular beliefs and set the record straight. By tracking down the facts and citing experts in a multitude of fields, Philip Ward points out the senseless ideas that we have come to accept as fact. Newly updated with today’s common misconceptions, The Book of Common Fallacies exposes the truth behind hundreds of commonly held false beliefs.
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A few good entries, but most are obscure
- De Dana en 06-10-16
De: Phillip Ward, y otros
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Beezer
- Beezer, Book 1
- De: Brandon T. Snider
- Narrado por: Fred Berman, Eric Yves Garcia, Joniece Abbott-Pratt, y otros
- Duración: 2 h y 8 m
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Beelzebub, the prince of demons, is bored. It's his destiny to one day rule the dark underworld known as the Red Realm, but it's sooo boring down there. All he wants to do is lay around all day in the lava pits (ahhh), boss everyone around (rude!), and maybe play a cruel prank (or two). But Beelzebub's father has had it with his son's nasty attitude. No one backtalks the Red King. NO ONE. A disgraced Beelzebub is banished by his father and cursed to spend his days in the worst place either of them can imagine. EARTH.
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What do I know?
- De R. MCRACKAN en 02-02-20
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Have a Nice Day
- De: Billy Crystal, Quinton Peeples
- Narrado por: Justin Bartha, Annette Bening, Dick Cavett, y otros
- Duración: 1 h y 46 m
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Tony and Emmy Award-winner Billy Crystal leads an all-star cast including Oscar winner Kevin Kline (President David Murray) and four-time Oscar nominee Annette Bening (First Lady Katherine Murray) in a performance of this hilarious and poignant story about a man desperately scrambling to put his affairs in order: to save his presidency, his marriage, his relationship with his daughter – and possibly his life.
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Midlife crisis in the white house
- De Kingsley en 11-02-18
De: Billy Crystal, y otros
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Killer by Nature
- An Audible Original Drama
- De: Jan Smith
- Narrado por: Angela Griffin, Robert James-Collier, Katherine Kelly, y otros
- Duración: 4 h y 31 m
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What’s in a label? Are we the product of our upbringing or do we have a natural propensity towards good or evil? The eternal question of nature vs nurture is at the centre of Dr Diane Buckley’s world. A talented freelance forensic psychologist who has never quite found the key to engaging with people on a casual level, she is drafted in to examine a grisly murder – a body found in a children’s playground.
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Deleted it halfway through...
- De JS en 02-04-19
De: Jan Smith
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The Christmas Hirelings
- De: Mary Elizabeth Braddon
- Narrado por: Richard Armitage
- Duración: 3 h y 53 m
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Sir John Penlyon is planning to spend Christmas at his estate with his niece and his friend Danby, the closest thing he has to family since disowning his daughter years ago. (She eloped with the parson, who was, of course, penniless.) Danby suggests that at Christmastime the estate needs the presence of small children, and offers to find some - the “hirelings” - despite Sir John’s skepticism. Three children duly arrive, and the youngest, precocious four year-old Moppet, quickly endears herself to Sir John.
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Boring
- De Allen en 12-10-18
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Escape from Virtual Island
- An Audio Comedy
- De: John Lutz
- Narrado por: Paul Rudd, Jack McBrayer, Sue Galloway, y otros
- Duración: 4 h y 28 m
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In the year 2038, there’s only one destination that can play host to the world’s wealthiest adventure seekers: the Pengalaman Island Resort and Virtual Reality Theme Park. Located on a private South Pacific island, guests here live out their wildest fantasies in custom-made virtual reality simulations while also enjoying the usual amenities of an exclusive five-star getaway. All is relatively breezy until famed billionaire and avid guest, Mr. Wagner, goes missing within a virtual simulation. His only hope? A daring rescue led by Derek Ambrose and his ragtag search party.
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Story is a Bit Stupid
- De Jeffrey veals en 04-03-20
De: John Lutz
Lo que los oyentes dicen sobre More Bedtime Stories for Cynics
Calificaciones medias de los clientesReseñas - Selecciona las pestañas a continuación para cambiar el origen de las reseñas.
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- Kanga Mom
- 05-03-19
Quirky and Enjoyable
Excellent production of stories in the same vein as "A Boy and His Dog". LOVED the high quality of narrators. Could there EVER be a better voice than Anjelica Huston? There's truth in the stories, too: Rage is the cause of all real and lasting change!
This audiobook is short enough to make a long drive more bearable, or play the stories a few at a time for commute listening.
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esto le resultó útil a 14 personas
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- Bella
- 05-07-19
The stories were really fun !
I had a great time listening to these stories. They were hilarious. I would recommend this book to everyone not only cynics.
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esto le resultó útil a 8 personas
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- VeraLupe
- 05-06-19
Funny!
This is a very entertaining compilation. Can be considered a bit grim for some but just the right amount of amusing for some others. I loved it!
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esto le resultó útil a 8 personas
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- Kiera Fox
- 05-08-19
My Favorite was Nick Offerman's Intro to the Dog
Great fun!
Then stories took weird turns and twists that were captivating and made walking my dog even more FUN!
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esto le resultó útil a 4 personas
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- Luiso
- 05-15-19
I thoroughly enjoyed this book
I definitely recommend this book: both entertaining and fun. Please keep away from children ages 35 and under 😋
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esto le resultó útil a 3 personas
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- Andy S
- 05-10-19
AMAZING!
The narration was more like voice acting. The sound effects made it so immersive. the stories were hilarious and relaxing at the same time. If i could, I would show this to everyone I know. good to listen to during the day and when going to sleep.
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esto le resultó útil a 3 personas
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- Antony
- 05-07-19
great performance
The narators brought the short stories to live and made the imagery very real and exciting
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esto le resultó útil a 2 personas
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- moosky moscovith
- 05-31-19
This is the best book ever!
This may really be the best thing I have heard on Audible, no scratch that, the best thing I have ever heard PERIOD! The book consists several stories narrated by different famous cynics, with presentations and interludes to each story by the one and only, Ron Swanson! (Ron keeps calling himself Nick Offerman for some reason, but he can't fool me). The stories themselves are all cynical and realistic takes on famous children fantasy stories, or some original thoughts and feeling someone wrote.
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esto le resultó útil a 2 personas
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- Amazon Customer
- 05-21-19
Very funny and entertaining
super entertaining, great performances ..I never found a boring story while listening to this audio book
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esto le resultó útil a 2 personas
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- Daniel Cheshire
- 05-11-19
Nick Offerman is a national treasure.
This was a fun listen... lots of talent reading some sometimes shocking stories. Probably not everyone’s cup of tea, but if you’ve got a taste for the irreverent the I think it’s worth your time.
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esto le resultó útil a 2 personas