I Feed Her to the Beast and the Beast Is Me

By: Jamison Shea

Narrated by: Kristolyn Lloyd

From debut author Jamison Shea comes this slow-burn horror novel that lifts a veil on the institutions that profit from exclusion and the toll of giving everything to a world that will never love you back. This program is read by Grammy- and Emmy-award-winning-actor Kristolyn Lloyd.

There will be blood.

Ace of Spades meets House of Hollow in this villain origin story.

Laure Mesny is a perfectionist with an axe to grind. Despite being constantly overlooked in the elite and cutthroat world of the Parisian ballet, she will do anything to prove that a Black girl can take center stage. To level the playing field, Laure ventures deep into the depths of the Catacombs and strikes a deal with a pulsating river of blood.

The primordial power Laure gains promises influence and adoration, everything she’s dreamed of and worked toward. With retribution on her mind, she surpasses her bitter and privileged peers, leaving broken bodies behind her on her climb to stardom.

But even as undeniable as she is, Laure is not the only monster around. And her vicious desires make her a perfect target for slaughter. As she descends into madness and the mystifying underworld beneath her, she is faced with the ultimate choice: continue to break herself for scraps of validation or succumb to the darkness that wants her exactly as she is—monstrous heart and all. That is, if the god-killer doesn’t catch her first.

A Macmillan Audio production from Henry Holt & Company.

Critic reviews

<p>"With its monstrous ballerinas, beautiful monsters, and writing that drips with both beauty and gore, <i>I Feed Her to the Beast and the Beast Is Me</i> is a glorious debut. I would follow Jamison Shea down any dark path." —Erica Waters, Bram Stoker Award winning author of <i>The River Has Teeth</i><br><br>"Cut-throat competition and eldritch horrors — of both the human and monstrous kind — collide headfirst in <i>I Feed Her to the Beast and the Beast is Me</i>. Gloriously haunting and darkly thrilling, Jamison Shea’s words will leave you breathless." —Aiden Thomas, <i>New York Times</i> bestselling author of <i>Cemetery Boys</i> and The Sunbearer Trials.<br><br>"A beautifully wrought horror story that has you rooting for the monster in the face of insidious institutions. Shea’s writing is as graceful as the dancers in their book and will leave readers screaming for more blood." —Trang Thanh Tran, New York Times bestselling author of <i>She is a Haunting</i><br><br>"A hungry novel that smears your teeth with blood and ambition, then asks if you’d be willing to rip them out. Jamison Shea has cemented themself as a force to be reckoned with - and reminds us that when your enemies go low, you can always bury them there." —Andrew Joseph White, <i>New York Times</i> bestselling author of <i>Hell Followed With Us</i><br><br>"A sinister, delicious dive into a truly captivating villain origin story. In lyrical prose and a cutting pace, Shea explores the ways power corrupts and the way racist, elitist systems push us to hunger for it. As Laure descended, I descended with her, and when I turned the final page I was starving for more." —Courtney Gould, award-winning author of <i>The Dead and the Dark</i><br><br>"Brutal and beautiful, this book will drag you through the bloodied depths of fierce ambition and into a raw, untethered world of chaos, where salvation comes from crossing the line between girl and monster." —Lyndall Clipstone, author of The World at the Lake's Edge duology and <i>Unholy Terrors</i></p>

Phenomenal

As a Black woman that is exceptional, but has to work twice as hard to be deemed just as good, this book touched me to my core. I feel seen and I understand Lawre and the choices she made. The descriptive scene setting in this book is beautiful and the story truly resonated with me.

When Ego Devours a Black Girl’s Soul

Beautifully written and deeply frustrating. As a Black woman, it was exhausting watching Laure destroy herself trying to be seen by people who never planned to accept her. She didn’t want love or peace—she wanted worship. Keturah was the only one who felt real. She held onto empathy even through pain and the absence of it. Laure could have done the same. Instead, she became the beast, and made others suffer because she was suffering. It’s powerful, but it hurt to read. Maybe that was the point.

Loved it!

This is a laure and andor stan account! I loved every second of this read!

Gorgeous storytelling.

My goodness, I'm only halfway through the novel and I've cried so many times. The way Shea captures the anxiety and the feelings of not feeling good enough during the ballet scenes. Perfection. Pure perfection.

Absolutely incredible!

I enjoyed every second of this book and cannot wait to see what Jamison Shea does next!

Love the anti-hero but hero trope

Great writing and good plot. I really loved the anti-hero portrayal of the main character. Did she having a savior complex? Yes but i also love the dark aspect that it brings to her character and storyline. Really enjoyed listening/reading this one

Excellently Monstrous

I am not into horror, but my daughter IS. She strongly encouraged me t get this book, "I think you'll like it." Understatement. I am jonesing for the next book. Just added a new author to my list.

Pretty interesting monster story!

The writing is beautiful. Very detailed and wonderfully descriptive. The characters are relatable and the world is vivid. If I was part of the ballet world, I would have appreciated the dance verbiage more, but as someone on the outside, it seemed a bit too much at times. I got distracted occasionally by the dance moves and terminology at certain points and lost track of what was happening. However, it was still fun to listen to and I would be back for the sequel!

Good book

Good story overall and the narrator was amazing!! It was a bit slow for me but still good.

Yes!!! Yea!!!! Yes!!!

The beast is ME!!! I’m sold!!! All I’m reading now is YA fiction!!!! From the very 1st line in the book to the very last…..AMAZING!!!! I heard the ballet works was rough…but I didn’t think it was that cut throat!!!