I’m Supposed to Make a Difference

A Memoir About Overcoming Trauma and Abuse

De: Kevin Vought, Mary Watson PhD, Marguerite Pinard MD

Narrado por: Alan Taylor

Very few people know about the childhood trauma Kevin endured long ago in western New York. At first glance, he appears as an average engineer — with a loving wife, two amazing children, and a stable job. As Kevin digs deep into his memories, lingering doubts plague him as to whether a young girl he once knew survived the horrors — or fell to a tragic fate.

Fighting a grueling battle for decades against his long-buried memories, Kevin unravels mysteries and patterns to overcome the depression, anxiety, and suicidal inclinations that those same memories caused. Today, he’s largely conquered his demons — and shares with you the strategies he used to heal and transform.

Kevin’s doctor describes this deeply-honest account of his trauma, mental health treatment, and redemption as “a story about transformation and hope.”

©2021 Kevin Vought (P)2021 Kevin Vought

Kevin's memoir is both devastating and one of hope

I’m Supposed to Make a Difference by Kevin Vought, Mary Watson, and Marguerite Pinard, narrated by Alan Taylor, is a powerful story that pulls the listener in and keeps them entranced. Kevin’s memoir is both devastating and one of hope. This book most definitely needs a trigger warning for verbal, physical, and sexual abuse. At the core, Kevin’s story is one of survival. This is a man who has known such horror, such trauma as a child, and yet has confronted his past and can reflect on it with a renewed sense of self and with such a clear vision of the happiness his life now holds with his wife and his daughters. As Kevin’s story unfolds, it lays out the delicate balance of hate and connection to a biological parent that a person can have. Others may not understand the connection piece, but it is there. It’s disturbing how not one, but both of his parents had hateful tendencies. Kevin, at times, says positive things about both parents, but only when the other is doing something unspeakable. It’s interesting that both mother and father seemingly “protect” him but they both mistreat his as well. My heart breaks for Kevin as a boy, especially as he tried to figure out who he could tell about his grandfather, one by one eliminating the people a child should be able to go to for help. His grandfather was a horrible monster, and the fact that Kevin confronted his childhood trauma, survived it, and overcame it to lead a full life with his family is courageous and miraculous.

It is astounding that Kevin can share this story and both sides of his journey, his worst thoughts (suicidal ideation) and his healing thoughts (from this therapist) in such a way that the listener can gain a more complete picture of the transformation he has undergone. I found I’m Supposed to Make a Difference compelling, horrifying, uplifting, and above all, brave. I recommend this book as a stark reminder that each person has a journey we know nothing about. It highlights that peace can be found with help, perseverance, and courage. Thank you for sharing your story, Mr. Vought.

Excellent audiobook regarding trauma history

Kevin is very courageous and brave for taking time to relive his trauma and speak so eloquently about it for others to learn and feel as if they are not alone. The narrator is wonderful in his relating of Kevin’s word. The inflection is clear, concise and appropriate.I would highly recommend this audiobook for anyone who has encountered trauma in their life. The author and narrator are both sensitive to the reader/listener, but please be forewarned that this is a retelling of trauma and abuse and how the author has overcame these debilitating obstacles. Even if you yourself have not suffered trauma or abuse, this would be a good audiobook to listen to especially for those in the medical field or even anyone in general who will be working with children. This book shows just how much other’s actions influence children and the long lasting effects.

A Man’s Journey To Healing

I enjoyed this audiobook during my long commutes over a few days’ span. The very detailed story mixed with a good narrator allowed me to dive into Kevin’s life from childhood to a grown man with a long time wife and two daughters who still enjoy his company despite being teenagers now.

There were a few minutes that I gasped with my mouth wide open as we are told about the heavy abuse he suffered during childhood at the hands of a family member.
It was hard to listen to at some points.

The story is captivating and the narration is engaging.

Although I enjoyed the book I did, however, find that this was written as a way to heal one man’s childhood trauma and not necessarily something I would consider helpful for others who are seeking to reconcile the haunting memories of abuse.

Incredibly heartfelt and strong

My heart ached for Kevin and the serious and horrific abuse that he suffered as a child. It really brought tears to my eyes several times. It triggered a lot of memories of my own and as hard as that is, it helped me connect to his story. I couldn’t imagine going through the extensiveness that he did. The way that the story was told is handled with care and with a sensitivity that is appreciated. The narrators did a wonderful job of conveying emotion throughout the story.

It says a lot about him as a person to be able to walk through the healing process as is told through the memoir. Not only that but to be able to set a standard for himself for when he became a husband and father. Having learned lessons out of the trauma of his childhood, he was able to take something bad and do better. Anytime a survivor is able to come forward and do so much more is incredible. I applaud him for being honest and vulnerable in his truth-telling.

Inspiring to others who have experienced trauma

It read a bit more like a self-help book than a true memoir. I didn't feel much of an emotional connection with the author. I appreciate that the author shared his memories of trauma and battle with mental health.

Something Every Broken Person Can Relate To

I'll first say, I have not experienced the level of trauma Kevin Vought refers to in his memoir, "I'm Supposed to Make a Difference."

However, I could relate 100 % to trying to deal with repressed memories/feelings and dealing with parental/generational trauma. Without going into too much detail, I've been going through a difficult time with my dad this last year. It has resurfaced many forgotten feelings and memories of neglect from childhood that I've had to deal with. As a parent I have a hard time meshing the way I was treated by both parents then, who they are now, and how I'm trying to support my own children (who I love so much). I particularly resonated with Kevin's experience with his brother -- both had gone through very different experiences with the same people... which is something I can relate to with my own siblings.

I appreciated when Vought talked about his experiences with his therapist throughout the years. She told him one thing that has stuck with me for a few days now, about people being black and white... and how sometimes we have to try and see the grey within someone we see black as night. I've been trying to do that with my parents the last few years, but the reminder really hit me fresh.

While parts of this book (Vought's childhood) are really difficult to listen to, I left with a feeling of catharsis and kinship. Everything hasn't worked out magically for him, but I hope writing this book for the world has helped him find peace.

An emotional memoir.

Thank you Kevin Vought for having the strength and courage to write this memoir. It is breathtaking and worth talking about. It could not have been easy for Kevin to write. To relive those moments over and over to get them right. To survive after going through so much pain and neglect. To want to be a better person then what was programmed in him since birth. To become a better father, husband and advocate for the abused, A truly inspirational story.
Kevin was born in 1972 to a dad, brother and mom in Rochester, NY. The sad part is that Kevin was born a boy. His mom thought he was a girl, wanted a girl, dreamed he was a girl. He wasn’t and from day one. He never felt the true love from his mother. He became verbally, emotionally and physically abused for most of his childhood. Mostly by the hands of his mom. In these early years the story shows the growth of how Kevin learned to deal with his mother. It showed how he was able to control his surroundings. A favorite sentence that stood out was “That sums up most of my life: don’t go looking for trouble, but sure as hell don’t run from it like a coward either.” 
In the later years Kevin met his wonderful life partner and biggest supporter, his wife Jill. With her help and the support of his extraordinary therapist he was able to come to terms and bring light to his traumatic childhood with his grandfather, mother and father.  I also believe that the five actions or personal traits that Kevin put together for himself can work for everybody. Those being, Be Steadfast, Be Goal-Oriented, Find Good People, Accept Help and Focus on Your Anger. I can’t say I enjoyed reading the subject of this book. However I could not put it down.  I truly enjoyed listening to the story. It was well organized and emotionally pleasing watching the growth from innocence to horror then acceptance and understanding to healing. Narrator Alan Taylor really brought the memoir to life. He brings warmth and passion to a ugly subject. He keeps you engaged and captivated with a smooth delivery.  I recommend this book to a mature audience.

three stars

It was clear that the author had a difficult childhood and painful upbringing that had a significant effect on him well into his adult years. This was a great testament to therapy and the progress that can be achieved in doing the work. This book came across more as a therapeutic exercise rather than a memoir, and I would note that while making a recommendation.

Raw unabridged emotions

Appreciated the openness and ability to work through the issues he faced and is still recovering from today. This should be a must read for anyone who has suffered childhood trauma

Confusing timelines and unfocused themes

I’m sure that the author has experienced abuse but his timeline of events is confusing as it flips around from childhood to adulthood randomly and often goes off topic. Not a lot of details on the abuse itself but very detailed on random things such as the layout of his childhood home. An editor might have guided him into putting his thoughts and guidance into a more coherent read. Wish him peace in his recovery.