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I Used to Be a Miserable F*ck

An Everyman’s Guide to a Meaningful Life
By: John Kim
Narrated by: John Kim
Length: 5 hrs and 5 mins
4.5 out of 5 stars (53 ratings)
Regular price: $23.95
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Publisher's Summary

The Angry Therapist who has helped thousands of men find more happiness in their relationships and more purpose in their lives now shares his insights with everyone in this powerful guide - self-help in a shot glass - covering essential topics, from vulnerability and posturing to workouts and women.

Deep in post-divorce soul-searching, John Kim came to an astonishing realization: He was a miserable f--k who might just be to blame for the problems in his life. Armed with this new insight, he began The Angry Therapist blog - an admission that, while he was a licensed therapist and life coach, he was no better than the people who sought his advice. In his first post, “My F--king Feelings”, he wrote about the struggles and shortcomings that had led him to this point. As his work caught on, catapulting him into the role of unlikely and unconventional guide for thousands of people all over the world, Kim evolved from behaving like a boy to living like a man - and showed his clients how to do so as well.

In I Used to Be a Miserable F*ck, Kim delivers the dos and don’ts for stepping up and into manhood, which he defines by transparency and strength of character, not six-pack abs or a corner office. With his signature no-nonsense approach that will make you laugh and think, Kim takes you on a rugged, rough-and-tumble road trip of self-exploration and discovery, sharing his wisdom and insights, such as why:

  • Being nice is for boys and being kind is for men
  • Scheduling man dates could make you a better friend, lover, and human being
  • Peeing in the shower is a sign of a larger problem
  • Arguing, judging, and answering “I dunno” are keeping you from a healthy relationship, a great career, and a happy life

We are not born men. We are born boys. The transition from misery to meaning is an internal process that requires work: reflection, pain, courage, and sometimes, a rebirth. Kim knows because he’s been there. The truth is, men weren’t meant to just pay bills and die. With this audiobook as your guide, you will love hard, walk tall, and find a life filled with purpose and passion.

©2019 John Kim (P)2019 HarperCollins Publishers

What members say

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Nailed it

As a woman I say thank you John Kim for being direct without any sense of shaming. This is important dialogue for men and the women who love (or are trying to love) them. Authentic man journeys like his could revolutionize our world.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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Must Read

I did not start reading this book with anything in mind. I am busy and commute frequently so I acquired the audiobook to listen to on the road. I found myself delving into the story by laughing along to someone straight forward facts and knowledge. Women and men alike can read this book and enjoy.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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My first book on audible

This was my first book on audible so I didn’t know what to expect and I was hoping I made the right choice for me and that I would be actively paying attention all the way through. This was a FANTASTIC listen , I could relate to many of the things and stories he was talking about. It helped me to be a better me , get a new perspective on things , and grow up a bit. I would recommend this to anyone whose thinking about reading it or seems like they need to.

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must read for every man and woman who love

this book is an eye opener to many relationship road blocks. the only thing it lacks is a way to suggest it to the stubborn man. I have learned much about my myself from its wisdom.

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Man Up

Really enjoyed the candidness and they way it really fits in today's world in my opinion. Great job.

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This is a must-have for every man.

The difference between boy and man isn't as much a matter of age or gender as it is about maturity. Those of us who have discovered this about themselves will always seek to do more, live more, be more and encourage others to do the same. Not everything in this book may be new to you. You may have discovered some or several of these things on your own journey from boyhood to manhood, but you will learn new things and have more growth opportunity as a man because of this easy to listen to and easy to understand book. If you are seeking to become better than you are, I would encourage you to read/listen to this book and look into Freemasonry.

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Not just for men.

John Kim, this book should have a broader title because the majority of the guide is how to be a good person, not just man. I will apply a lot of this to my own life, and will no longer settle for some of the boys I have dated in the past. If anyone is unsure of what women are looking for, they can learn everything in about five hours, listening to this book.
Thank you for sharing your story and creating a guide that is so user friendly. I will likely be buying a paper copy as well, to read, reference, share, and write all over!

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Not Perfect but Worth Your Time and Money

This book is an easy listen that accomplishes what it sets out to do. John Kim doesn't do the best job reading his book, BUT I almost always prefer to hear the real author's voice in audio books - so I will give him the benefit of the doubt.

Kim is very believable as someone that used to be a "Miserable F*ck". In fact, he sounds like he used to be quite the A-Hole...and that he still has quite the opinion of himself. But all of that plus his experience as the Angry Therapist makes him very qualified to write this book. I like that each topic is covered in a short section. It actually makes it tempting to purchase the physical book so that I can quickly refer back to some topics. There are some things in the book that I couldn't relate to but many, many items that hit home. In the days since I finished the book I have already caught myself putting in extra effort to be a better person. I plan to re-listen to this book every so often to help keep me on the road to "recovery".

The only thing that could have significantly improved the book for me would be if it had sections that specifically addressed improving my relationship and behavior around my children. It seems pretty obvious to me that Kim isn't a father (obviously not his fault), but specific ideas about improving my overall family life would have been awesome.

I do strongly recommend the book to anyone that feels like they are generally miserable and not getting everything they want out of life. The book isn't perfect, but provides enough guidance and suggestions for improving things that it is well worth your time and money.

Final question that I was left with...who in the world is his mysterious ex-wife? He mentions her quite often and hints that she is a decently well known actress. Oh well - buy the book...you will be glad you did.

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completely amazing

love this book already on my second listen. it's humbling and full of practical information

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Great ideas but it’s not for me

I really appreciate the message of this book but I’m deciding to return it after about two hours of listening because the ‘shot-glass’ delivery of all this information doesn’t give me enough food for thought. I know I have a long way to go to becoming a better person but this just isn’t the book/audiobook for me. Thank you John Kim for your positive message, I wish you the best.