Loving Our Kids on Purpose

Making a Heart-to-Heart Connection

By: Danny Silk

Narrated by: Troy Klein

Length: 4 hrs and 29 mins

Publisher's summary

You can raise good kids!

Loving Our Kids on Purpose combines the principles of the Kingdom of God and revival to form a powerful strategy for parents.

Where the Spirit of the Lord is there is freedom. (2 Corinthians 3:17). Rather than the traditional approaches that train children to learn to accept being controlled by well-meaning parents and adults, this book teaches parents how to train children to manage their freedoms and protect their important heart-to-heart relationships.

Children were designed with the core need of freedom. To deny this or live ignorant of it eventually destroys the trust connection between parent and child.

There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love.(1 John 4:18 NKJV).

Loving Our Kids on Purpose introduces paradigms, perceptions, skills, and ideas that will help parents reduce fear by eliminating the tool of punishment, and strengthening the core character of their children by empowering their self-control and value for their relationship with their parents.

©2008 Danny Silk (P)2016 Destiny Image Publishers

Confusing, but some good advice

Danny makes some good suggestions, but his idea of God relating to us is confusing. He speaks as if God’s main priority is to make us independent of him and for us to make decisions without him. Danny relates this to parenting and says that that is our main priority. This is confusing. God does the opposite. He’s not trying to give us freedom in order to be self-reliant people. God wants us to be completely dependent on him in every situation. So to make the parallel between God’s parenting of us and our parenting of our children is confusing. His recommendations of giving choices is helpful in many ways, however he speaks as if we should give choices in every situation. This is impractical. He doesn’t do a very good job of speaking about what it means to honour your father and mother. Instead he makes the child the center focus of the family. He almost speaks as if a child can either have freedom or can respect their mother and father, but can’t do both. The child’s freedom, in his opinion, is of paramount importance. Sadly, they are in for a rude awakening when they enter the workforce and realise that they have to submit under authority and their boss is not going to always give them the choices they want. I like his idea of a “think it over” chair. That was good. If you are to read this book, I would suggest you read some other parenting books as well. I would not use this as your only parenting guide.

Life Changing

I would recommend this book to everyone raising children ... My prayer is for the Lord to ingrain into my brain these truths that I have missed all these years ... I have so messed up this parenting thing in so many ways ...with all of my good intentions!!! I have been parenting out of pure fear ... thinking that I could control behavior! Fear of failure ....I have failed miserably ...
Lord change ME, open my eyes to your Perfect Love - help me to know your love in my heart so that I can LOVE my kids on purpose!!!
Thank you for sharing these pearls of wisdom & truths!

Provides a great alternate perspective

Provides a refreshing perspective about what raising kids could look like without losing your mind or, more importantly, your relationship with your kids.

Kid should “be fun” in order to be around??

I was recommended this book and really wanted to like it… while I agree with some of his stances,I also wholeheartedly disagree with others. I had to stop listening because i just felt like I wasn’t getting anything from it and was noting how I disagree rather than what I learned.
For instance: the “no fun rule” saying the kid should be fun to be around or go to their room until they’re fun to be around. And if they try coming to you upset ask them “are you being fun? If not go to your room”…… basically telling the child, “nope I don’t wanna be around you unless you’re pleasing me, I have no space for you if you are having big feelings etc” I want my child to KNOW I’m here regardless if they’re “fun” or not. especially young kids, they need help learning to regulate their emotions and I feel like you set the precedence for a people pleaser if you continually tell them they must be fun in order to be accepted.
Not for me.
I also felt like there was lots of “fluff”. Saying what not to do but not giving a lot of alternatives.

Great book but not great narration

Wish the author had narrated. The narration was dull but content was well worth it.

Thank you

This book gives me more understanding on how to raise and approach my child. After listening to this book, I rarely yelled at my child as before. I now realized what I’ve been missing. Thank you.

Don’t waste your money / credits

This book is a Christian spin off of love and logic but his parenting examples are harsh and unbiblical. He does not show empathy and basically gives examples of chooses that cowrxe the child what to do. In one example a very young child is so overwhelmed by their tantrum they ask for a hug and the parent responds “no once you do …”. Withholding comfort from a child who needs it and is trying to calm down until they can obey is wrong. Kids brains are not fully developed yet. He initially states how we should not focus on obedience and force but later in the books all
Of the examples are using forced obedience through “choices.”

Matters of the heart

Excellent insights. Establishing heart to heart relationship with children/teens is key. Based off of God’s desired relationship with mankind. Heart relationships give room for vulnerability and genuine honesty. This is a breath of fresh air for parents, grandparents, great grandparents, guardians, teachers, etc.

SO Good

This is SO good. It is an encouraging ‘must read’ for parents who want to raise strong healthy happy kids who turn into strong healthy happy adults!

This is a wonderful book

I would like to thank the author for writing, such a helpful, practical book that my life and family will benefit from. Now onto find other books by the same author, I can’t wait to read them all.

Loved it took a lot out of this book and will use

I will be using some of the tips from this book. recommended.

Loved A***

Fantastic and extremely useful book

I have a 15 month old son. This book has already made a huge difference to ou

Excellent book

wow! This is so good. will read it again and again, but already applying some of the principles and they are really good.

Thank you very much. recommending to all my friends.

Great parenting book

I love the way the book connects the dots with the Bible quotes. Very balanced and inspirational approach.

Helpful and insightful (but will buy print book)

This book is a refreshing take on parenting from a Christian perspective, which furnishes the listener with both a compelling paradigm, to bed in over months and years, and tools to deploy immediately. Central to the whole book is the focus on recognising both a parent’s and a child’s power and need for freedom, and the importance of a heart connection between them that is more resilient and more effective than any external system of control. I have some quibbles, with the theological framework which asserts a very hard and fast distinction between the Old Testament and the New Testament, and with the allowance made for corporal punishment which I found confusing in the broader context. Neither of these are significant problems for the main argument and the genuinely exciting approach to parenting that it presents.

Alas the audio is let down by hasty and inattentive reading and there are several misplaced emphases.

very good but too brief

loved it but too brief. very helpful examples too. The narrator was also very good.

Best parenting book I've ever read!

Full of very useful and practical advice and methods & example conversations. I really wish I'd read this years ago!