Mating in Captivity

Reconciling the Erotic & the Domestic

By: Esther Perel

Narrated by: Esther Perel

Length: 8 hrs and 8 mins

Publisher's Summary

Esther Perel takes on tough questions, grappling with the obstacles and anxieties that arise when our quest for secure love conflicts with our pursuit of passion. She invites us to explore the paradoxical union of domesticity and sexual desire, and explains what it takes to bring lust home.

In her 20 years of clinical experience, Perel has treated hundreds of couples whose home lives are empty of passion. They describe relationships that are open and loving, yet sexually dull. What is going on?

In this explosively original book, Perel explains that our cultural penchant for equality, togetherness, and absolute candor is antithetical to erotic desire for both men and women. Sexual excitement doesn't always play by the rules of good citizenship. It is politically incorrect. It thrives on power plays, unfair advantages, and the space between self and other. More exciting, playful, even poetic sex is possible, but first we must kick egalitarian ideals and emotional housekeeping out of our bedrooms.

While Mating in Captivity shows why the domestic realm can feel like a cage, Perel's take on bedroom dynamics promises to liberate, enchant, and provoke. Flinging the doors open on erotic life and domesticity, she invites us to put the "X" back in sex.

©2006 Esther Perel (P)2006 HarperCollins Publishers

Critic Reviews

"As revelatory as it is straightforward....Perel sanctions fantasy and play and offers the estranged modern couple a unique richness of experience." (Publishers Weekly)

This book will ruin your marriage. GUARANTEED.

The author wants to ruin the entire foundation of marriage in the United States by propagating her ideas. We already have 53% divorce rate. In this book you will learn to see your love for your spouse and your sexual desire at the opposite sides of the spectrum with no way to reconcile them together! And her subtle solution is to seek desires outside or keep one's spouse as an outsider! She will teach you that you can't have it within your marriage. This book is a prescription for disaster. Ruin the marriage, and you ruin the society. I recommend John Gottman instead. He had a number of great books backed up by research.

Slices of life

This book is a litany of filler story after filler story of couples not having sex, with no solution offered whatsoever. Her reading is really bad, and her accent is distracting from the content.

Useless

This literally just talks about cases with patients the author has handled. No practical detailed advice or suggestions.

Gets stuck and closes at end of chapter 7

At end if chapter 7 it keeps getting stuck jammed and closes the whole app. cant listen to the remining content of this audiobook.

Continent is good.
Performance of narrator could be improved.mproved.

Overall it is a good book. but wouldnt recommend it until the technical problem is fixed.

Advice for a French surrender monkey

Short story is this, if you are having an affair, lying about it, and want to feel good about the lying and feel better about breaking your contract between your children, parents, friends, loved ones, and lover, then get this. Then maybe you'll feel better about being an ass who surrenders your most important commitments to your genitals.

If you want to add spark to a real marriage, look elsewhere.

But, if you prefer a fake marriage built around lies, read this book. I say strive to be more, and continue evolving. It is like our society has decided that merging with a more primitive monkey-like behavior is some sort of advancement. If you were to say these monkey type passions were right to act on, then it would be equally right to kill the invading mate.

Horrible Narrator

there is probably some wonderful information here but I couldn't get past the first 10 minutes. You have to put all your energy and attention toward just understanding the words and you dont really get to listen to the advice.

Boring

I just can't get into this book. Dr. Jamie Turndorf has a podcast with better, more positive and proactive advice. This book makes me feel trapped and depressed and I don't like it! I'm too happy for this, just looking for some fun tips and info, not some dragging rambling, not even sure what this author is talking about.

Illuminating...

Fascinating review of contemporary sexuality and its evolution in our society. How do couples navigate the winding road of eroticism in the flesh and in the mind?

Sad to hear so many couples are living without great sex in their relationships. Sadder still to hear that many couples believe such an outcome is a natural part of coupling and marriage.

Dr. Perel challenges some of the established thoughts about pleasure, excitement and eroticism shared between couples in committed relationships.

An illuminating read...

too focused on poetry

Struggled to finish. not a fan of foreign accents. Painfully slow at getting to the point. She tried to make a beautiful book using poetry and was too focused on showing everyone how articulate she can be. This book could have been half the length and then I would have given it 3 or 4 stars.

I did not like this book not what I was expecting

I do not believe that sex is just sex and it should not be had with family members! I'm extremely disgusted at the thought.